Chapter 29
Skye
Tess bit her lip. “It can still happen, I think. If you take it at different hours.”
“I didn’t. I have a reminder on my phone.”
“Some medicine can also influence its effectiveness.”
“Like cold medicine?”
Tess nodded. I sat on the couch, trying to remember if I’d taken anything for a cold recently, but I couldn’t. My hands were a little jittery. I grabbed the counter to steady them.
Tess was about to sit next to me, but a customer walked in right then.
I jumped right to my feet, thankful for the distraction.
“Hi! What can we do for you?”
“I loved a bra you had two collections ago. It had something like a stone between the cups.”
“The one where the bra straps resembled feathers?” I asked.
“Exactly.”
“We don’t have it anymore, but we have a similar style. I’ll bring it out to you.”
I was only distracted while I was talking to the customer.
As soon as I was on my own in the back, searching for merchandise, my thoughts were a blur.
And my feelings were all over the place.
I couldn’t make sense of them. My hands were jittery.
Hope and fear were so deeply interlaced that I had no idea where one ended and the other began.
I returned a few minutes later. The customer was waiting in the changing room.
“I have three options for you.” I held all of them for her to see.
“Oh, they are beautiful. And just my size.”
I winked. “Guessed it right away.”
“Whatever you do, don’t let me buy all three.”
“Can’t make any promises.”
Twenty minutes later, she left happily with all of them.
As the afternoon rolled around, things became even busier. Tess bought us tacos for a late lunch, which we ate standing.
As soon as we turned the sign to Closed, I dropped on the couch in the back. I had no energy left for packing bags for the online orders. Toeing off my shoes, I lay down.
I closed my eyes, pressing the heels of my palms over my eyelids. The couch caved in as Tess sat at my feet.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Tired.”
She massaged my feet and my calves, and it was pure heaven.
“You’re my favorite sister,” I said.
“I’m your only sister.”
“Only in the strictest sense. Josie is family too.”
“Are you trying to make me jealous?”
Tess pinched my toe. Shrieking, I pulled my knees to my chest, opening one eye.
“I’ll downgrade you from favorite if you keep doing that,” I warned.
“Just found out I’m not your only sister. A downgrade can’t hurt as much.” She brought one hand to her forehead theatrically.
Giggling, I laid my feet back in her lap.
“It’s a sign of trust. Don’t make me regret it,” I warned.
“You’re the one changing rules of sisterhood and threatening to downgrade me,” she pointed out.
“True.”
I placed one hand on my belly.
“I want to know,” I whispered. “But I think the nearest pharmacy just closed.”
Tess nodded. “I, er, bought two pregnancy tests when I got us lunch.”
My heart rate accelerated. My palms became sweaty. I hadn’t expected this.
I sat up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know if you’d want them, but I bought them just in case.”
I sat there, not making any motion, trying to steady my breathing.
Tess pressed her lips together. “Or we can find an open pharmacy and walk over there… give you some time to get used to the idea.”
I grinned. She knew me so well.
“It’s fine, I’m not a coward.”
“It’s not about that. It’s a huge thing. It’s okay to be scared.”
I smiled, but it was a little wobbly. My whole body seemed to vibrate on the rhythm of my pulse.
Wordlessly, my sister took two small packages out of her bag. “They’re different brands,” she said.
I grabbed both, heading straight to the bathroom. I was tremendously happy that I was doing this with my sister and not alone.
I did the tests one after the other, drew up my panties, flushed the toilet, and washed my hands before opening the door.
Tess stood against the wall, hands crossed in front of her. Her eyes widened, glancing at the two sticks I held up. They still had no results, but I couldn’t take the anxiety of waiting on my own.
“How many minutes?” Tess said.
“I don’t know. Haven’t checked the instructions.”
“That’s the most un-Skye thing you’ve ever said.” My sister laughed, putting her hands on my shoulders. “It’s going to be fine either way, sis,” Tess said. “I know it will.”
Everything hinged on the next few minutes.
We sat in one of the changing rooms, huddled together. I was holding my breath. If it weren’t for Tess’s periodic elbows to my arm, I would have forgotten to breathe altogether.
“Ah!” I exclaimed when two lines appeared on the first screen. “What does this mean? Two lines.”
“Pregnant,” Tess said. Her voice was wobbly.
I clutched her hand, squeezing her fingers.
She squeezed right back, taking the second test from my free hand because I was too shaky.
Two lines popped up on that one too, and I felt as if I’d been hit by an ocean wave. The floodgates of emotions flew open.
My skin turned clammy and then was so cold that I began to shiver. I pressed one hand to my chest, which seemed to be expanding by the second. Tess was saying something, but I only heard part of it.
“Say that again.”
“Congratulations. I’m so psyched.”
She was grinning and hugging me, and in my sister’s arms, I discovered that among the overwhelming wave of emotions, I was psyched too. I hugged her back tightly, so grateful for her, immediately resolving that I wouldn’t have just one kid. Having a sibling was the best thing.
Wow. Where did that thought come from?
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“Happy? Terrified? Is it possible to feel both?”
“Absolutely. I know what you need. Something delicious. That always makes everything better. Umm… so vanilla puffs are not on the list anymore. Mac and cheese? Wait, that’s soft cheese, right? Is that good for the baby? Do you have to give it up? Then I promise I’ll give it up with you.”
“You love mac and cheese.”
“I live for it. But for my niece or nephew, I can totally make a sacrifice.”
“Tess, I think we’re okay with some comfort food.”
“Thank God. I’ll just head to Henry’s and pick up whatever looks good.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
I smiled as my sister sauntered out of the store. I’d never seen Tess like this. I paced around the store, keeping my hands at the sides of my body, almost afraid of touching my belly. What if I felt something? A tiny kick?
I rationally knew that he or she was far too tiny for anything of that sort. I was scared of that yet craving it at the same time with an intensity I’d never craved anything in my life. How was that even possible?
What would Rob say? Oh God, oh God , what would he say?
We’d never discussed our future. One of the reasons we got along so well, why we had so much fun, was that neither of us was putting pressure on the other in any way.
I was content with the way things were, and I was certain that so was he. How would this baby change things? Us?
Dread crept up my belly, ensnaring me. Would he decide this wasn’t what he signed up for? I didn’t want him to feel pressured in any way, yet at the same time, this changed everything.
Tess returned with three bags of goodies.
“Sis, that’s all for us?” I checked.
“I couldn’t decide.”
“Clearly.”
“And I didn’t know which ones you’d like, so I wanted to cover all bases.”
That was when I realized that my sister was just as terrified as I was. Happy… but also terrified.
We turned off the lights in the front and camped on the couch between the changing rooms. We shoved two ottomans together to form a makeshift coffee table.
Opening the packages, we discovered that vanilla puffs weren’t the only things my baby was rejecting. I wasn’t a fan of burgers either, but I did adore apple pie.
“Look at you, liking fruity fillings,” Tess said appreciatively.
“Maybe I’ll finally pick up some healthy eating habits.”
“When are you going to tell Rob?” she asked.
“When he’s back. Don’t want to do it over the phone, you know?”
My stomach turned into a tight knot just thinking about it.
“That makes sense.”
“I’m afraid,” I admitted in a whisper.
Tess shook her head. “No, no. None of that. Let’s see. The man calls me to make sure he gets the surprises right. All signs point to him being a catch and an all-around decent human being.”
“Yes, but we’ve been going at our own pace, you know? We don’t even make plans for vacations together or anything.”
“That’s because neither of you has even planned a vacation yet,” she pointed out.
“Tess… you know what I mean.”
She gave me a small smile. “I do, but I think that you’re both mature enough to deal with the… unexpected.”
I hoped so. God, I hoped so. I got heartburn just thinking about the alternative.
Tess stood up straighter, smiling coyly. Uh-oh. She was up to something.
“What?” I asked.
“Can we talk names?”
I threw my head back, laughing. Leave it to my sister to push any ugly thoughts to the back of my mind.
“Please, what did you have in mind?”
“I have this list?—”
“Wait, what?”
Tess blushed. Actually blushed.
“You know, when I come across a cool name, I put it on a list. You-you don’t do that?” Uncertainty flickered in her eyes.
“Umm… no. But lucky you’ve been doing that. You’ll save my kid from being named Frodo or some other nerdy character.”
Tess beamed. “Okay, so I have a top three for boys and top three for girls.”
“Wouldn’t you rather keep those for your own kids?”
“Eh, who knows if I’ll have any? At the rate my dating life is going, I’ll be a cat lady.”
She shrugged, but I could tell she was just trying to be nonchalant. I hugged the living daylights out of her.
“I can’t wait to be an aunt.”
“I can see that.” Seeing my sister all dreamy filled me with a kind of fuzzy warmth that was completely unfamiliar for me.
“Okay, so I have Beatrix, Francine, Charlotte for girls, and Lionel, Richard, and Jake for boys.”
“You have excellent taste,” I informed her.
“I know, right?”