Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Charlotte was not a coward. Nor was she ignorant of the fact that she had spent the morning hiding.
Or rather, strategizing. The ball was happening that evening, and she dreamed of using it as an opportunity to make an impression on her husband.
Seeing how easily their family could have been torn apart if the carriage accident had gone wrong, she had a newfound determination to make their marriage of convenience somehow… more.
Perhaps over time, love could develop between them if she gave it a chance.
Charlotte was not above using her feminine wiles on her husband if need be.
She had very vivid memories of how she had excited him in the past. Though their wedding night had been a disappointment, Charlotte believed they could do better.
If she were bolder, rather than merely accepting his amorous advances, there was a chance they could find some pleasure in their arrangement.
After all, one didn’t need to feel trapped in a marriage if they took advantage of all the benefits of married life.
They were both young and healthy, and shared a physical attraction that seemed reciprocal.
Her husband wanted her, of that there was no doubt.
The gentle way he touched her, as though he was still in disbelief that she had returned to him, indicated more than just caring.
The way his eyes lit on her body as she entered a room or how his kiss lingered on her lips long after they had parted gave her hope.
She twisted the beautiful posy ring around her finger.
There was no doubt she meant something to him.
A physical connection could one day lead to something deeper.
Marital relations need not be a duty, as she had portrayed them before.
They could be a release. A veritable source of intense pleasure, as they had experienced in the past. How difficult could it be to seduce her husband?
With a determined step, Charlotte emerged from her bedroom after spending time with her daughter and taking a meal in her room.
A strategy would be necessary for this important night in their relationship.
Their first outing in public as husband and wife.
She mused on how to best approach her husband.
Would it be best to tell him how deeply she had craved him in their time apart?
Though she painted a portrait of being an independent woman living unencumbered in the country, she did, in fact, miss his companionship.
It could not be replaced by her affection for her family or her deep connection to their daughter.
There was nothing like it. When she first lost it, she foolishly convinced herself she could marry another and forget their time together. How wrong she had been.
His resurgence in her life gave her back a piece of herself that had been missing all this time.
Losing him made her afraid to ever love another as deeply.
The pain of the loss was unmatched to any other.
Though few details of his previous marriage were known, it seemed to have been rather strained and distant.
What if he brought that same distance between them one day?
She had no assurance that giving him her love would be enough.
It hadn’t been enough in the past.
No, Charlotte huffed. It was too soon for all those intense revelations.
Especially when she didn’t know how exactly her husband was feeling.
Yes, he was attracted to her, but was it possible to love the same after all they had experienced?
Or to revive the friendship she had missed almost as much as the romantic connection?
Their affection had been clear when they were younger, but neither had dared to speak of love.
His longing gazes once hinted at a deeper feeling, but now, they betrayed his desire to satisfy a sense of duty. Honor. Resignation.
Regardless of the strong emotion that had taken hold of her heart, she must protect herself.
The gowns Madame Auclair had dropped off that afternoon were stunning.
The day dresses and ball gown she created only needed a few adjustments to fit flawlessly.
Soft cream muslin, dotted with tiny pearls, floated against her skin, and the neckline that her husband would find most appealing revealed her other tantalizing assets.
She was too excited to wait to wear it, donning it immediately and asking Aamina to fix her hair into a coiffure that matched its beauty.
Her hands shook as she pushed open the door to the drawing room, where Aamina had informed her the lord was reading and enjoying a quiet moment.
Perhaps if they spent time together, on neutral territory, and out of the bedroom, their relations would be less strained.
Charlotte could no longer resist the pull of his presence.
She found it hard to imagine wanting to be elsewhere, even her precious Fermoy, when it meant putting any distance between them.
Their attraction could not be denied; it was simply their own stubborn apprehensions that kept them apart.
Her skin flushed as his eyes peeked over his newspaper when she walked into the room, following her every move as though he stood directly behind her, shadowing each step. Charlotte breathed deeply and gathered her courage.
“Might I play the pianoforte for you, my lord?”
The look in his eyes was a mixture of surprise and challenge, his eyebrow lifting.
He nodded slowly. A shiver rippled through her as she struggled to hide her reaction, his continued gaze lingering.
With a quiet step, she sought the solace of the pianoforte bench.
Rain tapped gently along the side of the windows outside, creating a rhythmic pitter-pat as she settled, arranging her music sheets.
Charlotte had enjoyed learning the piece, since it suited her mood.
It provided a gentle distraction from her thoughts.
She hazarded a glance at Perry. He stared intently at the newspaper, oblivious to the nerves fluttering in her stomach.
Why was she so uneasy? They were married and should be working together toward the same goals.
For any normal marriage, this would be a terribly boring domestic scene. Nothing overtly remarkable about it.
With a strengthening inhale, her fingers began to move against the keys, seeking the comfort and solace she could only find in her music.
This had been her goal all along, to become more comfortable as his wife, to immerse herself in the dream of domesticity she could achieve with him.
It was a dream she had never hoped to have at one time, and now it was hers for the taking.
Charlotte closed her eyes, absorbed in her favorite part of the song, one she had already memorized perfectly.
She glimpsed Perry as he picked up a glass of port from the side table and sipped.
Turning back to her music sheets, a smile teased her lips as the song flowed effortlessly.
Her breath caught the moment Perry stood.
His calm, easy movements toward her made her pulse jump.
Desire shot straight through her core as he approached, her body lighting up at his proximity.
Her fingers stilled, her gaze slowly raking over his chest to meet his.
He leaned against the top of the pianoforte and waited.
“Am I disturbing you?” she asked breathily.
“You pull me toward you with your beautiful playing. It was impossible to focus,” he said softly. “Please, continue.”
She gave a small nod and resumed playing, her fingers finding calm as soon as they rested upon the cool ivory.
Eyes trained on her music sheets, she attempted to focus on the notes.
Turning the sheet, she stumbled over a particularly difficult part.
Her fingers tripped over the notes a few times.
The practice was made more difficult by the way his gaze devoured every inch of her.
Gasping, Charlotte stopped playing as the sheets toppled from the stand beneath a swift sweep of Perry’s hand. Startled, she frowned, wondering at his actions. “I need those to play the music,” she spoke breathily, her mouth tilting up into a half-smile.
“I think you’ve practiced enough, don’t you?” Perry flushed at the boldness of his words, his eyes narrowing as he awaited her reaction.
“Clearly not,” she replied with a nervous giggle. “I keep fumbling over that section.”
“Perhaps that is your mind telling you it’s time for a break.” With those words, Perry took her hand, pulling her up from the bench and toward him.
Her hand fit perfectly in his. The simple touch made her wonder. Perhaps he was of a mind to see where their marriage could go as well. Nothing would give her greater pleasure than seeing her husband surrender. She didn’t mind giving him a little push.
Right to the edge. To see Perry come undone for her would be a dream.
“What did you have in mind to do instead? Read the newspaper?” she asked, with an eyebrow curving upward. Her hips swayed as she smirked playfully.
“I’m sure we will think of something,” Perry cajoled, his top teeth digging into his bottom lip, holding back a grin. “Perhaps I would like to kiss my wife. Is that so forbidden?”
Easy for him to act so playful, her heart was racing furiously in her chest. She could barely handle his closeness.
His teasing? It reminded her of their time together as friends. How they laughed and spoke of nothing and everything at the same time. She had yet to experience that kind of comfort with anyone since. Her eyes roamed his hard chest, seeking solace from the heat in his intense blue gaze.
“We used to have fun. Do you remember?” he turned her hand over, brushing his thumb against the inside of her wrist. “My, how your pulse races. Does my proximity have this effect on your heart?”
If only he knew. He tugged her closer, the intensity of his scrutiny taking her breath. “Your presence… I find it unsettling.”