33. Nolan
33
NOLAN
S he’s right not to trust us; even I don’t know what the hell we’re doing with her. I consider Juliet’s words as I jog towards the gym. Lex is already there in the locker rooms when I arrive. His back is to me as he yanks his t-shirt over his head and tosses it into his open locker. I glance down the row of doors and into the adjoining shower room, but for now, it appears, we’re alone. With a sigh, I let the door close behind me and move slowly towards Lex.
“Hey, man…” My head throbs as I approach.
Lex stiffens at the sound of my voice, his back muscles tightening in bunching jumps before he reaches into his locker and yanks out his practice jersey. He’s angry and I get it. He’s so close to having what he’s always wanted—a way out of Silverwood and … her. It’s not the escape that has him so insane, it’s the girl.
Juliet.
“I know you’re upset because I’m not letting you spend time with her, but?—”
He whirls on me, pinning me with a look so dark it’s closer to that of a mad animal than a human being, and I shut right the fuck up. “That is not what I’m pissed about,” he snaps. The jersey dangles from one hand, his fist gripping it as if he’s strangling it in lieu of me.
I close my eyes. “It…” What do I say? That last night was an accident? It wasn’t. I’d been one hundred percent sober and I liked it. I wanted it then and I want it again. I reopen my eyes. When I do, Lex is staring back at me, nostrils flaring as if he can smell her sex on me. Logically, I know that doesn’t make sense, but ever since last night, I swear I feel as if I’m branded by her.
“I don’t want her to drive us apart,” I tell him. “I won’t let her.”
“I don’t care,” Lex bites out, “that you fucked her. I care that you won’t let me fuck her too.”
My hands fist at my sides. “I did not fuck her.” Each word comes out through clenched teeth.
Lex drops his shirt and steps up to me, our chests brushing against one another as he gets in my face. “She was mine first,” he snaps. “I should’ve been the first one to have her.”
He’s not listening to me. He’s breathing heavy, chest rising and falling as he, too, seems to rein in the desire for blood and violence. “Who said you get to decide who does what? Who takes her to work? Who takes her home? Who fucks her?”
I narrow my eyes on his. “You did,” I bite out. “You and Gio. You know how we work. You never had a fucking problem with me calling the shots until her. If you want to keep her all to yourself then why haven’t you made a move before now, huh?”
Lex doesn’t respond. Of course, he doesn’t. “Because you’re scared,” I tell him. “You’ve been obsessed with her for thirteen fucking years and not once have you done anything more than watch and jack off to her pictures in your fucking house.”
The punch is expected. I let it come, not even bothering to avoid it as it sends my head snapping to the side. “Fuck you!” Lex bursts out. “I’m not a virgin.”
Slowly, I turn back to face him. I work my jaw, tasting blood on the inside of my cheek. “No,” I say. “You’re not a virgin. You pay hookers and strippers to come to your house and dress up as your little obsession so you don’t have to step over whatever barrier you’ve built for yourself. You’re living in a fantasy when it comes to her and now that she’s dropped into your reality, you don’t know how to deal.”
A muscle jumps in Lex’s jaw. My own aches. Fuck, but he hits hard.
“You want to piss on her too?” I ask. “Mark her as yours so every asshole in school knows it? Think she’ll let you when she finds out about that room of yours?”
The snarl that escapes him is more predator than man. I hold my arms out on either side of my body. “Do you want to talk?” I demand. “Or do you just want to hit me again?”
“I want to do a hell of a lot more than fucking hit you, Pierce,” Lex bites out. He only ever uses my last name when he’s pissed as hell, and for what it’s worth, this kind of anger from him is rare. Unfortunately, that only makes it all the more dangerous.
“Then let’s go,” I offer. “But just know that even if we beat each other bruised and bloody, we’ll still have this talk after.”
Lex takes a step back, rocking onto the balls of his feet as if he’s contemplating my offer. I watch him and I wait, my own body tensing as I take in each minuscule twitch of his form. When he doesn’t move after several moments, I still don’t relax. I’ve seen Lex fight and he’s a nasty, manipulative son of a bitch. He’ll make you think he’s done, that he’s letting you go—and then he’ll go for the kill. It’s why Darrio likes using him for enforcer work so much. It’s why he likes using all of us for enforcer work—we’re all bastards when it comes to survival.
“Why Gio?” he demands, and I know what he’s really asking. Why not him?
I release a slow breath and let my body finally relax. “Because we needed to talk.”
“About what?”
I take a step towards him and then think better of it, but unwilling to back down, I go still, remaining right where I am.
"I didn't fuck her last night," I tell him. Truth. "I wouldn't do that to you." Lie. What a fucking liar I am. I wanted to have her last night and only by the grace of some unseen God had I managed to drag my desire back from the brink.
I could have taken her so easily. She'd been so open and ready for me, her wet slit practically weeping for a good, hard ride. As ashamed as I am to admit my folly, it wasn't Lex's obsession with the girl that stopped me, but the bruises hidden beneath her clothes. Tit for tat, my ass.
I'd wanted to do more than just devour Juliet Donovan's cunt; I wanted to flip her over and fuck her hard enough to pile drive her through a damn wall. With my hands on her skin, moving over the places that fucker had touched her before she'd killed him, I'd finally understood why Lex is and has been six feet under her thrall for so fucking long.
Juliet Donovan is pain personified and men like us love a little bit of agony.
Lex doesn't move. He just continues to stand there, staring at me as if he can see past all of my bullshit and right to the heart of the problem. I wanted to fuck Juliet Donovan last night. If it'd just been a fuck with no emotion attached, I might have done it, but for some fucking reason, Silverwood's public enemy number one has scrambled my fucking brains.
I reach up and drag a hand down my face, releasing a low curse.
Honesty. That's how our friendship works. I never keep shit from Lex and G. They know all of my dirty little secrets and I know theirs. This can't be any different. She can't be any different.
"I didn't fuck her," I repeat my words from earlier as if they will lessen the power of the next ones, "but I did ... go down on her."
Lex barrels forward and I don't try to stop him as he grabs ahold of my shirt and slams me back into the wall of lockers. With dark eyes locked not on mine, but on my lips instead, he heaves great breaths as he lowers himself. When you're faced with monsters of all kinds in your childhood, you learn when it's best to remain still and when you should run. Right now, I know better than to move a single inch. I'd let my body atrophy and turn to stone right here before I'd break the spell that has fallen over my friend.
"You ... put your mouth on her?" he asks.
"Yes."
His eyes widen slightly, nostrils flaring as he pulls in more oxygen, as if he can smell the taste of her even after hours have passed. "You wouldn't let me take her home last night." A statement, not a question.
I answer it as if it were one anyway. "You couldn't handle it." If Juliet Donovan disappears now, no matter that ninety-nine percent of the town wants her dead and gone, people will ask questions. As far as I've heard, her father's old partner is still trying to get her to stay with him. If anything, Morpheus Calloway will look for her if someone decides to lock her up and keep her captive in their basement.
Not that Lex has a basement, but he does have a very nice—hidden—house that has a fuck ton of cameras, a closet full of bondage because he doesn’t like the hookers touching him when he fucks them, and a shit load of mental obsessive issues.
Lex’s upper lip curls back and he continues to stare at my mouth as if he's debating whether he wants to rip my face off or kiss me. I close my eyes. There's no attraction between us, but when it comes to Juliet, Lex isn’t always sane. I doubt he's ever been. If it brings him closer to the object of his affection, I have no doubt that he'd do any number of things.
"I brushed my teeth this morning," I warn him. "You won't get anything of her from me."
The curse that erupts from him is knowing but no less disappointed. He releases me with a sharp shove against the lockers and my eyes open to find him stalking away from me and reaching for the football jersey on the floor. He pulls it on over his head.
"She's not yours," he grits out.
I hate to say it—I really fucking do—but someone needs to remind him of the other truth he refuses to admit. "She's not yours either."
Silence. Stone. Cold. Fucking. Silence.
"I can help you." Damn me, but I'm going to. Lex is my brother, not by blood but by circumstance and she's the only thing he's ever truly wanted.
Gun metal gray eyes swing my way. He doesn’t say anything but waits for me to continue. “You’re not the only one that wants her anymore.” Neither am I. All three of us want her.
I don’t know why it has to be her for him, or me, or Gio. She doesn’t share our pasts. She doesn’t know us. We hardly know her. Perhaps, it’s part of human nature to desire that which will hurt us. She’s venom in our veins and an addiction none of us can let go of.
"There's nothing that will change my mind," Lex says. His eyes lift to mine again. "I want her enough to do whatever it takes."
I nod. I’d known as much. Juliet Donovan might not be her father, but she's just as dangerous.
"Are you going to get in my way?" Lex asks. "Or are you going to join me?”
“So, you’re saying yes?”
"I’m saying this is what I’ve wanted from the beginning so, yes, Nolan. Whatever. It. Takes ." He repeats the words with a note of finality.
“Okay, then.” I guess I have my answer. I’ve seen the way Gio looks at her. I know he won’t be hard to convince, but now we need to discuss our other important matter.
“Have you heard from her father lately?”
Lex grunts as he turns back to his locker and shucks his jeans. I take a seat on the bench. “Allen Donovan has been in touch,” he answers. “I don’t have anything for him yet, but I know his lawyer has been emailing Juliet regularly to get her to visit him in prison. The longer he goes without hearing from her, though, the more desperate he seems.”
“He has a lot to lose,” I say.
“He’s already lost everything,” Lex replies. He grabs his football pants and pulls them on one leg at a time. “I don’t have any evidence that will help him yet.”
“Let me know when you do,” I say. “The whole town is following the story and his trial is coming up in a matter of weeks.” Eight to be exact. Two months and then Allen Donovan’s face will be splashed across the media all over again—and no doubt Juliet’s will be too.
“What about that other matter?” I ask, hedging at the events from last night as I cast a look over to the door. It’s not locked, but everyone else is at practice right now. No one else should be here. As it stands, I won’t be going and Coach will only have Lex to beat on for being late.
“It’s done,” Lex says, tying the front of his pants and reaching for his cleats. “No one will tie Otis to Juliet.”
"Did you find anything on him that might explain the attack?"
With a shake of his head, Lex turns away once more. "No, but I know where he was staying. He was transient for the most part. He was bunking with some of the meth heads by the old train tracks in the abandoned car lot back there.”
“What else do you know about Otis?”
He looks over his shoulder as he speaks. “He wasn't necessarily a violent offender. A piece of shit and an addict, but he had no history of violence against women or rape.”
Which can only mean one thing. Otis attacked Juliet because someone likely paid him to.
“We’ll figure it out,” I say, stretching to my feet with my arms over my head. My back muscles pop and I repress a groan. “I’ve got to head to work. Darrio has me running some errands this afternoon.” I eye Lex as he yanks on his shoes and quickly does up the laces. Without giving myself a chance to think too hard, I say, “Why don’t you pick Jules up from work and drop her off at my house later?”
His head lifts, his expression morphing into one of excitement. Like a kid on Christmas. “Just me?” he asks.
I nod. “Yeah, but don’t fuck around,” I say. “Text me when you pick her up.”
Lex agrees readily, his whole demeanor changing in an instant. Lightness exudes from him as he hurriedly finishes getting ready for practice despite the fact that he’s a solid half-hour late. Even if he knows Coach is going to murder him on the field for tardiness, now that he knows he’ll see Juliet afterward, he doesn’t even seem to care.
I shake my head as I leave the locker room. I almost pity the girl. She doesn't realize it yet, but Juliet Donovan has attracted a monster and he has every intention of caging her. Before too long, the people of Silverwood will forget what her father did and who her father is. They'll forget all about her, and then he'll strike.