Chapter 24 #2
“He’s an obsession, and I think if you channel all of it, the rage at every predator that has been and is yet to come into the act, you can purge yourself of it all. He’ll be your sacrificial lamb.”
Vanian nods. “I understand what you’re saying.”
The next thought that bubbles up surprises me, but at the same time, it feels unbelievably right. “And I think I’d like to go with you.”
“What?”
I nod as a sense of clarity washes over me. “I’ll do it with you. Just this once. And it’ll be the last time. We’ll get this one handled, and then we’ll walk away. Clean slate.”
Vanian stares at me like I’ve turned into an alien in front of him.
“I believe if I do this with you, I’ll close the loop that was created today.
” I squeeze his hand. “And then I’ll be by your side while you figure out your next steps.
If you want to continue in your field, maybe you shift who you work with or the topics you handle, but I’ll be right here to support you. ”
As he gazes at me, his eyes fill with tears. “I can’t let you do that, Nan. I can’t let you take that risk.”
“You’re not letting me do anything. I’m an adult and capable of making my own decisions. Don’t think I haven’t thought this through. I haven’t thought of anything else since I left the hospital.”
A tear slides down his cheek, and as he wipes it away, he leans in closer to me. “Do you really want this? You’ll have blood on your hands.”
I nod, exhaling slowly. “We’ll have a secret. One that will bind us together for as long as we live. I can handle it, but just this once. You have to promise me you’ll do everything you can to stop.”
Vanian nods. “I will. I’ve been thinking about it all day.” He squeezes my hand. “We’re really gonna do this?”
“We’re really gonna do this. We need a solid plan.”
A slow smile pulls at his lips. “Confession: I’ve been working on one.”
“I figured. I’ve seen you looking up stuff.”
“And you didn’t call me out?”
“No. I assumed you’d tell me when you were ready.”
“How are you real? I never thought anyone would be able to accept me if they knew. I thought I would die with this secret.”
“You will, but it’ll be a shared secret now.” I lift his hand and kiss it. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking.”
It’s been two days since I came home and told Vanian I’d help him take out a sex offender.
Two days to change my mind or snap out of it, but instead of that happening, my resolve has only strengthened.
I’ve been reading about case after case where justice is either missed altogether or is so insultingly paltry they might as well not have even bothered.
I’m seeing the world through Vanian’s eyes now, and it’s a brutal place.
In the Midwest alone, the cases could keep us busy for years.
It’s disgusting, and at the top of that filth pile is Alex Fetterman with his countless victims. We only know about the ones who came forward, but how many didn’t?
How many are still suffering in silence, too ashamed to stand up?
Or worse, too disheartened to believe there could be justice for them.
Well, justice is coming. Just not the way anyone expects.
I look up as Balt enters the main house. I’m sweeping the floors after another busy day of tours. I rarely see Balt without Deo, so my interest is piqued.
“Hi, Nantes,” Balt says, sliding his hands into his fancy trouser pockets. “Busy?”
“Just closing down for the day.” I put my hand on top of the broom handle. “What’s up?”
“Deo tells me you and Vanian go way back.”
“Yep.”
“He seems like a great guy.”
“He is.” My brow crinkles. “Do you have a question or something?”
“No, no question. Just, um, offering some advice, if it’s relevant at all.”
“Uh, okay.”
“If you need help, or if Vanian does, you can talk to me. About anything.”
My pulse spikes. Have we been acting suspiciously? “What do you mean?”
“Listen, I could be way off, but I have a sixth sense for these things.”
“What things, Balt?”
He glances over his shoulder, making sure we’re alone. “Before this, my life was pretty different. The people I associated with were…” He shrugs. “Outside the mainstream.”
Oh shit. Giuliano’s “he’s in the Mafia” theory might be dead-on.
“I can tell something is going on with Vanian, and now maybe with you. You don’t have to tell me shit, and I won’t say a word to anyone, not even to Deo, but if you get in over your head, you can talk to me.” He exhales slowly. “You can talk to Nonna too.”
I pull my head back. “Nonna?”
“That’s all I’m gonna say. Just know you have people in your corner who understand more than you might realize.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Nonna is pretty eagle-eyed, too.”
“I know.”
He glances around again before leaning in closer. “You guys aren’t as stealthy as you think you are. She’s seen Vanian leave at night a few times.”
Shit. That woman never seems to sleep. “He has insomnia. Driving helps.”
Balt holds his hands up and shrugs. “None of my business. Just sharing information.”
“Nonna told you that? Who else heard it?”
“Just me and Deo. She was worried. Not judging. If something’s going on, you can trust her with it. More than you think.”
“Good to know. Thanks.”
Balt claps my shoulder. “No problem, man. You have an incredible family and they all have your back. Myself included.”
I smile, feeling the tension ease a bit. “Thanks, Balt.”
He winks and walks away, leaving me in my feelings.
Just as I finish putting the broom away, the front door opens again and Vanian steps inside.
He looks incredible dressed in nice slacks and a tailored shirt.
It’s been surprisingly comfortable blending our lives together, but there’s a growing knot of worry inside me about the day he decides he has to go back to Chicago.
Sure, we’re only a few hours away from each other, but that’s going to be pretty jarring after spending so much time together over the last several weeks.
Those first months of college without seeing him every day were brutal.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he says as he reaches me. “You ready for our night out?”
I nod. “I am.” We both know we’re not going on a simple date.
We’re going to a bar in La Crosse where we’ve lured our victim.
He thinks he’s meeting someone with connections to young kids.
A shiver moves down my back even thinking about such disgusting intentions.
Alex, trusting asshole that he is, is so desperate to get his hands on a child that he fell straight into Vanian’s trap, all conducted via apps I didn’t know existed. I wish I still didn’t.
“Did you see Balt on your way in?”
Vanian nods. “Yeah. He said something cryptic to me.”
“What did he say?”
“He said to stay safe and that if we ever need help, don’t hesitate to ask.”
I take his hand in mine and walk us toward the front door. “He came in to chat with me.” As we step outside, I glance back at the house, knowing Brogan is still inside, taking pictures of one of our newly redecorated guest rooms upstairs.
“And?” Vanian says. “What happened?”
“He was pretty cryptic with me too, but I guess Nonna has seen you dip out in the middle of the night a couple of times.”
“Shit,” he mumbles.
“Yeah, but it seems like there’s a side of her Balt and Deo know that I don’t.”
“What does that mean?”
“Giuliano had a theory when we met Balt. He gave off some mysterious vibes. Giuls thought he might be connected to the Mafia.”
“Seriously?”
“Or used to be. Somehow he’s not anymore. Now I’m wondering if my nonna was in on it or discovered something on her own. I mean, she is from Italy.”
“Right. Was he concerned? Suspicious?”
“It was an offer of help if we needed it. He said I could talk to him, Deo, or Nonna. I don’t know what it means exactly, but I guess it’s good to know they have our backs.”
“I would never want Nonna to know. I wouldn’t want her to look at me differently or not accept me anymore.”
“I won’t tell. Never. This secret dies with us.”
Vanian nods before pulling me close and kissing me. It’s the first time he’s done it outside of the cottage, and it takes me by surprise enough that I laugh.
As he searches my eyes, his smile fades. “Are you sure you want to do this with me? I won’t blame you for backing out while you still can.”
“My commitment hasn’t wavered. In fact, it’s stronger now. You saw the news. That little girl is still in a coma.”
“Yeah. We can only hope he gets a prison sentence. The other inmates will take care of him, then.”
Nodding, I squeeze his hand. “We should go. It’s a bit of a drive to La Crosse.”
We take my car, but Vanian decides to drive. I’m thankful. I’ve never committed murder before, and to say I’m distracted is an understatement.
“Guess what happened in Chicago?” Vanian says once we’re on the highway.
“What?”
“There was a murder. A convicted sex offender who had been released from prison after fifteen years. He was found shot dead near a playground with his pants open.”
“Holy shit. But you’ve been here.”
“Yep. It wasn’t me. It was either a copycat or someone who reached their breaking point. They haven’t been arrested yet, either. I couldn’t ask for a better development.”
“That’s… amazing.”
“I’m grateful, and I think you’re right. It’s the perfect time to stop. After tonight, I’ll figure out how to move past this.”
“I’ll be right by your side.”
He glances at me, flashing a sexy smile. “How did I live all these years without you in my life? Never again, Nantes. It’s you and me now.”
I hope he means that the way I want him to, but even with the steamy nights in my bed, I’m still bracing myself for him to realize having sex with a man and being in a relationship with one are two different things.
Pushing those thoughts away, I fiddle with my playlist to find some music that will get my mind off what’s about to happen.
Tonight, everything changes. I hope I can handle it.