Chapter 20
Getting Carlos into the car meant perfectly timing the cycles of screams. Whatever these spells were, each one that hit broke my heart. I wrangled him into the backseat with his blanket, and the cycle continued for the entire half hour drive to the emergency vet. I tried to comfort him, only to be nipped at every time. After the third bite where he nearly broke the skin, I turned my attention to James. The yelps were hurting my ears, so they must have been torture for him. However, he relaxed—at least a little bit—when I put my hand on his thigh.
By the time I got Carlos inside the vet’s office and we were taken to the back where I could set him down, my arms felt like noodles. James and I flinched every time Carlos screamed again, and when he whimpered in between episodes I consoled him as much as possible.
I’d never had pets growing up, nor when I moved out on my own. Not only did my studio apartments disallow them, but I spent so much time working that I didn’t have time. The fear I felt in that moment, knowing that something was wrong and I couldn ’t fix it, made me appreciate that I’d never had to lose a pet either.
“Calm down, love,” James said, rising from his chair in the corner of the room to stand behind me. “Nothing’s going to happen to him.”
I laid my head on his shoulder. “I thought you said you weren’t a mind reader.”
“I can feel how stressed you are. And I’d like to think I know how your brain works by now.”
“Fuck, I need to call Hannah,” I realized, jerking back and fumbling for my phone.
“Not yet.” James pulled me close again, pinning my arms to where I couldn’t reach into my pockets. “It’s four in the morning. There’s no sense in worrying her until we know what’s going on.”
It wasn’t much longer before someone came in. They looked Carlos over, giving him a shot that was supposed to relax him. The tech did the same thing I did, feeling over his back, belly, and each leg—and dodged the same warning bite when they reached his paw. Good thing whatever they’d given Carlos slowed his reflexes. Another technician came in to pick him up, and my panic resumed when he was whisked away for tests.
“Let me go,” I whispered to James, who had kept a tight grip on me even after the door was shut.
“Where?”
“Nowhere. I just need to move.”
To my relief, he took a step back and let me pace the length of the small room. It felt like forever before the door opened and the same person from before led a very sleepy Carlos back into the room on his leash. While he nursed his back leg, he was at least putting weight on it, which he hadn’t been doing before.
“Good news, Dad,” the vet said. “He’s going to be fine. They’re mus cle spasms.”
“Muscle spasms?” I echoed. “How does that even happen?”
She knelt down next to Carlos, getting his tail wagging by scratching him behind the ear. “They’re common in high-energy breeds like Huskies, and exacerbated by overexertion.” She straightened and pulled a pill bottle from her pocket. “The sedative we gave him should keep him comfortable for a while, but if the pain gets too bad you can give him half of one of these with his food. He should rest for the next few days.”
“That’ll be easy,” I said sarcastically.
She laughed. “Animals are smarter than you think. He should mostly take care of the recovery himself, but you can always call us if there’s anything you’re concerned about.”
It wasn’t until we got Carlos home and settled that the adrenaline started to fade from my body. The sun was starting to rise, and I knew Hannah would be getting up for class soon. I sat on the empty two-seater and scrubbed my hands over my face, only peeking between my fingers when the smell of coffee wafted in front of me. I looked up to see James setting a cup on the table.
“Thank you,” I muttered, feeling for my phone. “I should call Hannah.”
“You should go back to bed.” James spoke softly as he walked back to the kitchen. He hadn’t intended for me to hear him.
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I called after him. “You know how I feel about that.”
“I’m not telling you what to do. It’s not like you listen to me anyway.”
“I’m a grown man and I don’t need my boyfriend babysitting me all the time.”
“Ryder, calm down.”
“ Don’t tell me to calm down. ”
James sighed, and then he was next to me, crouching with a hand on my back. “I told you Carlos would be fine.”
“I don’t know why; you don’t even like him.” I was glad James couldn’t see my face, because I flinched at my own words. I regretted them instantly, but instead of apologizing and making it up to him, my stubborn ass stood my ground.
“That’s unfair but you’re exhausted and stressed so I’ll let you have it. Do you feel better?”
“No,” I admitted honestly. I felt like shit, but I couldn’t manage to climb out of the hole I’d dug.
“Then let me get you to bed.”
“I don’t want to go to bed!” I took a deep breath, slightly taming my temper. “I want to call my daughter. And then I think I want to be alone with Carlos for a while.”
“Are you sure?” James was pretty good at schooling his emotions, but that didn’t stop me from knowing that I was hurting him. Again.
“Yeah,” I said, fighting to keep the emotion from my own voice. “I’m sure.”
“Okay, I’ll go.” His hand disappeared from my back as he stood. “You don’t need to worry about coming into work today. I’ll cover it, but you can call if you need me.”
I stayed in the same position until I heard the front door shut. When I looked up, my phone was sitting on the table next to my untouched cup of coffee that was doctored up the way I liked it. I’m such an asshole .
I grabbed my phone and opened my contact list. James’s name was the first on my list, right above Hannah’s. My thumb hovered over it.
Instead of breaking down like I truly wanted to, I moved my thumb and tapped Hannah’s name.
She picked up on the first ring. “What ’s wrong?”
I snorted. “I’d ask if I woke you, but something tells me I didn’t.”
“I have class in an hour—unless I need to drive home instead. Now I’ll ask again: what’s wrong?”
I groaned and brushed my hair back, but my fingers caught on a few knots and only fueled my frustration. “Um, Carlos is fine, but we spent the night at the vet.”
“I’m on my way.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but the call dropped.
Given the fact that it was rush hour, I wasn’t expecting Hannah for a while. A record-breaking forty minutes later, the front door burst open and Hannah charged into the living room. I poked my head out of the kitchen where I’d disposed of my empty mug after finally drinking my coffee. It had been the perfect cup, which only made me feel worse about lashing out at James.
Carlos wagged his tail, but he was still too high to be his usual self. Hannah dropped her bag at her feet and fell to her knees in front of Carlos, accepting the lazy kisses to her face while she spoke to him in a hushed voice.
“Do I want to know how fast you drove?” I asked, returning to my spot.
“Are you asking as a parent?”
“Yes.”
“Then five under the speed limit. What happened to him?”
“He has muscle spasms in his back left foot. He woke us up in the middle of the night screaming, and he wouldn’t stop.”
Hannah shifted onto the floor. “How much was the vet bill?”
“Don’t worry about it, Hannah. He’s my dog too.”
Only then did she pull her attention from Carlos to look back at me, studying my face longer than I was comfortable with. Damn it, she and Erin were a little too good at reading me like a book. “What aren’t you telling me? ”
“It’s nothing to do with Carlos. They sedated him and sent muscle relaxers home with us in case the pain gets to be too much for him. He’ll be okay.”
Carlos laid his head down, trapping Hannah’s hand between his chin and the couch cushion. “Then what’s going on?”
“Nothing you need to worry about.” My walls were rising again, my defenses slowly clicking back into place. Not only was Hannah my daughter, but I didn’t necessarily want to talk about the fight with James.
When I was met with silence, I glanced up to see that classic Erin glare. Cold, blue eyes met mine and I gulped.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I told her.
“Why? Because it works?”
I laughed. “God, you are your mother made over.”
“Don’t deflect, Ryder. I might be your kid but I’m an adult. Just spare me any dirty details.”
I groaned, putting my head in my hands again. “I can’t stand you, child.”
“Okay, I made you laugh now tell me what’s happening.”
She already knew that James was a vampire—that should have been the hard part. But as the “soulmate” conversation flashed through my mind, I somehow found that even more difficult to tell her. I opened my mouth to start, but, “You want a drink?” came out instead, and I shot to my feet.
“I can make my own coffee.”
I thought she’d continue to demand answers, but she merely headed into the kitchen. Taking a bottle of water for myself, I returned to the couch and waited for her to finish. I wanted something stronger. But it was barely eight in the morning, and I wasn’t going to let myself fall down that rabbit hole again.
The couch sank when Hannah settled into the seat next to me .
“This seems serious.” Her eyes widened. “Did you and James break up?”
“No,” I assured her, “we didn’t break up.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Of course not.” But I thought about my answer. Had he hurt me? No, no he hadn’t. I’d been the asshole in every argument we’d had.
“Then what’s the problem?” After a pause, “Is this vampire-related?”
I resisted letting out a sigh of relief. Maybe there was something in letting those close to me in on the secret. “There’s… a thing with vampires. Long story short, it’s getting serious.”
“And you’re scared shitless.”
“Watch your mouth!”
“My language isn’t the problem here.”
I laughed. “Are you sure you need a Harvard education? You’re already too smart.”
“Does he know?” Hannah asked, ignoring my attempt to redirect the conversation.
“Know what?”
“How you feel about getting serious.”
“Don’t you have something to be studying for?”
“I turned in my assignments yesterday. I’m not missing anything important, and you’re not getting out of this conversation.”
I tried to muster my own scowl, but she outglared me. “Fine,” I relented. “Yes, he knows. But it’s still hard.”
“You mean new and scary.”
“Hannah!” I laughed. The kid was calling me out like no one had—even Raleigh hadn’t been this persistent.
“You’re only annoyed because you know I’m right.”
I sighed. “I’m not about to admit to that, but things have been w eird lately. It’s like I can’t even focus on things happening with James because the universe has it out for me.”
“When was the last time you got away from work for a while?”
“James makes me take days off,” I said evasively.
“Not a day off. A vacation.”
“I can’t take a vacation right now.”
“Why not? I can stay here and take care of Carlos.”
“I have work.”
“I know you don’t go to Harvard, but do I need to pull up the definition of ‘vacation’ for you?” Hannah scoffed. “Something tells me your vampire boss-slash-boyfriend will understand.”
I had to admit that the prospect of getting out of town for a couple days sounded appealing. Carlos snuffled on the other couch, and Hannah followed my line of sight. “I’ve got him. I promise. Besides, you don’t have to go very far.” She gestured around the house. “Just get out of all this for a little while.”
Losing the energy to argue further, I stood. “You’re right.”
“I know.”
I went to my bedroom, ignoring the evil laughter that trailed behind me.