Chapter 39 – Kat
THIRTY-NINE
KAT
The moment I reach my bedroom, I pull off my sweaty shorts. I don’t care that it’s October; I’m sweating like a roast hog.
Shucking off the rest of my clothes, I pull an oversized T-shirt from Taylor Swift’s Red tour over my head, a bit thankful that they were out of all the smaller sizes by the time my mom was able to order it online for my Christmas present that year.
It was nice going out with everyone—without Elijah. It was nice to get a glimpse of how things could be if he just wasn’t around.
Surprisingly, Elijah isn’t the one occupying my thoughts this evening. Instead, I found myself constantly drawn to Tanner’s gaze. It could be wishful thinking, but it seemed as though he was looking at me frequently throughout the night. Every time I turned in his direction, his eyes were already locked on me. His intense gaze made me feel simultaneously seen and vulnerable, like there was a spotlight shining on my every move.
Or it could simply have been the fact that the dance floor tends to be where most people look in a line dancing bar and I am simply reading into it; it’s hard to say.
As I enter the kitchen, the chilly air from the refrigerator hits me. I see Tanner leaning against the counter, his bare chest and tanned skin on display. He takes a spoonful of rocky road ice cream and brings it to his lips, closing his eyes in enjoyment. The dim light casts shadows on his face, making him look even more alluring.
“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I joke as I walk over to the cracked refrigerator and grab a bottle of water before closing it tight.
Tanner’s lips curl into a playful grin as his eyes roam down my exposed legs, taking in every inch of skin before traveling back up to meet my gaze. “I have to admit,” he states, “I quite enjoy it, actually.” His voice is low and husky, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Oh, and why is that?” I take a deep breath and feel a surge of unfamiliar confidence coursing through me. I’m not the usual anxious mess I’ve become around him lately, fearing rejection, but rather stride toward him with determination, his eyes seeming to fuel my forward movement.
He just shrugs, his smirk never leaving his lips. “Well, for starters…”
My stomach jumps in anticipation of what he’s going to say. I try but can’t will myself to pry my eyes away from those lips—those lips that have proven to be everything but “just a friend” when pressed against my skin.
“Ah, never mind.” He shrugs again.
Despite his nonchalant response, I can’t ignore the prickle that rises on the back of my neck as his eyes rake down my body once more, this time lingering on my chest .
“No, tell me,” I say breathily. “What makes you enjoy it?”
Tanner considers for a few seconds before setting his bowl of ice cream on the counter. He doesn’t move closer to me, just crosses his arms over his bare chest as he leans against the counter. His intense gaze roams over my body, causing a shiver to run down my spine. My nipples harden under the soft cotton of my shirt, betraying my growing arousal as he takes his time to fully appreciate me.
“I enjoy seeing you like this.”
I can’t shake the feeling that my skin is completely engulfed in flames. “Like what?” I whisper.
“Like no one is going to see you. Like…I get a glimpse of the you that has no plans of being perceived.” He clears his throat before slowly appraising my body once more. “It’s…intoxicating.”
“Oh.”
“Oh.” A faint grin curves his lips. He reaches for his ice cream and raises the spoon to his lips as though he really is completely unaffected. However, before I can descend too far into spiraling over the perceived rejection, he opens his beautiful mouth. “Would you like some ice cream?”
I furrow my brows, my mind racing to understand his question. “Ice cream?”
Tanner chuckles as he says, “Yes, ice cream…” He studies my expression for a short moment before his voice shifts, the sound of his words causing goosebumps to erupt across every exposed expanse of skin. “Come here.”
I do as I’m told without a second thought of protest until I’m inches in front of Tanner. All my confusion melts away as he dips the spoon into the bowl, scooping out a small amount of sugary goodness .
“Open.”
When I again obey, he gently pushes the spoonful of ice cream between my lips. The rich chocolate and marshmallow flavors flood my taste buds, momentarily distracting me from the intense arousal plaguing my body. I savor the sweetness as we stand in silence, each lost in our thoughts.
He doesn’t allow my focus to slip for long, though, because as soon as I move to lick the remaining ice cream from my mouth, Tanner is there, grazing his tongue over the cold, pillowy flesh of my bottom lip, causing my breath to hitch as he takes every last remnant of chocolate for his own.
“Yum,” he grumbles as he reaches for the bowl again, but he doesn’t offer me a bite. This time, he presses the cold spoon to the pressure point below my left ear. The sudden chill sends shivers down my spine and I can’t help but let out a small yelp. Within seconds, the cold sensation subsides as he licks and swirls his tongue over the sensitive spot, making my skin tingle with pleasure. He sucks lightly on the tender flesh, the ice cream long since gone.
Instinctively, my head lolls backward, giving him more access. He doesn’t take advantage, though. He just…stops. He ceases kissing my neck and steps back to lean against the counter once more, moving to take another bite of ice cream.
My mouth grows dry and for the first time probably ever, I don’t know how to react. Negative, positive, jump his bones, be offended that he randomly decided to step back… I am genuinely perplexed, and, based on the look he’s giving me, he can tell.
“Where’s your head at, Kat?” he asks, the calm, domineering man from before nowhere in sight, replaced momentarily by my friend—the one who, no matter what, will always focus his energy on reassuring me and ensuring that whatever he’s doing is exactly what I want.
“I’m wondering why you stopped doing that.”
The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Well, there was no more ice cream on your neck.” I pin him with a blank expression and he instantly laughs. “What? Was that not the purpose? Your neck simply making a lovely way to eat ice cream?”
“I do not find you funny.”
He winks before stepping toward me with a smile. “I’m a little bit funny.”
Hastily abandoning his half-eaten bowl of rocky road on the kitchen counter, he grabs me and presses his lips against mine. The strong flavor of chocolate lingers on his tongue, sending waves of desire coursing through my body.
Without missing a beat, Tanner’s strong arms reach around me, pulling me close to his chest as he lifts me effortlessly. I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling the warmth of his body against mine. His bare chest is peppered with hair, something that I didn’t have time to notice the first time we were together.
He turns us around to set me on the edge of the kitchen counter, but he doesn’t separate our bodies. As soon as my bare ass is flush with the cold countertop, Tanner is pressed firmly against my core. The sensation of his hard length pressed against me leaves me whimpering, wordlessly pleading. He begins kissing down my neck and his hands snake up my thighs to rest against the tiny string attaching my thong on the sides.
Before, it felt like we had all the time in the world—like we could spend hours tangled between the sheets. However, as I feel his cock strain against his sweatpants, pressed flush against the tiny scrap of fabric that is my underwear, my silent pleading shifts.
“Please, Tanner. I can’t take it anymore.”
He gasps slightly as he pulls his mouth away from my neck. “Damn it,” he says with a sigh as he rests his forehead against my shoulder.
“What?”
“I don’t have a condom down here. They’re up in my room.”
Fucking hell . While the idea of him inside me without a barrier is quite possibly the most erotic thought I can imagine, I also don’t want him to feel like I’m pushing something that he’s not comfortable with. I’ve never had sex without a condom, but I’ve been on the pill since I was sixteen and my mom found out my boyfriend and I had sex in the back of his old Nissan and demanded she take me to the doctor, citing something about refusing to allow accidental pregnancy to derail my life.
But we’re friends. Friends who fuck, but friends nonetheless. We made the decision to do this under the pretense of keeping it cut-and-dry. Fulfilling a carnal need with someone you trust. I can’t imagine that, with that in mind, he’d be open to the intimacy of having sex without a condom.
Despite this, I find the words falling past my lips anyway. “I’m on the pill.”
He goes almost completely still and I wish desperately that I could see his face, but it’s obscured with his forehead still on my shoulder. Slowly, he pulls away and his eyes meet mine. “I’ve never had sex without a condom. ”
There it is: the realization that maybe I’m too far in this; that we have drastically different expectations of what this thing between us is. I pushed too far.
“But I’m down to try it,” he adds. “I’m clean, I got tested a few months ago before we had sex the first time, after I brought up the idea. I didn’t want there to be any concern about that.”
“I got tested over the summer…and you know just as well as I do that I haven’t been with anyone else since.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else,” Tanner reassures me, and all I can think is… What?
We never discussed being exclusive. Hell, until tonight I genuinely thought it might have been a one-time thing. I try not to read too much into what that could mean, because it probably doesn’t mean anything, even if I want it to.
“Then it’s decided.” I laugh before looking at him with a stern expression. “Get inside me.”
Tanner doesn’t miss a beat. He peels my underwear down my thighs, reaches into his waistband, and pulls out his cock. It’s been months since the first time and I had almost convinced myself that maybe I’d imagined how big he was.
He moves himself against me and, as his thick, throbbing erection presses against my entrance, I gasp. The anticipation of being filled by him makes my heart race and my body quiver. I can feel the heat radiating off of him as he positions himself between my lips and I know without a doubt that his size was not just my imagination.
I can feel him tremble as he presses past my entrance, but as he pushes deeper into me, any semblance of awareness of my surroundings instantly leaves my mind. All I can think about—all I can feel—is him inside me. The way every nerve ending is set ablaze as he stretches me, the way his fingertips bite into my thigh as he squeezes tight in an effort to not lose control…all of it has me teetering on the edge faster than I ever thought humanly possible.
Once he’s buried to the hilt, I watch as his jaw clenches and he stops. “I’m sorry, I—I need a sec.” The realization that he’s just as affected as I am causes my pussy to clench, which causes him to groan loudly. “If you keep doing that, I am going to come inside you far earlier than either of us would like.”
“Sorry,” I say as my cheeks flush. I’m not, though—I’m not sorry, because the confirmation that I have that effect on him is enough to detonate me like a bomb.
He begins moving again, though tentatively. Circling my clit with his thumb, he increases his pace, but it’s still far more reserved than the last time. It’s as if he’s trying to savor it, like he’s trying to hold onto whatever sliver of control he has to make this last as long as possible.
I press my lips to his, nipping at his bottom lip before releasing it with a pop . Tanner groans, his pace quickening and the circling of his thumb intensifying, yet I can still feel him holding back.
“Tanner?” I ask.
“Hm?”
“Fuck me. I want you to fuck me. Hard.”
He pauses to look at me. “If I do that, I’m going to come really fast, and you haven’t.”
“And I’m telling you that if you let go, I will come in like two-point-five seconds. I’m right there, so fuck me ,” I demand.
This seems to be all he needs. To my delight, he gives in to his carnal desires and thrusts into me with desperate fervor. My body responds immediately, my limbs quivering as pleasure pulses through me like an unstoppable force.
With every thrust, I grow louder, so much so that Tanner lifts his hand to cover my mouth at the exact moment I bite down on my lip to stifle a scream. The intensity builds, threatening to consume us both. Within seconds, my orgasm washes over me, thrusting me into complete and total oblivion.
Tanner’s hands tighten on my hips as he follows me over the edge, his quickening pace matching the frantic beating of my heart. With a final thrust, he buries himself deep inside me and I feel the pulsing release of his climax. The sensation is new to me, but in this moment, there is nothing else more erotic than feeling Tanner lose control and spill himself inside me without holding back. It is an intimate act that bonds us in ways I never thought possible, and while I know I will more than likely freak out over what it could mean tomorrow, right now… holy shit.
“Fuck,” he says with a groan as his head collapses against my chest.
“Yeah,” I gasp.
We stay like this for a few moments before he slowly pulls himself out of me, the sensation of being so thoroughly full replaced by the foreign sensation of his cum dripping out of me. He seems to notice it too, because the moment his eyes find my pussy, the expression on his face is undeniable.
Pure, unadulterated possessiveness.
Tanner pries his eyes away from me and hurries to find an old kitchen towel—one I guarantee we will be throwing away instead of washing and returning to the drawer—and runs it under warm water. Once the towel is sopping wet, he wrings out the excess moisture into the sink and kneels before me .
It’s weirdly intimate, having him clean me up after what we just did. It’s an aspect that I never would have considered, but as he gently wipes the warm cloth over my oversensitive core, I can’t shake the thought that I like this.
I like this a lot, and the idea of telling him that and potentially blowing this whole thing to shit is terrifying.
“We should go to bed,” I suggest.
Tanner nods in agreement and quickly wipes away the remaining evidence before throwing the towel into the trash. Taking my hands, he helps me hop down from the counter, and together we make our way upstairs.
At my bedroom door, just as I reach for the doorknob, exhausted and ready to collapse into my sheets, I feel Tanner’s arms wrap around my middle. Goosebumps erupt on the back of my neck as he presses his lips to my ear, his hot breath instantly rendering my body prepared for round two.
“I don’t think so, sweetheart. My bed, now.”
He wraps his muscular arms around me, lifting me easily off the ground and setting me in front of his bedroom door in the nearly pitch-black hallway. I can’t help but giggle as he playfully swats my behind, urging me toward his bedroom. The door opens with a creak and I can feel the anticipation building as we step inside, the scent of his cologne filling the air, and it’s becoming abundantly clear that he doesn’t care about me being loud one bit.