Chapter Seventeen #2
"I just don't understand why I can't do it; I don't have any problem remembering all the songs. That's easy. In the first two acts, I don't have any problems at all, but this one place." She jabbed her finger at the script on the table.
"Maybe you need to relax about it," Harper suggested. "I find sometimes that when I make a big deal about something I've done wrong, it just gets bigger and bigger."
She waited, hoping that she hadn't overstepped by giving unsolicited advice.
But Alana didn't even seem to have registered that she'd spoken. She looked up. "I'm going to call Dakota. I need to talk to her about it." She picked up the script and headed upstairs.
Harper looked around the kitchen. There was nothing left to do in here. But she didn't want to go into the living room either. Tanya was chattering away to Emmett about her visit with Nat; she didn't want to intrude.
Instead, she sat down at the table. She'd been here for a few days now and she was enjoying it.
Enjoying being part of the kind of family life she'd never known.
But it was non-stop, too. Between all the cooking, making sure the girls were where they needed to be when they needed to be there, and keeping on top of the house, she hadn't had a minute to herself.
She didn't mind. She enjoyed being around the three of them.
But she'd been on her own for a lot of years.
She wasn't used to having anyone in her space constantly.
As much as she enjoyed it, it was more mentally tiring than physically.
She looked up when the living room went quiet. A moment later, Tanya came into the kitchen and jumped a little when she spotted her.
"Hey, Harper, I didn't know you were in here. You're very quiet. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay? What do you need?"
"I was coming to get Dad a glass of water. Do you want one?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks, sweetie."
"You should come into the living room and sit with us. I was telling Dad about Nat. She's so cool."
"You're so cool," said Harper with a smile.
"You just say that because you love me. I'm a big old dork, but Nat's like super cool. Did you know she went on the run from her foster home? She lived by herself at the airport and everything."
Harper nodded, not knowing what to say. She knew Nat's story and she could relate to it. She hoped that Tanya and Nat would be a good influence on each other, since Nat was kind of streetwise and cynical. Especially compared to Tanya's open-hearted innocence.
"She's happier now, though," Tanya continued, looking thoughtful. "She said it was kind of scary, being by herself, too. And now she has a new family." She wrinkled her nose. "Hunter's happy, too. They're like a real family now, even though Ford and Amelia aren't really their mom and dad."
She stared out the kitchen window into the darkness for a few moments, and Harper waited as she'd learned to do whenever Tanya was thoughtful like this.
Eventually she turned back to Harper with a bright smile.
"Nat said I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but I know I can tell you.
You'd never share a secret. She said that even though she'll never call him that, Ford’s the best dad in the world. "
Harper had to swallow.
"I'm happy for them. They deserve to be happy. Don't you think?"
"I do," said Harper. "I think we all deserve to be happy."
Tanya stared out the window again. "Sometimes, even after we think that happiness has gone from our lives, it comes back, just in a different shape."
Harper couldn't trust her voice. She nodded.
Tanya took a glass down from the cabinet. "I'd better get Dad his water. Are you coming?"
"I am." As she stood, Harper's phone rang and she reached for it. "I'll be with you after I see who this is."
Tanya took her time filling the glasses and then stared at them for a moment before seeming to remember what they were for. Then she meandered back to the living room in no particular hurry.
Harper pursed her lips when she saw Marcus's name on the screen. She hadn't spoken to him since her final day in the office. He was pissed that he hadn't been able to persuade her to stay, but he had said he'd keep in touch.
"Hey, Marcus, what a nice surprise," she answered. He tended to take his tone from whatever he was met with, so she made herself smile as she spoke.
"Hi, Harper. I held out as long as I could. I thought you would have called me before now — told me that leaving us and moving to the frontier was all some horrible mistake and you wanted to come back."
"You know me better than that. I measure my decisions carefully precisely because I don't like to make horrible mistakes."
"So, things are going well?"
"They are." It wasn't a lie; she wasn't working, but she didn't need to either. And her authors were going to come to her when they needed a freelance editor.
"No chance you'd be interested in coming back, then?"
The question caught her off guard.
He waited a beat before asking, "Does your hesitation mean I have a chance?"
"I don't think so."
"Not even if I offer a raise?"
Her eyebrows shot up. He'd been a tough negotiator over the years, and she'd had to work hard for every raise — she'd never received one she hadn't fought for.
"What's going on, Marcus? Is the office falling apart without me?"
She expected a laugh, but his silence told her much more.
"Not falling apart, but your absence is felt. So... am I wasting my time asking?"
She considered it for a moment. New York had been home for most of her adult life.
It was familiar, easy, she had good friends, and by the sound of it could have her career back if she wanted it.
She looked around. Emmett's kitchen, the girls, Emmett himself — they were an entirely different world.
Was she fooling herself, thinking that it could be her world?
"I think I'll leave it there for now and call you again soon."
Because she hadn't given him an immediate no, he thought she'd given him an answer — all she'd really done was leave herself with a question.
She set her phone down on the kitchen table. She didn’t have to give it any more thought, not this evening. He might not call again. She stared out the window into the darkness. The sheer number of stars in the sky here still amazed her.
She turned away from the window and went out into the hallway.
She stood for a moment, listening. Emmett and Tanya were watching a quiz show on TV.
As they were debating the answer, she didn’t feel like she should go in and intrude.
She went to the bottom of the stairs. Alana’s music was on low.
The sound of her laughter said she was on the phone—and from the tone of her laughter, Harper guessed that she was talking to Tucker, the boy from school.
She clasped her hands together. She could go back into the kitchen and text Shelley—she needed to check in with her. But for a long few minutes, she just stood and waited.