Chapter 40 #2
Cielle was the one laughing now. She was trying to hold it back, one hand on her chest as she giggled. “No, it did. Apparently when she made the sacrifice, she asked for the thing Cenric wanted most in the world , assuming it would be the ability to walk. Didn’t know she had to be specific.”
Miles’ brows furrowed. “And what could he have possibly wanted more than the ability to walk?”
Cielle could hardly contain her laughter, and it took a few tries before the words came out. “Something that didn’t even come true until last night. He wanted to see a driva.”
If Miles’ laugh before felt good, this one felt great. He threw his head back, trying to catch his breath as Cielle descended into a fit of laughter along with him.
“Oh, my fucking Saints,” he sighed, trying to catch his breath. “And he got his wish here in Araqina, huh? How pissed was Nieve?”
“Imagine Nieve as angry as you can. Now multiply that by a thousand, then by a thousand again for good measure.”
Miles wiped at his eyes. “She didn’t want to try again?”
“Her parents wouldn’t let her. And Cenric said he’d grown to like his chair because he could use it to roll over Nieve’s toes.”
I sat crouched in the shrub, holding back my own laughter at this story about strangers. The way Miles and Cielle talked, the way they interacted… Fuck, it felt good to see .
As their laughter finally quieted, the energy between them changed. Things suddenly felt stiff — almost as stiff as my neck from hiding in this fucking shrub.
Cielle was the one to break the fragile silence. “It seems you’ve found your family.”
Miles’ smile was weak as he nodded. “I found my brother, yeah. The King of Widoras. Imagine that.” He huffed a laugh, much different than the one he’d just shared with Cielle. “We’ve been catching up, making up for lost time.”
“That’s good.” Cielle nodded, the air suddenly turning awkward again. “Queen Petra seems nice.”
Was that…jealousy in her voice? Tension in her shoulders that hadn’t been there a second ago?
“She is. A little scary, too. Who would’ve thought the Daughter of Katia and my brother would fall in love?”
Her shoulders relaxed, and holy shit, she had been jealous. I fought a smile. She still had feelings for Miles. But I hadn’t needed that little show of jealousy to tell. “Small world.”
“And you know what’s funny? When I first met her, I thought I saw some traits of yours in her. Sure, she’s prickly and scrappy and rough around the edges–”
Watch it, Miles , I thought. I had no problem showing him prickly, scrappy, or rough around the edges.
“But there was a softness to her,” he continued.
“A kindness, and I think… I think that was her connection to you. Of course, you’d been raised by different parents.
But that softness and kindness that was passed down to you by blood, by your biological parents.
They must’ve passed some on to Petra while they were raising her. ”
She blinked at him before her eyes were suddenly on the ground, her toes digging into the gravel beneath her shoes. Cielle shifted, as if there were words she wanted to say but decided against them.
“Listen, Cielle, I’m sorry– ”
“No,” Cielle cut in. “We’re not going to do that. I don’t want your apology.”
“Whether I say it or not, it’s true. I should’ve…
” Miles trailed off, blinking hard. He went silent, and I was two seconds from busting out from the bushes, grabbing Miles by the shoulders, and screaming at him to just say what he wanted to say, that he wished he’d gone with her. This was his chance.
“We both would’ve ended up right here in Araqina anyway,” Cielle answered before he could continue, smoothing her hands over her skirts.
“Even if you’d chosen to go back with me to Coldwater, right?
The Daughter of Katia would’ve come here to Araqina and summoned the kingdoms for a ball.
We would’ve ended up here.” Once again, I couldn’t read the look on her face, and I wasn’t sure if Miles could either.
“Right,” he answered quickly. He shot to his feet suddenly, taking a step back that was noticeably unsteady. His eyes flashed to where I was crouched in the shrub. Shit , he looked nervous. Something was wrong. “I better go,” he stammered. “I, um, need to…”
She raised a brow, slowly standing and tucking her book beneath one arm. “Go read up on your trees?”
“Yeah. That.”
“I should be going as well,” she said, though it was clear it was an excuse.
Miles shifted on his feet. “Let me walk you to your quarters.”
“It’s okay,” she said, nodding toward the corridor. “I have guards waiting for me.”
Miles nodded, staring down at her. The look that passed between them was so intense, I could almost see the words they’d left unspoken. I felt like an intruder on this moment, but I kept my eyes on them, in case Malosym’s power was to rear its ugly head.
He took a cautious step toward Cielle, and when she didn’t object, he took another.
“Can you promise me one thing?” he asked, his voice so quiet, I almost didn’t hear it.
She stared up at him through dark lashes, her eyes gleaming in the last light of day.
“Whenever it happens, I don’t want you anywhere near that battlefield. ”
Her lips parted, as if she hadn’t been expecting his request. Her head shook almost imperceptibly. “I don’t want to promise you that, Miles.”
His dark eyes closed, a grimace passing over his features.
He knew he had no right to ask that of her, and he wouldn’t push it further.
When his eyes opened again, he slowly lifted one hand, a thumb hooking beneath her chin.
I wasn’t breathing as I watched. “Just…promise me you’ll be careful, then. Please.”
Her brows tilted up. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it almost looked like she leaned into his touch the slightest bit. Finally, she nodded. Miles’ step backward was stiff as his hand fell to his side.
“Maybe you can meet me out here again tomorrow evening,” she said, her lashes lowered.
“Maybe,” Miles rasped. “Goodbye, Cielle.” And he watched as she made her way through the courtyard, back toward the castle. Saints, the pain on his face… I felt it in my own chest.
Cielle was almost to the corridor when Miles called out after her, “The first question I wanted to ask was why you didn’t marry Prince Rayner?” She stopped, turning back to look at Miles. “You could’ve played in the Royal Orchestra of Zidderune.”
With eyes so full of longing I could see them from where I hid, her mouth turned up in a soft smile.
“You know the answer to that, Miles.” She turned back again, and just before she took the first step inside, she added one more thing.
“And you can tell your brother he doesn’t need to hide in the bushes next time. Nice to see you again, King Belin. ”
My eyes closed, my face scrunching in embarrassment. “Likewise, Princess Cielle,” I sighed from where I was still folded between the branches.
Miles stayed frozen in place as I crawled out of the dirt, dusted myself off, and stretched out the crick in my neck. “Thank you,” he said quietly, his eyes still glued to the place she’d disappeared. He stared for a long moment before he finally spoke again. “I’m ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“It’s time, Cal. I can’t do this anymore.”
My heart stumbled in my chest as I stared at his profile. “Now?”
“Yeah.”
No. This wasn’t happening. Not now. He still had time, surely. “No, Miles, just–”
“It wasn’t just me and Cielle sitting on that bench, Cal.
It was me, Cielle, and this evil inside me.
It was me, Cielle, and Malosym, and I refuse to let that son of a bitch anywhere near her.
” He swallowed hard as his jaw flexed. “I can’t stay, Cal.
If I hurt her, if I ever…” He turned to me, his eyes flooded with tears. “I’m losing myself.”
My lungs were devoid of air as he spoke, a cold feeling creeping in. “But…the Occulti. They’re in Heaven.”
“I’m not going to Heaven, Cal.”
“Of course you are.”
He didn’t respond, and his silence made me want to grab him by the collar and shake him. Land a punch square in his jaw. Scream in his face. Tell him he was a fucking idiot.
“Please,” he whispered, desperation cracking his voice.
What was he supposed to do? Stay and be some sort of extension of Malosym’s power with no idea whether he was leading the enemy right to our doorstep? What choice did he have?
What choice did I have ?
“Okay,” I said with a nod, my hand landing on his shoulder and my heart landing in my stomach. “Okay, I understand.”
“I have one favor to ask.” His jaw worked back and forth. “I want to fly one more time.”
A sad smile pulled at my mouth as I stared back at my brother. “Let’s get the drivas ready.”