Chapter 7 #2
“And he was not ready to do his duty to you?”
“No. He was not.”
“Then he is a fool.”
“Yes, I think you are correct, but it does not change my circumstances.”
“If we marry—”
“I thought we were marrying.”
“Hear me on this. If we marry, our way will not be easy. At least not here. Have you thought to seek a white man to marry you instead of me?”
Suzette paused. “If you do not wish to do this, Mr. Lion, you are entitled to tell me this fact directly. Do not spare me, for I will not crumble.”
“You misunderstand. I do not say I will not or do not wish to marry you. You are new to this country, and therefore you may not realize there is much prejudice between my people and the white man.”
“Is there? May I disagree? Only today I saw a man here at this show, and with him an Indian wife and an Indian family.”
“Hau, and this is permitted him because he is a white man,” said Black Lion.
“And the opposite is not true? I, being a white woman, cannot take an Indian man as husband?”
“Hau, you can. But the way will be hard for you. You should know this.”
She nodded. “Thank you for your concern. And now you may happily consider me to be properly apprised of this information.”
He sighed. Though the night was filled with other sounds, the tone of his frustration was loud enough she could hear it.
“As I understand it, you seek a way in which to save your reputation and the reputation of your child. Yet I would be careless if I did not tell you that by marrying me, your reputation would hardly be saved. The whites will forgive you the child, for your child, being white, will of course look completely white. But by marrying me, you may not save your reputation.”
She paused. “Did you think I would not be aware of the fact?”
Silence fell between them. It was several moments later when he said, “If it is only a man you need as husband for your child, I should tell you I know a man who is white who is a good man. I think he would be easily convinced to marry you.”
“You have told him of me?”
“I have not. Nor would I do so. This would be left to you to do.”
She frowned at his shadow. “You are telling me the truth about this? You have not said anything to the man?”
“Hau. I gave you my word I would hold your secret close to my heart. I would go to my death with your confidence if need be.”
“Good.”
Another silence ensued between them, broken only by a gunshot in the far distance. The drumming had, for the moment, ceased.
He said, “Do you still wish to do this?”
She breathed in deeply, letting it out again uneasily. “I do.”
She watched his shadow as he nodded, although he asked, “Is there a reason?”
“Of course there is a reason,” she remarked, but she said not another word about it.
After a moment, he uttered, “Though I know it is impolite to ask, I would know your reason.”
She paused while she considered the request. “Very well. I suppose you have the right to know. But I warn you that you will not like what I have to say.”
“I feared as much, yet I would still know what it is which drives you to do this.”
She hesitated. “And if I tell you, you will not change your mind about our marrying?”
“I will not.”
“I must have your word on this.”
“I promise.”
She inhaled deeply. “I suppose this is all very well, then. And so I will tell you. It is quite simple: I do not want a man in my life. A white man might desire more from me than I am willing to give. Also, he could possibly come to think he had a husband’s rights with me.
Or worse, he might envision my child is his own and wish to keep it. ”
She watched as Black Lion waited for her to continue. When she did not, he said, “And you do not fear this fate from me?”
“No, I do not.”
He chuckled slightly. “I do not know if I should be flattered or insulted.”
“Perhaps you should feel both. The truth is I want only the fact I am married legally, so my child is not born out of wedlock. But beyond this, I want nothing. I will require not a thing from you, not even your presence in my life, for once the child is born, I fully intend to return to England.”
“Without your husband.” It was no question.
“Yes,” she affirmed. “Definitely without my husband.”
“It is a good plan. For you. But what if I want more from my wife?”
“You could still be free to marry another, could you not?” She frowned. “Within your society, it is permitted to have more than one wife, is it not?”
“In the past this was true. But we are now a part of the white man’s world, and I believe the missionaries on my reservation would disapprove.”
“Oh. I did not realize. And this is your objection?”
“No, I have no objections, except that it has never been part of my plan to marry…anyone. Yet, I agreed to help you, and I will, but I would ask for one gift from you. It is important to me.”
“Yes?”
“I would like to kiss you from time to time while you are here. And—”
“What kind of kissing?”
“A simple kiss, and perhaps all the acts which go with it.”
“Acts?”
“When we kiss, I would like to touch you like this.” He held up a hand to run his fingers down her cheek.
In response, and quite against her will, she felt herself go limp.
“Or perhaps like this.” He brought his hand down to massage a sensitive place on her neck.
She gulped, and with eyes closed, shivered. “And this is all you would expect?”
“If you will it.”
Her eyes flew open. “Will it? What do you mean?”
“Simply this: if the time were to come when you are ever willing and wanting more than a kiss, I, too, might be agreeable. But if such a time never comes, then I will have to be satisfied with a mere kiss.”
What an understatement he was speaking. There was nothing mere about this man’s kisses.
She said, “This sounds like a gift I might be willing to give you...perhaps.”
But he wasn’t finished. “There is one more matter I must speak to you about.”
“Oh?”
“Though the child will not be my own, I would like to come to know him. If I am to be a father, then I should like to see him, if only so he might become familiar with a man and what is expected of a man in the society he finds himself. I will not try to possess him or take him from you.”
“And if it’s a girl?”
“I would like to come to know her, as well.”
“You realize I intend to return to England after the babe’s birth?”
“I do. Do you agree?”
“Are you expecting to come with me back to England?”
“Hiya.”
“And, am I right? This word means no?”
“It means no. Are we in agreement?”
“Yes.”
“Good,” he uttered softly. “Do you have a father or brother whom I should seek to gain permission?”
“No, not here. My father and mother are in England.”
“They know you are here? You did not run away?”
“They know I am here.”
He nodded. “And the Song Bird, the one the whites call Irena, is she a relation to you?”
“She is my grandmother.”
“Your grandmother…” He arched a brow. “She looks good for a grandmother. I am glad, though, to learn she is not your mother. For a man must not speak to his mother-in-law and must avoid her by all possible means. Irena is a friend, and we have had many conversations. I would not like to have to avoid her because of marrying you.”
“No. I should think this would not be pleasant. So, if Irena were my mother, you would really have to avoid her?”
“Hau, you are correct. A man must not look at his mother-in-law, nor should he speak to her. But gifts can be sent to show one’s respect.”
“How strange.”
“It is not strange,” he defended. “To talk to the mother of one’s wife would be very unusual, I think. It makes for ill relations in the family.”
Suzette tilted her head to the side. “How peculiar. You are an odd one, I must say. But I am bound to marry you anyway…” she sent him a surreptitious glance, “…on the pure understanding, of course, of our marriage being in name only.”
“Hau. I have not misunderstood you or your desires on this matter. But I think you forget one point, and perhaps a good point.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“Once you become accustomed to my kisses, you may find it difficult to leave me…” Without any further conversation, he leaned toward her and kissed her soundly on the lips.