Chapter 44
Cal
The sun rose on a new world, one far worse than the one it had set on yesterday. When I pushed up from the library table I’d hunched over a few hours ago, my neck was stiff and my heart was stone. But my head was clear, and a plan had quickly taken shape.
The first item on my list was one of the hardest conversations I’d ever had in my life.
Tears, I could’ve handled. Hysterics. Rage.
All of that would’ve been better than the pure, motionless silence Cielle responded with when I told her Miles was gone.
The corridor was quiet as I stood in her doorway and told her what Miles had asked me to tell her — that he loved her.
I didn’t tell her about the darkness that had festered in him, or the fact that he knew their conversation in the courtyard would be their last. He fell from Gehenna, and that was all she needed to know .
And when she thanked me for telling her and retreated to her suite, I stood staring at her door, doing everything I could not to crumble to the floor when her wail finally sounded from within. A sound of agony I knew would haunt me until my last day.
Now, I stalked down the corridor, intent on checking the next item off my list. Every part of me wanted to see Petra, to see her soften under my gaze and melt into my arms. But every part of me knew that wasn’t what she needed right now.
I hoped she would forgive me eventually, for everything I’d done.
And everything I was about to do.
Slowly, quietly, I cracked open the door to our suite.
Her suite, now, I supposed. Positive she wasn’t in the sitting room, I slipped inside, stopping to listen for any sign of her.
Muffled crying sounded from behind the door to our — no, her — bedroom, and I almost lost my resolve right then and there.
I could either open the door now and pray she’d let me take her into my arms, or I could do this one stupid thing that would very likely fail.
But if it worked… Saints, if it worked, it would change everything.
My eyes fell on the blade that rested against the dining table — the blade that lacked a hilt but had something far, far greater.
The empty sheath I’d swiped from the armory was the perfect size.
I had no idea if I could even use the blade imbued with Petra’s power, no idea if it mattered who wielded it.
But I didn’t have time to think through the implications of this decision.
I exited the suite, clicking the door shut behind me as quietly as I could.
One more item checked off my list.
The next task was an easy one. I walked one door down and rapped my knuckles against the wood, my knees flexing as I waited.
“Cal?” Nell asked as she swung her door open, her face puffy and eyes heavy with sleep.
“Can I come in for a moment, please? ”
“Uh, sure.” Nell rubbed a hand over her face as she opened the door wider.
My eyes scanned the room, falling on… “Nieve?” I asked, finding Cielle’s cousin sitting in an armchair, a book propped on her lap.
She raised a single brow at me, obviously inconvenienced by my intrusion, but I shook my head, because whatever was going on here wasn’t fucking important right now.
“Nell, I need you to do something for me.”
“Okay.” I saw her eyes go from sleepy to concerned when she saw whatever look was on my face.
“Something happened. Miles… He’s dead.”
Her hand flew over her mouth. “What?”
Nieve shot to her feet, her book thumping on the ground. “Miles is dead?”
“He fell from Gehenna, I–” Emotion clogged my throat. Dammit, I thought I had a handle on it.
Nieve was in front of me then, her eyes wide. “Does Cielle know?” she breathed.
“I told her a few minutes ago. She–”
“I have to go.” She gave Nell’s elbow a quick squeeze before she slipped out the door.
“What do you need?” Nell asked as soon as the door swung shut.
“I need you to tell Petra I had to leave and I’m sorry.”
Her brows furrowed, her dark eyes beginning to fill. “That’s it? W-Where are you going?”
My heart thundered in my ears, but it was pumping pure certainty through my veins. “I’m going to stop this war before it starts.”
◆ ◆ ◆
I’d almost made it out one of the castle’s side entrances when a hand closed around my arm and yanked me to the side. No, it tried to yank me, but Aegrabane was out and ready before I even set eyes on who the hand belonged to.
But there was no one. Not at first, at least, until I saw the mortar between a column of stones pull apart. Ludovicus’ face appeared in the small gap. “In here,” he whispered, his eyes wildly scanning the corridor.
I peered both ways, willing my heartbeat to return to normal as I followed him through the hidden door into the dusty passageway.
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” he whispered, and I could just make out the outline of his silhouette in the dim light as my eyes adjusted.
I let out a quiet sigh, sheathing my blade once again. “I am.”
“You have the blade?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Yes. How did you know–”
“Here.” He reached into his cloak, producing something I couldn’t discern in the darkness. “Give it to me.”
I reached into the sheath, awkwardly pulling out the hiltless blade with my thumb and forefinger. Ludovicus’ movements were quick, evidence he knew exactly what to do. An acrid smell hit my nose, sharp and pungent, before he hummed to himself.
“The glue won’t cure for a few days yet,” he said, offering the blade to me carefully, steel first. “It won’t be the strongest, but at least it has a hilt now. It’ll allow you at least one good strike.”
The words settled between us as my hand ran over the hilt he’d attached, careful not to let it hold any of the sword’s weight as I tested it in my grip. It fit perfectly, and solved a major problem I’d been planning on attempting to solve on my journey. “Thank you, Ludovicus.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and I couldn’t tell for certain, but I thought his voice cracked. “About your brother.”
I pursed my lips, my eyes falling to the floor. “Thank you.”
“Be safe,” he said, a gentle hand reaching up to squeeze my shoulder .
I nodded quickly. “If you do see Petra, could you not tell her where I’m going? I… I’m doing this so she doesn’t have to. I don’t want her getting any ideas.”
He was silent for a moment, his mouth twisting before his head dipped in a nod. “Okay.”
And then I was slipping from the hidden door, a blade on each hip, and a purpose so great, I felt its pulse alongside my own.
I was going to kill Malosym.