Chapter Nine
Sam woke to find Elsa and Klara still asleep.
He stood and opened the door a crack. The sound of warfare from the Eastern Front line swung precariously between rapid individual gunshots, daunting silences and the heavy bombardment of an unstoppable force.
The distant battle had become the background noise to their journey, and although its advancement meant Germany was losing, he was grateful to hear that it had not come closer during the night.
The sun was low on the horizon. Early morning was a good time to start walking again.
He turned to find the child had woken and was silently watching him.
He smiled at her, then crossed his eyes.
Although she did not smile back and her expression did not change, he fancied he saw the veil of wariness fall from her intense staring eyes .
. . to reveal amusement. It was a small win.
She was a sweet child and he had the urge to make her understand the ‘enemy’ were, on the whole, good people to know.
He walked over to Elsa and gently nudged her awake.
She unfurled her limbs, like the petals of a flower, stretched and slowly opened her eyes to stare up at him.
One day, he thought, a man would be lucky enough to see her waking up like this every morning.
‘We should leave,’ he mumbled. He offered her his hand.
She ignored it and eased herself to standing.
‘Leave nothing behind,’ he added as he dragged his gaze away from her tousled hair. ‘I’ll hide the worn shoes under the sacking. Are you hungry?’
‘Yes.’ She self-consciously ran her fingers through her hair.
He watched her efforts, which only succeeded in making her wary of him . . . or embarrassed. He fought the urge to smile as she retreated. ‘Good . . . that you have an appetite. Let’s find some breakfast. I’m starving.’ He looked at Klara. ‘Are you hungry?’
‘She doesn’t speak English,’ said Elsa.
‘She doesn’t seem to speak at all.’
‘Would you, if you were constantly in fear?’
Sam ignored her, turned to Klara and mimed eating. Klara gave him a slight smile and tentatively nodded. Elsa lifted her chin and pressed her lips together.
Her annoyance at their blossoming bond made him press the point home. ‘I think she likes me.’
‘She doesn’t know you,’ said Elsa as she briskly collected her things and prepared to leave.
They found breakfast later that morning, thanks to a young couple who were kind enough to share what they had on the outskirts of Pritzwalk.
Sam stayed at a distance with Klara, concerned at the curious looks that were cast in his direction every now and then.
Klara must have sensed his nervousness, as the child slipped her hand into his and left it there until Elsa returned.
Elsa spoke to the couple at some length.
Too long for his liking. Finally, she bid them goodbye and returned, carrying bread.
As soon as she reached them, they began to walk away.
They walked for several minutes until they were sure that they were alone. A secluded spot was the perfect place to finally sit down to eat.
‘What did you talk about?’ he asked as she tore the bread and shared it out.
‘News from the front,’ said Elsa. ‘Mostly sourced from rumour and third parties.’ She encouraged Klara to eat with a smile and began eating her own.
He studied her as she stared at the distant road. ‘And what did you say about me?’
‘Nothing.’
‘They looked as if they were talking about me.’
‘Are you worried that I told them you are British?’
He remained silent for a better answer.
‘They thought you were my husband.’
‘And what did you say?’
‘I told them you were my brother.’
‘Klara’s father?’ He looked at Klara. The idea of a familiar link to her niece hadn’t occurred to him.
‘They wanted to know why you hadn’t joined me to speak to them.’
‘What did you say?’ He bit into his bread and chewed as he waited.
‘That you were mute and—’ she tapped the side of her head — ‘damaged from a bad experience during a battle.’
He swallowed the dry lump of bread down with some effort. He already felt guilty about not being on active service. He didn’t need a reminder.
Elsa shrugged. ‘What could I say? I had to give an excuse as to why you are not fighting.’ She winked at Klara and spoke in German. Klara looked at him then back at Elsa.
‘What did you say to her?’
‘None of your business.’
‘I think it is.’
‘You don’t have to worry. I’m not going to tell strangers who you really are.’ She offered Klara some water. ‘I should have told them you were dim-witted from birth. It would explain your silence and lack of understanding better.’ She turned to look at him and smiled brightly.
It was the first time he had seen her smile and for a brief moment he wondered if it was genuine.
He had not seen the point where this serious conversation had turned to teasing, yet here was the evidence in the form of a pretty smile, which lit up her eyes in a way he could not have envisaged.
‘Did they believe you? That I was mute and brain-damaged?’
She feigned seriousness. ‘Mute — I’m not sure. The other . . . well, they seemed convinced.’
Sam had the sneaking suspicion she was enjoying herself. ‘Is that how it is going to be from now on? I’m to be mute and not right in the head?’
‘Yes, unless you want to learn German.’
‘I would rather not.’
‘Then you will have to be a mute and not working in the head. If it’s any consolation, I think you are rather good at it.’
Sam tore at his bread and popped a small piece in his mouth. ‘And what was the news from the front?’
Her smile faded. ‘The Russians are advancing unchecked all along the Eastern Front. There are more stories of rape. Lack of clean water for our soldiers. But this is good news for you, is it not?’
‘Rape? Who is raping who?’
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She packed what was left into her bag, stood up and encouraged Klara to do the same.
‘The stories they tell are too terrible. I don’t want Klara to pick up on it.
’ She touched Klara’s cheek and smiled sadly at her.
‘I just want to get to Bremen and see my family again.’
Sam got up too. ‘No soldier would r—’
‘Tell that to the Red Army,’ snapped Elsa. She relented. ‘I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about the war any more. We are on different sides. What is bad news for me is good news for you.’
‘That is not always the case.’
She hesitated. ‘That is easy to say when you think you might be winning.’
They continued their journey westwards in silence.
The temperature had risen, causing the many snowdrifts to thaw.
A bounty of scattered, abandoned belongings and dead bodies had been revealed, which they sombrely searched for food, money and clothing that could mean the difference between life and death.
For the first time in days, they were able to enter a village and buy provisions for their journey.
Once again Elsa left Klara with Sam as she entered one of the stores.
While she was inside, a low rumble of engines warned him that a large number of military vehicles were fast approaching.
He took Klara’s hand, retreated down a side street and watched their arrival as they filled the village square with diesel fumes and noise.
Elsa emerged from the shop to find herself in the midst of the spectacle and surrounded by German soldiers.
Sam pulled his cap down low and turned his collar up high.
He crouched before Klara, smiled at her and lifted her into his arms. Remarkable child that she was, she allowed him to play at being a doting father, uncle, anyone that knew her well and made him less conspicuous.
He watched Elsa as she looked about her.
Her serious expression changed to one of hope when she realized the soldiers were not wounded.
His stomach twisted in pain as he saw the same sweet smile she had aimed at him shown to the German soldiers.
After some discussion between officers, the soldiers prepared to move off again, heading towards the Eastern Front.
Elsa attempted to speak to one of the drivers, but he ignored her, revved his engine and drove away, forcing her to step back.
She attempted again and again, going from truck to truck in her desperate search for information.
Finally, she gave up and crossed the road to find him.
Sam braced himself as she approached, determined to not feel moved by her hopeful expression.
She turned away from him and waved the last truck off.
‘Their heart isn’t in it any more,’ he murmured. ‘They know they are losing.’
‘They are still fighting, aren’t they? Why would the generals send them to fight if we have lost?’
Sam pushed himself away from the wall he had been leaning on and gently lowered Klara to the ground.
‘That’s what I’d like to know.’ It was the first time he had come close to challenging her about her country’s actions.
‘Perhaps you should join them. They will need nurses to tend to their wounds when they are shot.’
She looked at him. ‘Do you want me to go with them?’
‘I don’t care what you do. As you said, we are on different sides.’
He saw his words hurt her as plainly as if he had slapped her in the face.
He felt sick but he resisted the urge to apologize.
He walked past her and out into the road hating himself, hating all Germans, hating the world.
Witnessing the hope in her eyes that German soldiers might still defeat the Allies had shocked him, but of course that was where her loyalties lay.
It should not be a surprise, he scolded himself.
After all, she was German. Yet, when he heard her footsteps following behind, he was still glad to hear them.
They did not speak again until they were outside of the village and it was safe to do so. Elsa drew level with him. ‘Did you want me to go with them?’