Chapter 41
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
PARIS
My mega pricked ears weren’t sure if they’d heard him correctly.
“What did you say?” I asked, ice in my veins.
His lips curled into a gentle smile. “I think I’m in love with you.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry, but I had to tell you.”
My tongue was tied into knots, nerves dragged over hot coals, I swallowed a ball of barbed confusion.
What the hell? He didn’t just say that, did he? The vampire king didn’t just declare his love to me? No. How absurd. He’d got himself confused by the things we’d done, by that kiss just now.
Stupid me. I should keep my lips to myself.
This thing between us was undeniably a form of attraction, as I’d come to accept. But not love. That was over in the realm of impossibility, not here in this palace or anywhere in this lifetime.
I wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t, and I didn’t feel the same, even if it kind of burned me to deny it.
No. No love here, only attraction. They weren’t the same things. Loving anyone, let alone the vampire king, wasn’t in the cards.
Right?
“I ache for you,” he whispered, forehead still glued to mine.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Oh. Shit.
“I…” What could I say? Go shake it off because this wasn’t real? What right did I have to tell him how he felt?
At the same time, he didn’t love me. He couldn’t. We were just two souls tangled up in the complications of forced proximity. Nothing more. There wasn’t any lovey-dovey endgame for us, and I didn’t want there to be.
Right?
Fuck. I should pull away from him, end this spell of heavy breathing, of heat pooling in my belly, of an unwelcome rush of excitement in every fiber of my being.
“Say something,” he purred, his breath a soft cloud on my lips.
I shuddered, thinking of Declan now imprisoned below, of those executioners lost in the maze of this palace. And I thought of me and how I’d lost myself.
Finding comfort in a vampire? Admitting an attraction and even trying to reckon myself with it?
Damn. The mess in my head got worse, splattering those bony walls.
His warmth didn’t help, its blanket of sanctuary luring me deeper, waking up voices that shouldn’t exist.
“Silvanus,” I returned. “I… I…”
His fingers drew soft circles on my scalp.
Don’t do that.
Please don’t do that.
It felt so, so good.
Riddled with contrasting emotions, feeling like I’d strung the guy along, I stepped back.
Cold rushed in between us, my heart lurched with regret.
He’d just seen the truth of what happened to his realm, seen his journey into this one, and heard his sister’s name.
He didn’t need another gut punch to the soul.
But I had to cut this cord. Love could go fuck itself. I didn’t want to hurt Silvanus, but this needed to be stopped immediately.
Does it, though?
Shaking off the doubt, I offered him the weakest of smiles. “I’m…”
Damn the sparkle in his peepers. Damn the hopeful glow on his incredibly handsome face. Why did he have to look so happy?
Him and I? Just us two?
I steeled myself against my thoughts. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel the same.” Every word left a toxic aftershock on my tongue. But I carried on anyway. “This isn’t love. This is…too much.”
The sparkles died in his eyes, the euphoric sheen gone. He slanted his head, blinking a few times as if to clear something. But he didn’t speak, only regarded me with a cold gaze.
Like the old Silvanus would, the one I’d first met in that club bathroom.
Bollocks. “I care about you,” I said honestly. “I’m attracted to you, and I want to…” Ugh. I didn’t know what to add other than, “I just don’t love you back. I’m sorry. And don’t pin your affections on me. I’m not worth it. It’ll only lead to—”
He left the room in a blur of speed, the shock killing my words.
Colder, colder, colder. The air felt like it had been sucked from my lungs, my heart crushed by an iron fist.
What have I done?
“Been honest,” I responded to my inner voice. “Spared us both.”
From what?
I collapsed to my knees, the soft carpet swallowing the impact.
Here came the waterworks again, silently streaming down my face. Why did I have to do that to him? Why couldn’t I sugar coat it somehow, or even save it for later? I’d only added to his pain, and the regret came at me in sour waves.
I should go after him, apologize.
For what? For not wanting him? Wouldn’t that be worse for both of us?
But what was with this sudden emptiness? Like I’d lost him, like a new tear in the world had dumped a shitload of grief on my head again?
Fuck this.
I got to my feet, braced to go after him. One of those guards might help me if I spun some bullshit their way.
Yeah, right. They hated me. This palace was rich with hate and death and sorrow.
I have to leave…
Wiping my eyes, I went to the balcony. A bit of ocean air and the sound of the waves would help. I had a lot to untangle here, especially those words about a melody of blood. Man, where to even begin working that one out?
Hey, answers! You in there?
The waterborne frostbrood shot my thinking to pieces. Lurking close to the island, its icy streak spread across the waves for half a mile, gently swishing back and forth.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, leaning over the balcony.
Was it waiting for something?
Two orbs of gold shone in the water. Its eyes? Frostbrood had white eyes, not golden ones.
Dread said hello again.
“Oh, shit.”
A chuckle sounded behind me.
I spun, crystal dagger manifesting in response.
“Well, hello.” Aidan gave me a wave, standing between the billowing drapes. “Nice to see you again.”
“What’s your game now?”
The ground rumbled as if in response.
Shit. He had the frostbrood on side. He’d… Oh, fuck.
“You’ll see. But first, let me share my discovery with you.”
Yeah, I didn’t like the sound of that. “What discovery?”
He cleared his throat as the ground trembled again.
“Caer might be able to keep me out of your special mental pocket, but it doesn’t stop me seeing things whenever you sing that pretty song.
Or from tracking you.” He tapped the side of his head.
“Obviously, I don’t need my memories repaired, but I’ve gained some insight.
Just a sprinkle, anyway.” He clasped his hands together theatrically.
“When two hearts sing, so the melody of blood begins with undying. The curse will awaken the song of true love, yet also undo it. The walls will crumble, love exposed, and the blessed blade will make the cut of hope. Darkness will be purged from the world, the lovers expelled into doom. And the world will be free of the shadows.”
“What…what does that mean?” I tugged on my collar, flustered by the words.
They weren’t…what the… huh?
His grin curdled my insides. “The presence inside you is a curse. I can’t see the full context, but I heard the words clearer than you did.” He tutted. “Caer’s not doing too well, is she? Poor thing. She’s failing her special elf by missing this.”
My temples throbbed, those damn words spinning, spinning, spinning.
“You…how did you see anything?”
He huffed. “We’re connected, remember?”
“But—”
“You’re welcome for the insight,” he added.
I grabbed the balcony before I keeled over. “I don’t understand.”
Oh, man. I was going to pass out. Cursed? Someone cursed me to do what? I couldn’t put the pieces together.
I glanced down at the blade, sparkling in my hand. “Do you know what this is?”
He laughed. Pain seared in my skull, the world unsteady around me.
“Don’t fucking laugh at me!” I roared.
More laughter. “Temper, temper.” He waggled a finger, splintering my patience.
The ground quaked harder, a roar shaking the palace’s foundations.
“Caer?” I said. “Caer.” I started to sing.
“Blood melody,” Aidan stopped me. “A joining of hearts. True love to be undone. The Knife of Fractured Rapture is a lost relic, an ancient fable of doomed love.”
“Fable?”
“Yes. Passed down amongst certain generations of mer. Nothing more than a story, one that isn’t very popular.” He bared his teeth in a grin.
“I don’t—”
“It isn’t just a myth, but a true story of cursed lovers, the dagger a cruel weapon forged to take revenge on a traitorous lover. I won’t explain the full details of the tale now.” A mighty chortle thundered from his mouth. “But I think this means you were always destined to kill the vampire king.”
My headache brought me down with slam after slam of agony, my heart about to rip out of my chest. “I don’t…I don’t understand.”
Aidan groaned with exasperation. “Someone has cursed you to find your true love and kill them. In doing so, they’ve made you their puppet, unkillable.
That’s why the blade doesn’t harm Silvanus yet, meaning he’s probably safe for now, too, and that your weapon won’t hurt him until you embrace your feelings.
Then goodbye to both of you.” He shrugged.
“Whatever their reasons, they either hate both of you or one of you. And it means you’re going to have to murder Silvanus soon, or I’ll have to figure out how to break this curse. ”
No way. Just no fucking way. I couldn’t wrestle with this, the revelation an endless smackdown.
Cursed to kill my true love? Silvanus? By whom? Why? It didn’t make sense.
I don’t love him…
Nausea grabbed me in a vicious whirlwind. I fell forward on all fours, retching.
Silvanus is my true love…
He couldn’t be. He shouldn’t be.
But he just declared his—
“No,” I rasped before retching again.
This story couldn’t be real.
Caer. I had to speak with Caer. Maybe she’d heard these words, too.
I vomited over the balcony floor, too dizzy, too consumed by this shit to do much else. How could I think? How could I get to my feet with the constant slam, slam, slam inside my head?
Silvanus…
“Seems silly, doesn’t it?” Aidan said. “A convoluted attempt at revenge. I suppose it’s an easier way of killing the king.”
This fable. I had to hear it, read it, understand it.
Jon. The mer guy. Could I find out more about him from the other executioners? See if I could find anyone else in his close circle who might know more?
And what about the mermaid back in Oreflame City? What about the guy who blew dust in my eyes?
Oh, man. This wasn’t happening. This was a game, a means to mess with me.
“What—”
Aidan shot me in the head before I could say anything else.
Ugh. Typical.