Chapter 1 #2
‘Not a bit.’ Zoe glanced down once more at the flowers in her arms, realising she’d been as apprehensive as him and wondering what had affected them both so.
Though she’d tried not to admit it, even to herself, part of her own apprehension might have been guilt.
The fact was, she and Alex had shared a blissful week alone at Hilltop Farm, and it had shown her just what life might be as a couple without the distractions of his adult daughter and baby granddaughter sharing the house with them.
And though she adored both Billie and Louisa, she’d loved the peace.
She’d loved being as spontaneously intimate as she liked with Alex, being able to come home from work and simply relax without feeling the need to offer help with some problem Billie might have, or with the care of Louisa, and she loved that when Alex had done all his chores and wrapped up business for the day, it was just the two of them, and they could do whatever they liked with their time without having to consider anyone else.
And she loved that they’d felt like a couple newly in love, which was what they were, almost like newlyweds – which they weren’t, but Alex had begun to hint at getting married again.
Most of all, she loved that they’d been able to talk openly about things they often had to wait to discuss when they could grab the odd half hour with Billie missing.
Considering she was a naturally introverted girl with few friends in the area, that wasn’t very often.
She wondered if any of this had occurred to Alex.
If it had, perhaps that explained his current state of agitation too.
Maybe he’d felt it without recognising it quite so obviously.
Zoe was looking forward to seeing Billie and Louisa, but she was already missing what she and Alex had shared while his daughter had been away.
‘Do you think she made the flight OK?’ he asked, craning to see through the steadily growing crowd of arrivals. ‘Do you reckon these people are all from her flight?’
‘She would have messaged us if she’d missed the flight,’ Zoe said.
‘Of course. I was just wondering because she’s not out yet.’
‘She’s got to pick her pushchair and suitcase up from the baggage hall. It might be taking her a while to do that.’
‘It’s a shame we’re not allowed to go through and help,’ he said. ‘Stupid rule, expecting a young girl to do that on her own. Relatives ought to be able to go through and help, like you can at train stations.’
‘She’s fine. I’m sure there’ll be someone at the carousel who can help if she needs it. She’s got to get used to doing this stuff by herself.’
He turned to her with a vague frown. ‘Why? She’s got us.’
Zoe turned back to the flowers, reminded of her recent thoughts. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘She’s got us, but…’
‘I thought…’ he said into the gap Zoe’s unfinished sentence had left.
‘I mean, I half wondered whether I might get a phone call from her to say she wanted to stay in Spain.’ He ran a hand through his hair and blew out a long breath.
‘I suppose that’s why I feel so jittery.
I was scared she wouldn’t want to come home. ’
‘Were you? What made you think that?’
‘She loved living in Spain. I know there was a lot of tragedy there for us, but before that, she loved it. She keeps herself to herself now, but she wasn’t like that before.
She had loads of friends, and she loved the sun and the lifestyle.
And sometimes I think – she doesn’t say anything, of course – but I wonder if Hilltop is too quiet and lonely for her. She needs people her own age.’
‘She’s got Maisie… and Fern now too.’
‘But they don’t live close by, do they? Not now they have their council house. They’re closer to Ambleside than Thimblebury. And really, they’re only all friends because they all have babies. I’m no expert, but even I know that’s not much of a basis for a friendship that means something.’
‘It can be. My mum was friends with the woman in the bed next to her when she had me for years. I used to go and play with her kids all the time.’
‘Are they friends now?’
Zoe blinked and then realised that her mum hadn’t mentioned that particular friend since… well, she couldn’t remember the last time her mum had mentioned that friend, but certainly not since Zoe had gone off to train as a midwife.
‘There she is!’ Alex’s hand slipped from Zoe’s as he stepped forward, waving for Billie’s attention.
Zoe remarked inwardly at how well Alex’s daughter looked.
She’d always been willowy, but the accompanying paleness had gone, and while not exactly bronzed, her skin was sun-kissed, and she looked healthier than any time Zoe could remember.
Her blonde hair was pulled up into a bun, and she wore cute gold hoops in her ears.
Zoe couldn’t member ever seeing her wear earrings either.
As Billie noticed him, she grinned, and he rushed to grab the suitcase she was trying to pull along at the same time as pushing Louisa in her buggy. ‘Let me get that.’
‘Thanks, Dad.’
‘Good flight?’ He kissed her lightly on the cheek before bending to kiss Louisa, who shrieked with pleasure at the sight of him. ‘Hello, cheeky! Look at your hair! How has it got so long in a week? And I do believe it’s getting curly!’
Zoe smiled as she watched them. She and Alex had enjoyed a lovely week, but it was clear where his true affections lay, and that was OK. She’d always felt Billie and Louisa came first, and she’d accepted that fact when she’d agreed to move in with them.
Billie smiled as she saw Zoe, who held out the flowers.
‘Oh… thank you,’ Billie said, taking them and then stowing them in the folded hood of the buggy.
‘How was your holiday?’
‘The same as when I spoke to you yesterday on the phone,’ Billie said with a light laugh. ‘Good.’
‘You’ve got a tan,’ Alex said as the three of them walked towards the exit. ‘I didn’t expect you to get a tan – it’s almost winter.’
‘They had a mini heatwave. I took Louisa to the beach – she loved it. I mean, after she’d finished freaking out about the sand when I first put her on it, she decided she liked it after all. I took her in the sea and everything.’
‘The sea?’ Alex yelped. ‘It would have been freezing!’
‘Only to dip her toes,’ Billie said. ‘Don’t look so stressed about it! I’m not stupid – I wasn’t going to kit her out for scuba diving.’
‘You both look really well,’ Zoe said. ‘You look as if you’ve had a great time. How were Luis’s parents?’
‘Oh my God, they were made up to meet Louisa!’ Billie gushed. Alex pushed open the door and allowed her and Zoe through before following. ‘They spoiled her so much, and Beatriz was crying when we left. I felt really bad about that.’
Billie was silent for a moment, and Zoe guessed that her thoughts might have turned to Luis, the boyfriend she’d lost before she’d even known she was carrying his baby.
‘I took Louisa to see his grave,’ she added finally. ‘She doesn’t understand, and I suppose she won’t for a long time, but I felt like I ought to. Every time I go over, I’m going to take her to visit him, and then one day she’ll get it.’
Neither Alex nor Zoe replied. Zoe didn’t know what to say, and she guessed Alex was the same.
If anything, it was harder for him because he’d had to support Billie through that dark time, alone, still struggling with the loss of his wife – Billie’s mum – only a year or so before that.
They’d both been damaged when Zoe had first met them, both very different from the people they were now.
Zoe dashed to hold the lift down to the car park, giving a brief smile of thanks for the patience of the others waiting to use it.
Alex smiled as he and Billie joined her, the anxiety of only moments earlier gone, his face lit with pleasure despite the gravity of the things they’d just said.
His family was home, and if Zoe had learned one thing about him in their time together, it was that family meant everything.
‘Did you catch up with any of your old friends?’ Zoe asked as the lift took them down. It opened up within a minute, and everyone spilled out to make their way over to the car park.
‘We had a night out. Beatriz and Antonio were dying to babysit Louisa. It was weird being without her at first, but it was OK. Nice to catch up.’
‘Your Spanish held up after not using it for ages?’ Alex spotted the car and clicked to unlock it with the key fob.
‘Si,’ Billie said. ‘Claro…’ She rolled her eyes. ‘El burro sabe más que tú.’
He laughed. ‘Fair enough. Sorry I asked.’
‘What’s that?’ Zoe asked.
‘Something along the lines of the donkey knows more than you.’ Alex shook his head at Billie with a grin. ‘It’s something Luis’s dad used to say from time to time, usually when he thought I was stating the obvious. He never did mince his words.’
‘He still doesn’t,’ Billie said.
‘Yes,’ Alex replied in a dry tone. ‘Probably why you always got on so well with him.’
‘Antonio and Beatriz asked if I was going to teach Louisa Spanish,’ Billie continued. ‘They said I should. I hadn’t really thought about it, but they might be right – if we’re going to be there a lot, she should know how to talk to them in their own language. And she’s half Spanish, after all.’
‘So they’re wanting you to go over more often?’ Alex asked, the lightness of his tone disappearing again.
Zoe recognised a new anxiety, one he’d aired to her in Billie’s absence.
‘They asked me to go for Christmas—’
‘What?’
‘Calm down, Dad. I said no. I told them it’s Louisa’s first Christmas, and she’s spending it here with you.’
‘What did they say to that?’
‘They were a bit hurt, to be honest. I mean, they didn’t say, but I could tell.
I suppose they thought I’d forgotten that they’re Louisa’s other grandparents, and they don’t even have Luis now, so it would have been nice for them to have us there to take their minds off that. But I know you’d have been upset.’