42. Vani
42
VANI
I ’m as relaxed as though I’ve had a spa weekend after the sex session with all three men. I think I glow like I have, and I’m sure everyone can see the difference in me. Who needs facials when you can have hot sex with three men?
The class I’m in is boring as hell, but I’m excited because tonight the girls are coming over. My first proper girls’ night, and I can’t wait. I still think they can be a bit difficult to judge at times, and I’m not sure if Angelica is really very nice, but they’re friends, of sorts. I never had girlfriends in the club. No way would my dad let me hang around with the bar girls, and the Ol’ Ladies avoided me most of the time, too, and many of them were a lot older than me.
I feel like everyone must know by now that there’s something going on between me and the Vipers. I can’t help the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth every time I see one of them, and I know they shoot me ‘fuck-me eyes’ from across the cafeteria or hallway. But I also don’t want to get a name for myself, so I do my best not to spend any time with them in public. I saw the disdain on the girls’ faces when they talked about Mackenzie and the Devils. I don’t want them thinking of me the same way, but, in some ways, I’m beginning not to care.
I know it doesn’t make any sense, but the slight soreness and ache I still have between my legs from being with the guys makes me braver. Like I have a secret deep inside me that somehow elevates my status. Or maybe it’s because I feel more like a woman now than I ever did before. If men like the Vipers want to be with me, then surely that means there’s something about me that’s worth the time.
The girls’ evening arrives, and I’m in my room, getting ready. I’ve tidied the place up, but it looks strangely bare. I hope the girls won’t judge my lack of belongings. I bet they were sent here with a whole moving truck of goods, whereas I only had what could fit on the back of the bikes.
A knock comes at my door, and I hop off my bed to answer it.
Angelica, Jerena, and Faith stand on the other side. They all look perfect, as always, and once more I feel self-conscious in my far more casual attire.
Angelica waves a bottle of sparkling white wine in the air. “Got some glasses, bitch?”
She pushes past me into the room, and the other two follow.
“Umm, yeah, but they’re only water glasses,” I say, shutting the door behind them.
“That’ll do.”
I go to fetch them, and she pops the cork and pours us each a glass.
Jarena empties her bag onto my bed. “We have face masks, hair masks, and foot masks. By the end of tonight, we’ll all look ten years younger.”
Angelica raises an eyebrow at her. “So you want us to look ten?”
Jarena rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
I take a good gulp of my wine, needing it to relax. Why do I find it easier to be in the company of the Vipers than I do with these girls? I’ve grown up surrounded by men, so maybe that’s it. Or maybe it’s that I know the Vipers want to be with me because I give them pleasure—as they do me—where I’m still not totally sure why these girls want to spend time with me.
“Shall we put on some music?” Angelica suggests. “What’s on your playlist?”
My cheeks color. “Oh, umm, I’m not sure it’ll be your thing.”
She puts out her hand for my cell phone, and, despite my reservations, I hand it over. She opens the app and pulls a face. “Yikes, what are you? Some kind of emo kid?”
Jarena laughs with her, and my mortification deepens. Yeah, I have the music taste of a moody teenage boy, but I can’t help liking what I like.
“So, what was it like growing up in an MC?” Jerena asks, throwing herself onto my bed. “Were there a ton of hot bikers around?”
“Yeah, some.” I’m uncomfortable with her questions.
“Did you get to fuck any of them?”
I stick with the lie I told the Vipers. “Not from my club. My dad would never allow it. But I hung out with some guys from a rival club.”
She waggles her eyebrows. “Hung out, like fucked them over the back of their bikes?”
Angelica lets out a sigh. “Ignore her. She’s still a virgin, so she’s trying to live vicariously through everyone else.”
“It’s not my fault,” Jarena pouts. “But I am looking for tips, so if you have any, let me know. I’d hate to be a disappointment to my husband on our wedding night.”
“Looking how you do,” I say, “I can’t imagine such a thing is possible.”
“Aww, you’re sweet. So,” she rolls onto her stomach and props her chin on her hand, “what’s your body count, then?”
I realize she’s asking how many guys I’ve slept with. “Three,” I answer truthfully.
“I’m only ever going to sleep with my husband. I think any more than that is a little slutty.”
“Jarena!” Faith cries. “Don’t slut shame Vani!”
My cheeks pinken. “No, it’s fine. Everyone’s different. I just don’t want to get old and look back and have regrets.”
“Fair,” Angelica says. “Hey, can I charge my phone? I totally forgot to do it earlier.” She waves her phone and charger at me.
“Yeah, of course. The plug is over there.”
“Thanks, babe.” She wanders over to charge her phone, and then straightens and looks around. “You don’t have much stuff in your room.”
“No, I prefer the minimalistic look,” I lie.
Angelica goes to my desk and yanks open one of the drawers. Who does she think she is? The girl is so domineering.
Shit. I suddenly remember the file I took from the dean’s office.
How am I going to explain having another girl’s file? Maybe it’ll be a good way to finally bring up the subject of my sister and find out if they know her, but I’m also fully aware that I will look like a complete stalker if they find it.
I’m already conscious of what these girls think of me, and I don’t want them to leave here whispering about me behind their hands.
Why the hell do I still have the folder, anyway? Saint already got his eyes on it, and the fact the Vipers know I have it still worries me. I should have gotten rid of it then.
I wonder why the Vipers haven’t asked me about it. Aren’t they curious about the reason behind me breaking into the dean’s office? I know I would be. But maybe this place just teaches people to mind their own business. Or perhaps they simply don’t care, or they were too distracted having their fun with me to think about it.
A tiny voice tells me it’s because I don’t matter to them, and therefore what I do doesn’t matter, but I shake it off, preferring to let the powerful feeling stay and not give in to thoughts of being inadequate.
Still, either way, I need to sort the file out, and it’s a sign of how screwed up my head is that I haven’t done so yet.
It’s clear the dean hasn’t noticed the file is missing, but I’m guessing that’s because he’s not needed to use it for any reason. I got lucky with that. If he did notice it missing, he might decide to do a room search, and if that happened, I’d be screwed for sure. The dean would be straight on the phone to my dad, who would then insist on taking me home. I’d promised him no trouble, and breaking into the dean’s office and stealing things doesn’t count as not getting in trouble.
I pause, pondering what I should do. I could destroy the file—burn it or tear it up into tiny pieces and try to flush it—but then the chances of the dean noticing it missing will only increase as each day passes. What if Dean Rossi decides to do a search, and the Vipers drop me in it, rather than have him search their rooms? After all, they might not know who the folder belongs to, but they know I took something. I’d like to think people know not to be snitches in this place, but I can’t rely on that.
I think of the Dean’s office and the secretary’s desk positioned in an alcove to one side of his door. While I don’t want to risk trying to break in again, I could slip it onto her desk when she’s not there, or into one of her drawers. That way, it won’t be missing, it’ll just have been misplaced. There might be some head scratching as to how it got there, but surely that won’t be enough to create any real issues, and even if it did, the finger wouldn’t be pointing at me.
“Earth to Vani? Are you in, Vani?”
I realize I’ve been lost in thought and haven’t heard a thing that’s been said. Angelica is staring at me like I’m a sandwich short of a lunch box, and I flick on a smile.
“Sorry, just thinking about those biker guys.”
She lets out a laugh and shoves me with her shoulder. “Dirty skank.”
I laugh as well, but there’s a little part of me that feels like she’s being serious. I find myself wishing I’d lied about the number of men I’ve slept with. Maybe I should have just said one, because now I feel like a total whore. It’s not even like three is that many…though I guess most people would have put some time between them rather than having them all at the same time …. And in the same room. And them being friends…and brothers.
Faith opens one of the face masks. “Lie back, Vani. I’ll put yours on first.”
I appreciate her stepping in. It’s like she sensed my discomfort and wanted to change the subject.
“Thanks,” I tell her, meaning it. “Which one is that?”
She checks the packet. “Mango and coconut. Sounds like we should eat it instead of putting it on our skin.”
Jarena eyes her friend. “You want to eat everything, Faith. You should be careful, what with your body type and all.”
Faith and I exchange an awkward smile. I have no idea what Jarena is talking about, but it felt like a bit of a sexist or racist barb hidden somehow in there. My hackles rise on behalf of Faith. I can’t stand racists and misogynists, but I don’t say anything because Faith gives a small shake of her head.
Maybe she isn’t as in with these girls as I’d first assumed. Jarena looks at me but doesn’t say anything. I’m surprised I’m not the one she’s making weight comments about, though, because I can feel her gaze on me, judging me, and finding me coming up short.
Angelica steps in and lightens the mood by putting some music on, and the conversation starts to flow.