Chapter 75 Sophie
S OPHIE
There’s a gentle knock on Sophie’s door. She freezes. Rocco’s already been up here knocking twice. She can’t let herself see him or she’ll weaken.
She’s leaving Venice today. Rocco has the potential to ruin her life, which means that even though it kills her to leave, she knows she has to. The knocking continues.
‘Sophie? It is me, Loretta. Can I bring you something to eat?’
Sophie stays still and doesn’t answer.
‘Cara? Please. Open the door.’
When Loretta Bianchi tells you to open the door, you do it. Although she hates anyone seeing her without make-up, Sophie obediently unlocks the door and stands there, barefoot in her spotty pyjamas and white hotel robe, facing Loretta.
‘Ah, bella, don’t cry.’ Loretta closes the gap between them and opens her arms.
For someone so lean, Loretta hugs fiercely. She points to the suitcase that lies open on the unmade bed, surrounded by a mountain of clothes. ‘You are leaving?’
‘I’ve booked a flight home this afternoon. I can’t get involved with Rocco, knowing he’s got an addiction. And it’s awful because ...’ A sob escapes her. ‘Because I love him. I’ve fallen in love with him. Already. And I love being here, with all of you. The happiest I’ve ever been is in the kitchen cooking with your family.’
‘Please stay. All of us want you to stay.’
‘I can’t. One unreliable person in my life is enough.’
‘Rocco is not like your mother, Sophie,’ Loretta says gently. ‘He is recovered. He is very, very reliable.’
‘How can I guarantee he won’t relapse?’ Sophie heaves. ‘I can’t take the risk.’
‘You are right, we cannot predict the future.’ Loretta walks over to the window and perches herself on the ledge. ‘But Rocco is doing everything he can to stay sober.’
‘He said that. How do I know it’s true?’
‘Because I am telling you it is true. He never puts himself in a situation where he is tempted to drink. He never misses the AA meetings, even though he has to travel far to attend. He even went to a meeting this week. He knows how much he hurt our family, and he is truly remorseful.’ She pauses. ‘And I know, of course, that it is a risk to love him. But that is love , Sophie. Loving anyone is a risk. I cannot tell you what to do. If you want to leave, of course I cannot make you stay. But I promise you that Rocco is a good and dependable person. I am not just saying this because he is my son. He is the kindest man you will ever meet.’
Far out! It’s not Rocco she needed to worry about weakening her resolve, it’s Loretta effing Bianchi!
Sophie wipes her tears. ‘You’re wasted in this hotel, Loretta. You should have been a barrister.’
Loretta smiles. ‘He loves you. I have never seen him this way with anyone before. Not even his wife.’
Sophie’s heart squeezes. ‘Really?’
‘Yes, really.’
Sophie picks at the skin around a fingernail. ‘I’m so hurt that he offered her a room here. It’s really hard for me to open up to anyone about my past, but I told him everything. Then he invited her to stay.’
‘Ah, this is something you have to understand about Italians. We lose our heads when it comes to hospitality. He would have offered Putin a bed. He is heartbroken this morning. You should see him.’ Loretta gestures towards the door. ‘He was basting the pastries as solemnly as a mortician preparing a body for an open casket. He misses you. And he is very worried he has lost you.’
Sophie chews her lip. ‘I’ve already booked my ticket home.’
‘You still have time to cancel it.’
Sophie doesn’t answer.
Loretta walks to the door. ‘You cannot think clearly on an empty stomach. Let me bring you up some food. Then you can think about what you want to do. And I can arrange for your mother to go to another hotel today. But you know, perhaps being here, away from home, it is a chance to have a talk with her.’
‘I’m not sure she’s ready to hear what I have to say.’
‘Try,’ Loretta insists.
And because Loretta is essentially a deity who must be obeyed at all times, Sophie nods. ‘Okay, I’ll give it a go.’ She throws a look towards the door. ‘I just need her to sleep off yesterday first, then I’ll go and talk to her.’
‘So you are not leaving?’
‘No. You’re right, again . I have to give Rocco a chance.’
‘I can tell Rocco to come up and see you? Please say yes. I cannot look at his face so sad for another minute.’
‘You can send him up here only if he brings a slice of your marantega cake.’
‘I will give him a plate of all the pastries for you, not just the cake.’
Sophie smiles back at the woman who already knows the way to her heart better than almost anyone.