Chapter Three
Harper focused on keeping her hands still.
Whenever she was nervous, her hands gave her away.
They tucked her hair behind her ear, they fiddled with the strap of her purse, they fidgeted in a dozen small ways.
And if Emmett was here to say what she thought he was, she did not want him to know that she was nervous.
She'd rather that he'd just called her and told her. He didn't need to come all the way to the airport. He didn't need to witness her disappointment—although if that was what he wanted, she couldn't blame him.
She'd hurt him with what she'd said. If he didn't want her around the girls anymore because of it, then that was his right. It'd break her heart, but of course, she'd respect his wishes.
She scowled at her coffee cup when it crumpled under the pressure, making her realize just how tightly she was gripping it.
She took a big gulp of cappuccino—she thought of it as a rare treat that she only ever ordered when she was traveling.
She couldn't enjoy it this time, though—the bitter taste in her mouth as she waited for Emmett to put her out of her misery overpowered it.
She looked over at him, taking in his profile as he overtook a semi on the way up the hill. If he kept up this silence for much longer, they might make it back to the cottage before he spoke. Then she could jump out and get away from him.
She couldn't even imagine what her life would be like here if she didn't get to hang out with the girls. She didn't see them every day, but now that she was in danger of not getting to hang out with them at all, she realized just how important a part of her life they'd become.
Alana had rehearsals after school most nights, and someone had to pick her up and get her home.
Tanya had a couple of after-school activities and usually went to her friend Mia's once a week, too.
Sometimes it was a case of picking Tanya up and then going to collect Alana.
Some days, Harper went to the school at the end of the day, and she and Tanya hung out until Alana was finished.
However it worked out, Harper loved the time that she spent with them, and the heavy weight sitting on her chest was a testament to how much she was going to miss them if Emmett was about to dismiss her.
She turned to glare at him. Okay, so he had a right to be pissed at her for what she'd said to him, but couldn't he see that it was good for the girls to hang out with her?
Not just her, but to have a female in their lives—she wasn't going to go anywhere near the 'mother-figure' word, not even inside her own head, but…
Her breath caught when he turned to glance at her—and smiled!
She could feel herself smile back even though she'd been glaring a moment ago. How could she not smile? He looked so different when the corners of his mouth quirked up—younger and… less tired.
"You should do that more often, you know."
His smile vanished.
"Do what?"
"Smile. Go on, try again. You almost had the hang of it there for a second, but you lost it."
He turned his attention back to the road as she spoke, but she was relieved to see his smile was back.
"There, that's it. I knew you could do it."
He chuckled, and the sound of it made her relax a little.
"I can see why the girls think so much of you."
Her own smile disappeared at that.
"We get along well. They're amazing young ladies—they're a credit to you, Emmett.
" She stopped abruptly. It was true, but she didn't want him to think that she was trying to butter him up—trying to talk her way into his good books.
If he was going to say that he didn't want her help with them anymore, it'd break her heart. But she wouldn't try to win him over.
He shot her a quick glance, no longer smiling. "They're a credit to themselves. I've done the best I can with them, but…"
His words trailed off and he focused on the road ahead as they made their way over the pass.
Once they were on the other side, the interstate cutting across the vast open plains, she had to speak.
"You've done a fantastic job with them—there are no buts."
He blew out a sigh. "That's not what you said the last time I saw you."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I really wish I could keep my mouth shut, but it's just not in my nature. I'm sorry that I hurt you with what I said. I know that you and the girls—"
"Don't."
She bristled a little at the way he held his hand up and cut her off with just that one word, but she bit down on her bottom lip. He'd come all this way to get her just so he could say his piece. She should let him talk.
"I didn't mean to yell at you."
"That's okay. I need it sometimes. If you want to get a word in edgewise, you need to—"
"Harper!"
"Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. Go on."
She was so relieved when he shot her a quick smile that she let out a little laugh.
"In case you hadn't noticed, I can be a pain in the ass."
He shook his head with a smile. "I wouldn't say that."
"No, but you probably think it, so I may as well put it out there and—"
This time he didn't interrupt; he just turned and raised his eyebrows at her.
"Well, shoot. Sorry. You talk. I'll zip it."
"Okay. I'm here because we need to clear the air."
She blew out a sigh and waited. There was no point in trying to argue with him.
~ ~ ~
Emmett gripped the steering wheel tighter. He could feel Harper's gaze on him but couldn't force himself to look over at her.
"I know you've been avoiding me."
He sensed rather than saw her shrug as she said, "I thought it was for the best. I know I shouldn't have said what I did. I thought it was better if—"
"If we didn't run into each other so that you didn't say it again?"
He finally looked at her when she sputtered. He hadn't expected that. He figured she'd be all too happy to admit it—and to tell him more about his flaws as a parent now that they were cooped up together in his truck like this.
"I'd never say it again!"
That didn't make sense. He waited for her to continue, but for once, she didn't. At least, not immediately.
He racked his brain for how to proceed from here, and while he was still thinking about it, she blurted out, "You might as well just say it."
"Say what?"
"Tell me that you don't want me around the girls anymore. I don't blame you—even though I don't think it's what's best for them. And for what it's worth, I didn't intentionally try to put me and them on one side and you on the other. It just came out that way."
His heart pounded as he tried to make sure he understood what she meant. It was hard to believe, but…
"Are you saying that you think I'd try to keep you away from them because you hurt my feelings?"
He rolled his shoulder, the old familiar ache stabbing through it as it so often did when he was stressed.
He looked over at her when she didn't reply.
"Damn, you must think I'm the worst kind of asshole."
"I do not!" she exclaimed. "I think you're amazing, Emmett. I think you're doing a fantastic job with the girls and—"
He made a face. "Apart from the bit where being self-reliant is more important to me than they are."
"No! I told you I shouldn't have said that."
"Maybe not, but I'm glad you did—you were right."
"I shouldn't have…" She stopped abruptly and stared at him, wide-eyed.
He fixed his attention on the road ahead as he said, "It cost me enough the first time. Don't make me say it again."
He smiled through pursed lips when he realized that for the first time since he met her, she seemed genuinely lost for words.
She fiddled with her coffee cup and fidgeted in her seat while he gathered his thoughts.
"What I really need to say is thank you," he said eventually. "I was mad at you at first, of course. And I'm not proud to admit it, but yeah, your words hurt me." He tensed when she leaned forward and opened her mouth, but relaxed when she sat back again without speaking.
"But it's not about me. You might not believe it, but Alana and Tanya are more important to me than anything else." He gave her a wry smile. "Even my own pride and self-reliance."
It seemed she couldn't stop herself from interrupting, but this time when she spoke, her tone was much gentler.
"Of course I believe it. It's plain for anyone to see. What I said? Those were just words, Emmett. And they mostly came from my own pride being stung because you wouldn't let me fix a plate for you."
"I think mostly it came from you noticing way before I did that the way I spoke to Tanya shut her down, when she was excited to share with me."
When he glanced over at her, she shrugged again.
"Thanks for trying to take some of the blame, Harper.
But it wasn't about your pride, and we both know it.
It was about you looking out for the girls.
That's what caught me off guard, made me angry at first, and it's the reason I asked Shelley if I could come pick you up today.
I wanted to thank you. For looking out for them.
For being there for them." He glanced over at her.
"For calling me out on their behalf. They need that—and I needed to be on the receiving end. "
They'd reached the Livingston exit now, and when he brought the truck to a stop at the red light at the bottom of the exit ramp, he was finally able to look over and meet her gaze.
Her expression was gentler than he was used to. The warmth of her smile spread through his chest.
She waited for the light to change and for him to pull out onto the highway before she said, "You don't need to thank me. I'm glad it helped, but I should have found a different way and a different time to say something."
"Maybe so, but we both know I wouldn't have listened if you'd tried to talk to me reasonably about it."
She inhaled sharply. "Are you trying to say that I was being unreasonable?"
He tensed for a moment, hoping he hadn't blown it. Then the sound of her laughter filled the cab of the truck, and he relaxed, letting the sound wash over him.