18. Vani
CHAPTER 18
Vani
I can’t believe this is happening.
Lex gave me a safe word. He said if I use it, he’d make everything stop. That word was Harley, and right now, it’s dancing on the tip of my tongue. I’m about to get fucked in the ass, while I’m bound in rope, and honestly, I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to feel about this. One part of my brain is screaming, “No, don’t. It’s too much!” While the other part really wants to see where all this leads.
It’s simultaneously the most erotic and terrifying experience of my life.
I came here with an idea, the early formations of a plan, but as usual, these men are scrambling my brains. I’m far too turned on to leave and safe word out of this, but I’m also scared to death of where this will go. The air is charged with danger and an edge of violence. Maybe I’m a sicker puppy than I ever realized because I like it, and that makes me as fucked up as them.
Glancing at Saint as he passes his twin the lube, his eyes unfocused and almost wild with need, I shiver.
Will they even pay attention to the safe word? I honestly don’t know. They seem to think I’m lying about my reason for being here, that I’m working for Jarl Olsen, and he plans to get his revenge. Is that what they really believe? If that is the case, doesn’t that make them guilty? Why would they be so paranoid about it if they were innocent?
Does that mean I’m bound and getting fucked by my sister’s three killers?
This is all so fucked up. But I still don’t use the safe word.
There’s that little part of me that wants to see where this madness leads, and a part of me wants to make them think they’re winning. Make them think they’re in charge, because I have figured something out—these men are as obsessed with me as I am with them.
They aren’t screwing other women. I’m not their pump and dump, to use the horrible term some of the bikers throw around. I’m not one of many. I’m their only girl right now. The one they can’t stay away from. They’re insane, and obnoxious, and fucking sexy as hell with it, but they’re also as messed up in the head about me as I am about them, and I plan to somehow use that against them.
If it means I get my rocks off too, then all the better, I tell myself, repeatedly, that’s it. That’s all there is to this. I’m not doing any of this because part of me needs it more than air. Of course not.
Love, hate. What a fine dividing line we walk between the two.
How to make them pay without falling for them all over again? That’s my dilemma.
I can’t shame them because they’re guys and this is fine according to our world of double standards. The three of them and me isn’t bad for anyone’s reputation except mine.
I have thought about this as I stewed in my room after they wrote about me on the lockers. One thing I do know is they get jealous of one another when it comes to me, and something tells me that’s a new experience for them. What if I make that experience a whole lot worse?
Play them off against one another.
The three of them are like one person in many ways. They seem to share an innate understanding of one another, and they even share their own version of sign language. They still have their own needs and desires, however. What if I get between them and use those needs and desires as the very thing to drive a wedge between them?
Lex smooths his hand down my spine, as if he’s taming a wild horse. It’s not a bad analogy because I’m two seconds away from bolting. The way these guys are tonight, I’m scared he’s going to actually hurt me.
The pop on the lube bottle is deafening because of what it signifies.
“ Putain de merde ,” Saint murmurs, as if he’s awe struck watching Lex and me.
It’s uncomfortable in this position because of how I’m tied. My knees are on the floor, and Lex has me rested on elbows and hands that are now bound in front of me. He oils himself up, the sound of flesh against flesh loud enough to hear. There’s a pause, and I tense, despite not knowing what is happening, before I feel a cold shock as he drizzles some of the lube over my most sensitive and secret spot.
He lines his head up with me, and I experience a jolt of panic. I don’t know if I can do this. As if he senses that at any moment I’m going to scream out the safe word he gave me, Lex leans over me and kisses my neck gently.
“You can do this,” he says. “It will make us all so hot. You included. Trust me, it will feel so good, once you get past the initial burn.”
As if he would know. It’s fine, him whispering pretty nothings in my ear, but he’s not the one about to be impaled.
“And when you’re all stretched around me, mon ange ,” he continues, “then you can take my brother as well.”
I let out a little squeak. “What?”
“It was what we always planned, remember? One twin in your ass, and another in your pussy?”
“Oh, God.”
“Saint, come and get into position, so you’re ready for her,” Lex commands.
Saint does as he’s ordered and lies on his back on the rug. He maneuvers himself to lie beneath me. My tied hands are crushed between both our bodies, and his erection presses against my leg. Lex runs a hand around my hip, over my stomach, and down until he’s stroking between my swollen lips. He rubs two fingers down me and strokes right over my swollen clit. I gasp at the dual sensations and almost don’t notice as he slides the tip of his cock into my ass. It stings and burns a little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.
Shit, he’s doing it, this most forbidden of acts and if that wasn’t dirty enough, another man, his damn twin, is lying under me, sucking on my tits, his cock pressing into my lower thigh.
It doesn’t feel that bad, I think. There isn’t the pain I was expecting. Lex pushes in a little bit farther, grunting animalistically behind me. But then as he pulls out and pushes back in, going even deeper, I cry out as the pain hits. He stops moving, and instead of thrusting in and out he simply stays still as he pets my pussy.
“I want to oil these tits up and smother myself with them,” Saint says as he pauses to talk for a moment.
The guy has a tit-fetish that seems a mile wide and a canyon deep.
I can’t speak to reply, though, because Lex has my clit trapped between two fingers, and he’s squeezing it, and I think I’m going to fall over the edge. But then he stops, just as I feel the pleasurable contractions begin, and I almost sob.
“Why are you here, really?” he whispers.
He bites the shell of my ear.
“I damn well told you,” I say on a moan as he resumes his stroking.
He drizzles more lube around my opening and pushes in a little deeper.
“Breathe for me, Vani.”
I do as he orders and try to breathe around the burn.
“You’re doing so good,” he says. “I’m almost all the way in, and you’re taking it beautifully. You’re such a good, perfect girl.”
His praise always turns me on, but then so does Saint’s degradation, and I’m not sure what that says about me.
“Now you’re ready to take my brother, too.”
“I-I don’t know if I can.”
“You can,” he says with confidence.
I wonder if the twins have done this before—fucked a girl at the same time—and I hate the jealousy that rises within me. I guess they’re not the only ones affected by the green-eyed monster.
Saint takes his attention away from my tits to reach between us. He knocks Lex’s hand out of the way, and with the pop of a button and the rasp of the zipper, frees himself. He shifts his position, dragging my bound breasts down his chest, bringing his cock in line with my pussy.
“Fuck, you’re such a dirty slut,” he says. “This pussy doesn’t deserve to be filled.”
He rubs me again, smoothing his cockhead and precum over my clit. With Lex’s cock still filling my ass, the sensation is like being hit by lightning, and I jerk and clench my inner muscles. Over my shoulder, Lex sucks air in over his teeth, and I know he felt that. I wonder what else he can feel. When Saint pushes inside me, will he be able to feel his brother?
Saint nudges his hips up, and the first inch or so of his cock slides inside my pussy. “Are you a little anal whore who loves to take my brother in her ass?” he says. “Do you love having twins fucking you at the same time?”
He pushes deeper and I can’t help myself. “Yes. Oh, God, yes.”
“This pussy and ass are going to be stretched so much from taking us both.”
He drives in fully, so now I have both brothers seated deep inside me. They hold still, giving me time to adjust. My head is spinning, and it’s as though I’ve been drugged.
I lift my head and see Zane sitting, facing us, with his legs spread, slowly jacking himself. His face is a mask of concentration, and his teeth are gritted. There is sweat beading his brow, and the head of his cock is purple.
“Thank Daddy Zane for giving you such a good show,” Lex orders.
I blink. “What?”
“Thank. Him. Say it nicely. Thank you, Daddy Zane.”
This is so ridiculous, but it is turning me on the same way everything else is about this insane night. “Thank you, Daddy Zane,” I gasp.
The green and gold of his eyes darken, and he pushes out bead after bead of pre-cum. He is silent as always, but he clearly likes watching me get fucked by the twins.
“We ought to buy a milking machine for these tits,” Saint says as he rolls his hips, making my toes curl with pleasure. He cups one of my breasts again and pinches my nipple. “I saw it once in a video.”
He punctuates his words by driving deeper inside me. Lex seems to take this as a command to move, because he slides out of my ass and then slams back in. I let out a yelp, but I’m bound between them and utterly at their mercy. I press my forehead to Saint’s shoulder, our skin damp with sweat. The twins hold me between them as they find their rhythm, awkward at first, but then working together like a well-oiled machine. I lose myself in the combination of pain and pleasure, caught between these two gorgeous, identical men, their cocks thrusting in and out of me. My pleasure builds, and I’m sure it won’t be long before I’m toppling over the edge.
“Would you like that? Huh, Vani?” Saint gasps. “To be our beautiful, perfect milkmaid?”
“Jesus fuck,” Lex groans and he pulses in me as he starts to come. “ Merde .”
Did he just come without meaning to? Did I make him lose it? The thought of me like that?
He doesn’t stop fucking me immediately but keeps sliding in and out until he softens so much, he slips out.
Saint hasn’t finished, though, and he slams his hips up, his fingers digging into the side of my ass. My orgasm builds, and I do my best to fuck him back, despite being all tied up. I wish my hands were free so I could touch my clit. I desperately need stimulation there.
“Not yet,” Lex commands, and Saint immediately stops.
He utters a curse and pulls out of me. My pussy is bereft without his cock, and I cry out. I’d been so close.
Saint fists his cock, working himself, and his hot cum spurts all over my stomach.
I let out a groan and try to rub my clit against Saint, desperate to get off, but he slides out from under me, leaving me face down on the rug, my legs still bound and hands squashed beneath me.
I relax a little as I think at least that is over. Not that it wasn’t hot. I was starting to like it, but it scares me too. Letting them own every part of me. But then Lex’s fingers spread my ass a little and he kneels behind me. I feel him fucking staring. What is he doing?
“I love seeing you like this. My cum pouring out of your ass. Shall we add Zane’s to the mix, or are you ready to talk?”
I squeak because no fucking way is Zane going in my ass after Lex. No way. I’ll be in agony.
Zane signs something.
“Oh, really?” Lex laughs. “Zane wants to try something. He bought a present for you.”
I frown. What does he mean? A present? I doubt it’s anything nice. Zane stands and kicks off the rest of his clothes, until he is gloriously naked in front of me. I’m still on all fours because it’s not easy for me to move.
Zane walks to a satchel style bag in the corner of the room and takes something out of it. I stare in disbelief as I see the size of the toy. It’s bigger than him. No way. Absolutely no way in hell. I shake my head, and Saint takes a look at what Zane is holding.
He laughs darkly. “Oh, yeah. This, I want to see.”
Saint picks me up as if I’m light as a doll. He sits me back down on the rug, my legs still tied together in a bent position.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“Watch and see.”
He makes quick work of re-tying my hands before fastening them, this time to the knots on my knees. I’m now sitting with my legs spread wide apart on the rug, and a wrist tied to a knot on the side of each bent knee.
I’m so very exposed like this, especially when Zane gestures at something in the corner, and Lex, grinning, goes and grabs some cushions, placing them on the floor. Together, they move me until I’m perched on the cushions, and they gently rest me back against the couch behind me. Now my pussy is raised and extremely on display.
I’m scared, vulnerable, but so turned on it hurts.
I’m soaked, and Saint runs his fingers through it. “Dirty little whore. Look at you staining our silk cushions with your juices.”
Zane settles himself in front of me. The expression in his eyes is intense, and he flicks them greedily between my pussy, my tits, and my face.
“He’s going to help you take this, our beautiful girl,” Lex says, gesturing at the obscene toy.
“What if I don’t want to?” I ask.
Lex says nothing, but I see the flash in his eyes that lets me know he’s thinking of the word, Harley , the same way I am.
Is he planning on reneging on his promise to me? That he’d back me up if I ever used it? He’d better not, or I’ll sneak into his room one night and cut his balls off. Not that I plan on using it right now. I need to come, and I know it won’t be what I’m craving if I run away to my room and have to get myself off. I want Lex to know that I hold him to his promise, though.
“There’s one thing that I won’t stand for,” I say, my voice surprisingly strong. “That’s if someone promises me something and then backs out on it.” I keep staring at Lex as I speak, and he swallows, his throat bobbing. “If someone were to do something like that, I’d never let them touch me again.”
“You’re really fucking fond of saying we can’t ever touch you again, and then reneging on it,” Saint observes, throwing my own thoughts back at me as if he read my mind.
“Not on this, I won’t,” I promise.
Let Lex sweat it. Let him worry for once about whether he’ll suddenly find himself on the outside. It’s always me being played with; I’ll enjoy turning the tables if I can.
Zane grabs the bottle of lube and distracts me from my thoughts of revenge. He pops the cap and drizzles the thick liquid over the huge, black toy in his hand. It’s anatomically correct, and even has thick veins running along its length, but its size is scary.
“Are you ready for us to loosen you up, putain ?” Saint asks.
I glare at him. He smirks nastily in return, but I know things about him, and I smile too. I know he’s this way because he needs it somehow. I know he’s got a verifiable fetish for big breasts. And that maybe he’s not quite as in control as he’d like to be. I saw the way he lost it with the Preachers right before I ran out of there. Saint wasn’t in control then, not at all. What would happen if he lost it, truly, with Lex or Zane?
I’m filing information on these men away in my mind, making a list of their kinks and preferences, and when the time is right, I’ll use it against them in the worst way.
Saint is clearly obsessed with my tits, but how badly? I’d love to find out.
“Wait,” I say just as Zane has that thing right at my entrance. “I want something in return.”
“What makes you think you get a say at all?” Saint cocks his head to one side.
“It’s not anything that’s hard for you to give,” I say. “All I want is to know one thing about each of you.”
“Like what?” Lex asks. “Our favorite color, or whatever our preferred meal is? Maybe you’d like to know what I want to watch on television when I’m chilling. None of those things really matter, though, do they? They don’t mean you really know a person. Not deep down. Now, let’s stop playing games and get on with the action.”
“You know, I agree with you.”
His eyes darken. I think he was expecting an argument.
“That’s why, I want to know something deeper. One question that I want you all to answer. Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to bare your souls and tell me your deepest fears.”
“I don’t have any fears,” Saint says.
I suppress my eye roll at his false bravado. I bet he has the most fears out of all three. The way he acts and his need to be in control at all times tells me that there are deep undercurrents, fast flowing and dangerous just below the surface.
“Of course not,” I say smoothly. “All I want to know from each of you, and this is a fun game, is what would you most like to do with me. If you could have me all to yourself for one night, say, what would you do with me?”
“That’s not the way we play,” Lex says. “We do this together. That’s our thing.”
“Except… for when you don’t. Do I have to point out all the times you’ve come to me alone? Although, when I think about it, I think you’ve had me to yourself the least, Lex.”
I have no idea if that’s true or not, but I’m enjoying messing with his head.
Zane lets out a sighing sound of frustration, and I turn my focus on him. He waves the toy in front of my face and shakes his head. Is he saying that he’s just going to shove it up there without telling me anything, or threatening not to use it on me?
I can’t tell, but I won’t back down now. They’ve taken so much from me. Every time I encounter them, I leave with a bit more of myself peeled away. Now, it’s their turn.
“Come on, what are you scared of? Big men like you. Scared of telling little old me one sexy, naughty secret. Saint, one night, you on your own with me, all night, what would you do?”
He swallows and his eyes trail down to my tits. Yeah, he’s obsessed .
“I’d suck your tits all night. I mean, all fucking night . Your nipples would be red, swollen, sore, and they’d need me to put ointment on them for days after.”
Holy shit, that shouldn’t get me as hot as it did. He’s a kinky bastard, for sure.
“Zane?” I glance at him, brows raised as if I’m a queen asking a subject, not a woman with her thighs spread and her pussy raised up on pillows.
He signs something, and Lex laughs. “He says he’d eat your pussy until you’re gushing, come in you, and then eat it again.”
Fairly vanilla, really—for these three, anyway.
“And you?” I ask Lex. “What would you do?”
He smiles at me, and it’s not dark and nasty like he can be, this is his mirror side. The aftercare lover who gets off on being gentle and kind, even though it’s a lie.
“I’d run you a bath and make you wash yourself in front of me while I watched. Then I’d braid your hair and kiss every single inch of your skin. If you wanted, I’d paint your nails whatever color you chose and rub cream all over your body until you were smelling of roses and coconut and all things summertime. Then when you were relaxed and sleepy and happy, we’d get into bed. You’d get under the covers, curl on your side and suck my cock, all night long. It would soothe you, and help you sleep. And if I got hard and came, you’d swallow it all down like a good girl and go back to sleep again.”
My face is on fire at his words.
That’s … I don’t have an answer to that. Wow. I don’t know if I hate it; I think I might actually like the idea. Maybe Saint isn’t the freakiest of the two of them. Lex has an active imagination for sure.
The way he’s behaving recently, though, he’d be lucky if I didn’t bite it off.
“You guys are so fucked up,” I say softly.
“Want to know a real secret?” Saint says. His face is serious, almost threatening.
I swallow and nod.
“The reason we are like this is because of our nanny. We were so young, Vani, and the things she did to us. Both of us…” His gaze loses its focus as he seems lost in the mists of time. He snaps back into the here and now. “Still, having your virginity taken by your nanny at fourteen should be a dream come true. And it made us good in bed, no?” He grins, trying to wash away the truth he’s just revealed with bravado.
I look at Lex to see his cheeks red, lips parted as he stares at his brother as if he’s grown another head. His reaction tells me this is not something they ever talk about. Does Zane know? I glance at him, and he’s not surprised. So, yeah, Zane knew.
“Didn’t your father go to the authorities?” I ask.
Lex lets out a bitter laugh. “He was too busy screwing his latest whores. You think we are bad men, but really, we’re fucking angels. After our upbringing, we should be certifiable psychos, but we take good care of you, don’t we?”
That last bit is debatable.
“I’ve always felt lonely, and as if I’m looking in on the world from the outside,” I blurt.
They gave me some of their truth, so I’m giving them some of mine. “I feel like I’m weird, and don’t fit in. Ever. Anywhere.”
“Fitting in isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, mon ange ,” Lex says softly.
Saint hums his agreement.
Zane taps his foot against the floor and pushes up abruptly from his chair and stalks across the room. He grabs a pad of paper from the side and one of the small pencils he often carries around. He writes something fast.
He pushes the paper at me, and I read.
The only time I don’t hate myself, and what I’ve become, is when I’m with you.
My heart picks up speed and hammers in my chest so hard I think it will burst.
Zane rips the paper up until it’s just confetti and throws it in the trash can.
“What did you confess, Zane?” Saint asks.
Zane just gives him the finger, and Saint chuckles. “Aw, was it your undying love?”
Zane shrugs, but my pulse races at the word ‘love.’
“Now, we’ve all shared our secrets, why don’t you tell us the one that matters the most?” Saint smiles at me, right before he grips my chin viciously and forces me to look up at him. “Tell us the truth. This isn’t a game, Vani. We are all getting in too deep, so you have to tell us. Why are you here, and why are you sneaking around stealing files? You say this girl was your sister, but that makes no sense. She looked nothing like you. She behaved nothing like you. You knew absolutely zero about her, so we don’t believe you.”
God, these boys are so damn paranoid it borders on delusional. They’re also giving me whiplash. Just when I think they’re showing me some connection and humanity, they go right back to being dicks. I get it. They’re freaked out about this, as am I, but their way of dealing with that is not healthy.
I shake my head in frustration. “I’ve told you the truth, repeatedly. You are deluded and paranoid if you don’t believe me. As for this crazy idea you’ve got that I’m somehow working for Reagan’s father, how does that make sense? You know I left here in a rush, upset and out of my mind, when I found out about what happened to her. Why the hell would I do that, if I already knew about her? Hell, I didn’t even take my phone. Do you know how upset someone has to be these days to forget their phone? I went to put the file back, and I was on my way to my room when I bumped into Angelica, and she told me what happened to Reagan. She told me about your involvement too. I was so upset I didn’t think clearly, and just had to get on my bike. I wasn’t wearing my helmet, I didn’t have my phone. Hell, I didn’t even have my purse or money on me. So, you tell me, who’s the liar? Because I don’t think it’s me.”
I can’t believe I’m having an argument with these men in such a position. I’m still horribly turned on and exposed to their needy eyes, which eat me up constantly as they talk to me.
“You can’t blame us for being paranoid,” Saint says. “You lied to us the whole time.”
“You never asked.” I’m losing my patience with them. I’m like a record stuck on repeat, and they can’t see that their paranoia is making their thinking clouded.
“You clearly need some more persuading to talk,” Lex says.
He gestures to Zane, who grins at me as he kneels once more, that massive toy in his hand.