Chapter 20
Nantes
Vanian is acting weird.
Something’s been off about his demeanor since he got back from his drive, making me wonder what happened since we saw each other this morning. Is he rethinking his newfound attraction to me?
I’d ask him, but he’s currently being inundated with questions from Nonna about some of the places she used to go in Chicago.
“When I was a pretty young thing,” Nonna starts, her tone wistful and nostalgic, “I used to go into this little club in downtown Chicago. There was a man there, a kind man, who would buy girls a drink or two and flirt with me.”
“Weren’t you married by then, Nonna?” Deo asks.
“Yes, but married doesn’t mean dead.” She winks and we all crack up. “Besides, he didn’t mean any harm. On a few occasions, he gave me a box with the most exquisite pair of silk stockings in it.”
“That’s scandalous.” Brogan fakes outrage.
“Not just me,” Nonna continues. “All the pretty girls got them. All he’d do was ask us if we were wearing them.”
“Did gramps know?” I ask.
She nods. “That’s how I found out who the nice man was.” She gets a little twinkle in her eye, which is always a sign she’s about to say something wild. “Al Capone’s brother.”
“No way,” Brogan says. “Was he anything like his brother?”
“I never saw that side of him, but it was talked about. I wonder if that little club is still there. That would be a fun blast from the past.”
“You’re always welcome to come out for a visit, Nonna,” Vanian says. “I’d be happy to take you around.”
“That’s sweet. You’ve always been such a nice young man.” Nonna’s gaze shifts to me and she winks. “Maybe a visit to Chicago would be nice. I’m sure Nantes wouldn’t mind.”
“Of course not, Nonna. Anytime.”
“We should go for Pride next year,” Brogan says, smearing butter on a roll. “I guess we could go this year, but it’s in two weeks.”
“Why is everyone acting like Chicago is so far away?” Deo asks, exaggerating the last three words. “We could literally go get dessert tonight and be back at a reasonable bedtime.”
“That might be a bit of stretch, love, but point made,” Balt says, kissing Deo’s temple.
Vanian chuckles. “Yeah, point made. It’s a day trip at best. Any of you are always welcome at my place.” He holds my gaze and I smile.
Maybe he’s getting out of his funky mood.
I notice Balt searching Vanian’s face again, focused on his movements and expressions, and it’s starting to poke at me.
Balt is very clearly in love with my brother, and his interest doesn’t read as romantic in any way.
It’s something else. Some other kind of curiosity.
Vanian seems to notice too, catching Balt’s eye and offering a slight smile that quickly fades.
I don’t know Balt that well, even though we see each other practically every day.
He’s pretty quiet most of the time, and honestly, as long as he’s cool to my brother and family, I don’t really care.
He seems to know his shit when it comes to the company’s finances too, but I doubt any of us know more than surface-level information about him.
“There’s a cool bar in Chicago that I went once when I was there for a work conference and bored out of my mind,” Deo says. “I had a blast. I wonder if it’s still there.”
“What’s it called?” Vanian asks.
“Doubt you’d know it. It’s in Boystown.”
“Why wouldn’t I know it?” Vanian’s tone is slightly defensive. “I’ve been to Pride, you know.”
Everyone falls into awkward silence for a moment. Deo nods, smiling.
“You’re right. My bad. There are plenty of allies.”
“I’m not an ally,” Vanian mumbles.
“What was that?” Nonna asks, leaning in. “You’re not an ally?” Her brow creases. “Then what the hell are you?”
“Nonna.” I shake my head at her.
Vanian puts his hand over mine. “It’s okay.” He clears his throat, putting his fork down. “I don’t know yet, but I think maybe I’m bisexual.”
“Oh,” Nonna says softly, sitting straight. “My apologies, Vanian. I didn’t mean to push that way.”
“It’s my fault. My wording was weird.” He smiles. “It’s new.” I notice his cheeks flushing red. “That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud to anyone but Nan.”
“Thank you for trusting us,” Brogan says.
Vanian huffs a laugh. “If I can’t trust the Benedettis, who can I trust?”
After dinner, Vanian and I walk the property. He’s quiet, but I’m not sure what to say to get him talking again.
A few minutes pass and we settle on a bench. He reaches for my hand, playing with my fingers.
“It felt pretty cool telling your family about my sexuality.”
“I’m glad. Nonna didn’t mean to push.”
“Oh, I know. She was defending her family. If she thought I was some kind of homophobic dickhead, I’d be ousted before I could blink.”
I chuckle. “Very true.”
“I’m happy for you that you have such a good family. My family wouldn’t be cool about it at all if I told them.”
“I know. That might be another reason I didn’t tell you back in high school. I think I knew your dad would be weird about it.”
Vanian nods. “Probably, yeah.”
“Will you tell them now?”
He laughs. “Fuck no. They don’t know much about me anyway. They don’t care.”
“I thought you got along with them okay. Did something happen?”
“No.” He exhales slowly. “I realized the older I got that I didn’t have anything in common with them. They’re conservatives and think I’m a bleeding heart just for caring about people.”
“Is your sister like that too?”
“Couldn’t tell you. She and I don’t talk beyond pleasantries. I get the sense that she leans more toward them than me, but she refuses to engage in conversation about anything other than topical stuff. All she cares about are her kids.”
“Which is why she should care about the things going on around her.”
“Agreed.” He shrugs. “But that’s her life.”
“You don’t sound like you’re close enough to visit her for a few days.”
Vanian’s expression goes blank for a second. His brow creases a moment later, then he looks down at our entwined hands.
“We’re not. She didn’t forget I was coming. She didn’t know.”
I shift in place. “Tell me what’s going on, Vanian. You can tell me anything. Is this… Is it about the bad things you mentioned earlier?”
He nods, biting his bottom lip. “I didn’t lie, not completely. I did just want a few days away from my job and my life. I could’ve gone to a hotel or something, but I wanted…” His words trail off, and hard as I try, I can’t fill in the blank.
“Van?”
“I wanted to be around people I knew. Not alone. That’s all.”
That’s not all. My experience getting information from patients has made me very skilled at detecting when people are holding back, but I don’t push. He doesn’t have to tell me all his dirty secrets.
“I bet a nice hot shower would feel amazing right now.” I tap his arm. “What do you say?”
His shoulders drop and a genuine smile appears on his face. “Sounds amazing.”
We rise to finish our walk back to my place, and I push away all thoughts about whatever secrets he’s keeping and focus on the moment.
There was a time in my life when the idea of taking a shower with Vanian, of touching him, was nothing but a horny teenage fantasy.
I have the real thing for a limited time, and dammit, I plan to soak it up.
Inside my house, we kick off our shoes, but before I can move too far away, Vanian wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me close. He searches my eyes for a moment, and in his, I see so many unspoken words and thoughts.
“Are you okay?”
He nods. “Better than I’ve been in a long time.”
“Good. Me too.”
He kisses my forehead then releases me. We walk hand in hand down the hall to my bathroom, and as Vanian sits on the edge of my bed and starts undressing, I go into the bathroom to start the shower.
My libido has kicked into high speed, making my cock swell and my body heat from the idea of getting my hands all over Vanian again. He’s right behind me suddenly, sliding his hands from my shoulders to my waist.
I turn in his arms, gazing into his intense amber eyes.
“Do you want to be a good boy for me again?”
My stomach flutters and I nod eagerly. “God, yes.”
“Raise your arms.”
I do, and Vanian removes my shirt, tossing it to the floor. Then he unbuttons my jeans and kneels as he tugs them down. He rubs my growing bulge before removing my briefs too. As my cock bounces free, Vanian licks his lips. He licks his fucking lips.
“It’s still wild to me,” he says, his hot breath warming my balls, “that I could be this turned on by a naked man and never have known it before.”
I run my fingers through his hair. “Not even an inkling?”
“Nope. Maybe if I’d looked deeper, but I never did. I didn’t see a reason to, but I was missing out. Or…” He flicks his tongue out to catch the pearl of precum forming on my tip, sending a shiver through me. “Maybe being with you finally let me see it. I’ve always been safe with you.”
“You always will be, Van.”
Something I can’t decipher flickers in his eyes as he stands up again. “Get in the shower. I’m right behind you.”
He sure knows how to drop his voice to that perfect authoritative deepness, so, nodding, I do exactly that.
I watch him discard his jeans and briefs, then make room as he steps into the shower with me.
It’s a decent size for one person, a little tight for two, but that suits me just fine as he presses up behind me, his hard cock brushing against my ass.
Vanian wraps his arms around me, swaying back and forth slightly. “You told me one fantasy. Tell me another.”
“I can barely think straight.”
He runs his hand over my belly. “Come on, Bends. You can do it.”
“Bends?” I chuckle. “Fuck, I haven’t heard that since senior year.”
“I remembered it earlier today. It was the only way I could think to shorten your last name. You wouldn’t let anyone call you that except me.”
“Still true.”