Chapter 6 Confessions
CHAPTER SIX
CONFESSIONS
Monday morning, Darcy rose before the rest of the household stirred. Instead of waiting for his host to rise, he went straight to the stables and ordered his horse saddled. Though it was his habit to ride early, this morning he chose a different course—towards Longbourn by way of Oakham Mount.
The pretext was simple enough: Elizabeth had mentioned her fondness for early walks, and he told himself he wished to speak with her further about their courtship.
Yet his heart betrayed the truth. He longed only to see her again.
The hours of the previous evening, spent in nothing more than dull conversation with Bingley and the Hursts, had been an ordeal, his mind restless and fixed upon her.
He yearned for the brightness of her smile, the quickness of her wit, the warmth of her presence.
To be near her again was no longer a mere desire, but an irresistible necessity.
To his delight, he met with her before he had ridden very far. He had made his way towards the small hillock she had mentioned and found her as she climbed to its zenith.
“Good morning, Elizabeth,” he called as he approached, careful not to startle her.
She turned to face him, watching him as he dismounted. “Good morning, William,” she replied, her face turning a delightful shade of pink as it had done each time she used his Christian name.
He supposed that eventually she would become accustomed to addressing him informally, but for now, he savoured each time she reacted thus.
Before he could say more, Elizabeth regarded him with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Tell me, sir—now that I have revealed my preferred path, am I to find you here often, or have you only risen early this morning for some particular purpose?” she teased.
Darcy grinned as he closed the remaining distance between them, offering her his arm. Together they walked the last few steps to the rise that afforded the finest view of the countryside. They lingered there, arms linked, for several moments before he finally answered.
“If you would wish for my company, I would certainly join you,” he said slowly, his voice coloured with hesitation. “But if you prefer solitude, I will stay away.”
When he did not add more, Elizabeth turned her face towards him, her brows raised in expectation.
“You clearly have something else upon your mind, sir,” she prompted, her tone playful. “Pray say it, whatever it may be.”
Darcy’s lips curved in the faintest shadow of a smile as his eyes met hers. “There is more I wish to say… though I am uncertain how you will respond. I have no right to make my request, yet—” He broke off, faltering.
Elizabeth stopped, compelling him to halt as well. “William,” she said gently, her smile softening, “say what you will, and we shall discuss it. I promise I shall try not to leap to conclusions.”
Darcy gave her arm the faintest squeeze.
“I worry about you walking alone so often,” he murmured, lifting his free hand to still her protest by lightly covering her lips.
“You must understand—I am guardian to my much younger sister, Georgiana, and it is my duty to protect her. What I feel for you is altogether different, yet I am accustomed to caring for those entrusted to me. And you…” His voice softened, his gaze lingering on her face with warmth.
“You have become someone I care for most deeply.
“It may be true that you have wandered these paths for years without incident. But now the militia is encamped nearby. We know little of these men beyond what they say of themselves, and while officers ought to be gentlemen, that is not always so. Nor, indeed, do all gentlemen hold themselves to the same standard of conduct. I met a few of them the other night, and while most seemed honourable, there were a few I would not trust near my sister.”
Elizabeth nodded, considering his words for a moment. He had asked nothing of her, merely expressed a worry that she could be unsafe walking alone. With that in mind, she carefully asked him what he suggested.
“Would it be unwelcome if I arranged for a footman to meet you outside Longbourn on the mornings you choose to walk? He would not need to wear my livery, and if there is already a manservant in your household who might serve that purpose, I would not presume to interfere. Still, I would feel far easier knowing you were accompanied by someone on your walks.”
For another long moment, Elizabeth considered his request. “I walk out nearly every morning when the weather is clear,” she responded. “Usually, I leave the house just after dawn so I can arrive just as the sun is peeking over the horizon.”
Darcy nodded and began walking again, drawing Elizabeth a little more closely and placing his free hand on hers on his arm. “Is there someone at Longbourn who could accompany you?”
She shook her head. “We have a few manservants, but none who could be spared at that time of day. I will accept your offer of an escort, but how will he arrive before dawn?”
“I will ensure he has adequate light to find his way,” Darcy replied. “Besides, the full moon was just a few days ago. I thank you for allowing me this opportunity to assist you and to see to your safety.”
Elizabeth smiled at him softly. “I appreciate your making the request and not merely attempting to order me about,” she said, her voice becoming teasing again. “I can assure you that had you demanded it of me, I would not have so readily agreed.”
Darcy nodded thoughtfully, releasing a slow breath before he spoke again.
“As I said, I have the care of my sister, who is soon to be sixteen. I have long been accustomed to guiding her—not quite issuing commands, but advising her as a father might, expecting her obedience because I believed I knew best. Yet of late, our exchanges have altered. There is less instruction now, and more genuine conversation. Our relationship is shifting, particularly in the wake of all that transpired this summer.”
Elizabeth kept walking, turning her head to study him as she considered his words. “You did speak briefly of her trials. I suppose that is the reason for the change,” she said softly, her tone more reflective than probing.
They walked in silence for several moments before Darcy spoke again.
“Yes,” he said slowly, letting out a breath.
“Might I confide the whole of the story to you? It is something that I have spoken to few others about, at least not since the incident occurred. Georgiana knows of it obviously, as does her new companion, but I have yet to be able to confide the whole of it to someone who I can view as a… as a partner, I suppose. Someone who I do not need to worry about how my confession will make them feel.”
“Of course,” she agreed quickly.
He was silent for a long moment before at last he spoke.
“This past summer, I permitted Georgiana to go to Ramsgate with her companion. Richard—my cousin and her co-guardian—agreed she might benefit from managing a small establishment of her own, a first step towards preparing for society. We believed we had chosen wisely when we selected her companion. We believed we had been thorough in investigating the lady and checking her references. We were utterly deceived.”
His voice tightened. “When I arrived earlier than expected, I found her companion had encouraged Georgiana to receive the attentions of a man—a former acquaintance of mine—without ever consulting Richard or myself. Worse still, she had filled my sister’s head with talk of love, pressing her to agree to an elopement.
The man—George Wickham—had persuaded her that I would welcome such a connexion. ”
Darcy abruptly released Elizabeth’s arm and began to pace before her, agitation clear in every movement.
“By sheer chance, I arrived only a day or two before they were to flee. The companion all but turned white at the sight of me, and when Georgiana confessed her plans, the truth was plain. Her companion had been complicit in Wickham’s scheme from the beginning, the two of them conspiring to secure my sister’s dowry of thirty thousand pounds. ”
Elizabeth gasped. “How is Miss Darcy now?”
“Heartbroken and ashamed,” Darcy replied.
“She has a new companion, one recommended by my aunt, the Countess of Matlock, who had been the companion to the daughter of a friend of hers. Georgiana and I spoke a little after the incident, but she wished to go to Pemberley for a time. I escorted her there and after only a week or two, I received Bingley’s letter about his leasing an estate.
In the spring, I had offered to join him when he finally found something to lease or purchase so I could teach him about managing the estate.
While I had wished to decline, Georgiana encouraged me to go, assuring me that she would be well enough. ”
“Which adds to the reason you were determined to be displeased when you arrived here in Hertfordshire,” Elizabeth concluded. “Does Miss Darcy not have any female family members or friends she can confide in?”
Darcy shook his head. “She was at school for a year but made few friends there, and none of any consequence. Her only female cousin is Anne, who is nearly my age. My aunt still insists my mother intended us to marry; no such understanding ever existed. Anne and I are agreed that we should not suit, and her mother’s expectations have kept us from any real closeness.
Georgiana avoids my aunt whenever she can. ”
Laughing lightly, she teased, hoping to lighten the mood, “She and my mother would make quite the pair since both appear to hear only what they wish.”