Chapter 28
MOLLY
The day of the christening arrives faster than I expected it to, and before I know it, I’m standing outside of my apartment, smoothing my dress down with shaky hands. I’ve been telling myself for days that this is just a favor, nothing more. But my heart doesn’t seem to believe me.
Joshua picks me up right on time, pulling up to the curb in his sleek black car.
He steps out, looking devastatingly handsome in a crisp navy suit and tie and a pale blue shirt.
His tie is slightly loosened as if he’s already had a long day, and there’s something about that slightly lose tie that excites me.
"You clean up nice, Ms. Matthews," Joshua says, raking his eyes over me.
I’m wearing a very pale lemon colored dress. It sits just above my knee, and it has spaghetti straps, and I’m well aware of the fact it clings in all the right places to show off my curves. I’ve paired it with high nude heels and a matching purse.
"Why thank you kind sir,” I say with a smile. “And you don’t scrub up too bad yourself."
His smirk is knowing, teasing, like he somehow knows the effect that half loosened tie is having on me.
He opens the car door for me, and I slide inside.
He closes the door, and I watch him as he walks past the front of the car.
He oozes confidence and there’s a raw magnetism about him that I can’t deny.
I’m starting to think it’s going to be harder to resist him today than I had initially thought it would be.
I shift slightly in my seat as Joshua gets into the car and closes the door behind him.
I’m desperately trying to ignore the way my pulse quickens when he settles in next to me and revs the engine before pulling away and joining the flow of traffic.
The drive is filled with easy conversation, a playful banter that feels effortless. When we arrive at the church, I take a deep breath, mentally preparing myself for an afternoon of playing pretend.
Joshua parks the car and we both get out. He shakes his head sadly at me.
“Have you never been with a man that actually knows how to treat a woman? I would have opened the door for you,” he says.
I shrug, embarrassed to realize that he’s right.
I’ve never dated anyone who thought stuff like that mattered, and I always told myself I didn’t care about that stuff either, but maybe I do, because the fact that Joshua wanted to do it for me makes me go all warm inside.
Joshua approaches me and holds out his arm.
I slip my hand through it, and he leads me out of the parking lot and around to the front of the church where a few other guests mill about in pairs or small groups chatting.
The church is stunning. It’s much bigger than I realized and the grey-white bricks seem to go on forever, towering into the sky.
The stained-glass windows break the bricks up in the most picturesque way possible.
The grounds are grassy with a few flower beds, and they all look very well kept.
There aren’t even any fallen leaves although the grounds contain several large trees.
We step inside of the church, and I’m at once chilly.
I’ve never been in a church that is actually warm.
That church smell fills my nose – the smell of furniture polish, old prayer books and incense – and I reflect on the fact that churches are similar to hospitals in that sense; you always know you’re in one by the smell alone.
The inside of the church is smaller than I expected from looking at the outside of the building, but it’s still fairly big.
It has a really high, arched ceiling, and the walls, between the stained-glass windows, are full of pictures depicting what I think are biblical scenes.
Row upon row of polished wood pews fill the majority of the space, and each pew has a small bouquet of maroon and cream flowers on the end of it.
At the front of the space is a couple of steps leading up to the altar and the font, plus a lectern for the priest to use and seating for the choir which is currently empty.
The pews on the other hand are already over three quarters full and a quick scan of the heads shows me Joshua’s father in one of the front pews.
The pews are split into two sides with an aisle between them and I assume the guests for the christening are on the side with Joshua’s father. There are a lot of people, and I suddenly feel nervous. What if I say or do the wrong thing and embarrass myself and Joshua?
I’m still looking around, taking it all in when Joshua leans in close, his breath warm against my ear.
"Remember, just keep smiling. My mother can smell fear,” he says. “And if all else fails, just throw a drink over my dad. Oh, wait. You already did that."
I elbow him lightly, but I can’t stop the quiet laugh that escapes me. And just like that, the nerves fade. Joshua leads me along the aisle, and I can hear the buzz of chatter from people on either side of it, and I can hear my heels clicking on the floor.
Once we reach the front couple of rows, we are greeted by a swarm of his family members, all talking over each other in a chaotic, loving mess. His mother zeroes in on us immediately, her sharp eyes flicking between me and Joshua.
"And who is this?" she asks, the curiosity evident in her tone.
Joshua drapes an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close.
"Mom, this is Molly. My date. Molly, meet my mom, Francesca,"
Her eyes widen slightly before a pleased smile spreads across her face.
"Oh, it’s lovely to meet you, dear,” she says, taking both of my hands in both of hers and keeping a hold of them as she talks. “I was beginning to think Joshua would never bring anyone to meet his momma."
I smile politely, resisting the urge to roll my eyes at Joshua’s triumphant expression.
“Oh, and do call me Fran. Francesca is a bit formal isn’t it,” she adds.
Fran chats with us a moment longer and then she’s called away by another family member and she excuses herself and Joshua and I are left alone for a moment. We take our seats in one of the pews just behind his parents. Joshua leans into me, his lips brushing my ear as he whispers to me.
"You’re doing great. My mom already loves you," he says.
I shake my head, suppressing a grin.
"I’m not trying to impress your mom," I inform him.
"Oh? Who are you trying to impress, then?" he asks.
I shoot him a look, but he just smirks, clearly enjoying himself.
I’m saved from having to come up with something clever to say back to him, because at that moment, the priest appears, and the ceremony begins.
It starts with the normal church service which includes a sermon from the priest, several hymns sung by the congregation and a few prayers.
Judging by the sound of rustling clothes, I’m not the only one with a numb ass by the time the actual christening begins.
“Welcome everyone to this joyous occasion as we celebrate the christening of Oscar Benson, son of Mitchell Benson and Hannah Redfern Benson. We gather here today to give thanks for this gift of new life and to publicly welcome Oscar into the Christian faith,” the priest says.
When he finishes speaking, he beckons and a pretty, dark haired woman in a white dress with black flowers on it stands up first. She’s holding a tiny baby dressed in white and wrapped in a blue blanket.
I assume she is Hannah. With her is the man I assume to be her husband.
He too is goodlooking, and it occurs to me that this whole family looks like they have just stepped out of the pages of a magazine.
Another woman stands up. She’s almost identical to the mother of the baby except her hair is a little bit shorter.
She must be the godmother. And finally, Joshua gets up and heads to the front of the church with the others.
I had no idea he was going to be the baby’s godfather.
When everyone who needs to be at the front is there lined up beside the font, the priest does a Bible reading and then a couple of prayers to which we, the congregation, have to reply amen when he says it. Finally, it’s time for what I think of as the actual christening of the baby.
“Parents, Mitchell and Hannah, will you, with God’s help, guide Oscar in the Christian faith, pray for him, and support him in his life’s journey?” the priest says.
“We will,” Mitchell and Hannah reply simultaneously.
“Godparents, Joshua and Helen, will you, with God’s help, support Mitchell and Hannah on their journey to raise Oscar and to provide him with a good, Christian upbringing?” the priest says.
“We will,” Joshua and Helen say in unison, and I smile at the thought of Joshua being involved in this baby’s life, but then I remember my own baby, sitting at home with my mom because her father doesn’t know about her, and I feel a spike of resentment in my chest. I have to remind myself that it’s not like Joshua has rejected Autumn.
He doesn’t know she even exists, let alone that she’s his.
Seeing his beaming pride as the ceremony goes on makes me want to tell him, but there’s a huge difference between being a godfather, which is mostly symbolic, and being an actual father which is one of the biggest responsibilities someone can have.
I’m pulled out of my thoughts and back into the moment by the indignant cries of baby Oscar as the priest, who is now holding him over the font, pours water over his forehead.
“I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” he says.
There’s another prayer, and then the parents and godparents return to their seats. I smile at Joshua as he sits back down. He returns my smile.
“You did good,” I whisper.
“I only had to say two words,” he whispers back with a laugh.
“May God’s grace and peace be with Oscar and with all of us. Amen,” the priest says.
“Amen,” we all say back to him.
“Let us now go forth and live our lives in faith, hope and love,” the priest says and then he turns from the font and walks through a small door signaling that the service is concluded. I can’t say I’m sorry it’s over.
Now it’s time to head to the party and let my hair down and have a good time and not think about Joshua’s beaming pride up there at the font and let this influence my decision to keep Autumn a secret from him.