Chapter Twenty-Three #2
The woman squeezed her hand again. ‘This is why I waited for you. Come, let us walk by the river.’
* * *
Elsa stared at the large river that cut Bremen in two. Frau Schmidt had told her everything she knew and answered all Elsa’s questions as best as she could. Now there seemed little to say but to reflect and think and absorb the pain while life continued on around them.
Elsa watched an American navy patrol boat speeding through the water towards them, expertly navigating the half-submerged tangled girders of a bombed bridge nearby.
As they approached, Elsa could see that the sailors on board were laughing, glad the war was over.
The boat left a series of V-shaped waves behind it that disrupted everything in its wake.
The men’s laughter died away as they sped past, all on board oblivious to her suffering.
The waves scudded across the surface and lapped noisily at the riverbank where she stood.
She finally found her voice again. ‘Did you see their bodies? I mean actually see them. They might have been out when it happened.’
‘I helped look through the rubble, Elsa.’
‘But did you see them?’
The woman nodded gravely. ‘Yes, I saw them.’
‘All of them? If you’d just seen a hand or leg it could have been someone else.’ Desperation made her delve deeper into the detail, and for a moment she felt as if she had been there, too, clawing through the debris.
‘I saw your aunt and mother. My husband and daughter found your sister.’
Elsa felt a sharp stab of resentment that Frau Schmidt still had somebody. How was it fair that she still had her family when Elsa’s had been wiped out? Her eyes brimmed with tears for the first time since hearing about the bombing raid. Her chin threatened to tremble and crumple like a child’s.
‘They had only arrived the day before. Your aunt was so pleased to see them and invited me over to meet them. I hadn’t seen them in so long but when I arrived I could tell immediately that your mother wasn’t well.
Many people had typhoid and I was afraid she did too, so I didn’t stay.
I shared my concern with your aunt and she said she would put her to bed and stay with her.
I volunteered to fetch a doctor and my husband and daughter went to get some extra food. ’
‘Was that when the air raid happened?’
‘Yes. I went to the nearest shelter for cover and couldn’t return until it was over.
My husband and daughter were saved by finding another shelter elsewhere.
When I returned there was nothing left. We began digging straight away, of course.
Others came to help me. I was frantic. We all were.
They were found about three hours later.
They had made it to the cellar but the cellar roof had collapsed onto them. ’
They fell silent for some minutes, Elsa imagining the horrific scene.
It flashed across her mind, like a movie, but the bodies were of people she loved and missed so much.
Any hope she had was gone. The enormity of what she had learned struck her like a thunderbolt.
Sudden. Severe. Life-changing. She found the simple act of breathing difficult.
Panic surged through her body. ‘My family are all dead!’ she sobbed through heart-wrenching gasps.
‘We can be family. I’ve known you since you were born.’
Elsa shook her head and retreated a step. It was not the time for such well-meaning promises. Her legs drained of strength and began to tremble violently beneath. She reached blindly for the grass and crouched down, afraid she would faint.
‘Elsa! My little one, are you all right?’
Elsa warded Frau Schmidt off with an outstretched hand.
‘Give me a moment.’ She tried to calm herself.
Breath in. Out. In. Out. Her breaths steadied.
Her heartbeat began to slow. She realized she was crouching on all fours as if she were an animal.
But the death of her family could not be undone. Nothing could make this right.
She slid to a sitting position. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be silly. You’ve had a shock.’
Elsa felt sick. Tears began to silently flow.
‘You must come home with me.’
Elsa shook her head. ‘I should have left Gollnow with them. I would have noticed Mother was ill sooner. Perhaps found her a hospital.’
‘This isn’t your fault, Elsa. Come stay with me. We don’t have much but—’
‘No, I’m grateful for the offer, but no.’
The woman slowly nodded. She sat beside her, squeezed her hand and stared at the water as it gently lapped against the banks. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have told you what happened. Perhaps it would have been better if I had kept quiet and you still had hope.’
Elsa found her handkerchief. ‘I’m glad I now know the truth.’ She tried to stem the flow of tears. ‘You did the right thing. Thank you for finding me.’
‘We must meet regularly. Perhaps we could find bigger accommodation where you can live with us. Do you like that idea?’
Elsa inwardly recoiled. Having the death of her family confirmed was too new and too raw to replace them with another.
She needed time to process everything she had heard.
Her family could not be replaced . . . like an old sideboard or bed.
But it was more than that. She had Klara to think about.
And she would be hiding the secret that she had feelings for a British soldier.
He had changed everything about her and she could not enter a family and pretend they had never met.
‘Thank you for the offer. I would like to keep in contact, but I have accommodation and a little work. There is no need to worry about me.’ She sounded more confident than she felt.
In reality, the future looked uncertain and more difficult than this woman could ever imagine.
She dried her tears, blew her nose. She smiled and took Frau Schmidt’s hand.
‘At least the war is over now. I don’t have the luxury of time to feel sorry for myself.
None of us do. I would like to sit here a while. On my own. Do you mind?’
‘I understand. I’ll meet you here this time tomorrow. I don’t want you to be alone. I want to help you in any way I can.’
Elsa nodded and watched the woman walk slowly away.
What was there to live for now? Klara, for a start.
And the search for Klara’s family. Perhaps Sam would keep his promise and return one day.
She could not live her life, or end it, without seeing him one more time.
What else could help her keep putting one foot in front of the other so she did not crumble and give up?
We have to rebuild Germany so the next generation can live happy lives in peace, she thought. We must. Somehow. We have to. The children of Germany did not start this war. If we don’t help Germany rebuild, they will have nothing.