26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Parker
The rhythmic pounding of my feet against the pavement is supposed to calm my racing thoughts, but instead, they only seem to be spiraling faster.
I don’t like Dalton. And no, I don’t have a reason.
Maybe it was seeing him lip-locked with Amy through the lobby windows. Or maybe it’s just a gut instinct—though I can’t seem to find anything wrong with the guy. He respects Amy and clearly likes her. I mean, he sees her all the freaking time.
I turn up the music in my AirPods, hoping that the ’90s rock will somehow drown out the noise in my head as I jog through the city streets. The familiar sights and sounds usually bring me peace, but this evening, they only serve to magnify my unease. I can’t shake the feeling that something is off, and it nags at me like an itch I can’t scratch.
As I reach the park, I slow my pace and head for my favorite bench overlooking the city skyline. The setting sun casts a warm golden glow over the buildings, but my mind is far from the picturesque scene before me.
Sitting down, I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to clear my head. But even in the darkness behind my eyelids, all I can see is Amy’s face—the freckles sprinkled across her nose, her soft smile that lights up her eyes, the way she bites her lip when she’s nervous. It’s maddening how easily she’s lodged herself in my thoughts.
I know I have no right to feel this way. Amy and I are friends, nothing more. Though, we’ve been growing significantly closer since she moved into my place—sharing meals together, getting to know each other’s routines and favorite television shows. She even wrangled me into watching The Golden Bachelor with her one evening, and now I’m admittedly invested in these sixty- to seventy-year-olds finding love. Which she gets a kick out of teasing me about—considering I don’t even really believe in love.
But watching the show makes her happy, which makes me happy.
But that’s beside the point.
The point is ... Amy is free to date whoever she wants. It’s not like I have any claim over her. Plus, she deserves to find someone who truly cares for her, who can give her the kind of love she so wholeheartedly believes in.
With a resigned sigh, I check my watch and decide to make my way back home. Twenty minutes later, I step off the elevator to my penthouse apartment and unlock the front door.
“Hey you,” Amy greets as I step through the doorway. She looks stunning as ever in her pencil skirt and blue blouse. It brings out the color in her eyes. “How was your run?”
I manage a smile as I close the door, trying to push aside my earlier feelings as I respond, “It was good, thanks. How was your day?”
“Good! Thanks for asking. Do you want me to make us some dinner tonight?”
“Aren’t you going out with Dalton? You’ve been seeing him almost every day for the past two weeks.”
“He has a meeting with his partners tonight,” Amy says, a tinge of pride in her voice. The guy is driven, considering he owns an incredibly successful financial firm, but he’s also selfless... Because you know, he works at a vet clinic for hardly anything...
Ugh.
“We’ll hang out tomorrow,” Amy continues. “I’m still in awe that Dalton puts in so much time at the clinic and then turns around and goes to business meetings in the evenings. He literally never complains about it.”
“That’s great and all, but what happens when he has a family?” I ask as I unlace my running shoes. “Wouldn’t the fact that he’s working all the time get in the way of family time?”
Amy just shrugs. “I mean, he only has meetings every now and then. I don’t think it would affect anything in the long run. ”
“Have you talked about...” My voice trails off because, suddenly, I’m not really sure I want to know.
“Having a family?” Amy finishes, giving me a funny look as she starts pulling ingredients down from the cabinets. “No. We haven’t. Well, not about having a family together, at least. He’s mentioned that he wants to have a family someday, and I do, too.”
“Hmm,” I reply, turning to set my running shoes on the rack.
Amy’s next question stops me in my tracks. “Do you want a family someday, Parker?”
Confliction fills my chest. “Uh...”
“It’s okay to just be honest,” she urges, giving me a half-hearted smile. “I know you’re not into relationships and all that. Obviously, if you stay single, that would make it hard to have a family of your own. I shouldn’t have even asked.”
“The idea of having a family has always been appealing to me,” I admit, shocking myself with my honesty. “I just don’t see a way I’ll ever have one.”
Amy pauses opening the bag of potatoes and frowns at me. “Because you don’t think you’ll ever find the right person?”
“Yeah, I guess. I’d rather not raise kids in a family of dysfunction like mine. It’s not a great way to live.”
“But you’re not your dad.” Her words hit me like a freight train right to the chest.
“I never said that I was,” I snap, shaking my head before finally setting my shoes down .
Amy immediately recoils. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I just meant...” She sighs, her shoulders falling. “You have such a good grip on the way a relationship should be. I don’t see why you couldn’t be successful at keeping the love alive once you found the right person, and I think deep down you want—”
“No,” I cut her off, feeling stupid and vulnerable. “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Because you’re going to lose the bet?” She shoots me a clever grin.
Ugh. She never just lets me be irritated.
“No,” I reply. “And I haven’t lost the bet yet. Dalton isn’t your boyfriend.”
“How do you know?” She raises a brow as I make my way toward her in the kitchen.
“Because if he was, then you’d have been rubbing it in my face and jumping for joy by now. There’s no way you’d be able to keep that inside.”
She pouts in a way that makes me want to kiss her. “Fair enough. I guess you know me better than I thought.”
“Well, you have lived here for three weeks.”
“Ugh, I know.” She gives me a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I’m probably such a thorn in your side. My landlord told me there aren’t any empty apartments available that they can move me to. I think they’re just going to have to break my lease and I’ll find a new place—but I can definitely move out sooner than later. Just say the word. I don’t want to be in your way. ”
“You’re never in my way.”
Her eyes soften toward me as I brush past her, her perfume filling my nostrils. I swear the more she’s around the more appealing she becomes.
“You really don’t mind me living here?”
I can’t tell if she’s fishing as she looks up at me, holding my gaze. For a moment, I consider being funny, making a dry joke about it. But I don’t. “I like having you here.” I open the drawer, pull out the potato peeler, and set it on the counter.
Amy falls into silence as she washes the potatoes and I grab the trash can. I can’t tell if she’s gone quiet because I said something that’s bothering her or if she just doesn’t have anything to say. I mean, maybe she doesn’t like staying here but doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
I distract myself from those thoughts as I grab a potato and start peeling it, watching as Amy gets the steaks ready.
“So, you had a good day at work?” I ask awkwardly, hating the silence between us.
“Yeah,” she says, not looking at me. “It wasn’t bad. I’ve been growing a lot closer to Nellie, which is nice. It’d be nice to have some close girlfriends in the city.”
“Yeah, having friends that are girls would be a little less off-putting to your potential suitors, I suppose.” I chuckle.
“Dalton doesn’t mind our friendship,” she says, eyeing me. “I mean, at first he seemed a little confused, but then once he understood that we’re just friends, it didn’t bother him. ”
“Even though we met at a speed-dating event?”
Her facial expression shifts.
He doesn’t know.
“Amy ... you can’t lie to him about how we met.”
“I didn’t lie to him,” she says earnestly. “I just didn’t tell him where we met. I didn’t want him thinking anything has ever happened between us.”
But it has.
I kissed her.
And I wouldn’t blame Dalton for not being okay with that.
“It could come across like we’re more than friends...” she continues at my silence.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. But if he ever brings it up, you should probably tell him the truth. You don’t want to start off your relationship with lies.”
“I’ll tell him if he asks.”
“Good,” I say, going back to peeling potatoes. “Does he have any lady friends? Maybe it doesn’t bother him because he’s got close girlfriends of his own.”
“Well, he’s kind of close with the veterinarian he works for at the clinic. They’ve known each other for a really long time.”
“Ah, I see.” I don’t know Dalton enough to throw out any kind of meaningful comment. From what I can tell, he seems pretty solid.
“Yeah, in fact, we’re going on a double date with her.”
“That’s fun,” I say, trying to sound more enthused than I feel.
“With you. ”
“What?” I nearly peel the skin right off my finger. “What do you mean, with me?”
“On our first date, he mentioned setting you up. He asked if we’d want to go on a double date tomorrow night, and I said yes, since you told me earlier your schedule was clear.” Her eyes widen as she spots my bleeding finger. “Are you okay?” she asks as she grabs a paper towel and runs it under water.
I take the damp towel and step away when she tries to doctor my finger for me. “I don’t want to go on a date, Amy.”
“You always say that.” She huffs. “Just go out with us. It’ll be fun.”
“I...” My finger hurts like heck as the blood soaks through the thin paper towel. “You know me well enough to know that it never works out for me, either.”
“That’s only because you don’t let it work.”
“Not true.” My words are empty.
“Will you let me help you? Please?” Amy steps toward me, her hands outstretched. “You’re bleeding all over the place.”
I shake my head, suddenly feeling like a little kid in the presence of a worried mother. “No, I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”
“No one said that you couldn’t, Parker,” she snaps, grabbing for me before I can step away. The warmth of her touch on my wrist stops me in my tracks. I catch my breath as her hair brushes my nose and shut my eyes as her gentle touch skates across my hand.
“Am I going to lose my finger, doc?” I choke out, but the joke doesn’t really land .
“I think it looks worse than it actually is.” Her voice is soft as she pulls the paper towel away, dabbing at the wound.
My heart is pounding, my mind racing as Amy tends to my finger. I can’t help but be hyper-aware of her every move, her touch sending a jolt through me.
“I’ll peel the rest of the potatoes,” she says, looking up at me.
I catch her gaze and my heart starts to race.
Something about her simple act of care has ignited a spark deep within me. And now, everything in me wants to wrap her up in my arms and kiss her. My mind fills with images of laying her down and kissing her all over—or maybe just ... holding her.
And it’s the first time in my life that I’ve ever thought about anyone like that.
“I can still peel the potatoes.” I manage to break my romantic train of thought as she steps away, leaving me feeling disappointed.
“Well, let me at least get you a bandaid. I don’t know about you, but eating bloody mashed potatoes isn’t really my thing.”
I laugh, shaking my head at her as she digs through the first aid kit she grabs from the pantry. “We just gotta rinse them well before they cook.”
“Mmm, not sure that’s gonna get rid of the blood-born pathogens.”
“Right, so I’m a zombie?”
She bursts into a fit of giggles as she pulls a bandage out and heads toward me again. “No, but you might have cooties. ”
“Then you must have them, too,” I blurt out as she grabs my hand.
Amy stops for a moment, looking up at me only long enough to show the emotion in her eyes. However, she shifts her attention back to my finger before I can decipher them. “Here.” Amy rolls my finger and places the bandaid over the cut. “All better, but I have a feeling it’s going to be sore.”
“It’ll be fine,” I say, feeling empty again as she steps away from me.
All the sirens are going off in my head.
I know what I’m feeling is not okay—especially considering she’s seeing someone else.
I really need to get over this crush...
Or whatever it is.
“I’ll go on the date.”
Amy doesn’t look up from the sink. “Great.”