Chapter 3
I re-entered the living room with two glasses of scotch and handed one to James.
“Thank you, love,” he said, accepting it from his perch on the couch.
I scanned the suspiciously quiet space. “Where’s Carlos?”
“The Hellhound is outside, playing in a pile of leaves and refusing to come in. I thought it best to leave him to it.”
I gave him a flat look. He hadn’t even tried to let him in. “He knows you’re scared of him, you know.”
“I’m not scared!” He paused, a thoughtful look on his face. “And good.”
I settled onto the couch next to my vampire. “I’ll leave him for now. As long as he’s quiet.”
My hand found his thigh and he twisted our fingers together. With the other I gripped onto my drink like a lifeline. I could hope all I wanted that he couldn’t sense my nerves, but I knew better. Next to me, James scrubbed his free hand over his face, floundering for words that didn’t come .
“Just start talking,” I finally said, exasperated. “You’re making me nervous.”
He gave me a soft smile. “You’ve been nervous since the day we met.”
“A fact I hid from nearly everyone else for thirty-some years. Sometimes I hate that you know me so well.” I took a sip, the alcohol burning through my system and grounding me. Slightly. “Now spill.”
With a sigh, James brushed the back of his hand along my shirt, right where my birthmark sat. “I need you to promise me something first.”
“I don’t like the sound of that.” If I squeezed my glass any harder, I was sure it would shatter in my hand.
“I knew you wouldn’t. And this might be a hard ask, but I have to at least try.”
“Um. Okay.”
“Don’t run.” He picked his eyes up to meet mine. “I know you’ll want to, but I need you to hear me out. I need you to talk this through with me.”
“I’ll try.” It was all I could promise in the moment.
“I need to explain this, don’t I?”
“Before that, you need to stop poking my ribs because I’m ticklish and if you keep at it, I can’t be responsible for any injuries you might sustain.”
He smiled and pulled his hand away. Wordlessly, he turned on the couch, brushing his hair back along his neckline. At first, I didn’t see anything on the skin he exposed, but he shifted and the light changed, and there it was.
A scar I’d never noticed. Small and pink, maybe the size of a quarter, and perfectly round—almost. There was a clear crescent shape missing from it. A space where something all-too-familiar would fit like a glove.
“Why have I never seen that b efore?”
James settled back into the couch. “You’ve spent the last year up close and personal with every other part of my body, love.”
“Test me on any of it. I’ll pass with flying colors.”
He laughed, and the sound warmed me more than any buzz ever could.
So I ventured, “What is it about that scar?”
“It’s more than a scar. And this,” —he feathered a touch over the splotch on my ribs again— “is more than a birthmark.”
I swallowed against a suddenly dry mouth. “What is it?”
“With some supernatural beings—vampires and werewolves, mostly?—”
“ Werewolves ?”
He gave me an amused smile. “There are so many more species coexisting than you realize.”
“You think I’d be less surprised.”
“With some species, fate decides who we’re destined to be with.”
My heart pounded against my ribs. “How does that work?”
“No one really knows. It’s decided by someone—some thing —that’s much bigger than you or I.”
I squirmed. My body itched, my muscles spasming. It felt like something sat on my chest. That familiar urge to bolt crept up my spine, but I had promised I’d at least try to fight it. “Where are you going with this, James?”
The tension in the air was thick and heavy. With each passing second it became harder to breathe.
“Ryder, we…” He sighed. “When Luke said you were my mate, he meant it literally. We’re bound together by fate.”
I sat forward, setting my drink on the table before I spilled it. I adjusted myself on the couch, turning this way and that before hopping to my feet.
James’s hand shot out to stop me. “Ryder. Please. ”
“I’m not running.” I wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to convince, but he relaxed. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, taking a step back. “I made you a promise, so this is me trying, but I need to move .”
James pushed his hands through his hair as I began to pace in front of him.
“You’re over three hundred years old,” I said plainly. “Why now? And… what about Liz?”
He nodded, as though he’d been expecting this line of questioning. “I was heartbroken to realize she wasn’t my mate. After a century or two, I resigned myself to the fact that I didn’t have one.”
“I thought you were head over heels for each other.”
“We were.” James’s fond smile was so wholesome, it made the corners of my own mouth tease upward briefly—but the nerves prevailed, and it faded as quickly as it came. “Being in love and being mates are two different things completely,” he continued. “Believe it or not, there are many fated beings who can’t stand the sight of each other. When I realized Liz and I weren’t brought together by destiny, I decided it didn’t matter.”
“So you stopped looking for it.”
“I don’t even know when the mark showed up. It could have been there for years before I noticed it.”
“So you don’t know when it showed up?”
He hesitated, then spread his hands. “I’m guessing it appeared the day you were born. These last few decades, I’ve started to feel a… pull, I suppose you could call it. This sort of itch that I was missing something.”
I stared at him. “That sounds maddening.”
“Fate’s a bitch.”
I was avoiding his gaze, but I could feel James’s eyes on me with each step I took. All he wanted was for me to sit next to him, but I couldn’t. “Did you always know it was me? ”
“Not until I laid eyes on you for the first time.”
“When I showed up at Liz’s for my interview.”
His mouth curled into a genuine smile. “It was like something finally clicked into place, like inserting the last piece of a puzzle.”
Looking back on it then, he was right. When I’d stepped into Liz’s that day, James caught my attention right away. I’d always fallen out with people just as quickly as I’d fallen for them. But James was the first one I ever wanted to keep. I’d locked onto every detail of him, committed it to memory.
“You felt it too.”
I nodded in confirmation. “I thought it was just because I found you attractive. Did you ever plan on telling me?”
“Of course I did. I thought about it the night you…” He eyed Hannah’s bedroom door, where our guests were sleeping. “The night you found out about me, but I didn’t think it was the right time. Then the hunters showed up and plans got derailed. I never expected Luke to pick up on it.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me the first time I asked?”
“You weren’t ready. You needed time after the fire to process everything. You said so yourself.”
“Don’t throw my own words back at me.” I was getting defensive now. I spent the better part of a year trying to prove to Erin that they didn’t know me as well as she thought she did. I was an adult, damn it. I was more than capable of making decisions for myself.
“That’s not what I’m doing and you know it.” James pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few seconds to collect his thoughts before he spoke again. “I know this isn’t easy for you to hear, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help you through it.”
I’d promised him I’d try, and I hoped he saw how hard I truly was. I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing and replaying my own words in my head. But the fear was winning out. “I need to be alone.”
Opening my eyes, I stared at a darkened spot on the carpet. Anything to keep from seeing the hurt in his eyes.
“Ryder, you?—”
“I’m not running,” I repeated—and I meant it, “but I need some space. You can’t expect me to just accept all of this and move on.”
“Of course.” He stood, which made me look at him. “I suppose that would have been wishful thinking.”
James approached me cautiously, like a baby deer that would bolt if he made any sudden movements. I didn’t intend to flinch when James brushed the hair out of my face, but I did. And I didn’t miss the way he stiffened in response.
“I just need time,” I whispered, so softly I hardly heard myself.
“I know.” He matched my tone, tucking that stray piece of hair behind my ear.
I turned to face him, inadvertently leaning into his touch. It was like my body could sense what my head refused to. He glanced at my mouth, and I knew what he was waiting for: a kiss. Though he wouldn’t force me and would never outright ask for it, those chocolate eyes met mine with the faintest hint of red, and I wondered if I wore my emotions on my face the way he wore his in his eyes.
I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips softly to his. It was quick, less than a second, but the tension in the air eased slightly.
“We have lunch with Shiloh tomorrow,” he reminded me.
“I know. I’ll be there—I promise.”
His “okay” was almost inaudible. I remained frozen in place as he moved for the front door. I heard it open and close, then silence.
I was left alone with my worst fear: my own thoughts.
My scotch sat on the table, almost untouched. My stomach was churning too violently to risk drinking it. I grabbed both glasses and took them to the kitchen, dumping the contents down the sink and rinsing them out. I had a dishwasher, but I was desperate for something to do. Carlos was still out back, playing in the leaves. It was too dark to see him, but I could hear the happy yelps and crunching as he bounded back and forth between the piles. I knew I wasn’t alone in the house, but that didn’t stop it from being too quiet.
Fuck. I missed him already. The conversation replayed over and over in my head.
Mates , bound together by fate.
Destined to be together.
Where the hell was I supposed to go from here?
Feeling lost, I wandered back to the couch and put on one of my mind-numbing reality TV shows. The only time I moved was to close the back door once Carlos decided to grace me with his presence. As if he could sense my unease, he curled up on the couch beside me instead of on his blanket. I could have gone to bed—I should have, but I didn’t. Put off by the idea of sleeping alone, I stayed right where I was. One episode played into another, the night slowly creeping by.
I must’ve dozed off at one point because I blinked and the sun was streaming through the windows. The TV silently judged me, asking if I was still watching my show. Carlos was gone, but it didn’t take long to figure out that he was begging for scraps in the kitchen.
I sat up, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes. Footsteps approached, and when I looked up again, a cup of coffee sat on the table in front of me. I followed the tattooed arm up, finding Raleigh’s eyes.
He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants. Tattoos covered every inch of his body, and I noticed a new one over his heart—Evie’s name, right next to Angel’s initials. “Thought you might need that,” he said, indicating the steaming mug.
I muttered a thanks. “How’d you sleep?”
“Like a rock. Where’s James?”
“Home, I guess.”
“Uh oh.”
“It’s nothing. What time is it?”
“Ten-ish?” Once I’d had a couple sips of coffee, he asked, “Is there a park around?”
Curious, I crooked a brow. “Yes.”
He glanced toward the bedroom, where I assumed Angel was still asleep. “He’s always losing sleep because of Evie. Why don’t you leash Carlos up and we’ll go for a walk?”
I froze out of reflex, bracing for the chaos that always followed that word. Thankfully, Carlos was happily distracted. “Is there an ulterior motive here?”
“Absolutely.”
“What are the chances of me getting out of it?”
“None whatsoever.”
I sighed. “Can I at least finish my coffee?”
“I’ll allow it.”