Chapter 20 Allegra
ALLEGRA
“Ineed to shower,” I protest.
“No.” He pulls my sweater over my head, then tugs me close. His eyes search mine and I wonder what he sees. “You’ll wear my come all day long. All night long.”
“That’s insane.”
“If you wash yourself, I will punish you. Am I clear?”
“Are you serious?”
“You need to know, and anyone who comes near you needs to know, that you belong to me.”
By anyone, I assume he means his stepbrother.
He walks into the living room and a moment later, returns, carrying my backpack.
“What are you doing?” I ask when he sets it on the bed and takes out my makeup bag. He unzips it and pulls out my birth control.
“How careful are you with these?” he asks, opening it, counting the empty slots and the ones with pills inside them.
I take them from him and shrug a shoulder. “I’ve never had to be careful. It’s not like I was having sex. It was to manage pain.”
“So not very,” he says. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll get you the shot. That’ll be more reliable.” He picks up his discarded shirt and pulls it on.
“You don’t get to decide that. And besides, you don’t fuck me anyway. Not…” I trail off, feel myself going red.
“I won’t risk pregnancy.”
He tucks his shirt into his pants and when he slips his hand into the pocket, his forehead furrows.
“I need to take care of some business. Two of my men will take you to the shops.”
“Soldiers? You’re not coming?” I ask, suddenly worried that he won’t be there which is ridiculous. Cassian is my enemy. I keep forgetting that. Why do I keep forgetting?
“Don’t tell me you’ll miss me, Little Moth.”
“No. I just don’t know them.”
He studies me. “Don’t worry, you’ll be safe.”
“It’s not that,” I start, heat flushing through me, my underarms suddenly damp.
“I’m not scared,” I say, but it’s not wholly truth.
After the kidnapping, the murder of my mother, my father rarely gave me permission to go out, which was fine by me.
I’d have anxiety just thinking about being out there where someone could take me.
At home, I was safe. Or at least I wouldn’t be hurt anymore.
It’s embarrassing and weak, but I have these moments of panic.
I have had them for five years now. I can usually manage them, but this is a surprise.
I don’t like crowds. I don’t like to be anywhere where someone might get to me.
He steps closer, taking my hand. He sets his finger over the stub of mine. With his free hand he tilts my chin so I’m looking up at him. I search his eyes, unsure what I’m looking for, feeling things I don’t understand.
“No one is going to hurt you, Allegra. You’re under my protection now.”
He can’t really promise that and I think we both know it.
“You need to buy a dress. I’ll let Elenora know.”
“Elenora?”
“The boutique owner. She’ll close the shop while you’re there.
The dinner is formal. Buy something expensive.
Red, I think. And whatever else you want.
” He waves his hand around like it’s nothing.
I never thought about money when I was growing up, but since dad’s death, it’s definitely a thing.
“You can have your hair and makeup done too. Whatever you want.”
“What’s wrong with my hair and makeup?”
“Nothing. Just if you wanted to. They’ll put it all on my account. You can go exactly as you are. You know you’re beautiful.”
I raise my eyebrows. Was that a compliment? “I’d like to go to the beach. I haven’t been in a while.”
“I’ll take you later. We don’t have time today. Be ready by seven,” he says. We hear the doorbell ring through the closed door. “Okay?” he asks me, releasing me to pull on his holster and jacket.
I shrug a shoulder as if it’s nothing. “Go.” I walk over to the side table where a menu sits beside the phone. “I’ll get lunch.”
“That’s a good idea.”
I open the menu, but don’t read it, instead, I wait until he’s gone. He leaves the bedroom door open, and I can see him giving instructions to two soldiers. Enzo is standing by the door, ever present.
When Cassian glances back at me, he catches me watching so I clear my throat, pick up the receiver and push the button for room service.
I place an order for pancakes. Breakfast for lunch is good.
He’s gone by the time I hang up the phone, only the two soldiers left with me now, so I close the bedroom door and plop down on the bed, undoing my braids.
From inside my backpack, I take out a wide-tooth comb and watch my reflection in the mirror on the wall across the room.
The braids leave my hair in thick waves.
I look at my face and there’s a part of me that wonders what he sees in me. Why he wants me.
Why I want him to want me.
You’re the only woman I’ve thought about since that night.
“Don’t be stupid,” I tell myself, dropping my comb back into the backpack and taking the makeup bag into the bathroom to wash my face and put on a little makeup while I wait for room service.
I think about what he said. About wanting people to know I’m his. To smell him on me. You can’t smell that can you? I sniff at myself, but feel stupid to do it. Of course you can’t smell it.
By the time I’ve applied minimal makeup, my food is delivered. I ask them to pull the cart into the bedroom because it feels weird to eat while two soldiers stand watching. I eat the pancakes mostly to kill time and when I can’t put it off any longer, I go into the living room.
“Are you ready?” one of the soldiers asks.
I nod and they open the door. One goes ahead to call the elevator and I watch the nearly empty beach as we descend.
Once down where the shops and restaurants are, things are lively, but not overwhelming.
The interiors of the shops are brightly lit, and people are having fun and when I spot a toy store that makes me feel like Alice in Wonderland, I decide to pick something up for Daniel.
Cassian did say whatever I wanted so why not?
The woman behind the counter greets me, noting the two men standing at the entrance.
I ask about the train set in the window.
It’s nice, very nice, and when I tell her I’ll take it and to put it on Cassian’s account, she almost salivates.
She hurries to pack it up and I understand why when I get a peek at the price tag.
“I’ll have it sent up to Mr. Trevino’s room,” she says.
“Thank you.”
Daniel will love it. Now, I’ll need something for Amal, which is easy because the shop right next door is a cosmetics shop.
I smile, knowing exactly what Amal will like, and I pick up a basket.
The soldiers stand uneasily at the door as I weave around the aisles and grab pallets of eye shadow and too many eyeliners and lipsticks to count. Amal loves makeup so why not?
I don’t even blink when they ring up my purchases and I ask them to send them up to Mr. Trevino’s room as well.
My last stop is the boutique to buy a dress. Elenora’s is a few shops down and I know she’s expecting me when she opens the door before I even have a chance to.
“Ms. Moretti, welcome!” she says, her Italian accent heavy. She barely looks at the soldiers. “I’ve arranged everything.”
“Thank you,” I say as she locks the door behind me.
“You two can wait here,” she tells the soldiers, pointing to a sofa. She says it with such authority, they only glance at each other and sit as she leads me through a curtain to a back area. “I’ve already chosen several dresses. I know what Cassian likes,” she says and signals for me to follow her.
I notice how she uses his first name, not Mr. Trevino like the others, and look at her with a new interest. She’s in her early thirties, I’d guess.
A few years older than Cassian, but not much.
And she’s very attractive. Very sophisticated.
Very European. I don’t want to be intimidated, but I admit, I am.
I clear my throat, wishing I’d applied more makeup and wasn’t wearing combat boots while she’s in her Versace pumps.
“He was right about the size,” she says, appraising me as we walk through the burgundy velvet curtains that fall heavily closed behind me.
This part of the shop contains a comfortable sofa before a slightly raised platform where a three-way mirror stands.
On either side of the mirror are curtained off dressing rooms. I notice the tray of various bottles of liquor, too many brands of whiskey to count.
“I hope you like the selection. He mentioned red…” she trails off as she pulls a rack forward.
“They’re beautiful,” I say, meaning it as she holds one dress then another up. “A little showy for me, though. Do you have something black?”
“Cassian said red.”
“Cassian’s not the one who has to wear it,” I say with a smile. “Black please.”
“Why don’t you start with these,” she says, clearly disappointed. “But I’ll see what I can find. Right in here.” She carries the first of the dresses into one of the dressing rooms and I follow her, noticing the shoes already lined up to go with the dresses. I guess she’s seeing a big payday.
“Sure,” I say. “Maybe not so plunging a neckline for the black dress.”
“Of course.” She draws the curtain closed and I stand before the mirror inside the room that’s about the size of Daniel’s bedroom.
I drop down onto the chair to untie my laces wondering what I’m doing, what we’re doing, playing dress-up.
Because what is this? My brother owes Cassian money.
A lot of money. I’m collateral. And my time is just about up.
So why am I here trying on dresses like this is some movie where he’s the hero and I’m the heroine?
Like we’ll fall in love and live happily ever after.
“Do you need help?” Elenora says peeking in.
I shake my head. “I’m fine,” I tell her. I just have to get through this. Pick a dress. I don’t care which. Then I can go back upstairs and think. Try to work through this confusion.