Chapter 3 #2
She let out such a delighted sigh that he felt himself in awe. She looked as if he’d opened the gates to heaven when he’d mentioned the Folio and the rolls that had been collected to make it up.
“Why do you like it so much?” he asked.
She considered him. “The documentation of the real events of one of the greatest people who ever lived, and then subsequent playwrights?” she asked.
He nodded. Most people didn’t really care. They might pretend to, but they were too obsessed with their own dramas to pay much attention to the past.
She smiled. A smile that was so beautiful it lit the room.
“It’s fascinating to me. All the writers and the works about them are all fascinating to me.
You see those playwrights do something for us that nothing else can do.
Not even books. Playwrights put something down, and then other people take those words and bring them to life, and we get to watch.
It is the most incredible thing,” she breathed.
“It’s the true alchemy, not turning dross to gold. ”
“Oh, bloody hell,” he whispered. “You’re lost, Miss Mitchell,” he replied, full of wonder for her, “to the theater. It is your true love. I think your husband shall be the stage.”
“Not at all,” she countered quickly. “It is not allowed.”
“Not allowed? Two terrible words,” he declared. “Don’t you think that it should be allowed?”
“Should is a pointless word,” she said. “It has little meaning, and one should not entertain it.”
“You just used it,” he pointed out.
“So I did,” she said ruefully. “But there’s reality, and then there’s fiction. I generally prefer fiction to real life,” she said, “but I do live in the real world, so I must behave accordingly.”
“Must you?” he asked, longing to go forward, to sweep her into dreams and away from the cold hard reality of the world. “I find that it is far better to flout the rules of society.”
She rolled her eyes. “That is because you’re a man, and you are a Briarwood. I am merely happy to be here reading books, taking notes, and that is enough.”
Was it? he wondered.
She had the fire of a muse. He could see it in her eyes. Would she have to live a little life like so many ladies did, as someone’s wife and mother? No, to be a wife and mother were a great thing, just like being a socialite. He didn’t want to take away from it.
But there was something in her that seemed to burn brightly, and whenever she talked about the stage or the plays or…
“Would you mind if we kept talking about this?” he asked.
“What?” she queried.
“About the stage, the theater, and those kinds of things?” He hesitated, shocked by the emotions her passion evoked in him. It was a rare thing to witness such devotion, and devil take it, he wished to witness more of it. “You see, you’re making me feel more in this conversation than I have in…”
She frowned. “What?”
“In some time,” he finished lamely, not wishing to truly consider how long he’d just been muddling along, waiting for life to truly happen.
“I’ve argued quite recently for other people to seize their lives and not get caught up in terrible things, in fear and all that, and I’m not afraid.
I have a wonderful life. I’ve got nothing to be afraid of. But I have been…”
“Yes?” she prompted, seeming genuinely curious.
He bit his lip, half certain he shouldn’t say it, but then he blurted, “Without purpose. And I’m trying to discover it, if I must tell you the truth.”
“Oh,” she exclaimed. “A young, wealthy man without purpose. How very interesting.”
“Are you making fun of me?” he asked, shocked but also rather amused.
“No,” she rushed. “But I am pointing out the fact that you have a great deal of privilege and could literally do anything, but you’re moping about because you have no purpose.
No doubt your feelings are only because of the rain.
As soon as the sun is out and the earth is dry, you can ride your horse again, and you will not have such dreary thoughts. ”
She might be right. But he wasn’t certain.
“Just so you know, I just did a great deal of wrestling to ensure I wouldn’t mope,” he pointed out. “But your conversation is better than anything I’ve experienced in a long time, and that’s what I’m trying to say. Can we have more of it?”
“I don’t think we should,” she said honestly, her eyes widening.
“Why?” he asked.
She arched a bow. “Because of the way you winked at me.”
“The way I…” He laughed. “Blazes. Have I condemned myself with a single wink?”
“You might have,” she teased, her lips parted in a wary smile.
“Why? Was it so very terrible?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Why?” he asked.
She licked her lips, her hand tightening on the back of the chair as if she didn’t dare say.
“Be honest,” he said. “You said you’d never lie.”
She sucked in a breath and rushed, “Because of the way it made me feel.”
“And how did it make you feel?”
Her eyes widened and then darkened with a shadow of longing. “There aren’t words, actually.”
He drew in a sharp breath, heat spiraling through him at her mirrored desire.
“A gentleman has never made me feel like that, and now I don’t think it’s a good idea that we spend time together unless…” She nibbled her lower lip. And then she said, “Why not? I don’t need to get married this year. I can have a bit of fun, but we must be friends,” she said, “and nothing more.”
“Friends?” he echoed, wanting to curse. But then he realized how foolish that was.
Of course they should be friends. For it was in true friendship that great intimacy occurred.
And he wanted to be intimate with her. To be close to her.
To understand her. “Friends who enjoy a good wink,” he said playfully.
She grinned at him. “Yes, friends who enjoy a good wink. I like that.”
He crossed to her, and he held his hand out. “A deal then.”
She eyed it for a long moment, and then she slipped her hand into his.
He had no intention of kissing her, though his gaze went to her lips, and it was so tempting to pull her into his arms. But he knew if he did, their friendship would be done. No, that’s not what he wanted, a quick kiss and end to all that he might learn from her, experience with her.
He wanted to look deep into her soul and see what she actually desired in this world and this life. And he did not know why, but he knew this. He wanted to help her obtain it. No matter how unrealistic. No matter how impossible she might think it was.
He knew impossible wishes of the heart could come true. His parents had taught him that. And somehow, he would teach it to Miss Mitchell too.