Chapter Eighteen
KYELLA
Dread pooled in the depths of my stomach, thinking of how wrong this was going.
When we had approached the Thaician Empire with our fleet, I firmly believed that good would prevail in all ways.
After all, shouldn’t fate be on the side of light?
At this moment, I felt a sense of bitterness biting at my heart, feeling like that wasn’t the case.
How was this fair?
Use the other dose in my jacket on him once I’m gone.
“No,” I rasped once more, refusing to just go along with a plan that would end in his death.
Why couldn’t we use it on him together? Why couldn’t we fight this together? I craved to ask my pleading question aloud, but I knew any chance of catching Lazarus off guard with the Evathrina would be ruined if I did.
“You don’t get to say no to me!” Lazarus screamed on my right, and I watched him throw his hand out like he was slapping the air seconds before Barnabus carried on the mimed action on me. The crack of his skin connecting with mine rang in my ears. “No one gets to say no to me!”
Barnabus’ eyes misted with tears as my cheek throbbed from the blow.
This had to be tearing him apart inside, being used against his will and forced to dole out pain to someone you cared about.
Tears of frustration and pain filled my eyes as I looked up at him.
The regret and agony in his gaze were easy to spot, but more than anything, determination was bleeding through.
But it was not a determination that I could support.
Lazarus was the only one in this room who deserved to die.
He will use me against you—he will make me kill you. You must do this alone when I’m gone. It’s okay.
I attempted to shake my head and move from under him, but his knee only pushed against my armor more, making me grit my teeth at the pinch of pain from the pressure pressing down on me.
“Your time to save yourself is running out,” Lazarus sang as his steps drew closer. He stilled when he stood to my right, giving him a close up of the agony that was sure to come.
It’s the only way. I have lived a long life, Kyella, and there is nothing I would rather do than give my life for you to bring peace to the empires.
His kind words only served to further tear me apart inside. How could someone so good and selfless be meant to meet such a horrible fate?
His grip loosened slightly, and hope filled me for a blind moment.
For a short second, I believed that I could break away from him and gain the space I needed to breathe properly and attack Lazarus…
until I felt the cold bite of steel pressing against my throat in place of the hand that had been there half a second before.
Malice radiated in his gaze as he bore his fangs with a hiss.
He was going to slit my throat—Lazarus was going to make him slit my throat.
“If you don’t fight him back, I will make him use your own weapon against you, love,” Lazarus taunted, glee dripping from each word as he watched how distraught this situation he’d put us in made me. Crouching down to be closer to my level, he reached out to brush a strand of my hair behind my ear.
I wanted to cut his fucking hand off.
Risking the blade against my throat, I snapped my head to the side in an attempt to bite his hand as I had done Malakai, but searing pain bloomed as the blade cut into my skin, deep enough for blood to pour across my neck, soaking into my hair.
Lazarus tsked at me as he yanked his hand back and pushed to his feet. “Ah, ah. That’s not the way to earn my love, Kyella.” His eyes narrowed to slits as he sneered down at me. “Truly, I’ve given you too many chances to prove your loyalty. Make your choice, now.”
Tears blurred my vision as dire reality set in. I couldn’t lay here and refuse to fight or do anything, any longer, but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt Barnabus or accept that he needed to ingest the Evathrina.
There had to be another way, I just needed more time to figure it out.
I knew the wound on my neck would heal. I could tell that the blade hadn’t nicked anything vital as the blood flow was already staunched, and I could feel the skin beginning to stitch back together.
Prepare yourself…I’m going to focus all the energy I have left into one moment to break free. I will not hurt you anymore. I simply cannot bear it.
My chest squeezed at his words. How could he expect me to just accept this?
“Please, no,” I pleaded hoarsely. Each word I forced out felt like choking on a rock with the way the delicate skin felt raw and bruised.
I knew Lazarus would think I was talking to him, but my words were for my companion. The friend who had steadfastly stood by my side and convinced me that I could accomplish the dream he, Myrin, and I had stood for.
While we hadn’t had the chance to spend many of our days together, in the short time I’d been gifted the ability to communicate with him, he’d become so dear to me. He saved my life multiple times, and he thought now I would be able to watch as he ended his own?
I couldn’t picture a world in which the dream ended in not having him and Myrin by my side. My heart couldn’t bear losing another friend.
But time wasn’t on my side, and just as helplessness washed over me at the crossroads I faced, Barnabus’ gaze cleared of all the anger Lazarus had forced upon him.
My old friend offered me a soft smile before he moved like lightning, dropping the dagger near my hand and hurling himself away from me.
It was as if I watched in slow motion as he pulled the Evathrina from his pocket in midair and put it in his mouth before he crashed to the ground on his side, staring directly at me with that same smile on his face.
I watched his throat bob as he swallowed.
A frenzied clap echoed through the room as Lazarus let out a maniacal laugh, “So, the trash took itself out. Splendid.”
No.
No.
No!
“Barnabus!” I screamed, not caring about the pain flaring through my throat as I struggled to push myself up.
Nor did I care about Lazarus at that moment.
All I cared about was getting to my friend's side as I stumbled to my feet and closed the distance between us.
I collapsed on my knees in front of him, hands shaking as I reached for him.
His body was completely still, as if he was paralyzed from the toxin before he began to spasm.
I rushed to cradle his head as it started to bang against the floor harshly, his body beginning to convulse.
“Barnabus! No!” A sob hitched in my throat, nearly hyperventilating as I tried to think of all the ways to remove the flower from his system.
“Tell me what to do! How do I fix this?! You can’t die! ”
Willing to try anything I tore into my wrist with my fangs to get my blood flowing to feed him, but his body suddenly stopped thrashing, completely calming as his eyes remained glued to my own.
“Barnabus,” I murmured, choked up by emotion as tears dripped from my eyes, onto his cheeks.
Was he okay? Why had his body stopped convulsing?
Your blood can’t heal me, nothing can. My body is slowly shutting down and will soon be unresponsive to even my own brain, so I can’t be used against you now. I will pass in peace.
“I can’t lose you too,” I cried, slumping over him as my own body shook with sobs. “I can’t.”
You aren’t losing me. Just like we never lost Myrin.
The memories of our loved ones can never be stolen from us, not even by death herself.
I have lived a life much too long, Kyella.
As has Lazarus. Take the other flower in my pocket and end this.
It is now in your hands to shape the future into that of the one we have fought and sacrificed for.
Barnabus’ words filled my head, soft and weak, and I realized that he was truly dying…
and there was nothing I could do. I rushed to think through everything I had read about the flower, trying to find a solution…
anything to fix this as I pushed myself off him and cradled his face in the palm of my hand.
“Thank you for believing in me,” I whispered softly as the light began to fade from his eyes. “I will not fail you or Myrin. These lands will know peace and equality.”
"Oh, what a fucking joke,” Lazarus scoffed, his voice closer than I remembered him standing, making my hackles rise.
Something within me awoke at the thought of him witnessing the end of my friend’s life. The death he caused. Barnabus deserved privacy in his last moments, comforted by someone who cared for him.
Laughter echoed through the hall.
“Come, Kyella,” he called out in a strong, commanding tone, but I would never play by his rules.
Hot tears streamed down my face anew as Barnabus words echoed through my mind for a final time, so faint I could barely hear them.
The only person who needs to believe in you now, is you.
My body trembled as the focus in his eyes flickered, like he was staring through me…until all light from his eyes was gone.
He was dead.
Barnabus…was dead.
And there was one person to blame.
Lazarus’ laugh only doubled, bringing out the blind fury that had come over me in the moments after Myrin’s death. I gave into the cold, indifference. It was imperative that I let it wash over me, otherwise I’d never be able to fight through my sorrow.
Sliding my hand into Barnabus' jacket, I grabbed the flower and slipped it into the pouch at my waist. As Lazarus rounded us, moving around Barnabus’ feet to stand on his other side, he looked down on him with pity and disgust clear in his gaze.
“What an idiotic fool, thinking he could take you from me,” he murmured, as if Barnabus and I shared anything other than the bond of family.
This man was beyond fucked in the brain, the way he thought of me as his possession and viewed the world in relation to me.
His words ran through my mind as the wheels began to turn, formulating the only plan I could think of that would get me close enough to the vile vampyre to end this.
It was risky–but I needed to believe in myself.