Chapter Twenty-Two
Gemma held her son’s hand as they waited on the shore to board the longship.
Arne stood nearby, dressed in heavy armour and carrying many weapons.
Gemma did her best to ignore him. A mistake.
That was what he’d said. It hadn’t felt like a mistake at the time, but now…
now she thought he was right. When they had first arrived it had been at Lord Cenydd’s suggestion to keep her safe from both Marcant and her brother, but as the months passed and no one had come looking for them she had realised her brother was happy for her to be out of his way.
Caelin hugged the basket containing the cubs to his chest as Einar and Elisedd stood beside him. To anyone who didn’t know him, he would have appeared stoic, but she knew he was fighting back tears. He had spent longer than she had expected going around Kirkjaster saying goodbye to everyone.
Ragna had given them milk and an animal skin to feed the cubs more easily, but there was only enough to last them until the morning.
She hoped her brother would tolerate the cubs, but she was far from sure.
She shivered. It was not only the cubs she was unsure would be welcomed by Rhun.
Why was she going back when she still had so many doubts?
But what choice did she have? Hopefully it would be enough to simply ask him, and he would see that it was in Caelin’s best interest for him to grow up in his own lands and learn to be their lord as he should.
Einar and Elisedd had offered to look after the cubs, telling Caelin they would bring them to him once he was reinstated in Ir Ysgyn, but Gemma had refused.
If Caelin was leaving everything else behind, she didn’t want him to lose the cubs, too.
That, and she could not face the thought of seeing Arne again. It was hard enough to leave him once.
Her conversation with Aoife earlier had done little to convince her she was making the right decision. It was clear Aoife thought she was making the wrong decision and should stay in Kirkjaster, but how could she?
She was shaken from her thoughts by the crunch of shingle, and turned to see a woman approaching. Rhiannon. Gemma took a steadying breath and forced a smile.
“I’m sorry,” Rhiannon said, wringing her hands.
Gemma shook her head and placed her hand over the other woman’s, stopping her movements. “This is not your doing.”
“But… but it is. I said—”
“No, Rhiannon. That was only a very small part of all this.”
“Are you sure you are doing the right thing?” Rhiannon asked, meeting her gaze for the first time. “I’m sorry. It is not my place to ask, but… Lady Aoife will miss you. And he is sorry you are leaving.”
“Arne? No. Like you, he sees how I am a danger to Kirkjaster.”
Rhiannon glanced down at her feet, then sighed and looked back at Gemma. “I don’t… but…your position… it protects you from many things. The rest of us are not so lucky. But even you must be careful.”
Gemma noticed Ulf watching the two of them from the longship. He looked poised to run to Rhiannon’s defence. Gemma sighed. Everyone saw her as their enemy. She was making the right decision by leaving.
Gemma gestured to Ulf. “You have a protector here. Ulf will not let anything happen to you. He watches you all the time. And believe me when I say I will never betray Kirkjaster. I have suggested a closer alliance between the settlement and Ir Ysgyn and hope my brother and Lord Fergus will agree to it.”
Rhiannon looked out across the water and shuddered. “There are many powerful men who all want different things. The only one you can trust is Lord Cenydd.”
“Can I? I am not sure I can trust anyone,” Gemma said softly. “Everyone leaves me in the end and the men in my life always end up dead.”
Rhiannon opened her mouth to speak, but Tormod’s arrival prevented her and she moved to stand with Elisedd and Einar.
“Princess Maithgemm,” Tormod said, inclining his head towards her. “Arne and Ulf will accompany you to the king and ensure your safety with these warriors, then they will return. We will await further contact once you and your son are settled once more in the lands of Ir Ysgyn.”
“Thank you, Jarl Tormod.” She inclined her head in return to almost the exact same angle.
Tormod grinned at her and put a hand on her shoulder. “You are welcome to return at any time. If things amongst your own people are not as you hope, then you and your son will be safe with us.”
“Provided it does not endanger the settlement?”
Tormod frowned. “I would certainly prefer that your presence did not endanger the settlement, but I am willing to fight to keep you and your son safe.”
“Why?”
“Because you are a pawn in games played by men, Princess Maithgemm. And my wife would never forgive me if I let anything happen to you. She will miss you.”
His wry expression was almost enough to make her laugh. “I don’t think your cousin thinks the benefits outweigh the risks.” The two of them looked over at Arne.
“Then you must forgive him. He was betrayed in the cruellest of ways and he lives with that every day. And regardless of his own feelings, he is loyal to me and will fight who and where I tell him.”
“That will not be necessary,” Gemma said quickly.
“I have made my decision. It is best that I return and see what I can salvage of Caelin’s birthright.
I thank you for your forbearance and I will always be grateful to the Brothers of Thunder for saving me twice. I hope one day to repay your kindness.”
Tormod held out his arm, and she took it and walked with him.
Then he helped her into the longship, lifted Caelin in after her, and passed him the cubs.
The captain and soldier stood at the prow, while the Norse warriors were already seated or manning the sails.
It was Arne who, after a few last words to Tormod, pushed them off and clambered aboard.
Arne went to stand at the furthest point of the boat from where she sat.
Gemma looked towards where Rhiannon, Elisedd and Einar were standing on the shore.
Caelin waved to them, then went to sit down before burying his face in the cubs’ soft fur to prevent anyone seeing his tears.
Just as the two boys turned to go back to the village, Gemma caught a glimpse of Einar’s profile.
It was so familiar. She’d noticed a resemblance before but…
She blinked and turned to look at Arne whose face was currently turned at the same angle.
Then she looked back at Einar, and her stomach lurched.
Her thoughts raced as she tried to piece together everything Arne had told her about Ingrid and Einar.
He was not Tormod’s son; she knew that for sure.
But what had he said? That Ingrid had wanted a husband with more prospects than Einar’s father?
And how would Arne have known that? Unless…
She turned to find Arne watching her carefully.
Then he lifted his gaze to the two boys.
They were now nearly at the door of the hall, and she watched as they turned for a final look at the longship.
Einar lifted his hand and waved one last time, but the sight of his face was enough.
She glanced at Arne, who nodded at her, then turned away.
She gasped. Him? He had been Ingrid’s lover?
Her chest tightened as the impact of this knowledge hit her.
His resentment of Ingrid was not based solely on her treatment of Tormod or the attack on Arne, but…
Had he loved her? Had Arne loved Ingrid and she had married Tormod because he offered her more status?
Had it been the woman he had loved who had… who had—
She couldn’t even bring herself to think it.
Piecing together the things Arne had told her, she thought it was true.
She needed time to think without his presence influencing her thoughts, so she put her arm around Caelin and pulled him close, trying to decide whether she resented Arne more or less for judging her against Ingrid now she knew this.
The sun set behind them as they sailed upriver, a good breeze taking them swiftly towards their destination.
The river was busier than it had been last year when she had escaped from Alt Clut.
With the threat from Marcant gone for now, the fishermen and traders had resumed their normal routines.
Alt Clut remained deserted when they passed—two forbidding peaks, black against the evening sky.
Gemma pulled her cloak around her and shivered.
Although she had tried to sound confident, her stomach was in knots thinking about her return to Perthawc, and she wished she could talk to Arne about what she had learned.
Ulf’s warning that morning continued to chill her.
Rhun would kill Arne if he found out and his death would benefit no one.
Arne was brave and loyal, a good father to his foster sons, and a good influence on her son.
And now her heart ached for him, knowing he watched his own son grow up as another man’s.
Why had he not told Tormod the truth? But did it matter to her now?
She was leaving, would probably never see him again.
Her breath caught, but she forced herself to breathe.
It was his life, his choice, and she had no part to play in his life anymore no matter how much that hurt.
As the river narrowed on the approach to Perthawc, however, she worried more and more that she was making the wrong decision.
The journey had been made in almost total silence apart from Ulf’s shouts to the men to trim the sails.
All too soon the longship approached the dock.
Six heavily armed guardsmen stood waiting on the pier as they docked on the north bank of the river.
The captain stood up and shouted to them, explaining the nature of their journey.
Gemma closed her eyes and prayed she was doing the right thing.
It no longer mattered why Arne had been suspicious of her.
She was leaving him behind and taking Caelin back to the life he should always have had.
It was for the best. She stood up. It was time to become the woman she had been born to be once more.
“Princess Maithgemm,” a guard said, bowing low.
The other guards followed his lead. The captain disembarked as one of the Norsemen came up behind her.
Her heart raced a little when she thought it was Arne, but it was Ulf who took her hand as she crossed the deck, then climbed out first and helped her onto the pier.
Arne passed Caelin to Ulf, then the cubs, without so much as a glance in her direction.
“The Norsemen will return home now,” Gemma said to the guards.
Then she turned to Ulf. “Thank you for finding me and returning me to my people.” She didn’t look at Arne, couldn’t.
Despite his change of attitude, walking away from him and the sense of security and, dare she say it, love, she had felt when she had been with him was one of the hardest things she had ever done.
But it was better this way. No one must ever know how she truly felt about Arne.
Rhun would use her feelings to punish either her or Arne, she was sure of that.
“We are not leaving without the reward promised by the king,” Arne stated, climbing onto the dock beside Ulf.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat.
How could she have forgotten? All the Norsemen were interested in now was their reward.
Ulf stepped up beside her and placed his hand on her arm.
The nearest guard reacted, but Ulf simply glared at him and reached for his sword, forcing the guard to take a step back.
“My orders from Jarl Tormod are to accompany you to an audience with King Rhun, and only when your safety is assured, and we have received the promised reward, will we return to Kirkjaster.”
“King Rhun will not be granting an audience to any Norsemen today,” the lead guard announced. “He is meeting with his nobles.”
“I am sure the king will wish to speak with them,” the captain said, frowning. “His sister’s return was of the utmost importance to him only yesterday when we left in search of her.”
“He has gathered his nobles since then—” the guard began.
“I have orders to take… to accompany Princess Maithgemm to the king as soon as I arrive,” said the captain. “I see no reason for the Norsemen not to accompany her and claim their reward. The jarl was most insistent on ensuring the princess’s safety before his kinsmen returned to the settlement.”
Gemma straightened her spine, gathering her anger, then glared haughtily at the guard.
“Take us to see my brother. Now. He must make time. We received word he was looking for us and was concerned enough to offer a reward for our safety. I am sure it will not take long for Rhun to assure the Norsemen of my safety and pay them their due. The sooner they leave, the better, surely?”
She didn’t look at Arne as she spoke, as she didn’t want to see him agree with her.
Inside she was shaking and wishing she was not committed to this course of action.
The attitude of the guard was not reassuring and her second thoughts were fast becoming third, fourth and fifth thoughts, but she refused to let anyone see her fear.
The guard’s eyes narrowed, but he nodded curtly. “Very well. But I will say it was at your insistence.”
Gemma inclined her head regally, took Caelin’s hand and moved towards the royal residence.