Chapter 30 – Kat
THIRTY
KAT
The person sitting next to me taps their pen against the desk in a steady rhythm. Each tap echoes throughout the crowded lecture hall, making it hard for me to concentrate on the professor’s words. I try my best to focus on the front of the room, but the tapping continues, growing more and more irritating with each passing minute.
Whatever—it’s syllabus week anyway. I stare down at the paper in front of me as it spells out the rest of the semester bullet point by bullet point. Social Media Strategies was one of the few remaining options to fill my major’s final communications class requirement.
Although I set up social media accounts for my photography business, I haven’t posted yet. Most of my portfolio is either stuff I’ve done for school or random headshots like the ones I took for Tanner last semester, so I don’t have much to share.
Tanner .
God, what he said the other night still has me reeling and I can’t figure out how I feel about it.
Yes, he’s hot. I’d have to be blind not to see that—even Marcus will admit Tanner is hot and he’s a heterosexual man. Some things are as much a fact as “the sky is blue.” But sleeping with Tanner? That sounds like a one-way ticket to ruining our friendship, and I can’t let that happen. He’s far too important to me to risk everything for the sake of getting laid.
So it’s decided: no having sex with Tanner.
Why am I weirdly disappointed by that decision? Oh, right—because it’s all I’ve been thinking about for the last four days.
My thoughts wander to Tanner’s other suggestion from that night, the part that should cause me anxiety but by comparison feels strangely safe.
Tanner had a point when it comes to my brother. It isn’t Patrick’s fault that our shared parent left me to raise him, even if that knowledge lingers in the back of my mind every time I read his letter, which I’ve done roughly thirty-three times since it arrived a week and a half ago.
Professor Montoya’s bellowing voice rips me out of my thoughts. “In preparation for Friday’s class, please create an Instagram account and a Facebook page for your business. It doesn’t have to be real, but it can be if you are on the entrepreneurial path. Just be sure to have both set up before Friday morning’s class, as it is necessary for your next assignment.”
I step out of Franklin Hall just as rain starts to drizzle down from the sky, thankfully barely a peppering of water atop my head as I make my way back to central campus.
Jenna meets me in the student center for a quick bite before we head back to the house. We’ve been debating whether we want to go to the Dusty Armadillo tonight, since it’s the first Wednesday night of the semester and, thus, resident college night. We still haven’t decided, but if I’m being honest, I don’t know if I’m even up for going out.
“Did you talk to your mom about that wedding she wanted you to shoot?” Jenna asks as we near the front of the line to order the same basic bagels with cream cheese that we’ve been getting since freshman year. If it isn’t broke, why fix it, ya know?
I don’t look away from my phone as I respond to my mom’s text message. “Peeking at my phone, are we?”
Jenna laughs. “Usually, yes. But that was just a lucky guess. So, are you going to do it?”
“Yeah, I think so. She just needs to confirm my rate with the bride.” We approach the counter and I order an everything bagel with cream cheese while Jenna orders a plain bagel with strawberry cream cheese.
We find a table against the far wall of windows, thankful that the rain held off until we were inside. The light drizzle has transformed into a complete torrential downpour.
“So, what’s the plan for tonight?” Jenna asks before shoving almost half her bagel in her mouth.
“Are you afraid the bagel is going to run away if you don’t eat it in three bites?”
“Fuck off, I’m hungry,” she mumbles. “Answer my question—did you want to go to the Dusty tonight?”
I shrug, taking a normal-person-sized bite of my own bagel.
“By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how it thrills me.” She does her best Miranda Priestly impression.
I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. I’m not really feeling up to it.” I intentionally avoid eye contact as I take another bite of my bagel.
“Kat.” She snaps her fingers in front of me, an annoyed yet concerned expression on her face.
“What?” I say.
“You didn’t go out with us at all this weekend. It’s our senior year. I’m not going to push you to do something that you’re not comfortable with, but I also don’t want you to regret letting our last year of college pass you by because Elijah is an asshole.”
She has a point, but I still find myself searching for another reason to tell her no. When I can’t think of anything, I do the next best thing: I deflect.
“Tanner told me he wants to have sex with me.”
Jenna’s eyes go wide, wider than I think I’ve ever seen them. Her voice squeaks, pitching upward as she all but yells, “Katarina Emma Lyn, way to bury the goddamned lead! He said that? Like, he told you, ‘Kat, I want to have sex with you’?”
“Well…no.”
“So, what did he say?”
“He said that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else and that if I need to use someone to get past this stuff with Elijah, then I should use him.”
Judging by the gleam in Jenna’s eyes, you’d think it was fucking Christmas. “Are you going to?”
“Going to what?”
“Fuck Tanner. Are you going to fuck Tanner?”
I chew on my bagel dramatically slowly. “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. It sounds like a horrible idea.”
“It sounds like a fantastic idea! Tanner is a smoke show. And from what I’ve heard, his perfect proportions extend past his jawline.”
“Jenna.”
“What?”
“You’re gross.”
“What? It’s vital information that you should have. Or would you prefer it if you didn’t know that Rebecca Ramirez said he has the biggest dick she’s ever seen and accidentally pass that up?”
She’s not wrong; it’s good information to have. So why does my mood sour the moment she reminds me that Tanner slept with Rebecca? Honestly, I don’t love thinking about anyone he’s slept with…because he is my friend. That’s the only reason.
“Either way, I don’t know.”
Jenna huffs before shoving her final bite of bagel into her mouth. As soon as she’s finished chewing, she continues talking. “Well, I think you should do it. Both for reasons of determining whether the rumors are true and because I think it would be good for you to get back out there.”
“I’d hardly call having sex with one of our best friends ‘getting back out there.’” I say, idly toying with my napkin. “Besides, like I said, I haven’t decided what I want to do yet.”
“And the Dusty?”
“Bite me.”
Jenna smiles wide. “So, is that a yes?”
I sigh before popping the last bit of my bagel in my mouth, forcing Jenna to wait through my chewing. By the time I swallow, she’s glaring at me, waiting for a response.
“Fine—it’s a yes.”