Chapter 18
Somewhere around dawn, I dozed off. I only awoke again when I felt the other side of the mattress dip. I had a fleeting moment of panic before James’s hard body slid in beside mine, his strong arm wrapping around my waist and giving me a squeeze. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he whispered, peppering kisses across my bare shoulders. “I was scared, and I overreacted.”
“Me too,” I muttered in return, barely awake enough to remember what the hell we’d been fighting about in the first place. “I don’t know what’s been going on with me lately.”
Another kiss to my neck released more of the tension. “Shiloh’s here?”
“Mmhmm.” I leaned into his lips, craving more of him. Each tender kiss lit up nerve endings beneath my skin.
“Why?”
“We were drunk.” Coming to terms with the fact that I wasn’t going back to sleep, I peeled my eyes open and turned into his chest. “I let them stay over.”
James pressed his lips to my forehead. “You really care about them, don’t you?” I nodded. “I almost got jealous when I heard their heartbeat.”
I snorted. “Jealous? You? Pfft—ah!”
James dug his fingers into my stomach, and I wiggled in a vain attempt to free myself from his grip—his vampiric grip.
“Stop!” I cried through the laughter. “I can’t breathe!”
Reluctantly, James ceased the torture. “Humans are no fun.”
I slid out from beneath him. “I dare you to tell me that next time I have your cock in my mouth.”
That did the trick. I glanced over my shoulder as I sauntered away, and James’s eyes had turned almost predatory.
He was gone when I came out of the bathroom, but the sounds coming from the kitchen told me where he was. Before joining him, I checked on Shi; soft snoring from behind Hannah’s bedroom door confirmed they were still fast asleep. I found James in his usual spot in front of the stove.
“There’ll be plenty for them too,” he said before I could ask. The man was a caregiver through and through.
“They’ll need it.” I fished out a bottle of water and painkillers, then sat at the table. “They weren’t joking when they said they were a lightweight.”
“Two-drink drunk?” James asked, amused.
“Not even—and I watered the second down.” I cracked open my bottle, guzzling half of it before my thirst was quenched. I resorted to picking at the label as I asked James my next question. “Why didn’t you get jealous when you found Shi here?”
“Because nothing happened.”
“How do you know?”
James turned from the stove and brought me a plate of food. “Not only do I trust you, but I would’ve been able to smell them on you.”
“They tried to kiss me,” I confessed, dropping my voice to a whisper in case Shiloh had woken up .
“Tried to?”
I nodded, pushing the eggs around my plate. “I ducked out of it, but I kissed their temple when I put them to bed.”
Considering James had been ready to rip Luke to pieces for simply hitting on me, he was surprisingly calm after I admitted to kissing our co-worker. I wasn’t sure what made me spill everything.
“I’m not upset, love,” he finally said.
“You’re not?”
He sighed. “I don’t know what’s different between Luke and Shiloh, but the more I try to make sense of it, the more I infuriate myself.” He chuckled. “After the other night, I wouldn’t blame you if you had shared a drunken kiss with them.”
“I couldn’t have done that—to either of you. They were too drunk to consent to a trip to Waffle House, much less anything physical.”
“Which means we’re about to have one hell of a hangover on our hands. They’re awake. Brace yourself.”
James returned to the stove to make another plate and slid two pieces of bread in the toaster. I started to eat, hearing the creak from Hannah’s bedroom door. Soft footsteps padded down the hallway before Shi meekly poked their head around the corner.
“There go my chances of escaping unseen,” they lamented, their voice rough and scratchy. “Hi, James.”
“Morning, Shiloh,” he returned, managing to hide his grin by keeping his back turned. I still heard it in his voice. “Sit down. You should eat.”
“I’m okay, really.”
“That wasn’t a suggestion, Shi Baby.” I kicked the chair across from me. “Sit.”
That beautiful pink flush crept under Shi’s collar and swept over their cheeks. They looked between me and James, but relent ed and crossed the room to lower themselves into the chair. James reached over their shoulder to set their food in front of them, while I nudged an extra bottle of water and the Tylenol across the table.
“Are you not eating?” they asked James.
“Already did,” he lied. “You’ve been knocked out for a while.”
Shi groaned, rubbing at their temples. “It wasn’t long enough.”
“Eat,” James repeated. “You’ll feel better.”
Shiloh grabbed the Tylenol, but I stopped them from opening it. “Maybe you should eat first. You’ll want to keep that down.”
“Oh God,” they groaned. “I puked all over you last night, didn’t I?” They dropped the bottle, wincing at the noise and burying their reddened face in their hands.
I stifled a grin. Damn, they were adorable. “You didn’t get it all over me,” I assured them. “I’m too skilled at my job to let that happen.”
James stood in the corner of the kitchen, watching Shiloh with a look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite discern. Shiloh peeked at me through their fingers and I let my mouth quirk up in a way I knew would deepen that blush. The redder their skin got, the more the smattering of freckles across their nose and cheeks stood out.
“Don’t worry, Shiloh,” James finally spoke, a sinister grin curling his lips. “You should have seen Ryder last year when we separated.”
My stomach flipped. “Don’t you dare!”
Amused that he got a rise out of me, James crossed the room, stopping behind my chair and bending to wrap his arms around my shoulders. “Don’t what? Tell Shiloh that we all drown our sorrows in a bottle from time to time? That we all do things we regret? ”
I gulped. “He’s right, Shi.”
Slowly, as if afraid every bite could come back up, they began eating. “You two broke up?”
“For a little while, yeah,” I said, my throat tight. “Sometimes things have to happen for a reason.”
“And what was the reason?”
“It’s complicated,” James and I both said.
Shi’s gaze flitted between us. “That doesn’t make things any clearer.”
We didn’t expand further, and Shi got the hint. We focused on our breakfast. I had no desire to relive those days apart from James. I fucked up when I slept with Luke. I knew I’d hurt James. Worse, I’d led him right into the hunters’ trap. But I couldn’t take it back. The next time I looked up from my plate, I caught James’s eye. He must have sensed my inner turmoil because he gave me a sweet smile and mouthed, “It’s okay.”
His small gesture did more to soothe me than I thought it would, and I turned back to my breakfast. Shiloh’s fork clattered to the plate, making even me flinch. “Oh, fuck. I tried to kiss…” They trailed off, looking from me to James.
“I told him, Shi.”
This time, they paled instead of turning red. “I’m?—”
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.”
“You have a boyfriend. Who’s also my boss. And I tried to kiss you, oh my God.” Shiloh hid behind their hands again. “Why haven’t you fired me yet?”
“Because I don’t want to,” James said. “I don’t blame you, Shiloh. As insufferable as Ryder can be?—”
“Hey!”
“—he is pretty cute.”
“I’ll show you ‘cute,’” I snarled at James.
Shiloh whipped their head around again, too quick for James to come up with something snarky in response. They closed their eyes and grabbed their stomach—were they about to be sick again? After a few deep breaths, they centered themselves and stood, taking their plate to James at the sink. “I think I’m going to get an Uber home. Thank you for breakfast,” they said to James before turning to me. “And thank you for last night. I’m?—”
“Shi,” I warned.
“Grateful,” they finished shyly, pulling their phone from their pocket and dashing from the room.
I started to follow them, but James called me back. “Give them their space,” he said quietly. “Imagine how they feel right now. Besides, we should talk about yesterday.”
I groaned and pushed my half empty plate away. I wasn’t hungry anymore. “Do we have to?”
His response was cut off by a knock at the door. “Are you expecting anyone?”
I shook my head but thankful for the delay in conversation, rose from the table. James swept my plate away as I went to the front door.
“Kian!” I exclaimed, surprised to see him on the front step. I hadn’t expected to see him again so soon. A gust of wind made me shiver. “Come in.”
Kian stepped over the threshold. He looked… tired. His hair was a mess. Dark circles framed red-rimmed eyes; he hadn’t been sleeping. Or he’d been crying. Or both. Whichever it was, I couldn’t blame him. “I um, I was hoping we could talk.”
“Sure.”
I gestured to the couch and Kian sat, Carlos leaping up to curl next to him. Kian’s hand immediately fell into his fur, as if Carlos was a comfort to him.
James appeared in the room, drying his hands on a kitchen towel. “Hi, Kian. Can I get you something to drink?”
I chose to ignore how domestic that felt .
Kian declined, and James turned to leave. “I’ll give you two some privacy.”
“Wait,” Kian called after him. “I’m actually glad you’re here. I was hoping to talk to both of you.”
James looked at me with panicked eyes, asking permission to be there. I shrugged in response. If Kian wanted to talk to both of us, who was I to say no? I settled onto the two-seater, James taking his place next to me after tossing the towel onto the kitchen counter. He was the one to break the silence, looking between me and Kian. I didn’t know how to start, and Kian was busy scratching Carlos behind the ears.
“What’s going on?”
Kian took a deep breath, but he didn’t take his eyes off the dog at his side. “I don’t know if Ryder said, or if you know, but he told me. About you.”
James nodded. “He didn’t want to hide the truth from you, but that meant revealing what I am.”
“Did you know my parents?”
“No, I didn’t. But Kian, I can’t even begin to tell you how truly sorry I am.”
Kian’s jaw clenched. “Everyone’s sorry, but I don’t need any apologies.”
I fidgeted with my hands in my lap, unsure where I fit into all of this. “What do you need from us?”
He sighed, dropping his head into his free hand. His voice cracked when he spoke. “I don’t know. I need to figure something out though, because feeling like this is driving me up a wall.”
James squeezed my thigh. I let my hand find his, finding solace in weaving our fingers together. “Would it help if you knew more about me?” he asked Kian.
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“What do you want to know? ”
“Do you sparkle?”
I fought to keep a straight face. James, however, grunted. “You’re going through a rough time, so I’ll forgive you for that one.”
After a pause, Kian gestured between the two of us. “How does this work?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Well, when two people really like each other…”
“Ew! Gross! Not what I meant!” He scrubbed a hand over his face as if he could erase the mental image. “I deserved that.”
“Yes, you did,” James agreed. “Now, what do you mean by that?”
“V-vampires have super strength, right? So how do you keep from hurting Ryder?”
James fished the chain around his neck out from his sweater, holding it up with his thumb. “Because of this.”
“Silver?” Kian guessed. “I thought that was werewolves.”
“Pure silver dulls my powers, but there’s not enough in this one to hurt me. Can’t say the same thing for the wolves though: any amount is too much for them.”
Kian looked at the jewelry for a moment, then shook his head. “I’m confused. If it dulls your powers, why wear it?”
James tucked the chain away again. “Think of it like… Adderall for vampires. Too much of it can kill me, but the right purity keeps my powers in check. Does that help?”
Kian nodded.
“What else?”
He was quiet for several long moments, stroking Carlos’s fur. “Did my brother— Luke —say anything to you before he left? Did you see anything?”
“Sorry, but I didn’t arrive until after he was gone. He likely booked it out of there before the fi re started.”
Kian bit his quivering lip. “I don’t know where to go from here.”
James knelt in front of Kian. In that moment, Kian wasn’t a twenty-one-year-old man; he was a lost, scared little boy who didn’t know which way to go. His parents were dead and his brother was missing. Did he even consider Luke a brother anymore? There was so much to unpack, and he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know where to start.
Kian hugged Carlos close, letting James rub his back while he fought against the tears threatening to fall. My heart squeezed—not just because I felt for Kian, but because in spite of everything, James sat there and soothed him. My man was so compassionate that it made my heart ache. It was yet another reason I loved him.
My stomach lurched.
Fuck .
Sitting there, watching him soothe the brother of the guy who tried to kill him, it finally hit me. Outside of the mate bond, I’d been distraught over everything .
Because I was in love.