33. Vani
33
VANI
I spend the rest of the day getting myself worked up about the cross country event. I’m not a great runner. I like some sports and am good at them, but running isn’t my thing, and not long distance. If I lose sight of the women, I’m scared what might happen to me. Angelica alluded that things could get bad.
Surely, though, that’s not allowed? This place is so strict and is supposed to have strong moral codes; it’s one of the reasons my father allowed me to come.
The next night, I’m even more stressed about it. I’m walking back to my room after a few hours in the library when I see Faith. She’s alone, so I run to catch up with her.
“Hey,” I say.
She turns to me and grins. “Oh, hi, Vani. What are you up to?”
“I’ve just been studying, and I’m going back to my room for a shower and an early night. I’m dreading this run tomorrow. How is your training going?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Not as good as it should be. I’m struggling to get the times I need. My father is big on me winning … at everything. He’s going to be pissed if I let him down.”
I smile at her. “I’m sure he’ll be proud of you no matter what.”
She laughs but it rings hollow. “You don’t know my father.”
I fiddle with the strings on my hoodie. “Faith, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure,” she says.
“This race. What did Angelica mean about bad things happening to me if I’m caught by some of the men? Surely that can’t be right?”
She sighs. “This place isn’t normal, Vani. You must understand as much, no?”
I nod because of course I do, but that’s why it’s so strict and hence why I thought such things wouldn’t be allowed.
“The fraternization rules can be strict.” She shrugs. “But that’s only if you’re already promised to someone. If not, you’re pretty much fair game. Any daughter who is already promised being publicly caught will be in major trouble, as her reputation will be ruined, but lots of shit goes on behind the scenes.”
“And the men?” I ask. “What happens to them?”
“Well, it depends. On who he is and who she is. Who her father is, and the man she might be getting married to. The discipline will come from the families, not so much the school.”
“You’re joking right? The guys get away with it?”
“No.” She stops walking and pulls me to one side, lowering her voice as a few students walk by. “They don’t get away with it. They won’t get dismissed, but they might lose their lives. Or a finger. Or get beaten.”
Her face is kind as she looks at me. “You might be from a world where the rules are different, but you’re clearly not from our world. The race is different, an event out of time, if you will. There are rumors, and they’re only rumors, that it’s kind of a free pass if something happens. No one knows if this is true because we can’t exactly ask the faculty, can we? It’s exaggerated bullshit, if you ask me, but because it’s the lore around the event, it really matters that no woman wanders off in the woods alone because rumors start that way, and if you can’t prove where you were? You’ll be labeled as a slut.”
I shake my head. I am regretting my choice to come here more and more.
“I won’t be as fast as you,” I say, “and I don’t want to hold you back. I’ll have to hope Angelica and Jarena wait for me.”
She purses her lips and grabs my hand. “Listen, Vani, don’t trust–”
“There you are.” Angelica rushes up to us and grabs Faith’s free hand. “We’re late for the pre-race drinks. You coming to the bar with us?” she asks me.
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” The last thing I need before the race is a night in a bar. I wish Faith had been able to finish what she started to tell me, but Angelica’s grip on her friend’s hand is firm.
“See you tomorrow,” Faith says as she’s practically dragged away. “Oh, don’t forget to tick your name off on the list,” she adds.
“List?”
“Yes, when you arrive tomorrow, your name will be on the list, with your number. Tick your name off, grab the number from the pile, and pin it to your top. See you tomorrow.”
I wave at her as she disappears, and then the importance of her words hits me.
There’s a list. I will be able to see if Reagan’s name is on it and find her number. I had considered chickening out of the race and saying I’d hurt my ankle, but nothing will keep me away now.