Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Dare
It’s only been one day, but I missed you too much not to write. Last night, I laid outside on a blanket and watched the stars. I thought it would help to look at them and know you see them, too. So far, it’s not working like I hoped. – Always, Athena
“You know her.”
I glared at the man who’d been by my side during the hardest times of my life. Dr. Rorik Nilsen.
Rorik had been the medical attachéassigned to our Special Forces unit—the sixth member of our team. After our final—failed—mission, he’d returned and became a medical examiner for the city for a good couple of years before taking a private contract with a local security firm, Covington Security, as their on-site doctor and medical consultant. He consulted on cases and did things like this—patching up the team, friends, and anyone else brought into his domain.
“Did her test results tell you that?” I ground out, dragging my stare back to Athena, who lay unmoving in the hospital bed, tied and tethered to a dozen machines inside the medical bay at Covington.
I felt Rorik’s sharp stare flay me open before he replied calmly, “No. The way you look at her does.”
Instantly, I turned to him. His cold blue eyes glinted as though with one look, he’d cut right to the center of my secrets and saw what— who— Athena had been to me.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Ghosts don’t age.”
My jaw locked, barricading my protest rather than opening a can of worms.
Rorik had reconnected with his high school sweetheart a few years ago—over an autopsy table no less—and their former spark rekindled into the kind of flame Harm and Rhys had found. I wasn’t about to encourage him to find any similarities with my situation because they were nothing alike.
“No, but people do,” I rasped, my fist balling against my side as he took the last vial of blood from her arm.
People aged. Things changed. And some things would never be the same.
“Why don’t you sit?”
And why don’t you go back to figuring out why she’s not waking up? I swallowed down the rude response, knowing he was doing everything he could for her. For me. And all at the drop of a hat.
I’d given him only a few minutes notice that I was on my way to Covington with an emergency. They had a state-of-the-art medical bay, and I wasn’t about to take Athena to the hospital. I didn’t trust them—I wouldn’t trust anyone else with her except Rorik.
“I’m going to run her labs and check on her scan results. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I managed a grunt just as the door swung shut behind him, its haunting swish sweeping away the last distraction that buffered me and the unconscious woman from my past.
Athena .
I didn’t realize I’d moved to the side of the bed until my legs pressed against the edge.
She didn’t move, lying just as lifeless as when we’d arrived. The monitors beeped, an incessant—necessary—reminder that she wasn’t lifeless. Stable was the work Rorik used. What the fuck was stable when she wasn’t waking up?
I gripped the bed rail like I could channel my frustration through it to the floor.Even though I was safe—even though she was safe—the drum of my heart wouldn’t let up.
Wake up, I willed like I had the power to make it happen. I didn’t. I was powerless to help her, and for some reason, the thought gutted me.
Someone had tried to kill her. It wasn’t enough for her to be caught up with a criminal, but now her life was on the line, too. And I hadn’t been able to protect her from either.
“Wake up, Athena,” I murmured under my breath, letting my eyes roam over her. This was the first moment I’d had to look at her—the first moment I felt safe enough to let myself really look at her since the blast.
God, to see her again… It had been sixteen—almost seventeen—years since the last time. But while I was tattooed with ink, scars, and trauma, Athena Holman looked just as she did when she was eighteen. All soft sunlight and warm curves. Even banged up, bruised, and covered in dirt and ash, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d never seen. An angel .
And an angel shouldn’t be this dirty.
I turned and went to the sink on the other side of the room, grabbing a fistful of paper towels and wetting one end. Returning to her side, I didn’t think twice about what I was about to do until it was too late—and I was wiping her face clean.
Maybe I should’ve had Rorik take a look at my head, too. No sane man would knowingly open Pandora’s box and reach right in.
Pain and pleasure wove like vines through my DNA, sending everything from my blood to my bones into a kind of electric frenzy I couldn’t control.
I cleaned the stretch of her forehead, careful to avoid where Rorik had already taped over two nasty gashes. Then there was the soft crest of her brow and the slender bridge of her nose.
“Dammit.” The word came out under my breath, my hand shaking as I tried to gently dislodge some ash from her eyelashes.
I wasn’t even touching her skin, and my body felt like it was coming out of itself for more.
I gritted my teeth and wiped the gentle slope of her cheeks, my throat tightening at how pale they were underneath the soot. There was more tape on the bottom of her chin where it had slammed into the ground, and I carefully cleaned around it as though I could wipe away everything. Every hurt. Every injury. The whole incident— including me.
“You’re going to be okay, Angel,” I murmured roughly, the slow stroke of my finger pausing when it got close to her mouth.
I shouldn’t. My mouth went dry, but I couldn’t pull away. Fuck. It had been so long since I touched a woman. Even this—this not touching —had me about to come out of my skin.
I started at the corners, tracing the edge of her pink lips like there was still time for her to wake up and stop me. The beeps of the monitors droned louder in my ears, like the ticking of a bomb set to explode. My finger traced the perfect arch of her top lip, and I stopped breathing.
She didn’t deserve this. Athena Holman had been the kind of girl to put wildflowers in her hair and dance in the rain and make up her own constellations. She’d exuded light and love in spite of the loss life had thrown at her. She didn’t deserve to be tangled up with Ivans— or me.
Wake up and hate me.
Her lips parted, and my pulse raced, hungry for something I couldn’t have.
Wake up and curse me.
My body thrummed, feeling a thousand things— everything I shouldn’t.
Wake up and tell me you never want to see me again.
A ragged groan broke from my chest. She deserved so much better than this after everything she’d been through?—
The door swung open, and my hand fell to my side as I turned.
“Harm.” I exhaled and met my brother’s frenzied stare.
He’d been the second call I’d made on the furious drive here. I’d hardly given my brother a chance to speak before telling him there was a situation and to meet me here ASAP.
“You alright?” He let the door close and took a step toward me.
I turned, shielding Athena from his view. There were things I needed to tell him first—things I needed to explain. “Fine?—”
“What the hell is going on? First, Rhys texts me to check on you. Next thing I know, Ty is getting reports over the police scanner of an explosion, and a few minutes later, you call and tell me to meet you here.”
“There was a car bomb that went off,” I said, knowing my black jeans and black leather jacket weren’t enough to hide the black ash that seemed to be everywhere.
“Who was the target?”
“Remington sent me information. A photo—a lead on someone connected to Ivans.”
“What?” He growled his displeasure. “How? What did it say? Did he give you a name?”
A man like Remington would always have more answers about the criminal underworld than we did, but that was the key to his criminal empire. He brokered information—bought and sold connections when it suited him. And right now, it didn’t suit him to give us Ivans’s new alias— if he knew it.
“It didn’t say anything. There was only a photo in an envelope addressed to me.” And barely that. “The image was of Ivans—his new face—and he was with a woman; they were sitting at a restaurant. Looked like they were on a date.” Dammit. I tried to clear the irritation from my voice before continuing. “I looked up her address and went to confront her—was about to when her car exploded.”
“Jesus…” He shook his head and started to move toward the bed.“Who is she?”
“Harm—” I grabbed his arm, but it didn’t stop him; he reached the side of the bed,his swift inhale marking the moment he recognized her.
His gaze whipped to mine.“Is that…Athena?”
There was not a man on this earth who could see this woman and forget her—or not recognize her even after almost two decades. Even when she was lying in a hospital bed, bruised, concussed, and covered in ash, it would be like seeing the sun and then forgetting its light.
I gritted my teeth and nodded. “Yeah.”
He let out a long breath and ran his hand along his jaw. He was always the best of the team and of the two of us at keeping his emotions in check. Meanwhile, I still hummed with adrenaline and anticipation…and something else I wouldn’t admit to.
“She’s…here? Living here, I mean?”
My muscles tensed. “At her mom’s house.”
“Did you?—”
“No.” The word smacked down between us. No, I didn’t know she lived there until today. I didn’t know anything about her life now—nothing except all the reasons I had no right to be in it. Our past—what happened between us—had nothing to do with this. “I didn’t get a chance—didn’t even get to her before her car exploded. She’s been unconscious ever since.”
I’d given up my chance with this sleeping beauty a long time ago. Now all that was left—all that was honorable for me to do—was what I’d been trying to do all along: protect her. And for that, I’d risk her hate—and her hurt—if she’d only wake up.
“So, Remington sent you a photo of Ivans and Athena?”
My eyes flicked to the door, willing Rorik to walk back through it with some kind of fucking assurance that she was going to wake up and be okay.
“Yes.”My jaw locked tighter, and I looked back at her.
“And you have no idea if she and him?—”
“No,” I clipped, not wanting to hear the end of that statement. “All I have is that photo until she wakes up and can answer questions.”
He made a low noise, but I refused to look at him. Not that staring at Athena was any better, with the way my brother read into my focus.
“When I got there, her car was already running in the driveway, so the bomb wasn’t triggered by ignition.”
“On a timer?”
“Or a remote.” I focused my gaze on the steady rise and fall of her chest, letting the rhythm hypnotize me .
“Maybe Ivans was the target.”
“He wasn’t there.” Not that I could see. Not that I wanted to consider.
“But he’s the more likely target if she’s involved with him?—”
“It was only one photograph.” I interrupted. “When she wakes up, we’ll ask her about Ivans. Explain who he is—what he’s done. Figure out what she knows. And then take her back home.”
“Take her back?” He gaped, and I could practically feel the way his brows lifted like a hold around my throat. “She was almost blown up.”
“And we’ll find the person responsible,” I clipped, shifting my weight. “The police can protect her. Hell, Covington Security can protect her. We don’t do protection.” I said it like it wasn’t total BS. Harm had been hired to protect Daria, and Rhys had protected Merritt when she was being targeted by criminals in her past. But typically, we didn’t deal in private security; we were hunters, not guardians.
“Then why did you bring her here instead of a hospital?”
Dammit . Air hissed through my lips.
“Because I wasn’t thinking,” I said, grabbing for whatever excuse I could find. “The explosion happened, and I acted on instinct—save her. Bring her here. Have Rorik look at her. But you’re right, I should’ve taken her to the hospital instead.”
My brother made a low noise that I was all too familiar with after thirty-six years. His rumble of disbelief.
“You were the one who said Ivans was most likely the target,”I offered just as the door swung open, drawing both our attention to Rorik.
“Harm.” He greeted my brother with a deferential nod and a firm handshake.
“Is she going to be okay?” I didn’t have time for their pleasantries.
“Other than the cuts and bruises, she has a concussion and some swelling in her brain, so she’ll need to rest for a few days—physically and mentally. She may have some amnesia about the blast, but we won’t know until she wakes up. If she does have some short-term memory issues, it’s nothing that shouldn’t clear up with a little time.”
I let out a long breath.
“You said you got her attention right before the bomb went off?” Rorik probed.
I nodded.
“If she’d been any closer to the car when it exploded, we’d be having a different discussion right now,” he said low, banding his arms over his chest.
Any closer… She’d stopped because I’d called to her. If I hadn’t, she probably would’ve been at the car when it?—
“I’ll see if Ty can pull any home security feeds from the development. In the chance it was remote detonated, we may be able to find a lead.” Harm thought out loud as he pulled out his phone, sending off that message to Ty.
I didn’t care about the bomb right now; I cared about her.
“When will she wake up?” I demanded, hating how my voice cracked.
Rorik stared like I shouldn’t be asking that question. “I don’t see any reason she won’t wake up soon,” he said tightly. “But when she does, her brain needs to rest. You can’t jump right in to interrogating her?—”
“You think that’s what I’m going to do?” I demanded, moving toward him as anger lashed through me. “After someone tried to blow her up?”
“Dare.” Harm grabbed my arm, his hand like an anchor, stabilizing me through the surge of emotion .
I’d do anything to spare this woman pain. Hell, I’d broken her heart and mine to keep her safe, and in the end, she’d ended up entangled with Ivans. I couldn’t stand it. I’d fix it—tell her the truth and protect her. It wasn’t like I could give her any more reason to hate me than she already did.
I started to apologize, but a soft noise from behind me derailed my good intentions. A whimper. She was awake.
My heart slammed into the front of my chest, air exploding from my lungs. Suddenly, I forgot all the things I’d planned to say—all the explanations and apologies I’d worked up in my head. All the ways to start a conversation with the woman I’d abandoned.
“Athena…” Fuck, why was my voice so fucking hoarse? In an instant, I was beside her, Rorik and my brother forgotten in the background. “You’re okay. You’re safe.”
It was instinct to reach for her and torture all the same. I took her hand, heat rushing through my veins like lava. Her skin was warmer and softer than I remembered—than I imagined. Memories, desire, desperation—they all consumed me. Like an earthquake, a massive fire, and the swell of a tsunami ravaging me all at once. I forced a breath through my lips and squeezed my eyes shut for a beat, afraid if I didn’t, I’d come apart at the seams.
“You’re okay,” I repeated, lower this time. “I’m here.”
She whimpered again, her lips breaking apart for the sound as her brow scrunched.
“Athena…” I braced myself for what would come next. That recognition. The remembering. The hurt I’d caused.
I deserved what came next.
Her eyes fluttered and then finally pulled open, and I held my breath. She looked straight at me—straight into my eyes, and it felt like all the way into the broken shards of my soul. And then she blinked, and her body tensed like she’d been physically shocked.
“What happened?” her voice rasped, unsteady but determined. “What is this—where am I?” She jerked her hand back and reached for her face.
Shit .
“You’re safe?—”
“What’s going on?” she repeated, the pitch of her voice rising in panic as her fingers felt her forehead and pressed to her eyes.“Who are you?”
My mouth snapped shut, my instincts immediately on alert. Something was wrong. She knew me—she should recognize me. Scars and all. But she didn’t.
Rorik stepped to the other side of the bed. “Ms. Holman, I’m Dr. Nilsen?—”
“What’s wrong with me? Why is it dark?” She completely ignored him—didn’t even look at him as she pressed her hands to her cheeks and then to her eyes—she rubbed on the sides of them, over them, wiped at them like there was something irritating them. “Oh my god.” Her head started to shake. And then her shoulders. But it was the way she kept rubbing her eyes that worried me.
“Athena—” I forcibly took her wrists, but then her whole body started to shake.“You’re okay?—”
“I can’t see—” she whimpered, her chest starting to heave.
What? My head snapped to Rorik, and when I saw surprise on his face, I knew this wasn’t good.
“I can’t see. Oh, my god. I’m blind —” She started to hyperventilate. “Where am I? Why can’t I see? What happened?”
“I’m Dr. Nilsen, Ms. Holman. You have to calm down, please.” He tried, but she wasn’t hearing him because she was fighting me—shaking and pulling herself away even though I was only trying to reassure her .
“Calm down, Angel,” I begged. “It’s okay—” She wasn’t hearing me. She was panicking, and I couldn’t stop it.“You have a concussion—” It was of no use. She pushed back into the bed, her head whipping side to side.
“No! What happened to me? Who are…” Suddenly, all the energy went out of her, and she slumped down, her eyes drifting shut. No! My heart cracked against my chest, fearing the worst and looking to Rorik to resuscitate her.
And then I realized he was responsible, and I growled at him like an animal.
“I had to sedate her,” he said firmly, pulling the syringe out of her IV line. “She couldn’t stay that agitated. Not with her concussion. She would’ve done more damage.”
Fuck .
For a second, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything but process the look on her face when she’d come to—the pure panic and fear that consumed her. I should’ve just told her who I was. It wouldn’t have mattered, a voice inside my head responded, forcing me to accept that Rorik had introduced himself as a doctor, and she still couldn’t process it. I knew—I understood. I’d been around plenty of people who survived explosions and came to with a consuming kind of panic.
“What the hell was that?” I rasped and carefully straightened, balling my arms to my chest as Rorik leaned forward and peeledher eyelids open. He ignored my question, examining her eyes with a small light before letting them close again.
“You said she was fine—that her scans were fine?—”
“And they are.” He cut me off, his cold stare daring me to question his expertise.I wasn’t, but fuck me, she wasn’t fine, and that was all I could think about. “Her scans are clear; her pupils respond normally to light?—”
“Then why is she fucking blind?” I growled.
“ I can’t see.” Her panicked cry still haunted the room .
He shoved his little flashlight back into his scrub pocket and folded his arms. “I believe she has what’s called cortical visual impairment—used to be called cortical blindness.”
My brother made a low noise and nodded.
“You know what that is?”
“Used that to describe what happened to soldiers who were shot or had other injuries to the back part of the brain,” he said with a grunt.
Rorik nodded and further explained, “Basically, her eyes are fine but the part of her brain that processes information from the ocular complex is injured.”
“Can you fix it?”
“No, but the blindness is most likely temporary—a side effect of being too close to the blast and hitting her head. As her brain heals—as the swelling goes down—her vision will start to return.”
“How long?”
“Days, weeks, maybe a month.” He reached for his iPad, tapping notes into Athena’s chart. “Just depends on how her brain heals.”
A month. She could be blind for an entire month.
I dragged my gaze back to Athena, her body calm and her breathing steady. Beautiful but vulnerable. So fucking vulnerable. This changed everything. There was no way I could question her and let her go. Not when she was wounded. Not when she needed me.
Fuck.
I exhaled.
Fuck!
“We’re bringing her back to Sherwood,” I turned and declared to Harm, my voice low even though Rorik had stepped away.
My brother tipped his head, curiosity dripping from his stare at my sudden change of course. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
A feeling I didn’t like slithered over my spine, cold and subversive.
He wasn’t asking because we didn’t typically bring outsiders to the compound beyond the garage. He wasn’t asking because he was worried she’d learn about our lawless vigilante work. He asked because of me—because of our past.
Because he knew what this woman had meant to me all those years ago.
“It has nothing to do with that,” I told him, my breaths so strained, every inhale felt like I was trying to inflate a stone.
“Then what is it?”
My jaw hardened to stone. “I don’t trust anyone else to protect her.”
Something flickered in Harm’s stare—something I ignored as I went to talk to Rorik, needing to know how long he was going to keep her sedated. When we could move her. How long I had before I had to explain…
Harm could think whatever he wanted about my choice. I didn’t care. After what I’d done. How I’d hurt her—abandoned her. Protecting her was more than the right thing to do; it would be my penance. She might hate me when this was all over, but it would be worth it if she was safe.
Just like it had been all those years ago.