Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
I wake early and glance at my phone. I can hardly believe it’s nine thirty!
I’m just stretching out my arms before a shower, when there’s a tap on the bedroom door. Dad enters then, carrying a cup of tea.
‘Why didn’t you wake me?’ I stretch my arms out over my head.
‘I thought you deserved a lie in. You do enough running around.’ He smiles warmly, sitting at the edge of the bed. ‘Me and your mother had a lovely day yesterday, we were just chatting about that in the kitchen.’
‘What did you have for breakfast?’ I narrow my eyes at him.
‘Bran Flakes.’
‘Really?’ I ask doubtfully.
‘Yes. Ask your mother. I’m not sure I could get a taste for them but they weren’t too bad with a few raisins,’ he tells me.
I head to the shower and after breakfast I decide to wrap up well, and take the fifteen-minute walk into town to meet Gemma for a coffee at the Blue Teapot, one of the few cafés open on Boxing Day.
The wind bites as I walk along, the roads deserted apart from a few hikers heading for the hills decked out in walking gear, and a couple of families with children enjoying their bikes or scooters, probably Christmas presents.
I pass a couple carrying coffees, linking arms, and smiling up at each other. I think of Kian then, and wonder when I might hear from him to arrange our date. I also fleetingly think of the woman I saw him with and how they were all laughing together, reminding me of a family.
Turning into the market square, I bump into Audrey and her mum coming out of Bentham’s.
‘Hi, how are you both?’ I ask, thinking it nice that Audrey’s mum is out of the house.
‘Really good, thanks. Mum and I just nipped into town, so Mum could have a look at the sales in your shop,’ says Audrey. ‘Well, not your shop, obviously, but you know what I mean.’ She smiles.
‘And I got this,’ says Audrey’s mum. ‘Almost half price, it was.’
She pulls part of a checked woollen coat from her bag to show me.
‘Ooh very nice. I’m sure you will get your wear out of that in this cold weather.’
‘Yes, I think I will. I have a couple of padded coats but nothing smart. I’m going to watch the Fellview brass band with Eileen on Tuesday at the civic hall.’
‘That sounds lovely. Enjoy yourselves.’
I’m happy for Eileen too, who certainly seems to be out there living her best life right now.
Gemma is waiting at a window seat in the café, and waves as I approach.
‘I’ll get you a coffee,’ she says, jumping up to the counter.
‘Thanks.’
I unwrap my scarf from my neck and hang my coat on the back of my chair.
‘So did you have a nice Christmas?’ she asks, returning with my drink. ‘And what’s the story with your mum and dad being under the same roof?’
I tell her all about what happened with Rose and how Dad said things hadn’t been right for a while between them.
‘Your poor dad. He has his big op coming up soon, doesn’t he? Will he be staying with you for a while then?’ She pops a marshmallow from the top of her hot chocolate into her mouth.
‘He will. You know how it is, there is a room for Mum and Dad whenever they want to stay. I still see it as their house really, despite them pursuing their own lives.’
‘That’s such a lovely arrangement, isn’t it? Well, maybe it wouldn’t be for everyone, but I know how close you all are.’
‘Anyway, I have something to tell you.’
We both say this at virtually the same time, and burst out laughing.
‘Go on, you first,’ says Gemma.
‘Okay.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Well, you know Kian, aka hot shop guy?’
‘Yes.’
‘He has asked me out.’
‘Has he?’ Gemma stirs the cream on the top of her drink.
‘That wasn’t quite the reaction I expected,’ I tell her, wondering why she isn’t excited for me, as she normally would be.
‘What, gosh no, I’m really pleased for you.’ She smiles then, but it feels like she is holding something back. ‘And lucky you, he really is a cutie. I told you he fancied you, didn’t I?’ she says, sounding like her usual bubbly self but I’m not quite convinced.
‘So, what’s your news?’ I turn the conversation to her, wondering why her reception to the news of my date with Kian was so lukewarm. I will try and prise it from her once she has told me her news.
‘I’m thinking of leaving,’ she says as she takes a sip of her drink.
‘Leaving. What, you mean Bentham’s?’ I ask in surprise. Gemma has loved working there for as long as I can remember. She has always been in retail, and when she first joined the staff, she told me it was pretty much the best establishment she could hope to be employed by.
‘No, not just Bentham’s. Here, as in Fellview.’ She looks up at me.
‘Leaving?’ My hot coffee suddenly feels cold in my mouth, ‘But what’s brought this on? And where would you go?’ I can think of a dozen questions I want to ask.
‘I suppose it was over Christmas, spending time with my extended family,’ she explains. ‘One of my older cousins brought his friend along who would have been on his own over Christmas. Anyway, long story short, we hit it off.’
‘And you are thinking of moving to Wales?’ I ask, hoping it’s North Wales, which isn’t too bad a journey, but it turns out it’s mid-Wales, a three-hour drive away.
‘It could be worse,’ Gemma says. ‘South Wales is more like five hours.’
‘It is a long way,’ I say quietly. ‘Although if it’s what you really want, I support you. I don’t suppose you can be like Gavin and Stacey, can you? Commuting all that distance.’ I manage a smile.
‘Oh, it’s not about Brad, that’s his name, I barely know him. I am thinking about it though,’ she says. ‘I guess us all being together made me realise how much I miss my family, especially my young nephews, even though they do wear me out.’ She laughs. ‘My aunt said they have regular get-togethers, and I don’t know, I think I would like to be part of a big family. I hadn’t realised how much I missed that. Mum is seriously considering moving back to Wales, too.’
Gemma moved up here as a teenager when her dad took a job in the area. She’d protested and demanded to stay with her aunt in Wales at the time, before settling here and eventually being happy. Until now it seems. Her dad has passed away since, so I guess it makes sense for her mum, who lives a few miles away, to also want to be closer to her sister and extended family.
‘I can understand that,’ I tell her, even though my heart breaks at the thought of my best friend not being around anymore.
‘Anyway. As I said, I’m just thinking about it. I might be over it tomorrow. I’m always the same after a big family get-together.’ She laughs. ‘It will probably soon be business as usual. Talking of which, I should probably get going.’ She glances at her watch.
Gemma is on shift today, for the Boxing Day sales, starting work at twelve, finishing at eight, whilst I don’t return until tomorrow. It’s worked out well really, as I can look after Mum for an extra day, although I didn’t quite expect Dad to be around too.
‘We’ll chat more later. Still on for drinks when I finish work?’ she says, picking her bag up from the floor and looping it over her shoulder.
‘Yeah, sure. See you tonight.’ I smile.
The door opens and the family I saw earlier enter, the young boy placing his scooter in a corner near a coat stand. They find a nearby table, all of them red cheeked and smiling and I can’t help but smile myself. It’s a lovely place to raise a family, with the river walks and fells to climb, not to mention enjoying long walks and picnics in the summer months.
I order myself another drink, then mull over what Gemma has just told me. I can imagine her thriving amongst a huge family, and think of how different we are. Maybe I ought to take up more invitations, from some of the work gang, and explore more opportunities. Just before Christmas, they went on a canoeing day in Windermere and even though I was tempted to join them, I thought of all the things I needed to do that weekend, and declined in the end. Audrey is also a new friend I could spend more time with if I chose to. I love Gemma like a sister, but she must do what it takes to make her happy, I realise that. Life has to change if we are to grow.
Sipping my coffee and staring at the square outside, I also wonder why Gemma was less than thrilled when I told her that Kian had asked me out. But maybe I will ask her more about that later.
I am just finishing my second drink, glancing out of the window, when I notice Rose walking past with a lady around her own age. I tap on the window and she gives a little wave, so I head outside and say hello. She briefly introduces her sister, who smiles before walking inside a shop.
‘How are you, Rose?’ I ask.
‘I’m fine,’ she says a little stiffly. ‘You?’
‘Yes, fine. Sorry to hear about you and Dad.’ Despite their differences they did spend several years together. Before he met Rose, he frequented the local pub a lot, meeting friends, and probably drank too much beer.
‘Thanks. If I’m honest, though, I don’t think we were making each other happy just lately,’ she says, echoing Dad’s sentiments. ‘I don’t really think we had that much in common, to be honest,’ she admits. ‘How is your dad?’
I think of Dad’s love of being outdoors, whether it be mowing someone’s lawn or spending hours in the garden or greenhouse. Even as a youngster, he often took me on long country walks, telling me about the various forest plants and listening out for birdsong. Mum came along on those walks too, seemingly enjoying them just as much as Dad, and I wonder when things started to go wrong between them.
‘He’s okay. I think he will feel relieved when his operation is over though. He’s staying with me at the moment.’
‘That’s nice for him. I’m staying with my sister over Christmas, which has been lovely actually as she is on her own too.’ She tells me.
At least neither of them have been alone over Christmas.
‘Anyway, I must go.’ She points to the shop her sister has just walked into.
‘Of course, yes. Look after yourself, Rose. Oh, by the way, I do have a gift for you,’ I tell her. ‘Maybe next time you pop in Bentham’s I could give it to you.’
‘That’s very kind of you.’ She smiles. ‘I hope your dad’s operation goes well.’
‘Thanks. Bye, Rose.’
I take a quick browse of the village shops, though some of the shops and cafés are closed, except for the Blue Teapot. Alf’s general store is open, and, of course, Bentham’s for the Boxing Day sales.
I pass a children’s clothing store, with a banner across the window announcing a sale. There are balloons in shades of pink and mauve in the window alongside the display of clothes and I think of Bella’s party at the community centre. I also think of the trouble Kian went to in order to make his daughter’s birthday special at this time of year, and how he was sure we could host a joint party without any problems.
It turns out he was right all along. Everyone had a wonderful day, well, apart from Mum, who ended up in hospital. I picture him in the kitchen getting stuck into the preparations whilst he calmly awaited the arrival of the party food. I also find myself picturing his handsome looks, his charming accent and just about everything else about him. Annoyingly, I can’t seem to get him out of my head.
I push harder with my steps on the way home, walking quickly and breathing deeply. I do enjoy walking and remind myself that I ought to try and get more steps in every day. I used to enjoy walking a lot and joining the dance class every Tuesday at the community centre, but when it changed from Zumba to aerobics, I kind of stopped going. Maybe I ought to give it another go. These days my time seems to be taken up with work and meeting Mum or Gemma for lunch or, of course, assisting with the local pensioners, which I enjoy and always find time for, but I need to stop making excuses and find new pursuits to shake myself out of my usual routine, especially in the light of what Gemma has just told me.
Sometimes life gives us a little reminder to think about our own self-care from time to time, without the need to rely too heavily on others. It’s something I will take on board seriously in the new year.