Chapter 30
James insisted on a shower first. As it often did, the power dynamic shifted the moment we climbed out of bed, but I didn’t mind.
James led me into the ensuite bathroom and I happily gave up control.
We traded lazy kisses until the room filled with steam.
Only then did he silently take my hand and help me into the shower, positioning me directly below the rainfall shower head.
Hot water dampened my hair, cascading down my back, made all the more relaxing by James’s hands following the trail, even hotter than the water.
We didn’t speak—we didn’t need to. After witnessing Dani’s transformation, I had an idea of what to expect.
Though with my hybrid DNA, mine could be completely different.
At the slightest spike in my heart rate, James wrapped his arms around me. I wondered if—when my heart didn’t beat anymore—he would still be able to read me like a book. Lips met my shoulder, and I leaned back into him.
“James…”
“Hm?”
“After I turn, will you be able to do… this?”
He ran a soapy washcloth across my neck and shoulders. “Do what, love?”
“Know what I need without me having to ask for it? Which sounds lazy now that I say it out loud.”
James chuckled, the sound creeping through my skin and settling into my bones.
“It’s not lazy. Being able to understand your partner on that level is intimate, romantic.
To answer your question…” James tipped my head, exposing one of his marks.
“Yes, I will, better than I do now. I’ll be able to literally read your mind, remember? ”
Oh I remembered. Once I’d gotten over the fear of having someone know my every thought, I’d dreamt of all the ways to use that particular bond to my advantage.
James massaged shampoo into my hair, breaking down the thick layer of product that Hannah had smushed over my head that morning. It didn’t even make my hair look any different, but she’d insisted on it. I hummed and leaned into the feeling of his fingers scratching my scalp.
“Will everything feel the same?” I wondered out loud.
Another laugh. “Oh, love, you have no idea how much I truly hold back with you.”
As if to prove his point, he dug his nails into my scalp. I hissed at the sting, but found myself wondering what it would feel like when he could completely let go.
James continued to wash me, and I shut my mouth and enjoyed the feeling.
Once I was clean, I returned the favor. Part of me thought he was trying to delay biting me, but he didn’t protest when I rinsed the suds from his body and we both grabbed fluffy white towels and stepped out of the shower, not bothering to even get dressed.
With my hand in his, James led me back to the bed and guided me to sit on the edge of the mattress. Leaning down, he ghosted a feather light kiss across my lips, his thumb brushing the mark on the side of my neck—where he’d bite me for what I hoped would be the final time.
“No matter what happens,” he said, sending shivers down my spine with each pass over that mark, “you know that I love you, right?”
I shuddered. “I love you,” I echoed.
“No matter how bad this gets, I’m right here, okay?”
My mouth dried. At that, all I could do was nod. Typically, I’d have urged him onward, begging him to be as rough as possible.
Trust.
It had been hard to learn, but once I stopped fighting it, it was easy to give up.
For him.
“I trust you,” I whispered.
James let out a sigh. “Lie back on the pillows for me.”
Lie down… I could do that, right? Lying down was probably good.
It felt like I was moving in slow motion as I twisted around to rest on the pillows.
James climbed onto the bed, stretching over me.
The move used to make me feel trapped, but with him, I welcomed it.
I took a few deep, centering breaths to keep myself under control.
When I opened my eyes, James watched me, bottom lip fixed between his teeth.
“Don’t let me hurt you,” I said, insecurity beginning to settle heavily in my stomach.
James’s gave me an amused smile. “Gabriel’s nearby to help if we need him, but I trust you just as much as you trust me.”
Emotions swelled in my chest, almost too quickly for me to handle.
Before they got the better of me, I tugged James down into a kiss.
Our lips met, and my nerves faded away. One, two, three soft presses of his mouth against mine, and he was winding his way to his mark.
He licked over the bruise and I gasped, fully expecting to feel the cold stab from his fangs.
“One more time for me, love,” he said against my skin.
“Please,” I begged. “I want you to turn me. I need you to do it, James, and we’re not leaving this room until—fuck!”
His fangs pierced my skin. The now familiar fire spread through my veins and settled deep in my belly.
Only this time, James took one quick draw of blood and switched to the other side of my neck.
I tensed as he sank in a second time. Venom coursed through my body, warmth radiating from deep inside me.
My head grew fuzzy, the high hitting me much more intensely than before, as if something had changed.
Trying to remember to breathe, I inhaled deeply through my nose.
James slowly, softly kissed his way down my neck. Through bleary eyes, I hardly registered the words of praise he murmured against my skin.
“Bite me again,” I said, voice slurred. “Please.”
“I will, but the venom will be stronger at your pulse points. Trust me, it’ll be faster this way.”
He grabbed my hand, pressing tender lips to my wrist as he undid my watch and tossed it to the nightstand.
He licked over the skin, then bit. I groaned, heat bolting up my arm and mingling with the residual burn from the bites on my neck.
Every beat of my heart made the venom pulse beneath my skin.
I peered down, seeing blue lines etch themselves into my arm.
James distracted me by dropping my left hand, repeating the motion on my right. One quick draw, and he pulled back. “Let me know if you need a break.”
The flames zipping through my veins almost convinced me to take him up on it, but he continued working his way down my stomach, licking a hot path south from my belly button. Damn it, he knew just how to make me tick.
Despite the brain fog and the exhaustion, my cock took interest. Especially when James tongued high on my thigh and… bypassed my erection completely. Damn him.
The high was unlike anything I’d felt before. I could hardly move, but a low growl emanating from my chest made it crystal clear how displeased I was with his teasing.
Nose in my groin, he laughed. “You are entirely insatiable, Ryder Campbell-Clark.”
Unable to move my mouth enough to speak, a whimper passed my lips and my head fell back to the pillow.
Only for me to arch off the mattress a second later.
James sank in again, this time in the crook where my thigh met my hip.
I started to shake, scrabbling at his shoulders for support.
His drinks were growing shallower, his sole focus on pouring as much venom into my body as possible.
I trembled from head to toe and began to wonder how much more I could take.
James peered up from his spot between my legs, eyes redder than ever. “You’re doing great. Keep breathing for me. You can do this.”
That gave me newfound confidence. I inhaled deeply. Every inch of me felt like it was on fire. When I spoke, it was weak, and my voice quavered as violently as the rest of me. “Is this what it’s supposed to feel like?”
“Yes,” James responded, lips tender against my heated flesh. Was that hope tinting his voice? “This is a good sign, Ryder. You’re almost there.”
His encouragement gave me the strength to push through.
I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep breath through my nose and letting my body ease into the mattress.
Instead of focusing on the heat simmering through me, I gave my attention to the soft sheets against my skin, on James’s hands smoothing over my chest and stomach.
His mouth nibbled up the inside of my hamstring, tongue licking a hot path toward where I really wanted him.
Even with the discomfort of the venom burning its way through my system, James’s bites were erotic in a way nothing else ever had been.
He stretched out, nuzzling into my neck once more. “Can you handle one more for me, love?” he asked, lapping at the tender, unmarked skin.
“Ah… I think so.”
Cold fangs pierced hot skin. Fire and ice mingled beneath the surface.
My lungs seized and my heart pounded, feeling like it would burst right out of my skin.
The pain was off the charts. I nearly surrendered to it, but James was quick to distract me, plunging his tongue into my mouth.
The taste of copper lingered, and warm blood trickled down the side of my neck.
I sucked, and the feeling of his hips pinning mine carried me away.
I could practically feel the venom dancing through my veins, trailed by James’s mouth as he sealed the bites he’d left behind.
The next time I peeled my eyes open, I watched his lips trace the electric blue lines etching themselves into my skin.
They were brighter now, seeming to shimmer in the dim moonlight.
James brushed the faint mark on my ribcage, and I shuddered.
Thank fuck weddings only lasted one day. Between the tender touches, the words we’d shared, the bites, and the way he looked at me now, I was overcome with emotion.
Or maybe that was the burning.
My eyes stung. I squeezed them shut, and James stretched over me once more. “I’ve got you.”
I didn’t need to respond. I’d spent so much of my life demanding attention at any given turn that I hadn’t realized how refreshing it could be to enjoy the quieter moments.
Exhausted, I needed James’s help to shift over so he could lie down next to me.
Sweat beaded across my hairline and poured down my face, my body temperature seeming to rise by the second.
Venom surged under my skin with every beat of my heart.
The lines in my skin pulsed, each flash weaker than the one before.
Somehow, I found the strength to speak. “How do we know it worked this time?”
James curled against my side, adjusting so he could hold me in his arms, rubbing my arm soothingly. “We’ll know soon. Just rest now, love—while you can.”
I couldn’t have fought my eyes shutting if I tried. James twisted my curls around his fingers, winding one into a perfect spiral before moving along to another. Despite James’s silence, I could have sworn he was murmuring to me as I drifted off to sleep.
I couldn’t have dozed for very long before something roused me. Everything hurt. As I peeled myself away from James, I realized that I was drenched in sweat. I sat up, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. James was watching me expectantly, and I realized he had woken me up.
“What’s going on?” I slurred, my tongue like lead in my mouth.
“You’re burning up. I asked if you wanted me to help you into a cool shower.”
“That, um…” I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. “That’d be great.”
Moving felt like walking through cement. For a moment, I sat on the edge of the bed, willing the room to stop spinning. James waited patiently, kneeling by my side. As much as he tried to hide it, I could see the hope behind his eyes. Hand on my knee, his thumb stroked my sensitive skin.
I didn’t want to get his hopes up. I’d had a similar reaction the last time he tried to turn me, only for it to fade a few hours later. Though it hadn’t felt nearly as intense, that time.
Once I was ready, James took my hand and helped me to my feet—only for the room to start spinning again. My stomach roiled, and I choked down more bile.
Wait…
Bile didn’t taste like pennies.
I rushed into the bathroom, bracing myself on the counter and vomiting into the sink.
Imagine my surprise when bright-red blood splashed against the porcelain.
I tried to call out for James, only for my stomach to heave again, but he was behind me before I could blink.
He held my hair away from my face and whispered comforting words to me. “It’s okay, love. You can do this.”
“Why am I throwing up blood?” I strained between heaves. “I haven’t drank any yet.”
“Your blood is being pushed out to make room for the venom,” James explained softly.
This was it. It was actually happening. I knew it was going to suck, but god I didn’t expect the pain to be so bad.
I continued to vomit into the sink until my stomach ached so fiercely that tears streamed down my cheeks.
James turned on the water, and I could only watch the blood rinse away down the drain.
A day passed in a blur. I could hardly move. James helped me in and out of the shower, cycling through bouts of vomiting.
He’d been right—it felt like the worst flu I’d ever had… and I’d thought the actual flu was bad enough.
No, that shit had nothing on turning into a fucking vampire. God, was this what Angel had felt when he transformed as well?
The sun rose and fell. No one came searching for us, likely assuming that we were rolling around in wedded bliss.
If only.
James tried to offer me food, even tried offering me blood, but the last thing I wanted was to put something into my stomach that would just end up wanting out.
Eventually, I felt confident that I wouldn’t be sick anymore.
I was still weak and feverish, but my stomach, at least, settled.
I went to the bathroom one more time, standing at the sink to brush my teeth.
James leaned in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He watched me carefully.
I bent over to spit out a mouthful of toothpaste and when I straightened back up, I flinched.
My eyes.
They’d transformed from the deep-ocean blue I’d had my entire life to a vibrant red, one that glittered beneath the lights. I caught James’s gaze over my shoulder. He smiled proudly, even if nerves lingered there. His mouth didn’t move, but I still heard his words.
“There you are, my little vampire.”