Chapter 15 #2
“Aye. He said the father was already suspicious about your presence at Kildunan.”
He’d felt that. Father James’s eyes missed nothing, and his mind seemed as keen as his gaze. If the father learned what Hew was investigating, it wouldn’t be long before the king found out.
“So,” she said, her eyes gleaming with intrigue, “what are we to do?”
“We are to do naught.” This had become too close for comfort. “I will look into matters more deeply.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Ye’re bedridden.”
“I’m not bedridden.” Indeed, after he shook off the last of his sweating, shivering need for opium, he intended to get up and around and make himself useful.
“Ye need someone on the outside. Someone with unlimited access. Someone who can dig up more information. Someone,” she said, raising her brows meaningfully, “they’ll never suspect.”
He hesitated. He hated to admit it, but she was right about that. Nobody would question Carenza’s motives or suspect she was assisting him. Not only was she a woman. She was the laird’s irreproachable daughter. It would help to have her poking her nose into things.
“Ye know I’m right,” she added.
“What about the monastery?” he challenged her. “The second thief has to come from there, aye? They’re not about to let a woman within the walls of Kildunan to question all the monks.”
“The second thief doesn’t have to come from the monastery. Peris has access. He goes there all the time. The second man could be the one who stashes or sells the valuables.”
Hew narrowed his gaze. “Which one said Father James was growing suspicious—Peris or the other man?”
“The other man.”
“Right. So he’s the one with the knowledge o’ what happens at Kildunan.”
“Och. Aye.” She thought for a moment. “Then I could find out who ’tis by questionin’ Peris.”
“He’s going to wonder why. And eventually he’ll know you suspect him of something. He’s anxious and impulsive. If he tried to kill me…” He let the sentence hang. The idea of Peris hurting Carenza was too awful to think about.
She scoffed. “He won’t touch a hair on my head. My father would…string him up by his ballocks.”
Hew choked back a laugh. He doubted the delicate maiden had ever voiced such a crude phrase aloud before. It amused him. It also flattered him that she felt safe enough with him to mince no words.
Still, it didn’t feel right, getting Carenza involved in such a perilous game. She didn’t understand the kind of men and the desperation she was dealing with. Hew did. He saw it every day, defending the border and keeping the peace.
“My lady,” he decided, “this is not like reiving a coo. This is thievery on a grand scale, perpetrated against the church. Those involved will be severely punished. Maybe even hanged. That kind of threat will drive a man to do unspeakable things.”
“I can look after myself,” she assured him. “Trust me. Peris wouldn’t hurt me.”
“You didn’t believe Peris would intentionally try to kill me either.”
“I do now.”
He shook his head. “I don’t like this. If something were to happen to you…”
“If somethin’ were to happen to me,” she said with irritating practicality, “ye’d go to Kildunan and take your vows, the same as before.”
That was the lie he’d told her. And to be honest, if something happened to her, he might decide to withdraw into the life of a monk and make his vow of chastity permanent. But that wasn’t the way he felt now.
“I couldn’t live if I lost you,” he murmured.
When her eyes widened, he realized he’d bared too much of his heart.
So he amended his words. “For a knight to lose the lady he’s supposed to protect is a disgrace.”
“I see,” she said softly, obviously injured by the retraction. “Well, no one said ye needed to protect me.”
He wanted to go to her then. To take her in his arms and hold her close. To swear to protect her with his life. Forever.
But knowing what he knew now about her feelings…how much she desired him…how she’d imagined his kiss and longed for more…
Protecting her now meant protecting her from him. From his impulsive and intense nature. From his powerful passion. From the haste with which the storm of his desires could build and grow and overwhelm a lass.
He had to keep her at arm’s length. Forget her seductive midnight confessions. Maintain a distance that would keep her honor intact.
He owed it to her father. He owed it to her.
“’Tis a knight’s duty to protect all women,” he told her.
Carenza’s heart sank.
“O’ course.”
She’d spilled her innermost secrets to Hew. Shared her darkest desires. They’d kept each other’s confidences. Saved each other’s lives.
Now he felt as cold as the depths of a loch.
Was she truly just “all women” to him? Did he have no feelings for her?
His nonchalance hurt her. Then it irritated her. Then it made her angry.
She wouldn’t let her anger show, of course. That was not the way a laird’s daughter behaved.
But she intended to prove to him she was one woman who didn’t need protecting.
She was not some helpless damsel in distress who needed a big, strong Viking warrior to rescue her.
He had no authority over her. She need not abide by his wishes.
She would investigate the thefts. She would question Peris.
And if he didn’t like it, he could mince off to the monastery and join the other monks who were hiding from the world.
“I should be goin’,” she murmured.
“Going? Where? ’Tis the middle of the night.”
“’Tis All Souls Day.”
“I doubt the souls will mind waiting in the graveyard at least until dawn.”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not tired. I slept enough for two days. Besides, ’tis always a difficult day for my Da. He still mourns my Ma.”
Hew nodded and sighed. “’Tis hard to lose someone you love.”
She wondered at that. Hew was yet a young man. What would he know about love and loss?
“Shall I leave ye the cheese?” she asked.
“Aye, thank you.”
She started toward the door, then remembered. “I think ye’re safe with Peris now.”
“I’m done with opium anyway.” He added softly, “But I think I would prefer your tender care anyway.”
She bit her cheek, annoyed. What game was he playing? Aloof and distancing one moment? Warm and inviting the next?
She faked a smile of apology. “I really need to look after my father today.”
He nodded.
She almost made it to the door before he said, “You won’t do anything foolish like question the physician, right?”
She scoffed. “Don’t be daft.”
Damn. That was exactly what she meant to do. In fact, she’d thought of a way to squeeze the information from Peris as easily as getting milk from a coo.
Of course she wasn’t going to tell Hew that. But he’d thank her later when she single-handedly uncovered the second thief.
The door closed.
Hew frowned.
Don’t be daft, she’d said. That wasn’t the answer he wanted. He expected something more reassuring.
Like O’ course I won’t do such an unwise thing.
Or Nay, ye’re right, ’tis too dangerous for a woman.
Or Why would I do that when I’ve got a strong, noble, chivalrous Rivenloch warrior at my beck and call?
But nay, she’d left him completely without assurance.
And the more he thought about it, the more he worried that was exactly what she meant to do.
He popped the last bit of cheese into his mouth and threw aside the coverlet. His arms still burned, and he’d needed to change the bandage on his hand. But he couldn’t afford to waste another day drowsing in the laird’s bedchamber. Treachery was afoot. And The Woman He Loved was in peril.