11. Vani
CHAPTER 11
Vani
I manage to get to my classes on time and keep my head down.
I can sense everyone talking about me, the way their heads lean together, and they shoot furtive glances over to me, hiding their mouths behind their hands. This is the last thing I wanted, but I guess in some way I brought this upon myself. If only I hadn’t taken my bike out last night. That was a dumb fucking move.
My Harley is parked in the lot outside—Lex text me a photo of it there—though I haven’t had the chance to check out the damage. I’m grateful to the Vipers for going and picking it up for me. They didn’t have to do that. They could have left it for me to deal with, which would have been a headache all of its own.
I still find myself avoiding them, though. I’m so confused, and I don’t know what to think. Angelica and the others seem pretty convinced the Vipers were behind what happened to Reagan, but even they haven’t been able to give me a solid answer as to why. I also don’t trust myself when I’m around them. They have a way of getting into my mind and body that I don’t seem to have any control over. When I’m not with them, they’re all I can think about. I relive every touch and kiss and erotic word they’ve ever spoken to me. Just thinking about them sends a tingling heat between my thighs, and my nipples tighten.
Is it possible to be addicted to a person, or persons? Is that why I can’t seem to get enough, no matter what they say or do?
For the most part, they act like assholes, but then I get tiny glimpses—like them picking my bike up for me, without me even asking, or them defending me against fat-shaming idiots—where I can see a caring, softer side. What Zane has been through breaks my heart, and while I don’t feel like Saint or Lex have really let me in yet, I’m sure they’ve got a darker story behind them, too.
Right before lunch is the math class my dad fought for me to take. My stomach is in knots because I know Lex will be in this class with me. The last time I saw him, I was naked and crying and throwing him out of my room. I still think I did the right thing by making him leave, but I shouldn’t have let him fuck me in the shower prior to that, no matter how insanely hot it had been.
I arrive early, and I’m relieved to discover Lex isn’t here yet. I take my seat and slide low in the chair, trying to make myself as small as possible, hoping to vanish. If I hadn’t been so worried about Rossi having yet another reason to expel me, then I’d have skipped. I guess my not wanting to be expelled means I’ve decided to stay. While running back to my dad would be one option, it would mean having to explain too much. Besides, if I run, I’ll never find out what happened to Reagan.
But, if I am honest with myself, I’d also admit it’s because the thought of never seeing any of the Vipers again feels like gutting myself.
A random student takes the seat next to me, and someone else I don’t know slides into the one on the opposite side. I keep my head down, my hair falling over my face in a shield, and pretend to be fascinated by my textbook. I already know most of the math we’re being taught, and I barely need to concentrate to know the answers, but right now I’m acting as though it’s the most interesting thing I’ve ever read.
“Up,” a male voice commands from my right.
“I’m already sitting here,” another replies.
“I said get the fuck up.”
My stomach sinks. It’s Lex. I peep through my hair at him. He’s standing next to the poor person who sat beside me. The guy is refusing to move, and Lex looks like he’s about to blow. A muscle ticks beneath his eye, and his square jaw is clamped shut.
He grabs the guy by the neck of his shirt and hauls him out of the chair, then throws him halfway across the room.
“Jesus, Lex!” I exclaim.
Lex throws the guy’s belongings after him.
“Fucking asshole,” the young man mutters, but picks up his stuff and finds another seat.
With obvious satisfaction, Lex slides into the now vacant seat.
“Hey, Venom,” he says to me.
I shake my head and focus on my books.
“Don’t fucking ignore me,” he warns.
“I’ll do what I like, and you should respect me enough to understand that I need some space.”
“No.”
I cock an eyebrow. “No?”
“You don’t get to have fucking space from us. You don’t get to run in the middle of the night, and not expect us to come after you. You’re ours now, Venom, whether you like it or not.”
I close my eyes and shake my head. “Fuck off, Lex. I can’t deal with this shit right now.”
The math professor walks into the room, and the hum of activity drops down a level.
Lex stretches out one long leg, the thigh muscles defined beneath his jeans, and nudges my foot with his. I refuse to look at him.
“Ours,” he repeats. “Even if you make us want to tie you up and hurt you at times.”
I shiver at his words and try to focus on what the professor is saying. It’s nearly impossible. My entire body fizzes at Lex’s proximity, and it’s like my head is full of bees. I barely notice my injuries from the crash when he’s this near. He blocks out all other sensation.
Tie me up. Would they really do that? I picture myself naked and bound with ropes cutting into my skin. I imagine them circling me like a pride of hungry lions, figuring out which hole they want to fuck first. The worst part is that the thought creates tension between my thighs, my pussy growing wet, and leaving me desperate and needy. I must be so messed up to take that threat as anything other than what it is.
They want to hurt me.
Somehow, I manage to get through class. The moment the bell signals an end to it, I leap from my seat, needing to escape.
By some miracle, the professor calls for Lex to stay behind, buying me a moment to get out of there without him following me. It allows me to breathe deeply for the first time in the past hour.
I still haven’t eaten anything yet today. The giant coffee I drank first thing swirls uncomfortably in my stomach. I know I need to force something solid down, though.
On my way to the cafeteria, I run into the tall, blonde girl I know is called Mackenzie. With her is a shorter, dark-haired girl who looks more like me.
“Ivani!” Mackenzie pulls me in for gentle hug. “Oh, my God, how are you? I heard what happened.”
“I’m okay,” I say, but my chin trembles at her kindness. I’m in that mood where even the slightest nice thing makes me want to cry. “And thank you for asking.”
“It can be rough with men like the Vipers.” Mackenzie shoots the girl next to her a knowing glance. “And believe me, I’m not the Vipers’ biggest fan. But they are worth it, in the long run.”
Her words warm me inside, but I wonder if there’s a story behind that look she sent the dark-haired girl. “How could you tell?”
She shrugs. “I was in your place not so long ago. I recognized the look on your face. That kind of torment doesn’t come from falling off your bike.”
I manage to tug the corners of my mouth into a smile. “No, you’re right. It doesn’t.”
She gives my hand a squeeze. “I’d better get going, but if you need a friend, you know where I am—probably surrounded in diapers and bottles.”
I laugh. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
While diapers and milk bottles definitely aren’t my scene, there’s a certain normality to it that makes it sound appealing. Babies are much easier to think about than suicidal girls, and weirdos in the woods, and bullying men who can’t keep their hands off me.
I head into the cafeteria, and, to my relief, I spot Angelica, Jarena, and Faith already seated at a table. There’s nothing worse than standing awkwardly in the middle of a college cafeteria with nowhere to sit. It doesn’t look like either of the other Vipers are here—they might have gone out to their hangout spot, the mansion. I hope they have. Keeping their distance from me only makes my life easier.
I get in line to order some food. I go for the plainest thing they have available, a slice of margarita pizza, and a Coke for the sugar and caffeine hit. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to eat, but I decide I have to try. If I’m going to survive here, I need to stay strong, and that means both mentally and physically. I carry my tray over to the table, and I’m greeted with a chorus of welcomes. Right now, despite my mixed feelings toward them at times, I’m so grateful to have these girls on my side—and for girls like Mackenzie, too.
We all need to stick together. I hope I can become real friends with them. I need that kind of cushion if I’m going to make it through the next few years.
I wonder what went so wrong for Reagan that she didn’t feel she could confide in anyone else.
“How are you doing?” Faith asks, her palm covering the back of my hand.
I manage a nod. “It’s been a rough morning, but I’m getting there.”
She angles her head. “Why has it been rough?”
I take a sip of my Coke. “You know, just having everyone gossiping about me.”
“It’ll blow over soon enough. There’s always new drama at Verona Falls.”
Three shadows fall over the table.
Instinctively, I know who they are without needing to look up. My body is primed for their presence, my senses on full alert. Every nerve-ending in my skin seems to fizz to life. My ears are suddenly strained, and my nose takes in the mixture of their scents.
“Why the fuck are you ignoring us, Vani?” It’s Saint doing the talking.
I lower my voice to a hiss. “Why do you think?”
“Because you believe a bunch of rumors over us?” He shoots Angelica a glare that could turn most people to ash.
She shrugs, seeming unperturbed by their presence. “I just filled the girl in on what everyone knows is true. Don’t blame us for that. If you weren’t fucking bullies in the first place, rumors like that wouldn’t get started. First it was Reagan, and then it was Camile, and when she wasn’t interested, you turned to Vani.”
My stomach churns. Was Camile the girl with Mackenzie? What’s the story there? Everyone is looking again, and I want to slide under the table and hide. But I can’t do that. I need to stand up to these men.
I push my uneaten pizza to one side and stand. “Let’s go.”
“Vani!” Faith cries, reaching for my hand to pull me back.
“It’s okay. I can handle them.” I’m not sure I can, actually, but I need to try. I turn my attention to Zane and the twins. “Let’s go outside. I’m not going to talk to the three of you with an audience.”
The rest of the room suddenly finds their food and each other more interesting, swiveling away from the scene playing out in front of them. I steel myself for what’s to come and try to breathe through my pounding heart rate, and the way my blood is rushing through my ears.
Then I step away from the table and follow the Vipers out of there.