Chapter 6 #2
That wasn’t quite how Zoe remembered it from the year before.
Billie had been visibly upset by the notion that they might miss their Christmas Eve present exchange when the schedule had gone awry, but she decided it was better not to mention that now.
And for all of Billie’s pretence, Zoe had a feeling that some of that tradition was being kept alive by Alex, who probably did want to cling on to the memory of Billie as a child as much as Billie liked to cling to the days when life was simpler for her, and the most important thing she had to worry about was making sure they swapped one present on Christmas Eve.
‘Maybe you wanted to stay with Luis’s parents this year? For Christmas?’
‘Dad would have gone mental if I’d said that.
There’s no way he would miss Louisa’s first Christmas.
I would have liked to have stayed for longer, maybe, but I wouldn’t have wanted to be away from Dad for that.
I know he’d have you, but still… And I know Dad said we could invite them to ours.
It was nice of him, but I think he was only doing it for me.
I don’t think he really wanted them to come. That’s why in the end I didn’t ask.’
‘He meant it. He’d do it for you.’
‘Which means I was right and he didn’t want them here. That’s OK, I get it – he wants it to be just us for Louisa’s first Christmas. Beatriz and Antonio understand that. They’re really cool; they just get this stuff. I guess we might ask them next year.’
Zoe was comforted to hear Billie talk about next year as if it was a certainty she’d still be with them. ‘They sound great. I’m looking forward to meeting them when we eventually get round to it.’
Billie had her phone tucked into the folded hood of Louisa’s buggy, and a loud bleep came from it now. Billie unlocked it and paused on the path to read the text. ‘Maisie,’ she said vaguely. ‘She’s got some working-from-home gig, apparently. Packing gift sets for someone who sells them on Etsy.’
‘How did she find that?’ Zoe asked.
Billie shrugged. ‘I bet it’s some dodgy mate of her mum’s. Sounds like that sort of thing, doesn’t it?’
‘It sounds like a handy little job, and she has been saying for a while she wanted to get something.’
‘Sounds like she’ll get ripped off.’ Billie shoved her phone into her coat pocket.
‘I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a job like that.’
‘Neither have I, but it’s obvious, isn’t it?’
Zoe threw Billie a sideways glance. ‘Is it?’
‘How much stuff has she got to pack before she gets paid? Loads! Even if they end up paying her – which I bet they don’t – it won’t be much.’
‘I would imagine, in Maisie’s situation, a little money is better than nothing. She can work from home, so she doesn’t have to pay childcare for Ezra, and if she’s smart, she’ll keep her earnings low enough that she won’t have to pay tax on them. You can’t blame her for wanting to give it a go.’
‘I wouldn’t get out of bed for the hourly rate they’re paying.’
‘You don’t have to.’
Billie turned sharply to her. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Maisie doesn’t have anyone who can help her if she runs into financial difficulties. Her mum certainly doesn’t have anything to spare.’
‘Whereas I have everything I need without lifting a finger? I suppose that makes me spoiled? I don’t ask Dad to keep me, and in the end it’s the same – they live in a house they’ve been given for free.’
‘That’s not what I meant at all, and I think you know that and you’re taking my words out of context…’
Billie scowled, but she didn’t argue the point.
‘Maisie and Fern still have to pay some rent on their house,’ Zoe continued, ‘even if it is subsidised. And they have to feed themselves and their babies, pay the bills, buy toiletries and clothes and all the other bits that mount up. Fern has nobody to ask either. I’m sure, if it works out for Maisie, Fern will want to do something similar once she’s over Benji’s birth and they’re settled into a routine.
It’s good for her to feel as if she has some independence too, some agency over her situation, instead of sitting around helplessly waiting for handouts.
No matter what the media like to say about people who are on benefits, most don’t want that to be their entire life. ’
‘Since when did you become a social justice warrior?’ Billie pulled the rain cover over the hood of Louisa’s buggy as the first spots splashed onto the pavement ahead.
‘I can see you’re not really in the mood for this conversation today. You gave your opinion on Maisie’s new job, and I gave you mine. I thought that was the point of you bringing it up.’
‘Sometimes you’re so annoying. You’ve always got to be reasonable about everything. You can’t actually be that nice – it’s not normal.’
‘I’m not always nice, trust me. I wish I could be nicer. Maybe it’s my job, I couldn’t say, but I’m sorry it annoys you.’
‘Ugh, you’re even doing it now!’
Zoe didn’t lose her temper, and she didn’t take offence at Billie’s insults, because she sensed there was something deeper going on, something bothering Billie that she couldn’t find the words for.
So instead of trying to express it directly, she was expressing her frustration at something she couldn’t name indirectly, by expressing frustration at everything around her.
Zoe had seen it before, and she knew how to deal with it, but that didn’t mean it didn’t worry her now.
As they turned the corner, they found Magnus up a ladder hanging lights around the doorway of the shop.
‘Getting in the Christmas spirit?’ Zoe called as they wandered over.
Magnus pinned the last bit to the frame and then climbed down the ladder with a smile. ‘Hello! Yes, we thought it was about time we did the decorations. We meant to last weekend but got distracted and didn’t have time in the end.’
‘That wouldn’t be anything to do with the panto auditions, would it?’
‘Yes.’ Magnus pulled a pristine cloth from where it had been hanging from his ladder and wiped his hands.
‘How did they go?’
‘We had some brilliant people. I had no idea there was so much talent in Thimblebury! I’m just casting it now, but it’s hard to let anyone down.
I’ll have to, of course, because there just aren’t enough roles to go around…
I suppose we could have a very big ensemble if people were happy to make their own costumes. ’
‘You could ask the question on the village Facebook page. I’m sure lots would want a chance to join in and would be happy to source their own props and things.’
‘I will, actually. I had wondered if we’d see any of you at the auditions…’
Billie said nothing, only stared at Magnus as if she thought he was quite mad. He laughed at the sight of it, though his laughter didn’t crack a smile from her.
‘It’s not really our thing,’ Zoe replied in her stead.
‘Not even Alex? I had the sneakiest suspicion he might have been a secret thespian.’
‘Sorry to disappoint you, but no. Well at least I don’t think so… you’d have to ask him yourself I’d say. But he’s pretty busy with other things.’
‘The campsite’s closed for the winter, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, but he’s got plenty to keep him occupied.’
Magnus went to the buggy and peered in at Louisa with a smile. She was bundled in a pink coat Zoe had bought for her, but had yanked off the woolly hat covering her dark hair, studying it closely as if she couldn’t decide whether to see what it tasted like.
‘Yes, I suppose he wants to keep all his time for this little one. I don’t blame him – she gets prettier every day.
’ Finally, Billie offered the ghost of a smile, and Zoe was pleased to see Magnus seemed heartened by it.
‘And I imagine you’re going to have another go at the gingerbread competition,’ he added to her.
‘Going for the crown this year, are you? I won’t be entering, you know.
I don’t have time now that we’ve got the panto to plan and rehearse.
‘What are you going to make this time?’ Magnus asked, but Billie gave a careless shrug.
‘I can’t be bothered to do it this year.’
‘But you’re so talented! It was only your first attempt last year, and you came second!’
‘It’s not that deep; it’s just a village thing. It’s not like I won Bake Off. I’m pretty busy with other things.’
Magnus shook his head, as if he’d never heard anything crazier in his life and then wisely decided to change the subject.
‘What are your plans for Christmas then?’ he asked, looking at Zoe.
‘Absolutely nothing,’ Zoe said. ‘I intend to have a bloody good rest. In one way or another, I feel as if my feet have barely been on the ground over the past couple of years… Even last Christmas was mental. This year, I intend to do nothing but sleep as much as I can and eat my own body weight in turkey and chocolate.’
‘Won’t you be on call?’ Billie asked.
‘Probably, which is the only reason I didn’t include wine in that list. If I have to attend a birth, I’ll do my best to work around it with the rest. But I’m fairly sure none of my mums are due in that immediate week around Christmas Day, so unless something untoward happens…
which I don’t want to tempt fate by even saying, then I should get off lightly this year. ’
‘The last famous words,’ Magnus said, and Zoe smiled at the mixing up of the well-known maxim.
Despite having lived in the UK for over thirty years and speaking English better than many of the locals, from time to time he still got a little mixed up when he was throwing out English sayings.
It was endearing, and so nobody – apart from his partner Geoff – ever wanted to put him right.
He moved the ladders out of the way of the door. ‘Are you going inside?’
‘We need some formula – the older baby one. Did you manage to get it in?’ Magnus suddenly looked troubled, and Zoe smiled. ‘Don’t worry if not – there’s no emergency. We have a couple of tins, don’t we, Billie?’
Billie nodded.
‘But we thought it was a good idea to stock up while we were passing, just in case.’