Chapter 10
When James said he was taking Shiloh home, I didn’t think he meant our home. So imagine my surprise when I saw his car in our driveway. Not that Shi’s presence bothered me, of course, but the sight that met me when I walked into the house blew me away… and left me a bit confused.
Every blanket and pillow that we owned had been dragged into the living room. They were piled on the floor in front of the TV, and James sat with Shiloh’s head in his lap. Shiloh had changed their clothes, and nothing they wore belonged to them: the shirt was mine, and the pants were James’s.
I tried to tamp down the flush of desire at seeing Shi in our clothes, but my mouth practically watered at the sight. On the couch, Carlos gnawed on a bone contentedly, only bothering to look up at me to make sure I wouldn’t take it away.
“He had a weapon!” Shi defended, gazing up at me from James’s lap.
“It was the only way James would come in the house, wasn’t it?”
Shi snickered and, try as he might, James couldn’t achieve a glare at them. It felt good to hear them laugh after seeing them cry.
“What’s going on here?” I asked.
“Have you never built a pillow fort before?” James teased.
“Yeah, when I was ten.”
“I didn’t want to sleep alone,” Shi said bashfully, “and James said you’re a bed hog.”
“I am not! But count me in.” Because I damn sure wasn’t going to miss out on the attention, I chose a spot close to Shi. “Have you two eaten?”
“Not yet,” Shi said. “We were waiting for you, and now I think my stomach is trying to digest itself.”
James laughed and wiggled out from beneath their head. They grumbled, but seeing as James couldn’t bring them their food while they were on top of him, they allowed it—and promptly curled up in my lap instead. My hand fell to their hair; apparently sober-Shi loved it as much as drunk-Shi did.
“Want to talk?” I asked, twisting a curl around my finger.
Shi pressed their lips together, eyes glossing over in the faint light of the TV.
For a moment, I thought they weren’t going to tell me.
Then they blurted it out in one swoop. “Michael started dating my high school bully. Whatever, I could deal with that if she makes him happy. But he brought her home for our Christmas in Houston.”
“I’m assuming your family didn’t know how she treated you?”
They shook their head. “I never said anything to anyone, and after I saw how happy Michael was, I couldn’t bring myself to tell them even now. He never lets himself be happy. Then, she…” Shi cleared their throat, finding a loose thread on their borrowed t-shirt to play with. “She dead-named me.”
My heart cracked in two. “Shi—”
“It was an accident. I know that.”
“That doesn’t make it okay.” I combed through their hair, and they leaned into the touch. “What happened after that?”
“She didn’t like being corrected. It caused a big argument between her and Michael, and that was before my parents jumped in—which was exactly what I didn’t want to happen.
I slipped out in the middle of the night.
I didn’t realize Michael had followed me, and by the time he caught up to me, I guess I was too drunk to see straight.
He told me he dumped her, but that only made me feel worse.
” Poor Shi Baby. They felt so strongly, they’d probably drunk themself into a stupor to escape.
I shuddered at how close they’d come to dying that night. “Where’s your brother now?”
“On his way back to Texas,” they sighed. “He came by the bar and apologized first. We’re good now, but it was just…”
“A lot of emotions at once,” I finished for them. I knew the feeling all too well after meeting Hannah. “I get it. I’m sorry, Shiloh.”
They said “thanks” so quietly that I almost missed it and brushed the tears from their eyes. “And thank you for letting me stay here. James assured me you wouldn’t have a problem with it.”
“He was right. You know you’re welcome here any time.”
James re-entered the room with a plate in each hand, saving Shiloh from more uncomfortable conversation.
Once we’d eaten, Shi reclaimed their place spreading over the both of us, legs on me and their head in James’s lap.
Heart racing, I shifted closer to James, trying not to disturb Shi as they fell quiet.
My hand fell to their thigh, rubbing soothing shapes into the skin, and it seemed to be just what they needed to drift off to sleep.
Damn it. Just when I’d adjusted to sharing my heart with one person, someone else worked their way right in there.
Before I could spiral, James leaned over and brushed his lips over the cleft of my ear. “Don’t overthink it, love. I’ve been doing that enough for the both of us. Especially after the other night.”
“We’ve run out of time to put off talking about it, haven’t we?”
“I think so, but I’m their boss, Ryder. This is inappropriate.”
“Then that makes what we did highly inappropriate, don’t you think?” I teased.
James, however, didn’t find it very funny. His smile faded, and he watched the sleeping person between us. “I don’t even know if they want me that way.”
“They do,” Shi murmured. “And they don’t appreciate being talked about like they aren’t in the room.”
James and I shared a look of embarrassment. “Sorry, Shi. We thought you were sleeping.”
“I almost was. Why don’t you two change into pajamas and join me?”
Shi sat up, rotating so they could lie between us.
When James and I shared another glance but made no move to leave, they rose onto their elbows.
“I don’t understand the feelings between us either, but right now, I don’t want to.
I’ve had a terrible few days, and I just want some sleep.
So, please, can we stress about it tomorrow? ”
With the last word, they turned puppy eyes on us.
James squeezed his eyes shut in response, a sure sign of his resolve wavering.
After all, Shi was watching now. He had to be careful.
And if he opened them now, I’d be willing to bet there would be red swirling in the brown.
“What the hell am I going to do with two of you?” he grumbled, pulling himself from the mess of blankets and following me to the bedroom.
As we brushed our teeth, his hand flirted with my hip.
“What is it, vampire?” I rinsed my mouth and rested against the counter while he did the same.
“Do you think they’re really sure about this? About us?”
“They’ve never been afraid to ask for their space, and I don’t think they’d start now. They wouldn’t be in our house if they didn’t want to be.”
With a deep inhale through his nose—out of nerves, not necessity—James dropped his toothbrush into the holder and flipped the light off. “Okay.”
We returned to the living room where Shi was nestled in the middle of the pillows, looking like nothing so much as a bird snuggled in its nest. As we each chose a side, Shi offered us a smile. They shuffled around, bringing themself closer to James, who stiffened in response.
“Relax, vampire,” I mouthed at him.
He did, but only slightly.
I lay on my back, and James did the same. Shi was on their stomach between us, arms crossed under their pillow. They faced me, but I noticed when one of their hands stretched toward James, and a leg came my way.
“No insomniatic stressing,” they reiterated, opening their eyes long enough to glance between the two of us. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Is that clear?”
“Crystal,” James and I agreed.
Unsurprisingly, Shiloh dozed off first. My own eyes grew heavy, but I resisted the urge to fall asleep. James still stared down at Shi and—even without the bond—I could read the emotions on his face like a book.
We were in deep.
I woke up alone the next morning, but it didn’t take me long to figure out where James and Shiloh had gone.
Soft country music filtering in from the kitchen revealed James’s location, and the squealing of the pipes in our walls meant Shi was in the shower.
As I sat up, I marveled at the fact that I didn’t ache from sleeping on the floor.
Vampire. James must have kissed away my soreness before I woke up.
Smiling, I pulled myself from the blanket nest and washed up in Hannah’s bathroom, and by the time I emerged both Shi and James were waiting for me at the kitchen table. I sauntered up to James to press a kiss to his lips.
“Morning, love,” he said.
“Morning.” Sensing their eyes on us, I glanced across the table at Shi.
I wasn’t sure what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t for them to blurt out, “I’m not moving in.”
“Okay,” I laughed, accepting the coffee James handed me. “Straight to the point.”
“Might as well rip off the band-aid,” Shi responded. “I know I was all over you two last night, but my own space is important to me.”
James reached out to curl a hand around my thigh as I took the seat next to him. “What do you expect from us, Shiloh?”
They blew out a breath. “I don’t know. I never expected any of this, much less that I’d have the balls to act on it. James is my boss.” Brushing damp curls out of their face, they turned to me. “And you’re my boss’s fiancé. Christ, this is complicated.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” I offered. “That’s why we’re talking about it.”
James jumped in. “We know this is a tricky situation, but I can promise you that your job is safe. I’ll adjust your contract to say as much. Whatever happens between the three of us will not put your job at risk.”
“Thank you,” they said.
I played with James’s hair at the back of his neck, thumb brushing the mark hidden in his hairline. Some of his tension visibly melted away at my touch.
Sipping their coffee, Shiloh watched us from across the table. They studied the way James leaned into my palm. Their hands tightened around their mug as if they were resisting the urge to join in.
“We’ll respect your space, Shi,” I said. “But I think I speak for both of us when I say that you can initiate contact any time you want to.”
James stiffened, but he was easily assuaged as I brushed our mate mark again.
Shi’s gaze flicked to his. “Are you okay?”
James tossed a banal smile in my direction, and I suddenly realized what that spike of panic had been about: Luke.
Neither of us quite understood the difference between Luke and Shiloh. On the surface, there were plenty—outside of the fact that Luke had nearly killed us. The corners of my mouth quirked into a grin, and I did what I did best: I played it off with a joke. “James isn’t accustomed to sharing—ow!”
He’d elbowed me in the ribs.
But there was one major difference: We both wanted Shiloh.
When I’d slept with Luke, I was hurt and angry, desperately searching for some way to soothe the raging emotions I felt over my first heartbreak in a long time.
That wasn’t the case with Shi. It was true that I’d felt the pull before James, but when I’d admitted to kissing their cheek and he hadn’t so much as flinched, I realized he felt the same way.
Shiloh wasn’t a replacement, they were an addition to our relationship.
“Neither am I,” Shi said, spinning their mug in their hands. “The only thing I am sure of is that I want open communication. This isn’t going to work if we’re hiding things from each other. Got it?”
“Of course,” James agreed, and I nodded.
“Good.” Shi took a deep breath, an awkward silence settling over the table. “What now?”
“Right now,” James said, “you two finish your meal. I need to get dressed, and then the three of us have a bar to run.”
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Shi asked as James took his cup to the sink.
“Already did when you were in the shower,” he lied, pretty convincingly too. I grimaced, feeling a pang of guilt, but Shi began to eat without any further arguments.
James kissed the top of my head, whispering in my ear that we’d talk about it later and rounded the table, giving Shiloh the same attention before walking out the door, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
As he left the room, I shared a grin with Shiloh and realized with excitement that we had the same expression on our faces.