Chapter 18
The guests continued to chatter in hushed tones. Not wanting to look up, Lily looked at her hands. She was letting Julian down with her lack of knowledge, and it was all she could do to keep herself from crying.
“She is American, you know. They are always so informal,” one lady remarked, her tone a little higher than a whisper.
The pit of Lily’s stomach flipped as she closed her eyes for a second.
They are all watching and judging me.
Her palms began to sweat as she realized she had taken a seat beside the duchess, a prized position that would have been reserved for an honored guest. Did they think she had made the faux pas on purpose?
She was just about to turn and run from the dining hall when the duchess suddenly appeared at her side.
“My goodness, Lady Barnard, I must apologize for the confusion. One of the under butlers must have made an error.” She quickly scooped up the name card in front of Lily and closed it in her palm.
“May I show you to your proper place across from your husband? I am certain that you would be more comfortable in his presence.” She smiled kindly at Lily.
Still wanting to cry, Lily forced a brave smile and allowed the duchess to show her to her proper seat across from Julian.
“Ah, yes, here it is, a duplicate of your name. My humblest apologies, Lady Barnard. I shall have a word with the butler when dinner is over. You must forgive us, we English often behave far too formally for my liking.” She shot a warning look at the ladies and lords surrounding them before crumpling the other name card in her fist and returning to her place.
My name was not on that card.
A wave of relief washed over Lily as chairs scraped across the floor with footmen helping everyone into their seats.
The dinner began with chatter as the first course of soup was served in silver tureens. Finally finding the courage to look up, Lily met Julian’s gaze.
He offered her a reassuring smile, his eyes kind and understanding.
Yet her heart skipped a beat when she glanced at Miss Everet at his side.
Why does she look triumphant?
Eleanor raised the glass of wine to her lips and smirked, averting her gaze before turning to the lady beside her.
Confusion filled the pit of her stomach as Lily began to wonder what it meant.
Eleanor had always been kind to her; surely, she would not take joy in the fact that Lily had made a mistake?
Her brow creased into a frown as she looked at the bowl of hot leek soup in front of her.
The sweet and rich aroma did little to distract her as the chatter around the table continued.
The rest of dinner passed quite uneventfully, with Lily making conversation where she could, but mainly keeping to herself. She was praying for a miracle to take her home by the time the duke and duchess stood, announcing that the ladies and men would be splitting.
Good Heavens, not again.
Lily began to panic and quickly came up with a plan. She waited until Julian escorted her out and stopped at the doors to the drawing room. “Would you excuse me for just a moment, my lord? I must powder my nose.” She slipped her arm from his.
A frown creased his brow as Julian searched her face. “Are you certain that you are well, my lady?” he asked quietly.
Nodding, Lily forced a reassuring smile. “I am quite well, just a little tired.” She turned from him just as tears began to well in her eyes again and headed straight for the powder room.
Shutting the door behind her, Lily headed over to one of the tables of pitchers and leaned against the cold wood. “I cannot believe that happened,” she whispered tearfully before pushing herself up.
Everything had happened so quickly that she was still not certain where she had gone wrong. She had been doing everything she had been told, yet it still had not been right.
Frustration filled her chest as she looked around the small room for a distraction.
Even the powder room was quite grand with gold trimmings on the ceiling, light pink walls, wash basins on tables, elegant room dividers for privacy, and fluffy white towels.
Everything that a lady would need to freshen up.
Except, I do not belong here.
She suddenly began to feel trapped as the walls closed in around her. She belonged on a farm in America, not here in England, where the simplest faux pas could ruin a lady forever.
The door to the powder room opened, and Lily looked up to see Arabella shutting the door behind her.
“Lily, how are you doing?” Arabella asked, her voice thick with concern.
Tears began to fall down her cheeks as Lily wiped at them furiously.
“I honestly do not know. I am so fed up with all of these blasted rules!” She finally let her anger escape.
“I am embarrassing my husband, and what’s worse, the duchess felt the need to lie for me.
She will never have us over again, and Julian’s reputation will be ruined. ” She shook her head angrily.
Coming forward, Arabella placed a hand on her shoulder and spoke in a soothing voice.
“You are not ruined, dearest Lily. Most of us make at least one mistake after coming out. Yours is just happening later in life. All will be well, you will see. And I hardly doubt that the viscount is angry with you; on the contrary, he still seemed incapable of keeping his eyes off you. I do not know what kind of spell you have cast on that man, but it is quite effective.”
Lily’s breathing eased a little as she smiled at her friend. “You are one to speak. Mr. Southampton seemed positively fused to your side all evening.”
Color filled Arabella’s cheeks as she reached for one of the towels beside a nearby basin and offered it to Lily.
“That is neither here nor there. I think we should discuss why it is that you were not beside the viscount when we all went in. I turned my back for a second, and you had just disappeared.” Her mouth twisted into a question as she sympathetically tilted her head to the side.
“I honestly do not know. I mentioned to Miss Everet that I needed the powder room, but that I would wait until after dinner. She told me that it was best to go before.” Lily shrugged.
Arabella remained quiet but drew her lower lip between her teeth as Lily continued.
“When I returned, the viscount had already gone in, and none of the gentlemen were left to escort me. I was panicking when another young woman told me to just go in alone. She said that the duchess would not mind, as she usually likes things as informal as possible.” The anger in the pit of her stomach began to make her feel ill again as Lily recalled all the glances and whispers.
A look of concern knit Arabella’s brows together. “Who was the lady who advised you?”
Lily shrugged. “I do not recall her name. I hardly know anyone, and I was in such a rush that I was not paying attention.”
Letting out a heavy breath, Arabella lowered her shoulders. “I am afraid that you have been the subject of a cruel jest.”
A flicker of shock ran through Lily’s veins. “But who would do such a thing?” Her anger flared again as she thought of all the embarrassment that had on Julian’s behalf, and not just hers.
Arabelle shrugged. “I cannot say for sure, but I do not think that you should be as trusting as you are, Lily. I know that you want to make more friends, but not everyone is as kind or well-intended as you and I. Take Miss Everet, for instance.
I know you consider her to be a friend, but a friend would not have advised you to leave the parlor so soon before dinner. I do not know her well enough to make any kind of judgments, but her actions were not kind.” Her voice was serious as she held Lily’s gaze.
Growing still for a moment, Lily felt herself freezing. Had Miss Everet not smirked at her once they had taken their seats? She had always been so kind to Lily, but did that mean she had not been at fault?
Coming forward, Arabella reached for the small container of powder on the stand beside them and helped Lily set her face over the tracks of tears.
“I do not wish to be unkind to someone that I do not know, but let us not trust her again. Whenever there is a social event, stay close to either me, the viscount, or Mr. Southampton. You cannot go wrong with us.”
“I resent the fact that I must be watched like a child, but I do understand what you are saying. I shall be more careful in the future and keep my distance from Miss Everet, although I do not think she would have been that malicious as to steer me incorrectly on purpose. We do not know her well enough to make such a judgment.”
Arabella made the final touches to Lily’s face and stepped back before replacing the powder. “As you say, we do not know her well enough, but it is better to remain on our guard.”
They left the powder room and headed for the drawing room, where the ladies were to gather.
Lily dreaded the looks and whispers that would be directed at her, yet there was nothing that could be done. She would have to face them all and try to redeem herself.
They had just reached the entrance hall again when Julian suddenly appeared from around a corner and stopped them.
“My apologies, Miss Tremaine, but I shall have to whisk my wife away.” He turned to Lily with a faint smile of reassurance on his lips. “I have just received a note from my mother requesting that we return home at once.”
“Has something happened?” Lily asked, her heart suddenly skipping.
Julian’s smile softened as he looked at her. “I am not certain, but I do think it best that we leave at once. I have already made our apologies to our hosts, and they sent their regards and thanked us for coming.”
Arabella looked from one to the other before fixing Julian with a strange smile.
“I do hope your mother and sister are well, my lord. I shall return to the others before someone comes looking for me. Good evening.” She reached up and touched Lily’s elbow affectionately before heading toward the drawing room.
“Shall we go then?” Julian asked, offering her his arm.
Hesitating only for a second, Lily accepted it and allowed herself to be guided through the front doors and to the waiting carriage.
A wave of relief mingled with concern as she made herself comfortable opposite Julian. The carriage jolted into motion as the sound of horses’ hooves beating against pebbles filled the air.
“I hope your mother is well?” She asked Julian, who did not seem phased by the news at all.
Shrugging, his lips curved into a boyish smile that tugged at her heart. “I have a confession, and I am sorry that I lied to you, but there was no note.”
“There was not?” She tilted her head to the side in confusion.
Julian shook his head as his smile broadened. “I thought you might appreciate an early escape, so I told the duke and duchess that my mother was not well. I hope you do not mind?” His eyes were filled with sincerity.
“Mind? That is possibly the kindest gesture that anyone has ever shown me.”
Her eyes filled with tears again as she attempted to blink them back.
In the short time that she been courted by Oliver, he had never, and would have never, ended a dinner party early simply for her benefit.
Julian was different. He cared about her and how she felt, no matter the situation and what others may have thought.
Leaning forward, Julian reached for her hand and covered it with his own. “Please do not cry. What happened was an accident. It was not your fault.” His voice was sincere and filled with understanding.
Was it not?
Her conversation with Arabella in the powder room came to mind, but she quickly pushed it aside. Miss Everet was an old family friend, and she did not want to be the cause of any ill feeling in case she was wrong.
“Thank you for understanding, and I am sorry that I made such a scene. I am still growing accustomed to all of the rules in London society.” A single tear fell down her cheek despite her best efforts.
Before she could wipe it away, Julian reached up and placed his thumb on her cheek, holding the side of her face as he wiped it for her.
“There is no need to apologize, and I am very well aware of the fact that you are always trying your best. I would like to see at least one of the ladies of the ton move to America and make the transition. They may get the shock of their lives when they realize just how difficult things can be.”
A feeling of warmth spread across her chest as she stared at the man she had married.
He is so kind.
She leaned into his hand, pressing her cheek against his palm. “Thank you, Julian, for being so understanding. I am lucky to have found someone who makes my transition so much easier.” She meant every word as her heart suddenly began to beat a little faster.
Softening his smile again, Julian removed his hand and sat back.
“I never want you to be anything other than exactly who you are, Lily. Please do not think that I ever expect anything more. You are perfect just the way you are, accent and all.” The corner of his mouth lifted into a teasing smile, and Lily found herself laughing.
“Thank you, my lord, it is truly a wonder to me that you accept it.”