Chapter 10
I was seething as I left the house, but the drive to the bar gave me time to cool down.
I couldn’t believe Erin’s nerve—especially since she waited until after I’d uprooted my entire life to spring the paperwork on me.
I didn’t know what the future with Hannah would look like, but I sure as hell knew I wanted to give it a shot.
I needed to get out of my head. So I took a deep breath and headed into work, ready to forget for a while.
A cold Friday night in Salem meant that everyone and their mother turned up at the bar, and for a change, I didn’t have the patience for it.
I was completely out of my element, and it threw me.
Uncharacteristically snippy, I didn’t even flirt, struggling to hold the simplest of conversations.
Dani, my tiny pink-and-purple-haired co-worker, zipped around me like it was a choreographed dance—one I hadn’t learned yet.
We’d worked a couple of shifts together, but tonight we bumped and crashed into each other multiple times.
By the third cocktail I dropped, she crouched next to where I was picking up the shaker and grabbed my wrist.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing,” I snapped, wrenching out of her grip.
“You’re fuming, Ryder. You have been since you walked in.”
“I said I’m fine.”
Being the spitfire she was, she snatched the shaker from me, tossed it in the dish bucket, and was already remixing the drink I’d been making as I straightened. “Get more napkins from the supply closet. Second door on the left.”
“We don’t—”
“Napkins. Now.” She faced me, concern in her dark eyes. “Take your time; make sure to grab the right ones.”
She was giving me an out.
“You’re sure?” I asked.
“I’ve handled worse than this crowd on my own. Go.” She inclined her head toward the hallway.
I retreated. I moved quickly, but it didn’t seem to matter.
By the time I reached the second door on the left, I couldn’t breathe.
My throat was tight. I was choking on the pathetic sounds threatening to bubble out of me.
I entered the closet, kicked the door shut, and paced in a circle, wheezing through every lap.
My chest burned and my eyes stung, but with each step, my breathing came easier. I paced until I could breathe without choking. Only then did my steps slow. I leaned against the wall between two shelf stands, hands on my knees, head down. I needed to pull myself together.
I heard the doorknob click. “I’ll be right there, Dani,” I said.
“Oh, sorry.”
My heart leapt into my throat at the voice that wasn’t Dani’s.
I pressed the heels of my hands into my dry, burning eyes.
“James, I just came in for napkins.” I winced at my uncharacteristic stammering.
I pretended to scan the shelves for the napkins—the ones we didn’t need and were very clearly marked.
“I know. I came to see if you needed help.” Though his words were harmless, he had a lilt to his voice that suggested he knew exactly what I was doing in the supply closet. I scrubbed a hand over my face, but the puffy red skin would give me away the second I turned around.
“No. I’m okay. Thank you.” I felt vulnerable, and I hated feeling vulnerable. None of this felt like me.
I closed my eyes again and counted each thump of my heart to distract myself from the loaded silence. I could tell James wanted to say something, to pry, but he respectfully didn’t and stayed quiet.
“I’ll just be a minute,” I whispered, my voice hoarse.
“Take your time. We can hold down the fort out here.”
I answered with a nod, the door quietly clicking shut as he left. It took an embarrassing amount of time to stop hearing my heartbeat in my ears. Slowly, the burning in my eyes receded, along with the ache in my chest. I grabbed the sleeve of napkins and made my way back to the bar.
With my breakdown out of the way, I worked a little easier.
I still faltered here and there, but I managed to move around Dani without spilling anymore drinks.
She and James had handled the bulk of the rush, so I was able to ease into a leisurely pace.
I took my anger out on the cocktail shakers, jamming their lids into place like they were the ones with the guts to serve me those papers.
I wasn’t only indignant for myself, but for Hannah as well.
She hadn’t deserved any of the trouble between her parents.
A year ago, she’d been a normal teenager with a normal life and normal parents.
Then her life exploded. Erin was trying to cover her own mistakes—in the wrong way.
I didn’t think anything could squash my anger toward her in that moment.
Until I looked up from the drink I was mixing to see James watching me from the corner of the room.
He smiled at me, and my heart beat faster.
I could’ve sworn his eyes traveled down my body, so I let mine do the same to him.
I admired the way his pecs rippled as he folded his arms across his chest, his shirt tightening.
My eyes came back to his, and when they met, I gave him a wink.
My mouth slowly curled into a grin—which he returned.
Yeah, yeah, call me brazen, but I wasn’t going to give up a chance to check him out again.
I looked down, just for a second, but when I glanced up again, he was gone. Oddly, I found myself… disappointed. I scanned the room, but there was no sign of him. I found myself wondering how he moved so damn fast—and without being noticed.
I shook it off, turning my attention to the next person who approached the bar.
Back in Vegas, bartending was my life. First to show up and the last to leave.
I worked whenever I was asked, and I didn’t complain.
But the last week had been hard—harder than I’d expected.
So I was relieved when two a.m. hit, signaling the end of my shift.
I locked the door and turned off the neon sign above the window.
A chill shivered down my spine, which I blamed on the wind seeping through the cracks around the front door.
I turned, cursing and jumping back when I found James standing directly behind me—again.
“Sorry,” he snickered, eyes brimming with mischief.
Damn, he had a killer smile.
“Where’d Dani go?” I asked, gathering the dishes scattered around the tables.
“I sent her home,” he said, helping me with my task. “I wanted to talk to you.”
Uh-oh. I brushed my hair out of my face. “If it’s about earlier, I promise it won’t happen again. I’m not usually like that.”
“That wasn’t a problem, Ryder. I just wanted to check in. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “Everything’s fine.”
“Girl trouble?”
You have no idea. “I guess you could say that.” I gave him my best grin, which I’m not sure was convincing.
He smiled back though, and we quietly finished cleaning up.
We took the dishes to the back, washing the glasses until they were spotless.
As we worked, he stood close enough that our elbows bumped from time to time.
We stopped apologizing somewhere around the third bump.
God, I felt like a teenager with my first crush.
Standing that close to James, feeling the heat coming off his body was driving me wild.
“So,” he finally said, breaking the silence, “what’s her name?”
“Who?”
“The girl giving you trouble.”
“Which one?”
James stilled, cocking a brow at me. “Bit of a player, huh?”
Nice way to put it. I chuckled. “Are you asking me if I’m single?”
“I’m just trying to make conversation,” he said, shrugging. “She your girlfriend?”
“Definitely not. I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Boyfriend?”
I smirked. “Is it a job requirement to disclose my sexual preferences to my new boss?”
“Of course not. I’m just hoping to get to know you better.”
“I usually make a guy buy me a drink first.”
“Have I mentioned yet that I own a bar?”
My smirk relaxed into a smile. “There’s no boyfriend.”
I returned my focus to the glasses, and James seemed to take the hint, doing the same. “If you ever need anything, please tell me. Even if we’re slammed and you need the night off. I take care of my employees, Ryder.”
Meeting his dark eyes, my quip died in my throat. “Thank you,” I managed. “That means a lot.”
I was drained, but I hung around until he locked up, and we parted ways with him promising to get me a key on my next shift.
In the parking lot, I noticed a car idling next to mine, and as I approached, Ben got out and perched on his hood.
“Should you be driving?” I joked.
He laughed. “It’s been hours. Plus, that whole situation back there sobered me right up.” He scuffed a toe on the concrete. “I came to apologize.”
I took the spot next to him, shoving my hands in my pockets. “I know you’re just trying to protect your daughter.”
“Erin is trying to protect our daughter. I’m trying to rein her in.” He sighed. “I told her we shouldn’t ambush you—especially before talking to Hannah. That girl has had her whole world flipped upside down. Someone needs to be on her side.”
“That’s why I moved across the country. I haven’t known her for very long, but she’s an incredible person. You and Erin have done an amazing job raising her. I’m not going to take her away.”
“I know that, and I think Erin knows that too. I honestly don’t know what’s gotten into her.”
I cringed. “I think I do. Decades-old memories resurfacing.”
“Ryder, that’s not—”
“Ben. I know it’s been twenty years, but our breakup was messy.
Painful—for both of us. We never hashed any of it out.
With a kid in the mix we likely never will.
” I sighed. “I’m the one who should be apologizing for my reaction tonight.
I knew that meeting wasn’t going to be easy, but I never expected termination papers to be put in front of me. ”
“Understandable.” The conversation lulled, and I looked over to see Ben’s brow furrowed, his eyes cast downward. Something was on his mind.
“What’s your stance in all this?” I asked.
An uneasy laugh bubbled out of him. “I…” He hesitated, then took a deep breath. “As much as the outcome terrifies me, I need to side with Hannah on this one.”
“Terrifies?” I echoed.
His expression went from uncomfortable to scared, almost fragile. “What if she doesn’t pick me?”
My heart hurt for him. “That won’t happen.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“For one thing, she walked into that house today and called you Dad, not me. You’re not going anywhere—especially once she knows you’re on her side.”
My phone buzzed in my hand. Hannah’s name flashing across the screen. I kept it angled away from Ben, considering, then finally decided to see what she wanted before cluing Ben in. “I should take this,” I said. “Someone I met back in Vegas.”
“Sure,” he nodded. “I’ll, uh, see you around.” I nodded to him, and he climbed back into his car and shut the door.
I rounded my car’s hood and got into the driver’s seat, then answered the call. “What are you doing up?” I whispered. “It’s three in the morning.”
“I had to wait until Mom was in bed.” Hannah’s voice sounded strained. Then she sniffled. “Tell me you aren’t going to sign the papers.”
I watched Ben’s car pull away and drive off into the night. “So your mom told you.”
Another sniffle. “She wasn’t going to. I snatched the file off the table and locked myself in my room.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out that way, Hannah.” I blinked against the burning in my own eyes.
“You haven’t answered me yet,” she said with a sob. “Are you going to sign them?”
“Do you want me to?” I blurted. Ordinarily, I avoided asking questions that might lead to answers I didn’t want, but Hannah’s needs came before my own. Even if I wouldn’t be happy about it.
“No!”
“Then I won’t. But tonight’s not the time to have this conversation. Everyone’s upset and emotions are high.”
“Thank you, Ryder.”
“For what?”
“For not treating me like a kid.”
“Yeah, well, that’s about to change. You need to go to bed.” I swallowed a yawn. “And so do I. We’ll talk about this later.”
Hannah finally laughed and relented, and we said our goodbyes.
When I looked up, I swore I saw someone disappear around the corner and into the alley.
There weren’t any other cars around, and as far as I knew, no businesses were open.
The strip was dark, the area deserted. I shook my head, chalking it up to being tired, and headed home.