Chapter Twenty
It had been a week since Elsa had last walked any distance, so it was only natural to wonder if she was up to the task.
She searched the horizon for a field of rapeseed in early bloom.
The emerging yellow crop was adjacent to the barn where she had last seen Klara and Sam.
There were several, but one looked more familiar in shape than the others so she set out towards it.
She had gone no more than a mile when a cart pulled by a swaybacked horse stopped beside her.
She looked up into the familiar eyes of Walter.
‘Gertrude said you had left. I’ll drive you to the station.’
‘I’m not going to the station.’
‘Then I will give you a lift in this direction.’
Elsa wanted to decline but found herself reluctantly accepting and climbing aboard instead.
It was the first time Walter had spoken to her without Gertrude nearby.
She found it easier to understand his gruff manner now that she knew the full extent of his loss.
They fell silent, just as they used to at mealtimes, having nothing in common and no wish to find one.
Today, Elsa was thankful for the silence, and without the four walls around them, it felt almost companionable.
Suddenly, Walter turned the cart off the road, guiding the weathered horse down a less-used road.
‘Where are we going?’ she asked, a little alarmed.
He pointed to a large swathe of forest, one of many that scattered northern Germany.
‘This city of tall pines,’ Walter told her, ‘belongs to me.’
Elsa shifted in her seat. ‘Why are you showing me this?’
He squinted at her. ‘I wanted to show you something first.’ He eased the horse to a stop and cupped his hands together around his mouth.
His imitation of an owl’s call immediately dispelled her fear.
It was so convincing that she looked above the trees, expecting to see a nocturnal owl break the habits of a lifetime and soar into the air.
The breeze lifted slightly, rustling the pines as if in reply.
He called again, the haunting sound sending a shiver through her in childlike anticipation.
Whatever Walter wanted to show her must be worthy of this detour, for he did not seem the type of man to waste time on frivolous things.
A man stepped out from the trees, hands thrust deep into his coat pockets, but did not approach. His features were barely visible as his cap was pulled low and his collar turned up. But Elsa recognized him from the way he stood and squarely looked at them.
‘He says you know him,’ said Walter.
Elsa turned to look at him. She hesitated. Could she trust him?
Kind eyes looked back at her. ‘Do you?’ Walter asked again.
Elsa dared to nod.
‘Do you want to go with him?’
Another quick nod. She was thankful that he saw it and did not cast any judgement on her.
Walter pulled a bag from behind his bench and gave it to her. ‘More food for your journey.’
Tears of relief and joy sprang to her eyes as she reached for it.
Walter smiled. The simple emotion changed his face instantly from a silent, embittered man to that of an indulgent grandfather.
‘Tomorrow I want you both gone,’ he said, his tone a mixture of sadness and command as the bag hung between their hands.
‘He is a good man, Elsa, but he is our enemy. We are betraying our motherland by helping him.’
‘I know.’
His arm relaxed a little, but the bag remained firmly in the knot of his fist. ‘But I’m tired of war. And if I see good in a man’s eyes, I judge a man on his character and not the soil he was born on.’
‘There are not many like you, Walter.’
‘I am no saint. I know we have lost the war. I can hear the front coming nearer. I see too many people fleeing the towns and cities. I talk to these people and from what I hear, I believe—’ he thumped his chest — ‘in my heart that within weeks the Eastern Front and Western Front will meet and Germany will fall. I see our soldiers from my fields. They are sullen and exhausted, but they have also lost faith.’ He let the bag go so she could claim it.
‘You must find your mother. She needs you. Nowadays it is safer for a woman to travel with a man who pretends to be mute than to walk alone.’
She nodded. ‘I know.’
‘I hear there is not much left of Bremen. You may be on a fool’s errand. But I hope you are not and wish you well.’ He jerked his head, indicating she could go.
She hastily climbed down from the wagon. Instinctively, she felt he would not want to see them together, so she waited for him to turn the cart and drive away.
Only then did she turn to face Sam, who had not moved since her arrival. He slowly opened his arms. Any guilt she may have felt about knowing him dissipated on the breeze and she found herself running and running until she was in his embrace.
He hugged her tight to him, as she did him — a defiant hold, as if to show the world that this place, one beside the other, was where she was meant to be.
And within the tightness of their hug was peace, breath to breath, body to body, heartbeat to heartbeat, a sanctuary, a friendship, an inner circle that no one could break and that the sound of distant artillery could not harm.
Elsa breathed in deeply, capturing for ever the musky, fresh smell of him.
Earth, pine and outdoor living had combined into a heady scent that reminded her of strength, goodness and freedom, with a hint of impending rain.
She tried not to think about their next parting.
It would inevitably come, but at least next time she would not be left with a gaping, torn wound caused by not having the chance to say goodbye.
‘Sam,’ she whispered to the air. The name felt indulgent on her lips as if tasting a sweet delicacy for the first time. ‘I thought you had left me.’
She felt him smile against her hair. ‘Not without saying goodbye.’
‘And Klara?’
He turned his gaze towards the trees. She saw Klara watching with a broad, tearful smile on her face. Elsa ran towards her and lifted her up, hugging her tight as if she was her own child.
‘I’ve missed you!’ Klara said.
‘And I have missed you too.’
Sam joined them, wrapping his arms around them both, and they held each other tight.
It was Sam who finally broke from their bonds. He touched her face and looked intently into her eyes. ‘Are you well?’
She nodded.
He frowned. ‘Are you sure?’
She smiled, pleased to be able to reassure him. ‘Yes, I am sure.’
He took Klara from her and scanned the horizon. ‘Come,’ he said as he led her into the shadows of the pines. The thick carpet of dead pine needles softened their footsteps. He lowered Klara to the ground and pulled Elsa close again and she nestled in his embrace.
‘I thought you had gone,’ she said.
‘I would not have left you.’
‘But believing that was better than the alternative. Not seeing you meant you could be dead.’
‘I did think I was a goner when Walter caught me watching the house.’
‘He could have killed you.’
‘But he did not.’
‘I was so afraid you would be caught. Walter did not tell me you were still near.’
Sam pressed his lips against her hair and kissed her. ‘Good. I wanted you to take your time to recover. If you knew I was nearby you might have left your sick bed too early.’
‘How long has Walter known you were with me?’
‘I think he knew all along we were not strangers. He caught me outside the house on the second night and brought me here.’
‘Why would he choose to help us like this?’
‘I don’t know. Why would a man choose to start a war?
Man is complex. I did not tell him about Klara.
I didn’t know how far I could trust him.
I waited until he left and went back for her.
I told her to stay in the woods whenever he returned.
We made a deal, you see, Walter and me. I would chop wood for him and, in return, he would leave me food. He has been feeding us ever since.’
‘I didn’t know he could speak English.’
‘He doesn’t but we understood each other.
And Klara taught me a few lines of German, which helped.
But mostly it was through miming. He had an axe, pointed to the wood and mimed eating.
He had either mimed he wanted to eat me or he would feed me if I chopped wood.
I chose to believe it was the latter.’ She smiled.
‘We shook hands, but he continued to hold mine longer than he needed to have done. I’m sure it was a silent acknowledgement that he was heartily sick of this war and he thought he saw in me someone who felt the same way. He was right.’
They fell silent, enjoying the warmth and feel of each other’s bodies as they watched Klara select something to eat from her rucksack.
His gentle tone broke the silence. ‘We are not far from Bremen, Elsa. Three days, or less.’
Elsa turned her body into him, relishing the rough texture of his coat against her cheek as his chest rose and fell with each breath. It was something normal in a world of chaos. ‘I know.’
‘We will have to part again.’
Elsa inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Her whispered reply, I know, stuck in her throat and was impossible to voice.
* * *
They began the final part of their journey almost immediately.
Despite being refreshed and well fed, each footstep felt less energized than any other that they had taken.
Initially they walked downhill, which helped them cover much ground, but by the second day the going had levelled out.
A mixture of forests, open fields and small villages lined their journey.
They continued to avoid the roads, as the main routes now teemed with a mixture of desperate civilians and battle-weary troops.
At one point Elsa approached a family with a cart laden with goods to find out what was happening and came back with the news that the Allies had crossed the Rhine several weeks before and that the German army was in disarray.