Queer Sort
Watt could not think straight.
He sat beside Cornelius and Severino in Joaquim’s tent, and it took everything in his power to focus on the site leader’s report.
The mention of a tumuli in the southern quadrant piqued Cornelius’ interest, and when he spoke Watt had to redouble his efforts.
Focus on the words, not his voice. Maggie had been confused by his distress all morning, but remained by his side despite all the new people.
“You’ve found a burial mound?” Cornelius asked. “Is this the first?”
“We believe so, but there is still much work to be done before we can be sure,” Joaquim said, conducting their report in English. His accent was thick, but he spoke in a slow and thoughtful way.
“There are no ruins there.” Severino leaned forward in his seat. “What makes you think it is for burial use?”
Joaquim offered Severino an apologetic smile. “We found the cemetery, in this case an urn field, nearby. We found it a few days after you left.”
Severino was undeterred. He'd shaved and washed up last night as well, and the morning light had him practically glowing. “This is wonderful news! I am sorry to have missed it, but this is good, Joaquim."
Joaquim relaxed. He wasn't as polished as Severino this morning, but Watt could appreciate that he was fine to look at, dusty clothes and all.
“It is good, and more work. We are grateful for your help, both of you, even if it is only for a short time. Severino tells me you are dedicated to your mission, so I will not pry you from it. But know that you are always welcome here.”
Cornelius nodded. “Thank you, we appreciate that.” He glanced sideways at Watt, his smile tight. “Just point us in the right direction and we’ll get to work.”
“Yes, thank you,” Watt said, a hollow addendum.
He'd found it impossible to forget that this was only temporary, save for last night.
Sheer exhaustion and relief had softened his mind.
It had felt good to sit with other people and talk, to eat and be unhurried.
To lay down in a relatively soft place in the middle of nowhere and wake under the same canvas roof as the man he'd come to call a friend, and prepare for a day of work in the dirt.
Watt glanced at Cornelius, trying to make the word fit around him.
But it wasn't enough. Regardless, it was a cycle Watt could've repeated for a long time.
For the first time, he briefly entertained the idea of taking Joaquim and Severino up on their offer, and staying for longer than intended.
Joaquim chuckled. “I like your enthusiasm. Breakfast first, then we work.”
Later that evening, they made their way back to their shared tent with Maggie in tow.
Cornelius frowned at the beaten down path ahead of them, his mask had dropped the moment they'd gotten away from the others.
He relied heavily on his cane, and Watt hoped that he would take it easy tomorrow.
It had been a long day full of information and dirt, and had the opportunity to go on for longer.
The others were meeting up around the fire pit, and had invited them.
He wasn't sure if he could do it. It didn't sound like Severino and Joaquim would be there, and he didn't mind the crew thus far.
But Andrea had been … quietly obnoxious today.
Lurking, smirking. Watt didn't know what had happened between him and Cornelius, but it was more of a problem than he'd realized it would be.
Watt could only handle a moment of silence between him and Cornelius. He said, “What do you think?”
Cornelius cut a look at him, his expression unreadable in the shadows of dusk. After a moment he asked, “… about?”
Watt floundered. “The camp. Joaquim. All of it.”
Cornelius turned his attention back to their path. He was quiet for a few moments, then, “It’s only another stop in the journey.”
Watt hadn’t expected that. “Right …” he trailed off, unsure what to say. Cornelius was especially quiet, and Watt knew the weird air that existed between them since last night was all his fault. He just didn’t know what to say, or how to fix it.
When they got back to their tent, Maggie immediately jumped onto Watt's cot and laid down with a huff. Cornelius went over to his own cot and stared down at it. Watt watched him, and he startled when Cornelius’ head suddenly jerked up. “I’m going to the fire,” he said, and began to storm past Watt.
Watt took a hold of his upper arm. “Can I come with you?”
Cornelius stopped, staring up at Watt in surprise. Lips pressed thin, he searched Watt’s eyes. Watt stared back, hoping Cornelius found what he wanted. He’d give the man anything if it made everything go back to normal between them.
“Of course,” Cornelius whispered, then shrugged Watt off. Watt’s hand fell to his side, and he flexed his fingers. Neither man moved for the flap leading to the outside world. Hesitantly, Cornelius said, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Yesterday. I—I was just—”
“Doing the exact same thing I had done. There’s nothing to apologize for. In fact, I’m the one that needs to apologize. I was just surprised. I didn’t—” Watt cleared his throat, and when he spoke again it was low and a bit strained. “I didn’t know you trusted me like that.”
Cornelius’ chest rose and fell with great effort. His hand twitched in an aborted movement towards Watt’s face and ended up settling on his shoulder. He whispered, “Me either.”
Watt’s eyes burned. He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t speak. Cornelius’ smile was unsure, and perhaps a little pitying, but it undid Watt all the same. Like a finishing blow, Cornelius stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Watt.
Watt was being hugged. Held. It was as overwhelming as it had been back in that abandoned village, when he'd revealed his greatest secrets. Cornelius had held Watt beneath the moon and stars, comforting him. It thickened the searing emotion building in Watt’s throat, and so he encircled Cornelius in his arms, holding him tight in an effort to make it all go away.
For a moment, it worked. There was nothing but them, and everything unspoken between them but palpable all the same.
Until Andrea Carmine lazily called from outside, “Watt, Cornelius! Are you going to join us?”
Both men startled, jumping away from each other like they’d been caught necking. Maggie grumbled at the same time Cornelius ran a hand over his hair and hissed, “That damn man.”
“I can hear you!” Andrea teased from right outside their tent, his voice too close for comfort. “Don’t keep us waiting.”
His footsteps trailed away from their tent, and Watt sighed. “Still want to go?”
Cornelius straightened to his full height and snatched a cigarette from his case. It was bent and badly damaged, but lit up with a fierce and angry glow. “Of course, can’t let him win.”
“Win?” Watt shook his head, fondness driving the movement. “I’m still waiting for you to tell me how to play the game.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to,” Cornelius said, leading the way out of the tent. Maggie followed them out, panting heavily. The area beheld a different quality at night, thick with possibility. Too many possibilities, all watching from the darkness. Waiting to pounce.
Watt kept close to Cornelius, separated only by Maggie trotting between them.
As they approached the bonfire and its curious guests, Watt imagined how the three of them looked.
Cornelius’ cigarette dangled from his lips, his hands occupied by his cane and a trouser pocket.
He had such a confident air about him, it seemed impossible that a man like this could break.
Watt knew how he felt, but he didn’t know if that translated into the way he looked.
Tired, sore, nerves flayed open and heart mildly irritated.
He pulled his shoulders back and rolled his neck, hoping it would be enough to make him look as at ease as Cornelius did.
Maggie, meanwhile, seemed to be pleased and interested in equal measure.
Her ears were perked, and her tongue peeked in and out of the side of her mouth.
It'd be hard like this to tell she was exhausted as well.
“Ah, there you are!” Anderson called, pushing out of his folding chair. He clapped Cornelius on the shoulder, and offered Watt a big smile.
“I must confess, I nearly went right to sleep. It’s been an adventure,” Cornelius said, laughing quietly.
“We’d love to hear it, if you feel up to it that is,” Rowland said from his seat beside Anderson’s abandoned chair. “I’m not as young as I used to be, but one’s never too old to hear stories beside the fire, and ours have gotten rather stale as of late.”
“I can imagine. You’ve been here for how long, a year?
” Cornelius took up one of the empty chairs nearby Anderson and Rowland, and so Watt followed suit.
Anderson sat too, reaching down to pet Maggie when she sniffed his leg.
Watt didn’t know these fellas well, but he preferred their immediate company to the others.
“Give or take,” Rowland said. He nodded to Andrea and Francesca, who sat across the fire in the same folding chairs as everyone else did. “Although I believe those two, and Thomas here, were the first Americans to have boots on the ground. I didn’t come until a few months later.”
“And if my ears don’t deceive me, you could’ve been here at the beginning too, isn’t that right, Watt?” Andrea asked.
Watt tilted his head, lifting a shoulder. “The timing was off, but I’m glad to be here now.”
“And how long do you two plan on staying?” Francesca asked, her eyes intent on Watt. Terezinna and Nair who sat beside her seemed equally interested in his answer. Nair was observant, tight brown curls hung over big dark eyes that took in everything.
Watt cleared his throat. “About a month, we’re simply passing through.”
“Really? Where else could you go beyond here?” Nair asked, glancing around the fire. “We are it for a while, yes?”