Chapter 18
In the end, they’d decided they were all too tired to go to the carol service tonight; they’d go tomorrow morning instead.
Alex was now flicking through the TV channels, while Zoe was looking at photos her mum had posted online of her festive cruise with her new man when Billie came into the living room.
‘She’s gone down,’ she said. ‘Straight to sleep – she must have been knackered.’
‘I’m not surprised.’ Zoe looked up from her phone. ‘I feel like that myself. It’s all the fresh air we’ve had today.’
‘It’s all that mulled wine you had.’ Alex settled on a channel and tossed the remote down.
Billie went to sit next to him and nuzzled in. ‘Thanks, Dad.’
He wound a bemused arm around her shoulders. ‘What for?’
‘For such a nice day.’
‘I’m glad you enjoyed it.’
‘I did. It was freezing, but it was fun. Once Louisa had stopped crying, of course. She really hates Santa.’
‘She definitely has issues with him.’
Zoe put her phone down and smiled at the two of them cuddled together. Alex looked so happy, more positive than he’d done in weeks – perhaps since Billie had returned from her visit to Luis’s parents a couple of months before. ‘Shall we do the Christmas Eve presents?’ she asked.
‘Not yet,’ Billie said, closing her eyes as Alex wrapped his arms a little tighter around her. ‘I’m too comfy to move.’
Alex glanced up at Zoe, a broad, contented smile on his face.
‘I’ll go and make a drink,’ Zoe said. Not because anyone had asked, but because she sensed that this was a moment for them to share, father and daughter, and the best thing she could do was to gift it to them.
When she went back in a few minutes later with a tray of mugs, Billie was sitting up, staring into space, and Alex looked as tense as he had during the days leading to this.
Zoe glanced from one to the other, silently begging an explanation.
Something had gone wrong in her absence, and it had escalated quickly.
Alex seemed to take a moment to collect himself, and then turned to Billie. ‘I only want you to be happy, and if that’s what makes you happy, then I’ll do whatever I can to help.’
‘You’re not angry?’ Billie asked.
‘How could I be angry?’ He pulled her into a hug.
Zoe put the tray down and sat across from them.
‘I’d never be angry. I’m sad; that’s only natural, and I don’t want you to feel guilty about that.
But I’ll get used to it.’ He glanced at Zoe.
‘A wise woman told me this day was coming and I’d have to deal with it, because it’s only right and natural and how things should be. So that’s what I intend to do.’
Zoe took her tea and stood up. ‘I should probably let you two talk. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.’
Voluntarily banished to the kitchen once more, Zoe decided to peel the sprouts for lunch the following day.
It would be something to do and one job less in the morning.
But as she sat in the lamplight at the kitchen table, she could hear the voices of Alex and Billie in the living room.
She couldn’t tell what they were saying, apart from the odd snatch that told her what she needed to know.
Billie had finally come clean about her wishes for the coming year, and what she wished for, above all else, was to leave Thimblebury.
Though Zoe was anxious that the discussion would be calm and rational, she was proud of the way Alex had finally taken it.
She knew she’d have to support him more than ever when the day came, and that she’d have to support Billie as best she could to make the transition too.
It was funny because they hadn’t really been in Zoe’s life all that long, but Billie and Louisa’s absence would leave a huge hole for her too.
She’d got so used to having them around, enjoying watching Louisa grow, and now some other family would get to do that.
She supposed they’d get to fly out on occasion, and she had to admit there were worse places to visit.
She was putting the peeled sprouts back in the fridge when Alex and Billie came into the kitchen.
‘I’m going up,’ Billie said. ‘Goodnight, Zoe.’
‘Goodnight.’
After giving Billie a moment to get upstairs, Zoe turned to Alex. ‘How are you doing?’ she asked in a low voice.
‘I’m fine.’ He sat down.
‘Honestly?’
‘Honestly. I’m sort of relieved. Everything is out in the open and we don’t need to tiptoe around now.’
‘Big changes coming, eh?’ Zoe sat next to him.
‘Looks that way. The house is going to seem too huge without them.’
‘Do you want to move? We could—’
He shook his head. ‘We’ve only just got the business started. I want to make a go of that. If you’re happy at Hilltop, then so am I.’
‘More than happy. I thought I’d say it anyway because if you felt it wasn’t for you now, I’d understand. There’s still Kestrel Cottage over the way, after all, and we could be just as comfortable there as here.’
‘Don’t remind me,’ he groaned. ‘I’ve still got to talk to Victor about that, tell him we don’t want to buy it after all.’
‘He’ll be all right about that. It’s Victor.’
‘Yeah, but I still feel bad for messing him around.’
Zoe pursed her lips, and Alex laughed. ‘Yes, you were right, as always. I should have talked to you about it, and you would have told me it was a bad idea.’
‘Not necessarily, but you might have worked that out for yourself.’
‘I’m too impetuous.’
‘Not that, but you grab for whatever you think will make everyone happy. It’s not a fault; it’s something I love about you.’
‘You know what I love about you?’
‘What?’
‘Everything.’
‘Daft.’ Zoe smiled, held in the darkness of his eyes, weightless for a moment, buoyed by the tenderness she found there.
‘I mean it,’ he said. ‘I know everything will be all right when Billie leaves because you’re here. It might have been a different story if you weren’t.’
‘That’s good because I’m not going anywhere.’
‘It’s very good because neither am I. Thick or thin, I want to share it all with you. Maybe even… well’ – he smiled slowly – ‘you know. I don’t have to say it; I’ll just wait until you say yes.’
Zoe fell deeper into his gaze, and she wondered, would it be so hard to say yes?
What was stopping her? She already knew she’d never loved anyone like she loved Alex, and she never wanted to be with anyone else.
She knew she’d be happy at Hilltop for the rest of her life, or wherever else they went as long as he was with her.
‘Alex…’ She moved in, her voice low and sultry. ‘Will you marry me?’
‘What?’
‘Oh, you don’t want to?’ She gave a coquettish smile. ‘That’s a shame, but I thought—’
‘Oh my God, yes!’ he yelled.
Zoe let out a guilty laugh as she glanced towards the stairs, certain they’d woken Billie and Louisa.
‘You mean that? You really want to?’
‘I don’t know why I kept saying no, but I really want to. I always wanted to; I was just being Miss Sensible. Boring is more like it. Life’s too short not to do what you want, right?’
He pulled her close and kissed her with so much enthusiasm she felt he might burst into song like he was in a real-life musical. ‘I love you so much! I don’t think you could ever know how much!’
‘I can guess,’ Zoe said, her own smile making her cheeks ache. ‘And for the record, I love you more.’
They talked until after midnight about their plans, how things would change and what life might hold for the coming year, and then Alex looked up at the clock and sucked in a breath.
‘It’s Christmas Day already! Happy Christmas, Zoe.’
‘So it is. Happy Christmas. Boring, but we ought to think about going to bed if we’re getting up early enough to go to the church service. Do you think Billie will come?’
‘She said she would, though I must admit, I was surprised. After the panto thing, I didn’t think she’d ever want to go into the village again.’
‘I know what you mean. You didn’t do your Christmas Eve present swap.’
‘I thought that. The first time since Billie was in primary school that we’ve missed it. It’s a sign of the times, isn’t it? It’s not the only thing that will change. That’s when you know your kids are really not kids anymore, isn’t it? When things like that finally go. I’m not sure I like it.’
‘We’ll just have to make new traditions, as good as the old ones. It’s a good excuse to shake things up a bit.’
He got up and held out his hand for her to follow him up the stairs. ‘I’d say you’ve done a good job of that already. Not that I’m complaining, not one bit. Come on – let’s go to bed.’