Chapter Fifteen
U nsurprisingly, we made it one and a half rounds playing truth or dare.
Max started us off by asking me to expand on my very brief foray into butt stuff. I opted to tell the truth, shared my horror story with my ex—a safer choice than telling him anything involving Landon—and effectively put an end to that discussion.
For my first turn, I decided to try getting some answers. “What’s the deal with the secret questions I won last challenge?”
To my surprise, Max chose to tell the truth, too.
“You can use them in the next phase if you get stuck on something. Go to my father and ask him a question. He’s supposed to give you the right answer.”
“Supposed to?”
Max shrugged. “Yep. But between you and me, you’d be better off finding the answer yourself.”
My eyebrows rose. “Noted.”
He shifted in his seat, a frown growing on his face, and I had to press for more information. “You don’t think I should trust him?”
“I don’t think you should trust anyone here, Princess.”
The intensity of his stare surprised me.
“Last year, the Maiden who—” He frowned and fell silent.
“What?” I prodded. “What happened to her?”
Max shook his head. “Not how the game works. Save it for your next question.”
I huffed at his evasion, but I nodded, waiting for him to ask his second question.
Unfortunately, he chose one I didn’t want to answer, and honestly, hated that he even asked.
“Why haven’t you had sex yet?”
The way he phrased it, I couldn’t find a way to respond without giving him the answer I assumed he wanted.
So, I took the chickenshit way out. “Dare.”
His eyebrows rose before he narrowed his eyes on me, suspicion over my evasion evident. Thinking about it for a minute, he settled on a dare. A slow and slightly evil smirk curved his lips as he steepled his fingers beneath his chin.
“Crawl to me.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I dare you to crawl to me.” He pointed to a spot across the room from him. “Start there.” Then, pointed to his lap or maybe the floor at his feet. “End here.”
I blinked at him.
“Crawl. You know, on your hands and knees, making your way over all slow and sexy-like.”
“I’m not doing that.”
“Then, answer the question.”
I clenched my hands into fists. “Fine. Having sex for the first time is a personal decision, and there’s a lot to consider. At least, for me, there was.”
His eyes narrowed, jaw clenching. “Was?”
“Yes, was. It’s not something I’m considering anymore.” When Max gripped the armrest of the chair, I pushed up from my seat. “And that’s it for me and truth or dare.”
“What? Why?”
In the midst of walking away, I whirled back around, shouting at him, “Because I’m disappointed, Max! You’re just like everyone else. Obsessing over my virginity like it’s some big prize. Like it belongs to whoever takes it when it’s mine. That moment, it’s mine. I don’t know why everyone keeps asking about it like it belongs to them, too.”
His eyebrows had risen progressively higher with my every word, lips pressing into a thin line behind his fingers. He nodded when I finished, sitting back in his chair with a frown.
“What?” I demanded. “What is it you want to say?”
“You’re not going to like it.”
“I assumed as much. Just spit it out.”
“I mean, I hear you. And I’m not saying I disagree with you, but…Princess, you walked into that appeal and threw down a gauntlet. You told everyone in that room you’d found a way to end The Quest for good. Take the prize they all want.”
That wasn’t exactly what I’d said, but I saw his point.
“And don’t get me wrong. It was badass. But it also means what should belong to you and only you, it now affects everyone in The Quest.”
“I get that. But maybe instead of focusing on if I let someone go to pound town , everyone could focus on the real problem? That rule—this whole thing, for that matter—it’s gross. It’s antiquated and completely misogynistic.”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s medieval, I get it. But it’s not something any of us can change. So, it’s never been the focus.”
“Why not? Why can’t you change it?”
He thought about it for a minute, his frown deepening before he shook his head. “I can’t tell you that.”
I scoffed, turning away from him. “Of course, you can’t.”
“I can’t yet. We have rules, Princess. And trust me when I say, I don’t follow them because I agree with their bullshit.”
Turning back around, I found he’d stood up to follow me.
“Have I given you the impression that I care about what anyone at Camelot Court thinks?”
“No.”
My begrudging admission forced me to think it through. Max didn’t do things he didn’t want to do, not if he could get out of them. He’d said as much about the party. We had to go because he hadn’t been able to get out of it.
I had no idea what the consequence for not attending a party, or sharing Camelot Court secrets, could be. But he confirmed he couldn’t tell me that, either.
“I still don’t see why it matters, though. Whether I’ve had sex or not, if they aren’t virgins, they lose.”
Max shook his head. “It hasn’t been that way for years. Not until you brought up the by-laws. And trust me, any one of those girls would pull that card if they could. So, the real problem is that you’re an outsider.”
“What? So, this is some classist bullshit where I’m too poor to be good enough? I can play your games but can’t win them? Chosen by a Knight, or your King, for that matter, but I can’t actually have them? What the fuck, Max?”
“It’s bullshit, Princess. But The Quest has been around for generations. We grew up knowing it’d be our turn one day. It was beaten into us that we’d be expected to take it seriously. In some cases, literally beaten into us. Whether we wanted to do it or not. The only person who almost got out of it was Landon.”
My brow furrowed. “But why?”
“Favoritism. Being Kingston’s bestie. I don’t know.”
I shot him a look. “I didn’t mean Landon. Why is it like that for the rest of you?”
“Good ol’ fashioned parental expectations and pressure. The winner of The Quest picks?—”
He cut himself off, cursing under his breath.
“Picks what?”
Pressing his lips together, he shook his head.
“Come on, if that’s how big this is, then you know all the other Maidens already know. Why can’t I?”
“They don’t. I mean it, not even Vivian knows.” Max snorted. “And that bitch makes a point to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong.”
I couldn’t argue with that. She told me the same thing the first day I met her. “But how is that possible?”
“We swear an oath when this all starts. The only Maiden who knows the prize is the one who wins. And, typically, she ends up married to someone high up enough to keep her happy. The Camelot Society makes sure she can be trusted before they tell her. Plus, you all signed the contract. That NDA is airtight.”
I tried to wrap my head around all of it, but I couldn’t stop fixating on the Maidens. “So, all these girls believe I’m a threat to them, even if they don’t know why?”
“Not just the girls, but yes, because they know what happens to them if they don’t win.”
“Oh.” I deflated. “What do you mean, not just the girls ? And…what happens to them?”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
Sympathizing with my attackers—one girl who might be seizing her moment with Landon right now—wasn’t a thing I wanted to do.
But I needed to know.
“There’s always been a price in our world for disappointing our families.” He shrugged, then furrowed his brow at the emotion crossing my face. “But even knowing what Vivian’s father, for example, is capable of doesn’t change that she still chose to attack you.”
“I know that.”
That type of pressure from a parent wasn’t something I ever experienced, but Vivian, Elaine, and Inez did have a choice. Still, was this what it was like for all of them?
For Max, even if he seemed less swayed by it?
For Kingston, with all his secrets?
And I had to wonder if it played into Landon’s decision at the Knights’ Quorum.
I couldn’t think about that right now, though. Because if I did get answers, and they changed how I felt about what he’d done, then whatever happened or didn’t happen between him and Elaine in the next twenty-four hours mattered more than I wanted to admit.
The last thing I said to him was that I wasn’t his anymore.
If that was true, why did the thought of them together, given what we shared before the Knights’ Quorum, make me feel physically ill?
And why was that all I could think about when Max just pointed out the target on my back?
* * *
After taking a break from the games to digest everything, I came back out for dinner. I walked straight over to the bottle of wine we’d left untouched after truth or dare and poured a glass.
Once we’d eaten, Max poured himself a glass and suggested a game that wouldn’t lead to another information overload.
Never have I ever seemed like the safest option.
Unfortunately, it turned out to be the most dangerous.
“Never have I ever dyed my hair red.”
I narrowed my eyes on his stupid, smirking face as I drank.
For the last thirty minutes, Max had been able to make me sip my wine with every turn. Meanwhile, I grasped at straws when it came to things he’d done. I got so desperate I wanted to bring up the closet blow jobs and his reaction to them at the party, but I kept that in my back pocket for now.
He did admit to having a tattoo, which piqued my interest.
I’d seen him almost completely naked, even for just a brief flash on both occasions, but I had no idea where it could be.
He wouldn’t tell me. But he politely confirmed it wasn’t on his dick and told me to stop staring.
My eyes naturally landed there by process of elimination.
So, sue me.
More often than not, it turned out Max hadn’t done what I’d expected. So, while he had to refill my glass as our game went on, he barely had to drink.
But I did have one thing he couldn’t deny.
“Never have I ever blown a girl off after learning her name.”
His lips twitched. “Who says I blew you off?”
“Oh, don’t you dare! You’re not arguing your way out of this one.” I nudged his glass toward him. “Go on, now. Drink up.”
Sipping his wine begrudgingly, he sat back in his chair to assess me and decide his next move. He lifted his glass to his lips. “Never have I ever…wanted someone I shouldn’t.”
Our eyes locked.
Thus far, aside from his request for me to crawl to him, we’d avoided talk of things that might create tension between us. But apparently, Max had decided he was done with that.
He drew a big sip, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed it down. Mine went dry.
“Go on,” he taunted as he set his glass on the coffee table and nudged mine. “Drink up.”
I took a tiny sip, shrugging my shoulder and giving him a taste of his own medicine. “You’re right.”
He gripped the armchair. “Care to expand on that?”
Shifting in his chair, he cleared his throat and crossed an ankle over his knee. Heat flushed my neck at the way he stared at me, and I almost felt bad for fucking with him. Almost.
“I wasn’t supposed to want my Knight, and look where that got me.”
At his low growl of warning, I smothered a smile and examined my nails. “Lesson learned, I guess.”
I shrugged, lifting my gaze and biting back a teasing grin.
But Max’s face held no trace of humor.
His onyx eyes flickered with the light from the fireplace, giving his stare a dangerous gleam. “Bullshit, Princess.”
Straightening my spine, I squared off with him. “I beg your pardon?”
He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs and clasping his hands between them. “You heard me. Bull . Shit .”
“Fine.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re right. I didn’t learn my lesson.”
That smug smile curved his lips.
So, I wiped it clean off.
“I still want him.”
Max clenched his jaw.
Nodding, he dropped his eyes to my wine glass. “Well, at least you’re being honest about one thing.”
Rising from his chair, he swept the wine bottle off the table. As he took it with him out into the rain and stood on the back deck facing the trees, I stared after him.
What the hell was his problem?
We’d been fucking with each other this whole time. Why act butt hurt about it all of a sudden?
And why did he get to play hot and cold but was an ass when I did it?
Once again, I should’ve let it go.
I should’ve let him go.
But I didn’t.