Chapter 51
Petra
My skin burned. Steam climbed up the back of my throat. The storm within me was a hurricane of resolve, and in its eye was a raging inferno. Malosym had Cal. I might not be leaving this Saints damned beach, but Cal would be, and I was going to make sure of it.
Get Cal back. Kill Malosym. That was the plan.
Adorex landed in the sand, her serpentine neck moving back and forth as she scanned the expanse of shoreline glittering beneath a crescent moon, a low growl rumbling in her throat.
Adorex. Stay , she thought, her anxiety echoing through my head.
My lips pursed as I laid a hand on the scales of her cheek. “No, Adorex. You have to leave. Stay close by, though. When I get Cal back, I want you to fly him to Araqina.”
Adorex. Stay , she repeated .
“Malosym told me to come alone. He can’t see you here. I don’t want to give him any reason to hurt Cal.”
Adorex. Know.
“You know what?”
Malosym. Die. Petra. Die. Her nostrils flared, those ancient crystal blue eyes piercing straight through to my soul.
All I could do was nod solemnly. “If I kill Malosym, I’ll die too.”
Cal. Know?
“No. Cal doesn’t know.”
Cal. Angry.
A smile pulled at one corner of my mouth. “He will be angry, yes.”
Adorex huffed, her massive snout nudging against my side. Petra. Good.
Tears pricked at the backs of my eyes. “I’m trying to be,” I whispered. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
No. Chance , she thought. Adorex. Know.
“Enjoy the sunshine, Adorex.” She stared straight through me for a final second before her wings flexed beside her.
Grains of sand stung my face, stirred into the air as the giant beast lifted from the ground.
She was the most beautiful sight, and watching her silhouette grow smaller and smaller as she neared the horizon was simultaneously a stab wound and a balm.
And then, I was alone. So I began walking.
Down the beach, farther and farther away from the spot Adorex had left me. Malosym had told me five days, and Queen Irli had been right. I couldn’t simply sit there and wait. I could, however, get myself to the beach and search for Miles.
My rhythmic steps lulled me into something like a trance. Each wave that gently rolled onto the shore receded farther than the last, the tide calling them back out to sea. The moon shifted in the sky, and at some point I turned around, following my footsteps back again .
Somewhere beyond the horizon was Astran, a continent I spent my entire life on but still knew so little about.
Never again would I set foot on its soil, hear the legends of the beasts that prowled its mountains.
Never again would I stare up to the highest reaches of one of its castles knowing not a soul inside its walls had ever gone to bed hungry, while I wondered how the hell I was going to secure our next meal.
And never again would I wade into the tranquil waters of Pellucid Harbor, or wave hello to Caroline the seamstress, or walk arm in arm with Larka with the dirt of Inkwell’s roads stuck in my throat.
All those memories belonged to a life that had never truly been mine.
My heart may not have spent its life pumping human blood, but my soul held tight to human memories. Human struggles. And a beautifully complicated, horrendously perfect mess of human emotions.
All those terrible and trying things made the joy that much sweeter.
The large moments of ugly and unpleasant made the small moments of hope that much brighter.
Because what was love if not the excruciating fear of living without someone?
What was happiness if not the absence of sorrow?
And what would good be if evil did not exist?
Marita had said two opposing things could exist at the same time.
But what if they could only exist at the same time?
Never one without the other. Not really.
And all at once, I felt one of those human emotions at full force.
My chest swelled as the feeling poured in, weaving itself into the fabric of my soul alongside the hurt and the love and the insufferable grief that made up so much of me.
Even as I walked the beach, searching for the body of my friend, waiting for Malosym to show his face so I could burn him to ash and myself along with him, it swept through me.
Gratitude.
I was grateful for the impossible choice Katia and Rhedros had made.
I was grateful to have lived and loved and lost in the Human Realm.
I was grateful for the life they’d granted me, for the sheer fact that even amidst so much suffering and devastation and heartache, I’d known love.
And they were the first ones to show me what it meant.
As I reached the end of my footprints in the sand and found myself back where Adorex had left me, it all became clear.
This was where I was meant to be. My purpose in life was to die on this stretch of shoreline a hundred miles from the people I loved.
Everything else, everything I gained and lost and lived through, had been a privilege.
I lowered myself to the sand, propping my bag beneath my head as I stared up at the stars, and I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, it had all been worth it.
◆ ◆ ◆
After four days of walking the beach, I woke up on the fifth to a dense fog hanging low over the sea. It didn’t dissipate as the morning dragged on, not even as the sun broke through the clouds and warmed the already stifling air. And when afternoon came, it remained.
He was near.
“My sincerest apologies for keeping you waiting, your Majesty.”
The sound of waves had been the only thing keeping the silence at bay since I’d arrived here, so the sudden voice should’ve startled me.
It didn’t. In fact, I smiled as the familiar voice slithered over my senses, and I turned slowly, enjoying one final moment before I faced the darkness.
One final moment of comfortable warmth before I let the fire consume me completely.
Malosym stood in the sand, all shadows and smoke in the gray midday light. He was alone, no blade in his hand and no sheath at his hip. That familiar, infuriating smirk pulled at his mouth.
I’d made peace with death. I hoped Malosym had, too .
My eyes locked on his, trailing him as he shifted back and forth on his feet, impatiently waiting for my response. Steely determination and raw power coursed through me, my voice low when I finally spoke. “Where is he?”
Malosym clicked his tongue. “You want me to return him already? Before the fun has even commenced? Come on, Petra. I know that Inkwell upbringing put more fight in you than that.”
“Where is he?” I repeated as my lip curled back. Flames danced beneath my skin, begging for permission to be set free. Not yet.
“I’ll return him to you on one condition.”
“I’ve met your conditions already. I’m here alone, am I not? I have no army or weapons. Now where is he ?”
He raised his hand, wisps of smoke stirring with his movements as he pinched two fingers together. “One more miniscule condition.”
“You’ve taken everything I have to give,” I seethed. “There is nothing left.”
His eyes darkened as he extended a hand toward me. “Join me.”
A humorless laugh erupted from my throat. “Join you? Really?”
“Burn the world alongside me, Petra. You can’t deny the darkness that lives within you, the joy you feel when you allow yourself to be lost in its allure. Let it out. Let it flourish . You are a part of my bloodline, after all.”
I prickled at the sound of the word, at the antagonizing glimmer in his eyes.
“I may have a darkness inside me, but is there no goodness inside you?” I asked.
The question seemed to come from nowhere, but I found myself wanting his answer.
“You want my darkness to flourish. Why can’t you do the same for your goodness?
You created Katia. There must be some light in there somewhere. ”
He ignored my words, taking a bold step toward me. “Join me and the little court you’ve made for yourself will be spared. ”
I knew better than to trust my first reaction to his words. The thought of my little court being spared from Malosym’s wrath provoked an undeniable, primal surge of protectiveness. But I knew each word had been hand selected to do just that — provoke me.
“You’re forgetting something very important here, Malosym,” I continued. “You’re forgetting I’m not afraid to die for this. In fact, I’m very willing to die for this.” Sparks began to dance against my palms.
“There’s no part of you that wants to let that darkness take hold?
” he asked, taking another step in my direction.
I fought the urge to step back, instead digging my feet deeper in the sand.
“That’s the prophecy, isn’t it? The Daughter of Katia will burn the world.
Step into that power, Petra. Fulfill the prophecy. ”
“That’s the prophecy you released into the world.
That’s what you wanted people to believe, so you could convince someone else to do your dirty work and keep my blood from staining your hands.
” This time, I took a step toward him, staring up into the empty pits that were his eyes.
“I don’t share that fear with you, Malosym.
I’ll gladly stain my hands with your blood.
I’ll wear it as a badge of honor. I’ve come into my power, and there’s only one thing that can kill me now. ”
“You know my plans are not to kill you. I want to introduce you to your parents. A little family reunion of sorts. Though, I heard you’ve already met.
” His smirk deepened, his depthless, swirling eyes narrowing, assessing me for even the tiniest reaction to his words.
“I’m sure they’d love to have you come stay with them.
Of course, if there’s not enough room, I could always just kill them. ”
“Maybe an Extos could’ve killed a Forgotten Saint in the Old World. But not here. Because if you could kill them, you would’ve done it a long time ago.”
He clicked his tongue. “Maybe so. But it’s just so much fun to keep you guessing. ”
“You don’t scare me, Malosym.”
“What if I tell you my forces are on their way here? That you can try to take me down, but all I need is a handful of Occulti to restrain you and bend you to my will?”
I waved my arms to the beach around us. “Go ahead and conjure up your forces. Bring them all. I don’t care. But you, Malosym, will die today.” Flames licked up my wrists, fury pushing out from between my ribs, begging for a release. Not until I have Cal.
Malosym’s smirk morphed into a full-blown smile, sending an involuntary shudder through my body. “I don’t need to conjure them here. They’re already in Araqina.”
My flames fizzled and died. My mouth fell open. And my heart dropped from my chest into my stomach. “What did you just say?”
“I can admit, the army you’ve built for yourself is rather impressive. But they’re easily outnumbered by my Occulti. I’ve sent half my drivas, too, and my current total stands around one hundred. I know your education was lacking, but even you can manage to do that math, right?”
The Occulti were in Araqina. And fifty drivas. Fifty fucking drivas.
I reached for the line in my head connecting me to Adorex. Get back to the city , I thought, willing the desperation and panic to travel down the connection. The Occulti are in Araqina. Gehenna and Rixa were the only two drivas there right now. Adorex! I screamed down the line.
No answer. Fuck.
Every passing heartbeat quickened my spiral, every shallow breath twisting together my rage and my fear.
And they could only coil so tightly before they snapped.
I tamped down the urge to lunge for him, to unleash the years of fire he’d stoked within me.
He had Cal, and until he was safely off this beach, I was at his mercy.
It would be the last fucking time I’d be at his mercy .
Adorex, please , I screamed in my head. Can you hear me? Get to Araqina!
No thoughts filtered back to me.
“Where is Cal?” I demanded through a tight jaw.
His head cocked, his brows furrowing. It was a look of confusion so genuine, I almost dared believe it. “Cal?”
“Where is he, Malosym?”
Slowly, his brows rose, his eyes crinkling, until there was no sign of his signature smirk. No, a jagged bolt of dread speared straight through my chest as that smirk was replaced by a sinister smile. “You thought I’d be returning Cal?”
My already shallow breathing stopped completely, the residual heat in my hands quickly dying. Frozen in place, I searched the wicked delight gleaming in Malosym’s eyes. He had to return Cal. What else was important enough to me that I’d willingly walk into the monster’s den?
With a flick of his wrist, Malosym was no longer alone, because standing next to him was Lieutenant Miles Landgrave.