Chapter 24
Twenty-Four
She belongs here.
The thought arrived and settled in his bones like truth.
Austin peered down at Deena as she slept, curled against his chest, one leg draped over his thigh, and her hair spilling across his shoulder like lava.
Their breakfast had arrived as he ordered, but he felt guilty about waking her up.
She looked peaceful, and mesmerizingly beautiful.
He tightened his arm around her waist, drawing her closer. She sighed in her sleep, nuzzling into the hollow of his throat, and something in his chest cracked open.
“Dee,” he whispered softly in her ear, “it’s time to wake up. You need to eat and regain your energy.”
“Hmm,” she mumbled grumpily.
Austin smirked.
She’s not a morning person.
Their tea steamed beside him. The aroma of the warm rolls, butter, jam, sliced fruit, and a small pot of chocolate made his stomach rumble. And Austin had no intention of letting it go cold.
He brushed a kiss to Deena’s temple.
She stirred and her lashes fluttered until her green eyes finally opened. A flush climbed up her throat and Austin imagined that perhaps the enormity of what had just passed between them was settling in for her too.
“Good morning,” he murmured.
“Morning.” Her voice was husky from sleep and last night’s cries of jubilation. She started to shift away but he tightened his arm around her.
“Stay.”
She hesitated, then relaxed again. “You are too warm.”
Austin laughed. “And you must be hungry.”
She looked ready to say no, but the smell of the food was too heavy in her chamber.
“You arranged breakfast?” she asked, completely stunned. “What time is it?”
“It is way beyond time for breakfast, so I had it brought up to us.” Austin grinned.
He was proud of his decision. He never stayed long enough with a woman to have breakfast with her.
“Did the maid see us?”
When he saw Deena’s stricken expression, he could not help but laugh.
“Dee, we are married. Or did you forget?” He raised a brow at her.
“Oh, yes…I suppose I did forget.” She looked embarrassed.
Austin reached for the tray as Deena sat up straight and clumsily covered herself with the sheet.
“Tea first, or chocolate?” He struggled not to look at her perfect body outlined beneath the silk sheets.
“Chocolate,” she said immediately.
Austin’s lips twitched as he poured a cup, added a spoonful of sugar the way he’d seen her do at the breakfast table, and handed it to her. She took it with both hands, cradling it like something precious.
Deena cleared her throat. “Last night was—”
“Exquisite,” Austin finished for her. She smiled, but it did not reach her eyes. “Were you about to say something else?”
“No, I still…feel like I should do more for you.” Her hands trembled slightly as she held the cup.
Austin steadied her by placing his hand gently over hers. “I do not expect you to return the favor, especially when it comes to…that.”
Deena visibly relaxed. “But what if you regret it, and what if someone offers to…satisfy you?”
“I do not regret last night, or any other night spent with you.” He thought back to the meadow, where it all began.
He spoke the truth but not the whole truth. Austin did not want to admit that no one else would satisfy him ever again. It was too soon to confess that.
“We should eat; you will need your energy for the day.” He winked at her; Deena blushed and nodded eagerly.
They ate in companionable silence for a while, bread torn and shared, jam licked from fingers, fruit fed to each other between soft laughs.
Every brush of their fingertips felt sensual, and every shared glance carried the weight of last night.
Austin could hardly believe that a simple breakfast could feel so…
intimate. He did not want to leave her side and could lay with her the entire day.
“It is nice when we team up instead of… being against each other,” Deena said suddenly.
Austin set his teacup back on the tray, confused by her words. “I was never against you, Dee.”
She looked up at him. “It felt like it. For a while.”
He frowned at her.
“I think you are mistaken. It was you who was against me.” He pointed out, and this time she frowned at him.
“But that was never my intention,” she argued.
“Yes, but do not mistake your actions with mine. I was merely against the choice you thought you had to make. But I was never against you.” Austin did not mean for his voice to rise, but he was tired of being wrongfully accused.
Deena’s gaze dropped. “My choice?”
“Yes, your choice to either save your friend or ruin me.” Austin slowly began to regret bringing up the topic as Deena crossed her arms over her chest.
She was starting to retreat from him again, but he had to voice the truth.
“Did you forget that I did not have a choice?” she muttered under her breath.
“It will do you well to learn that I remember everything.”
“Then why do I feel like you’re accusing me now?” she shot back.
“It is you who pointed out that we were against each other. Were you not the one who planned to betray me in the very beginning?” His voice stayed gentle, but the frustration he hid beneath the surface was starting to rise.
Deena’s head snapped towards him. “Austin, do you still not understand the predicament I was in?”
He ignored her question. “Dee, if you did not find out that I was the Velvet Duke, would you not have betrayed me?”
She flinched. The answer was clear in her expression and Austin felt the unusual yet familiar pang of hurt.
“I do not blame you. You thought you had no other path.” He reached to tilt her chin up, but she avoided his touch.
“I chose this path and look at what has happened? I have lost all contact with my friend. Although I did not betray you, I did betray someone. I betrayed Penelope.” Deena’s voice cracked.
Austin felt his heart clench as she sniffled beside him. He could not stand to see her cry. He kept his eyes lowered and hands to himself, afraid to reach out to her.
“Dee, answer me honestly. Would you forever regret the choice you made?” he asked her quietly, but she remained silent. “Will you always regret this marriage because it did not save your friend?”
Austin felt a cold sense of dread creep up on him.
“I…” she began softly, “…I do not know what to say.”
He exhaled, a long-tired breath of air as he pulled the sheet off and got up from the bed. He had to get away from her to think, to set boundaries in a marriage that clearly was not genuine to the both of them. Deena shifted behind him.
“Where are you going?” she asked, and he realized the panic in her voice.
But he refused to trust her.
“I will be busy for the rest of the day. Do not wait for me.”
Austin dressed quickly.
“Austin, I—”
“Deena, let us be clear,” Austin spoke coldly.
“In choosing to marry me you chose to save yourself too. I was never against you. Penelope could have been saved but you chose to not betray me, and I am not sure why. I am grateful for your decision but if you believe that for one second I was ever against you, then you are wrong. And if you regret this marriage because of your friend’s ruin, I cannot help you there because I have helped you enough. ”
Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Austin turned away from her and left without a second glance.
Deena sat alone in the vast drawing room as afternoon sun began to set.
A fire had been burned low, and she instructed her maid to not make dinner when there was no sign of Austin’s return.
Deena had not moved from the armchair since the clock struck six.
Her heart leapt when she heard a soft knock at the door and she immediately stood up.
“You may enter,” she called out.
The footman, Ryan, entered and Deena’s hopefulness faded away when she saw his expression.
Ryan shifted nervously. “No word yet, Your Grace.”
“Thank you, Ryan.” She sat heavily onto the armchair and placed her face into her hands.
She heard the footman retreating and stopped him.
“Did he tell you anything, anything at all, about his whereabouts?”
“The Duke said only that he would be away on business, Your Grace.” He looked around nervously and Deena felt that he was not speaking the truth.
His loyalty, along with the other servants, remained with the Duke and no one else. Not even his Duchess.
Deena sighed and dismissed the footman.
Business.
The word troubled her.
She had spent the day in a haze of forced activity: reading in the library until the words blurred, pacing the long gallery until her feet ached, staring out the window at the darkening square as though she could will a familiar tall figure to appear on the pavement below.
Every time the front knocker sounded her heart leapt; every time it was only a messenger with parcels or a tradesman’s bill, it sank again.
Now the clock showed half-past eight and since their wedding night, Austin never stayed out this late without sending word to her.
Deena pressed her palms to her eyes. The memories of last night played behind her lids. She had woken in his arms feeling close to peace. And then she had opened her mouth and ruined it.
Damn me!
She had regretted their argument, but it was too late. He was gone.
Is he with another woman like I predicted? Is she giving him what I could not? Or did he simply leave me?
She stood abruptly; her heart thudded with fear. Deena was not sure why it mattered if he left her, but I did.
She decided then and there that she could not stay here another hour imagining the worst. She crossed to the bellpull and tugged it sharply.
Ryan appeared within moments, expression carefully neutral.
“Your Grace?”
“Prepare me a carriage,” she said.
“At this time, Your Grace?” He looked at her with concern.
“Yes, I want to see my brother at Greystone estate.” She left no room for questions.
Ryan hesitated only for a second. “Yes, Your Grace.”