Chapter 14
MOLLY
A few weeks pass, and I settle into my role, keeping my head down and avoiding situations where I might find myself having to have unnecessary interactions with Joshua.
Every day, I dread running into him, yet at the same time, I yearn for him.
When I do see him, he barely acknowledges me, just gives me a nod, the same as he does with all the other secretaries, and then I’m left with such mixed emotions.
Maybe he truly doesn’t remember me, or maybe he does, and he just doesn’t care enough to talk to me about it.
Either way, this leaves me partly relieved because there is much less chance of me slipping up and mentioning Autumn if we don’t talk and it leaves me partly gutted because no matter what I tell myself, I still want him.
I know I can’t have him though, and so I make it my mission to remain invisible, because it’s easier to not be seen than to be seen and not be acknowledged. I plan to coast along, head down, doing my job and having the tiniest contact possible with Joshua. It’s working well for me until it isn’t.
The plan shatters one afternoon when I least expect it and in a way that I never would have predicted in a million years.
The phone on my desk rings and I pick it up.
“Redfern Consultancy, Molly speaking,” I say as I bring the receiver up to my ear.
“Hi Molly, it’s Linda from HR. Can you pop down and see me when you have a minute, please?” she says.
“Yes, no problem,” I reply.
We say our goodbyes and I replace the receiver and think for a moment. I can’t imagine what she might want. Did I need to fill out more paperwork? I don’t think it’s that. My stomach knots instantly. Did I do something wrong? Is she about to fire me? God, I hope not, but why else would she want me?
When she first asked to see me when I had a minute, I planned on waiting at least an hour or two so that it looked like I was swamped with work and couldn’t just drop everything and go to see her.
I felt like that gave a better impression of me, but now I feel like I’m going to be fired, I’m too paranoid to wait, and if I am going to be fired anyway, I guess it doesn’t matter if Linda doesn’t approve of me being able to put my work on hold like this.
“I have to go down to HR,” I say, mostly to Frieda.
“Is everything ok?” she asks me.
“I have no idea,” I say. “That was Linda. She asked to see me.”
“Ok,” Frieda says.
I get up and leave the work area and head down to the HR department.
I go inside and spot Linda at her desk. She stands up when she sees me and beckons me to follow her to the side of the area.
I do as she gestures, and she takes me into a small room with only a table and a chair either side of it.
She’s carrying a brown paper file and a pen.
This definitely feels official and that has to be bad.
"Molly, have a seat," she says, offering me a warm smile.
I lower myself into the chair across from her, my hands clasped tightly in my lap. Here it comes. Goodbye Molly.
"I’ll get right to it," Linda continues. I brace myself. I won’t show her how upset I am about this. I won’t let her see me crying over it. "We’d like to offer you the position of the CEO’s executive secretary."
I blink. Hard. Did I hear that correctly? She’s not firing me; she’s offering me a promotion? No, I must have it wrong. It must be like a defense mechanism, like my mind can’t cope with the idea of me being told I’m fired so it changed the words to something else.
"I … What?" I managed to splutter out after a moment of silence.
Linda smiles at my confusion.
"The CEO’s secretary just put in her resignation, and we need to fill the role quickly. Your name came up immediately. You’ve impressed everyone in your short time here, Molly. You’re efficient, professional, and highly capable," Linda says.
“But what about Frieda?” I ask. “Wouldn’t she be next in line for this?”
“In theory yes, but Frieda has made it clear on many occasions over the years that she is happy with her current role and doesn’t want to change it. And the other two ladies, while great at what they do, aren’t contenders for a faster paced position.”
My mouth opens, then closes. I don’t know what to say. Me? The CEO’s secretary? Working directly with Joshua every single day? Would that be heaven or would it be hell? I think it would be some sort of purgatory, like a middle ground between the two.
"I know this might seem sudden," Linda adds, misinterpreting my hesitation. "But we really do believe you’re the best person for the role. We really don’t want to go with an outside hire for this. And for you, it’s a significant promotion.
Your salary would nearly double, and the benefits package is excellent.
I really think you’d come to regret it if you didn’t take the job. "
My breath catches. Nearly double my salary. That kind of money would change everything for me and for Autumn. I wouldn’t have to struggle so much, wouldn’t have to pinch every cent to make sure my daughter has what she needs. And I could finally feel proud of myself, like I had achieved something.
But the thought of working so closely with Joshua is terrifying. How would I keep my secret then? I guess it would just be a case of not discussing my personal life, which shouldn’t be so hard, and not displaying my picture of Autumn on my new desk. I can do that. But do I want to?
Linda tilts her head.
"Molly?" she says, and I look at her. “You don’t have to decide right now of course, but this really is time sensitive, and I need to know within twenty-four hours. I’m sorry to rush you, and I hope you understand why I’m doing so.”
I force a swallow, and I nod my head. I do understand that she needs to move quickly because if I say no, then there will be a lot more of an in-depth process, having to find someone else and then train them.
"I... I’m just surprised. I’ve only been here a short time," I say.
"That’s true," she acknowledges. "But talent is talent. And you’ve already proven yourself."
I take a shaky breath. The rational part of me knows I should say yes. It’s the smart thing to do. But the personal part of me is screaming at me to run in the opposite direction.
And yet, the image of Autumn’s little face flashes in my mind. Her curly red hair, her bright green eyes - the same eyes that will stare at me in disappointment from the mirror if I let her down. I can’t afford to let my past dictate my future. I square my shoulders, and I meet Linda’s gaze.
"I don’t need twenty-four hours,” I say. “I’ll take the job."
She beams.
"That’s fantastic news,” she says. she opens the brown file and pulls out a stapled booklet of paper and pushes it across the table towards me. “This is your new contract. If you can read it and sign it, please.”
I do as she asks. It’s a pretty standard contract, nothing really different from the current one I had signed except for the better job title, salary and benefits. I sign it and hand it back to Linda.
“Perfect. I’ll get the paperwork started and you will start in your new role tomorrow. Congratulations, Molly," she says.
I beam at her and thank her and then I leave the room and head back out of the HR department and back to the elevators.
As I leave her office, reality crashes down on me.
I just signed up to work side by side with the man who doesn’t know he has a daughter with me, a man who gave me the best night of my life and doesn’t even remember it.
And now, I have no idea how I’m going to do this, but I only know that I’m going to do it.
If Joshua can forget that night, then so can I.
Or at least I can act like I have. I think.