Chapter 22
The cool evening air caressed her skin as Lily strolled beside Eleanor in the gardens of the cottage. It was the following day, and she had done all that she could to try and stay close to Julian, his mother, and even Juliette, but Eleanor had finally convinced her to walk with her in the gardens.
The air was cool and crisp, bringing with it the hope that things could only get better, but Lily had the sinking feeling that Eleanor had insisted on a walk for a reason.
The day had been tedious enough with Eleanor interfering at every turn, yet the final straw had come for Lily when Julian had wanted to take her back to the mill to oversee the repairs, but Eleanor had insisted that she walk with her instead.
Lily was beginning to grow weary of the way Eleanor always stood so close to Juian and touched his arm.
She seemed to only want to discuss memories of them that Lily was unable to take part in.
She had even gone as far as almost swooning after their ride and batted her lashes at him.
Lily had thought she was imagining things at first, but the woman’s behavior now struck her as more than just a little odd.
“These gardens are absolutely lovely, are they not?” Eleanor asked with a contented sigh, but Lily felt anything but.
“Yes, Julian and I plan on making the gardens at Redding Hall look just as lovely as these.” She ran the tips of her fingers over a few roses in passing.
The cottage gardens were filled with various kinds of flowers and shrubs, filling the air with a sweet scent that almost lifted her spirits.
“Ah, yes, of course Julian would be getting involved in such matters. He has come a long way since…” Her voice trailed off as she looked slightly sheepish.
“Since what?” Lily asked, regretted the question almost as soon as she had asked it. She pulled her light green shawl a little tighter around her shoulders and kept her gaze fixed ahead.
Eleanor smiled to herself. “Do you truly not know what happened between Julian and me in the past?” Her eyes searched Lily’s face as if she were trying very hard to read her every expression.
A pang of distrust coiled in the pit of Lily’s stomach, yet she simply shook her head. Why would Eleanor be bringing these things to her attention when everything was just starting to go well between her and Julian? It almost felt as if it were a deliberate attempt to rock her world.
But is that not what Oliver is attempting to do?
“Forgive me for referring to him with such informality, but the two of us were once almost betrothed. He was in love with me, but I had to turn him down because of his reputation as a rake. Of course, you know all of this.”
The distrust in Lily’s chest suddenly turned to confusion.
“Julian proposed to you?” She swallowed hard, not knowing what to believe. Had Julian not mentioned to her the other day that he had only ever been in love with one woman? Her name had been Anne Sullivan, but here Eleanor was saying something else entirely.
Eleanor’s mouth formed a perfect circle as she lifted a hand to her cheek.
“Oh, dear me, I do not think that I was supposed to say anything at all. Please forgive me for being so careless, but Julian was an entirely different person before you met him. The war changed him a lot, but it was his rakish ways that finally made me break things off with him.”
Rakish ways…
The sentence did not seem to fit Julian at all, nor did the sentiment that he had been in love with Eleanor.
Would he not have told her if he had been?
Her head suddenly began to ache as she reminded herself that she had only just begun to get to know him.
But if what Eleanor was saying was true, it would mean that he had been in love with two women, not one, unless he had been lying.
Two women and neither of them is me.
The same uncertain feeling of jealousy that she had felt at the picnic came flitting back to her. Julian was certainly capable of falling in love, yet he did not harbor those feelings toward her. At least, not that she knew of.
A still realization dawned on her as she continued to stroll in silence. Was this not what she had wanted? A marriage without love or any emotional attachments at all?
Yet, now that she had finally gotten that wish, she found herself longing for more. She quickly shook her head and took a deep breath to compose herself. She was just tired from the long day and needed a rest.
Turning toward Lily, Eleanor suddenly frowned. “You must not let it bother you, Lily. Those matters are firmly in the past. Julian would not have married you if there had not been a very good reason. He is a sensible man after all. The affections between us are simply remnants of an intimate past.”
Lily’s head began to spin once again as she struggled to make sense of anything that Eleanor said. She said that Julian had been in love with her, but Julian said that there had been Anne. She said that Julain had been a rake, but nothing in his behavior would make Lily believe that.
Eleanor sighed and looped her arm through Lily’s.
“You poor thing, I can see that this information has come as quite a shock to you. I shall escort you back to the house, where we may have some tea. Do not think about anything I have said. I was only reminiscing. What matters now is that you and Julian are married.”
She turned them both around and began to walk back in the direction of the house.
What should I believe?
Lily suddenly felt sick to the pit of her stomach. Had Arabella not mentioned to her that she should not be alone with Eleanor? Was that because she did not trust her, or because she knew of the past between her and Julian? Lily quickly shook her head again to rid herself of the confusing thoughts.
Arabella was her friend. She would not have done anything malicious to try to hurt Lily. They were more than just friends; Lily had even begun to consider her as a best friend, which was far more than she could say for Eleanor.
They reached the house, and Lily was relieved to find that Arabella and Benedict had already arrived, along with two of Juliette’s closest friends. The atmosphere inside was far more pleasant than it had been in the gardens with Eleanor.
Arabella instantly jumped up and ran to Lily, throwing her arms around her as she pulled her away from Miss Everet.
“I was hoping that you would be back soon. Did you enjoy your walk?” She shot Eleanor a curious glance of mistrust before pulling Lily down beside her on the sofa.
“Tell me everything that you discussed,” she said more quietly when Eleanor left to greet the others.
Lily was about to open her mouth and answer when Julian’s mother interrupted them.
“I hate to interrupt your reunions, ladies, but there is a letter for you, Lily. It arrived while you were out. I placed it over there on the piano.” She pointed across the room before returning to the cushion she had begun to embroider since their arrival.
Excusing herself, Lily stood and made her way across the room, grateful for any kind of distraction that would allow her some peace. The atmosphere in the house had completely changed since Eleanor's arrival, leaving them all a little tense and less at ease.
Reaching for the letter, Lily unfolded the pages, expecting a letter from her mother asking how she was faring.
Her heart dropped when she noticed the second letter hidden inside with familiar writing.
She quickly looked up to see if anyone had noticed before looking back down and starting with her mother’s letter.
Dearest Lily,
I hope this letter finds you well. Your aunt and I thought to keep this information from you, as you are still settling into your marriage. But I am afraid that the matter can no longer be left as it is. As Mr. King surely stated in his previous letter, he has arrived in London.
We had hoped he would not find us, but he showed up at our door one day and demanded to see you. We told him that it was too late and that we do not know where you are currently residing, but he is most insistent upon seeing you.
I do not know if you have made your husband aware of the matter yet, but it is only a matter of time until Mr. King tracks you down. Please be careful.
Your loving mother.
Lily’s hands began to tremble as she unfolded the second note and read the words with bated breath.
My dearest Lily,
My patience is beginning to grow thin. I hope you do not think that I was jesting in my previous letter. I wish to see you at once so that we may put these matters to rest. If you do not make yourself known to me soon, I shall respond in a way that will make you take notice of me.
I have in my possession documents that prove your willingness to exchange information with Spain and France. As I am certain you are aware, such actions are more than just frowned upon when it comes to the Crown. Please do not make me use this evidence.
Oliver King.
The world around Lily began to spin as she suddenly felt too ill. What did he mean by evidence that she had been a spy? Had he forged documents implicating her, or was there something else entirely that she had not been aware of?
Looking up, her breath suddenly caught in her throat as she noticed the look of intensity on Eleanor’s face. She was watching Lily like a hawk, unblinking as she stood to the side.
Her pulse began to race as she moved back, quickly folding the letters and hiding them away in the folds of her dress.
“Have you received bad news?” Julian’s mother suddenly asked as she came rushing forward and placed the back of her hand on Lily’s forehead.
Shaking her head, Lily took a deep breath. “N… no, not at all. I am simply tired from the day’s events. I think I had better slip away and splash some cool water on my face.” She made her excuses and slipped away, all the while being aware of Eleanor’s gaze that was still firmly fixed on her.
She made her way into the hallway and hurried up the stairs, entering her chambers with haste before shutting the door firmly behind her.
What am I to do?
Panic suddenly set in as her breath came in sharp bursts. If Oliver was truly after her, then there was not much she would be able to do to stop him. Her only hope was to find time to tell Julian the truth, and she hoped and prayed that he would not resent her for it.