19. Ridge
Nineteen
Ridge
“ D ad, dad! We want to watch Tangled for movie night!” Lily’s high-pitched plea rang out from the backseat, quickly followed by Avery’s echoing parrot call of “Tangled, Daddy! Pleassseeee!” As we return home from driving Cody to his friends place for a sleepover.
I couldn’t help the chuckle that rumbled up from my chest as my two favorite girls launched into their choreographed campaign for picking the evening’s movie. It was a routine as familiar to me as saddling up my horse - they’d beg and plead relentlessly until I finally gave in to whatever new Disney animated flick had captured their fleeting childhood fancies this week.
Slanting a look in the rearview mirror, I caught Lily’s wide hazel eyes locked on me imploringly while Avery bounced excitedly in her booster seat beside her big sister. The dimpled eight-year-old was putting on her best puppy dog pout, rosy lips pushed out dramatically as she aimed a beseeching look my way.
“Pretty please, Daddy?” she wheedled, little fingers playing with the ends of her golden pigtails. “We’ll be really, really good! And we can even watch it with Emma and Uncle Ethan!”
A jolt went through me at the innocent mention of Emma’s name, the pleased smile I had been wearing stretching wider across my face. The thought of the gorgeous, curvy girl next door with her thick chestnut waves and smattering of adorable freckles curled up on my living room couch to watch a silly kid’s movie was…decidedly appealing. Heat prickled across the back of my neck at the unbidden image that sprang to mind - Emma tucked into my side, her lush curves molding perfectly against me as she pillowed her head on my shoulder while we playfully bickered over plot points and details. God knew the sparks always seemed to fly whenever we were within five feet of each other.
Of course, I couldn’t dwell too long on that particular mental detour without winding up in some seriously inappropriate territory. Inappropriate for kids in the backseat, that is. Shaking my head to clear the haze of yearning, I refocused on the present moment.
“I don’t know, princesses,” I drawled, keeping my tone light and casual. “Uncle Ethan and Emma are both pretty busy people. I’ll have to check if they can make it before we get our hopes up about a family movie night.”
The disappointed groans from the backseat were almost comically pitiful. Lily even threw her head back dramatically against the headrest, golden ponytail swaying with each anguished sound of injustice.
“But Daaaaaaad! We want Emma to come!” she wailed, kicking the back of my seat for emphasis.
Yeah, me too…but not in the same way, a small voice in the back of my mind muttered.
Instantly, the image of Emma’s bright hazel eyes and warm smile flickered through my thoughts. The soft curves of her body, just hinted at beneath one of her flowy sundresses. I could vividly imagine the way those skimpy things would cling to her in all the right places as I worked my way slowly up those legs, pushing the fabric aside to finally –
“Dad!”
Lily’s shrill voice and the solid thunk of her sneaker against the back of my seat yanked me violently back to reality. I felt a flush of shame creep up my neck as I realized where my mind had wandered to. What was I doing fantasizing about Ethan’s baby sister like some kind of goddamn pervert?
“Okay, okay,” I said gruffly, hoping to regain some sense of composure. “We’ll ask your uncle. But don’t get your hopes up too high, you hear? They’re both plenty busy.”
But even as I said the words, my thoughts were nowhere near my best friend and his hectic schedule at the winery. Instead, all I could picture was Emma. Emma’s knowing grin as I try to stamp down the blatant hunger that must be written all across my face whenever we are around each other lately. The simple, aching desire to be close to her that had been burning hotter and hotter the more I tried to deny it.
Ever since the night on the rooftop something had awoken inside me. At first, it had been easy to dismiss as a fleeting crush, the type of superficial physical attraction a guy feels when he sees a beautiful woman but now I feel protective of her, possessive of her her.
Those sparks of chemistry I thought I was imagining started to feel like a gravitational pull, drawing me in closer whether I wanted it or not. And lately, I could no longer deny that I very much wanted it.
Maybe it was the way Emma always seemed to meet my eyes for just a beat too long, chin dipped in that subtle way that drove me crazy. Or her energetic presence that made her seem to crackle with life, a force of nature I both feared and yearned to be swept up in. Even her mannerisms - constantly twisting a lock of hair or tapping her fingertips in that telltale rhythm only made me want to reach out and still her nervous motions myself.
This had to stop. The lingering stares, the vivid imagination that made it difficult to look at Emma without picturing her in a variety of compromising positions, the acute awareness of her proximity anytime we were in the same room – it was becoming unhealthy. Obsessive, even.
I was a grown man, a father of three wonderful kids who deserved better than for their dad to start leering at the first pretty girl who batted her eyelashes in his direction. Granted, the attraction wouldn’t be so maddening if said girl wasn’t also his best friend’s conniving little sister who likely saw me as some creaky old cowboy.
The hot rush of desire coupled with the tight coil of shame and guilt made me want to slam on the brakes right there. Instead, I white-knuckled the steering wheel and shoved those inappropriate thoughts violently from my mind. I needed to get a grip on myself.
Emma and I could never happen. It was wrong on a dozen different levels. She was too young, too vibrant and full of life. Meanwhile, I was a dusty ranch owner going through a four-year dry spell, embarrassingly out of practice in all things romance and intimacy ever since Melissa left and even before that. My life revolved around chickens and cattle and ensuring my kids wanted for nothing, not yearning after some unattainable fantasy woman a decade younger than me.
When we finally rumbled up the long drive to the ranch house, I killed the engine and sat for a long moment, hands still clenched tight around the wheel. The girls hopped out, their giggles and babbling about whatever movie snacks they wanted fading into the background static in my mind. I stared unseeingly at the rusted ranch gate, my jaw locked rigid.
This was a problem I couldn’t outrun or shove to the side anymore. As much as it made my blood run hot with shame, I would be lying if I said these feelings weren’t quickly becoming all-consuming in the worst way.
The image of Emma, rosy-cheeked and breathless beneath me on those rumpled sheets, resurfaced unbidden in my mind’s eye. I cursed under my breath and pushed out of the truck, slamming the door harder than necessary. Yeah, I had it bad. And if I didn’t get a handle on this raging lust sooner rather than later, I was going to do something unforgivably stupid like actually try to make one of those feverish daydreams a reality.
There was only one solution, as unappealing as it might be: I would have to severely limit my time around Emma from now on. No more casual drop-ins at the vineyard under the flimsiest of pretenses. No more fridaying out on the back patio shooting the breeze over a couple of Lonestar tall boys as the sunset painted the world in shades of burnished gold and rose – the kind of evenings where our conversation and laughter flowed so easily that I almost forgot she was just about a decade too young for the direction my thoughts often strayed.
I called up Ethan while the girls chattered excitedly in the backseat. “Yo Big Daddy!” he says
“Please don’t say that,” I tell him and he chuckles
“What’s up Ridge.?” He asks
“Hey man, you free this evening? Lily and Avery were actually wondering if you and Emma might be able to join us for a family movie night?” I glanced in the rearview mirror at Lily’s hopeful expression. “They really want Emma to come watch Tangled with us.”
There was a brief pause before Ethan responded. “Sure thing, we’d love to.Have you called Em or should I? You know how she gets wrapped up in her projects.”
A soft smirk played across my lips as I thought about Emma, no doubt holed up in her eccentric shed office, obliviously poring over the estate’s social media presence and upcoming event schedule. She had a remarkable ability to seamlessly merge her creative passion with keen business savvy.
“Yeah, that sounds like Emma alright,” I said, feeling an unexpected swell of affection. “I don’t have Emma’s number so you do it. Just let me know what she says. If you both can make it, we’ll do the movie around 9?”
“You got it. Oh, and I’ll bring some wine from the vineyard to make it a proper occasion,” Ethan added with a wry chuckle before ending the call.
Lily’s voice piped up as I entered my Ranch house. “Is Emma coming, Dad? Didja ask Uncle Ethan?”
“He’s checking with her now, princess,” I replied as I ushered them to shower and then into their PJs “Why don’t you two head inside and get the living room ready? I’ll be right behind you after I get cleaned up a bit.”
I ushered Avery and Lily inside, stealing a moment alone to climb the stairs to my bedroom with uncharacteristic haste. Despite my typically low-maintenance self, I found myself standing before the full-length mirror and fussing with my appearance in a way I couldn’t recall doing since…well, a long time.
Stripping off my dusty ranch clothes, I turned on the shower and stepped beneath the steaming spray, giving myself a cursory scrub and appreciating the way the pulsing water sluiced away the day’s grime and tension. As I lathered up my hair, I inhaled the invigorating cedary notes of my shampoo and ruminated on the unexpected flutters coursing through me at the prospect of seeing Emma again.
Truthfully, my feelings regarding the lovely, free-spirited woman had become…complicated of late. Increasingly, my mind would drift to her at the most unexpected moments—when I’d spot a blooming lavender field swaying in the evening breeze, or read a verse of whimsical poetry, or indulge in the plummy bouquet of one of the estate’s finer vintages.
It was foolish, I knew, to dwell on someone so inherently vibrant and unfettered, someone who seemed to flit through the world like a kaleidoscopic hummingbird while I remained stubbornly earthbound. Except lately, the thought of Emma’s warmth and unrestrained laughter had increasingly beckoned to me like a siren call amidst the loneliness.
Shaking my head at my uncharacteristic woolgathering, I toweled off and swiped a palm across the fog-misted mirror to take in my reflection. It wasn’t as if I was an ugly man, not by any stretch—my chiseled features and the rigorous demands of ranch life had ensured I maintained a lean, muscular physique well into my late 30s. And yet, I couldn’t quite seem to muster much enthusiasm about my external surface trappings or to silence those nagging inward whispers that perhaps I’d become too calloused…too world-weary and closed-off in the wake of Mellisa’s departure.
I run a hand through my damp hair, tousling it just how I know Emma secretly appreciates. Not that I’m trying to impress her or anything. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I give my reflection one last onceover in the mirror, straightening the soft cotton henley that skims my torso.
With Lily and Avery waiting downstairs, I know I need to get a handle on these wandering thoughts and feelings where Emma is concerned. She’s my neighbor, my friend, and most importantly, Ethan’s baby sister. Surely these…stirrings are just temporary insanity brought on by being a single dad for too long.
Yeah, that has to be it. I’m just starved for some long-overdue female companionship, that’s all. Emma’s kind heart and warm spirit are bound to appeal to any lonely soul, not to mention her smiling beauty and effortless grace. But I need to get a grip before I make a fool of myself tonight.
By the time I rejoin the girls in the living room, I’ve managed to plaster on what I hope is a relaxed, unbothered expression. Lily is settling on the couch, bowl of popcorn in her lap, while Avery sits hugging one of her stuffed animals nearby, looking as excited as any three-year-old can for a Disney movie night.
“You ladies get everything all set up?” I ask, ruffling Avery’s feathery blonde hair as I pass by. She beams up at me with cherubic delight.
“Yep, all ready for Emma and Uncle Ethan!” Lily chirps. “When are they gonna get here?”
As if on cue, there’s a cheerful rap on the front door. My pulse instantly kicks up a notch, which is utterly ridiculous. I need to get a grip on myself. As I pull open the door to that bright, welcoming smile and those soft, intelligent eyes, I can feel the planet itself shuddering off its axis…
FUCK.