Chapter 16
I’m still here.
Raven wasn’t quite sure why that was, why he hadn’t managed to run, to leave all of this behind. The…shame. I’m ashamed of myself. But I’m still here.
The memories kept replaying, almost like background noise, but red and dark and painful. Everything after he’d followed Laurenzio, everything at Prof. LeRoux’s place. At the park.
The dog that had walked home with them—Raven wasn’t sure whether they had stolen him or not—got up, stretched, and yawned. Then he walked around the table, head held high, jumped on the couch, and curled up right next to Raven, touching his leg.
Raven reached out and placed his hand on the dog’s side. It was impossible not to. He was warm and soft, and the way he rolled closer to Raven while adjusting his position made Raven feel like this dog didn’t care about what had happened to him, couldn’t see all the shame and guilt.
Maxim whistled low and came over with two steaming mugs in his hand.
One had the string and little paper tag of a teabag coming out the top.
The tag was green with a little cursive logo on it, and Maxim had tied it around the handle to keep it from going into the mug.
Raven could smell both drinks—the charred, warm scent of coffee, and the fresh, sharp smell of peppermint.
“Here you go.” Maxim placed the mug on the table in front of Raven before settling on the couch and taking a sip of his own coffee. He smiled at the dog. “He likes you.”
Next to Maxim, Heath groaned. “Aaaah.”
Maxim looked at Heath. “Good morning, darling.”
“Nooo…” Heath covered his face with his hands and rolled onto his back on the couch, then struggled into something resembling an upright position.
He tried to blink his eyes open, with only moderate success.
He spotted the mug in Maxim’s hand, and Raven recognized the ravenous thirst of a coffee drinker.
“Ah…! Gimme.” Heath took the mug from Maxim and gulped. Then he stopped, and as if it were a scene from a movie, spewed it back out, spraying most of it all over Maxim’s face.
“What the fuck is this?” Heath asked, sounding both shocked and awake.
Maxim sighed, but he remained freakishly calm, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “Darling, it’s coffee.”
“There’s fucking sugar in this!”
“That’s because it’s my coffee.”
Heath’s eyebrows shot up. He looked about ready to cry. “You didn’t make me coffee? I thought you made me coffee. I have a headache.” He looked at the mug that was still in his hand. “This isn’t coffee. Why didn’t you make me coffee?”
“My darling boy, you have a hangover. Here.” He took the mug from Heath and stood. “I’ll make you coffee, extra strong, just the way you like it. Then I’ll change. It’s been a while since I’ve had to change because of you.”
Heath leaned back against the couch. “Yeah. You should change more because of me.” His eyes fell shut. Then they snapped open a moment later. “Are you walking around the house in the silly bat PJs?”
He started to turn, but abandoned the attempt, flinching. Apparently he hurt too much for movement.
“You gave them to me, darling.” Maxim poured Heath a large mug from the machine and handed it over. “I’ll be back shortly. Entertain Raven.”
Maxim smiled at Raven, who…blushed. No, stop. I’m all over the place. He doesn’t mean it like that. There is no way he likes me. No way.
Heath looked at Raven. “Oh. I didn’t see you there. You’re up early.” Maxim’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. Heath narrowed his eyes. “Wait. Wait. I know that sweater.” The dog turned and put his head on Raven’s leg. He slow-blinked at Heath, who blinked right back. “What the fuck is that?”
“He…he’s a dog.” Raven patted his head. He liked the pointy ears.
“I can see that. The fuck is there a dog here? Or is that—hey, are you some weird werewolf? Is it the full moon?”
“No.” It can’t be. The park was so lonely. No one was waiting there for me to pay me back for what I did.
Heath took a swig of his coffee. “How do you know? Also, what’s with the dog? Did you have a dog? Jason didn’t say you had a dog.” Heath looked around. “Where the fuck is Jason?” He looked back at the dog and tilted his head. “J-Jason?”
“Jason didn’t turn into a dog. You might still be drunk.
We just went to the park, and there was a guy running after this dog.
He let him off his leash, but I guess the dog never liked his leash.
Maxim threw it in the lake.” Raven bit his lip.
“He compelled the man, I think, and we took the dog with us.”
Heath’s eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open, and he was nodding. “Huh. Yeah. Yeeeeah. This is my fault. I didn’t get you a phone. I told you to call me and—wait, did Maxim take you to the fucking park in his batty PJs? And why are you wearing his clothes? What the fuck happened?”
Elsewhere in the penthouse, a door closed, and not long after, Jason shuffled into view from the hallway that led to Raven’s room, looking worse for wear. Clement was holding him upright and rubbing his back.
“There, there. I told you that you would throw up all that blood, didn’t I?”
“Ugh, shut up.” He spotted Raven and threw him a victory sign.
“You were throwing up?” Heath sounded unimpressed.
Clement gave him a level gaze. “For about the past hour. You missed it all.”
Heath snorted. “Sorry, not sorry.”
“I’m all good now. Hey, ’s that a dog?” Jason asked.
“They brought him in from the street. He lives here now,” Clement said.
Maxim came jogging down the stairs with his braid redone, dressed in yesterday’s clothes.
“Oh, good morrow, Jason. You two are quite the sight. Clement, be a darling Lar and give poor Jason some coffee.”
Heath was holding his head. So was Jason.
“Mr. Vallois, do you have to be so…bubbly? And loud? Sorry, it’s just that my head really hurts. You have such a beautiful bathroom though. Nice floors. I really love the floors. I think I fell asleep on them for a couple of minutes. Very comfortable. For, you know, floors.”
“Why, thank you. You’re most welcome to a shower too. After some breakfast, perhaps?”
Heath groaned. “Aw, no. Blood diet.”
Jason shuddered. “Nah. Nuh-uh. No more blood.”
Clement patted his back. “That’s it. That’s the right answer. Such a smart human you are.”
Raven’s hand balled in the dog’s fur, but he stopped, not wanting to hurt him.
How are they for real? Why are all of them so silly?
Was Jason always like this? Raven thought about the parties they’d been to together, about stuff they’d done together—pigging out on snacks Jason had brought from home after the holidays or having too much vodka with too much Coke after the final exam of a term.
He was always that silly. When did I forget?
Jason plopped onto the couch on Raven’s other side, making him flinch. “Oh, sorry. So what’s with the dog?”
The dog looked at Jason with tepid interest, but got up and climbed on Raven’s lap in order to sniff Jason.
“I guess he’s with me?”
Jason grinned. “I had a dog growing up. Dasher. I told you about him, right?”
Raven nodded. “A couch potato despite the name.”
“Yup. This one’s a cutie though.” He patted his lap. “C’mon, boy. Come here. I give good scratches.”
The dog promptly turned up his nose, did a little pirouette, and plopped down on Raven’s lap.
Maxim sat back down on the couch while Clement brought Jason some coffee. “Here, human. Have this if you cannot have that canine’s soft affection.”
Jason nodded. “Thanks.” Then, in a whisper: “Also for helping me in the bathroom. Really, thank you.”
Much like the dog, Clement turned up his nose. “You were unable to help yourself. I have to go now. There are duties I have to attend to.”
They all watched Clement walk away. He had to push the call button of the elevator, and it took a while to get there.
Clement was as stoic about that as the commuters who took New Amsterdam’s subway on a daily basis.
After he’d gone, no one spoke for a long while, but eventually, Heath put down his mug and stood, holding his head.
“I…am going to work too. Ugh, the blood diet.” He smiled at Raven with dark rings under his eyes standing out starkly. “Hey, want to come grab some blood with me downstairs?”
Raven looked at the dog in his lap. “I think I’m good.”
Heath groaned. “I’ll make sure there’s dog food. That one looks spoiled.”
Jason chuckled. “Takes one to know one.”
Maxim cackled but tried coughing to hide it. The dog looked up at what was going on, and Raven couldn’t help smiling as well.
Heath pointed at each of them in turn. “You’re all in cohorts—in cahoots! Fuck me. I need to get to work. Raven, I’m getting your phone set up. An hour. Maybe. Jason, if you were serious about temping here, you have to come see me for a contract. Which Maxim could do but—”
Maxim clicked his tongue. “Darling, you know I cannot handle all of the legalish stuff. It always upsets you when I do.”
“Because you—no, I’m not falling for it. Deep breaths. I’ll be at work. Jason, see me once you’re sober.”
“Oh, I’m pretty sober.”
“Shush,” Maxim said. “Heath isn’t.”
Heath grumbled under his breath as he strode off. The elevator was waiting for him and let him make his exit while glowering at a smiling Maxim.
Raven went back to petting the dog and watching those pointy ears. Nothing feels real anymore. Jason leaned against him like he’d done countless times back at the dorm. It was so normal. It should have felt normal, just like always.
“Let me rest my eyes for a sec, yeah?” Jason mumbled.
Maxim chuckled, and his smile made his green eyes twinkle. “There now, Raven. You are beleaguered by the nappers.”
Raven stroked the dog’s back. “I guess I am.”
Maybe, if he stayed like this for long enough, it would start to feel normal again.