Chapter 23 #3
So… I shut up. I slid the sunglasses Cian bought for me over my eyes and then leaned back in my chair. The sounds of the people around us faded into the background, replaced by the crash of waves hitting the shore. The wind tossed my hair around my forehead. Water swirled around my ankles.
With our chairs pressed together, armrests touching, Cian’s hand settled over mine. He squeezed once, and I couldn’t help but smile.
I hadn’t expected the ocean to be so loud, but it was—the constant whooshing echoing in my ears as the waves broke over and over again along the shore. It softened the sounds around me. Life felt less sharp.
I dozed off for a few minutes and woke up when my stomach growled, so I dug a granola bar out of the beach bag.
Cian was awake, staring straight ahead at the ocean.
A tiny human waddled in front of us wearing a yellow daisy swimsuit and a wide-brimmed hat.
I wasn’t exactly an expert in age estimation, but she was definitely a toddler, judging by the way she drooled around the sandy fist shoved in her mouth.
Cian lifted his sunglasses into his hair and made a face at her, crossing his eyes and puffing out his cheeks.
She gurgled with delighted laughter before stumbling off to where her dad stood holding a shovel and pail.
She stopped halfway, then turned and ran back toward Cian.
This time, he squinted one eye and stuck out his tongue.
She squealed and ran all the way back to her dad, who lifted her into the air and smiled at Cian.
Cian watched them play in the surf for a few moments, then he leaned back in his chair.
I stared at him. “You like kids?”
“They’re okay.” He unscrewed the cap from a bottle of water and gulped down half its contents.
“I spent my twenties as a surrogate dad to Jace. But I never saw him as a toddler. His mom never took any pictures, so…” His voice trailed off and he chewed his lip.
“Anyway. Patrick couldn’t get anything he wanted from Jace, so he pretended like he didn’t exist. Sometimes I think…
I think despite everything Patrick did to me, how he treated Jace was what really made me hate him. ”
I felt a pang in my heart. “Jace is lucky to have you.”
“I guess. Sometimes I wonder if I could’ve done more. Done better.”
“He loves you, Cian. And I…” I scrubbed at my face. “I thought Dennis was a decent brother. He was all I knew. But now I see how real brothers are supposed to act. He never protected me from my dad. He only cared when I could do something for him.”
“Still. I’m sorry you lost him.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Cian tugged on my arm. “Come on. Let’s go in.”
I stood up next to him. “Go in where?”
“The water, dumbass.” He didn’t wait for my answer, just held my hand, our fingers twined, and led me into the ocean.
I gasped as the cold water quickly rose past my knees, then my groin.
I swear my dick shriveled up and my balls tried to crawl back inside my body.
When water hit my waist, my skin erupted in goosebumps.
“Cian, it’s fucking freezing.” My teeth chattered. No one else was in the water this far out. Only our stupid asses.
“You’ll get used to it. Dunk your head under the next wave.” He demonstrated with a quick dip below the surface. I was chest-deep now. Sometimes I had to jump to keep my head above the waves.
I glared. “And how is getting more wet going to help?”
“Trust me.” He started to tug me deeper, and I balked. He turned to face me. “Wait, do you know how to swim?”
“Of course,” I said quickly. Too quickly. With an exaggerated scoff.
He squinted at me. “Dev. Can you swim?”
I swiped at a piece of seaweed on the surface of the water. “I had a two-week class in third grade.” There, that was embarrassing to admit.
But Cian didn’t make me feel like an idiot for not being born a fish.
He tugged me closer until I was plastered against his chest. “Wrap your legs around me,” he said softly.
I let my legs float up and wrapped them around his waist. Water dripped from his chin, and his long, dark eyelashes were clumped together from the seawater.
His vibrant blue eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled.
And his body felt so warm that I found myself clinging to his shoulders.
“Next wave, we’ll go under together. All right? ”
My stomach swooped. “Don’t let go.”
“Never,” he whispered.
The next wave came, and he counted to three before dunking us both. I closed my eyes as cold water swirled around us. We were underwater for a few seconds before we resurfaced. I sputtered as I clung to Cian.
He slicked my hair back from my forehead. “See? You already feel warmer, don’t you?”
I did, and that made absolutely no sense. “I guess so.”
He laughed as we floated on the surface of the water together. Sometimes he’d press kisses to my nose, my lips, my eyelids. I kissed him back, thankful that the cold water prevented me from getting anything more than a half-chub. I didn’t need to flash any beachgoers in these too-tight swim shorts.
“Hey Cian?”
“Yeah?” His head tilted as he watched a seagull fly overhead.
“I won’t let go either.”
His gaze met mine. Then he wrapped his arms around me and held me close while I buried my face in his neck. “I know,” he said against the shell of my ear. “Nothing separates us.”
We laughed and floated and hopped waves until my fingers resembled prunes. Cian carried me closer to shore, finally setting me down when the water reached hip-height.
“Therapy and swim lessons,” he said more to himself than me as we walked back to our chairs. “We’ll work on that.”
“Where the hell can I take swim lessons at my age?” I asked. “I’d feel ridiculous.”
He reached into the tote bag. “I’ll build a pool in the backyard and teach you myself.”
“That’s… unnecessary.”
“I’ll decide what’s unnecessary.” He pulled out the sunscreen. “Time to reapply.”
I still wasn’t over the whole building a pool thing, but he’d clearly moved on.
I propped my hands on my hips. “Are you serious?”
“You’re already getting pink, because you’re a pale Irish bastard.”
“You’re Irish, too,” I scoffed.
“I’m not a freckled redhead.”
I rolled my eyes, then I held my breath while he sprayed me down again. But inside my stomach fluttered at his care and attention. Like I was just a kid with a crush.
Back in our chairs, I fell asleep again while the sun continued its arc across the sky.
Cian walked away at one point, after a grunt to stay put, before returning twenty minutes later with a large pizza box.
I scarfed down the greasy slices like I hadn’t eaten in weeks.
When a seagull lurked nearby, I tore off a piece of crust for it.
“Don’t,” Cian barked as he slashed an arm across my chest, as if I’d almost walked into traffic.
I stared at him. “Overreaction, much?”
He jabbed a finger at me. “Don’t feed the fucking seagulls.”
“Why?”
“Because you feed one, and they tell all their little buddies. Then suddenly you’re surrounded by an entire swarm of fucking birds who shit all over your stuff.”
“That’s an intense escalation.”
“I mean it, Dev. Don’t. I’m not shampooing seagull shit out of your hair later.”
I stuffed the crust into my mouth as the bird stared at me with its beady black eyes. “Sorry. Dad said no.”
Cian snorted, and the seagull ruffled its feathers in response.
Later, when the sun had started to drop behind us, I heard a chorus of squawks followed by both a masculine holler and a feminine cry.
I turned to watch at least a dozen seagulls surround a blanket where a family of four cowered.
One kid was crying. The other was tossing French fries into the sand with abandon while his father shouted at him to stop.
Seagulls circled in the air, nearly blotting out the sun.
Feathers floated down from the sky. The sand was teeming with bird bodies as they all fought over fried potatoes.
The scene was like something out of a horror movie.
“See?” Cian murmured in my ear, a smile in his voice. “That’s why you don’t feed the fucking seagulls.”